The institution of monogamy is actually fairly recent, in historical terms, let alone evolutionary ones. It's entirely artificial, and frankly no longer useful. We have better ways to achieve the same ends. But societies are conservative, and customs change slowly.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I second what @HereIbe said. Specifically
"As has been said, infidelity is not polygamy. Infidelity is polyfuckery. Polygamy is having multiple SPOUSES, not multiple fuck partners. That people cheat does not prove that we are innately polygamous. Alcoholism and tobacco use do not prove we are all innately addicts, even though they are very common. Fickleness does not prove that fidelity is "unnatural". Anger does not prove we are all murderers"
I don't agree, although I have had many lovers, I did not share them with anyone at the time there are lizards and birds that mate for life. it's admirable, I think that's the most important part of a relationship, is that you love each other. not how many people you screw week to week.
I have to disagree with you completely, I have never been in love with more than one person. I dont even hug my parents, never did, never going to. Every time I am in love with a woman all other women become inferior and she is the only one for me.
Your response says more than you know... don't even hug your parents, never did, never going to. Wow... Either they were the most screwed up parents ever, or who knows. Your answer has trust issues emblazoned on it.
and what "culture" would that be? Animals, including humans, who grow up with touch and tactile expression, end up being strange, almost invariably. You've already stated when you love one woman all others become "inferior"... really? Odd choice of words sounding very much like skewed vision and possession obsession. So what culture is that again?
@loveslongnails Belgian culture, but that wouldn't matter to you because you know nothing of my country. Inferior simply means below in Latin like superior means above (it has nothing to do with supremacy, that word comes from the Latin word suprema, it has nothing to do with superior or inferior). If I have a girlfriend she stands above all other women, all other women should be irrelevant, I dont have eyes for them, only for my girlfriend.
Even the French from France find that we are stoic, its how our culture is, you wouldn't understand.
Well women are a lot more monogamous than men for the most part. Men (and some women) are polygamous but they eventually search for more. Life isn't so black and white. Everyone has their own unique views and feelings on things. If I was to say "All women cheat" you would instantly disagree, because everyone is raised differently. With different morals and beliefs, as well as their own personal preference. In short, your statement is more or less bullshit.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
"Thou shall not commit adultery." and "Thou shall not covet your neighbor's property." These pretty much tell me what to obey even if temptations point me elsewhere. It's very simple. I fear God.
i completely disagree, i never been in love with 2 people at a same time, the idea of it disgusts me a lot. i always wanted just 1 woman to spend my whole life with
Monogamiy is that what God wants and that what makes happy in the long term. You are right if you say that there can be a wish to be polygamous on the Inside but this is the sin within us, the fleshly heart that must not be obeyed.
Funny; I talk with God all the time, and He never mentioned a desire for only monogamous relationships. In fact, both historically AND scripturally, He approves of polygamy. How about that...
@taleswapper Perhaps you talk to God but you don't read his word, the bible. You can see clearly that all the polygamous relationships in the bible were very complicated and full of problems. This is the way the bible disagrees to polyg. in the oold testament and in the new testament it clealy describes that a man must be husband of ONE wife to be an elder.
If only it was possible to switch off the,, oh I like that,, it maybe a pair of shoes or dress the latest fancy gadget but sadly some times it comes on two legs. This where the lust comes in and if it was possible you would go for a test drive !!!
Well if you love someone you don't want to hurt them. And cheating on them is going to hurt them. So the cheater can't love the original partner all that much.
Polygamy is defined as the practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time-that is a big difference between loving a parent or pet an d loving a spouse
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
More like monogamous up there but polygamous down there
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I am finding more and more people of the current generation who think that monogamy is archaic. I also have a friend who thinks that eventually marriage will become obsolete...
@HereIbe Soooo... are you suggesting that I am "stupid"? Only the government has the power to make marriage legal, not religious institutions. That means that the possibility of change is always present. There could come a time when religious institutions will continue the practice, but they won't be legally recognized. The situation would be like same sex commitment ceremonies before the Supreme Court decided that same sex marriage is now legal.
People have STILL been predicting the end of marriage for THOUSANDS OF YEARS! Government could make slavery legal again, too. Does that mean it WILL happen?
@HereIbe Anything can be made legal or illegal. Laws change all of the time. It depends on the trends of the times. I am referring to marriage as a legal institution. You seem to be hung up on marriage as a cultural/religious phenomenon. Actually, it's spelled "millennia," not "millenia"... for "stupid people." Not sure what "millenia" means. I have always known that "millennia" means a period of a thousand years.
@HereIbe Again, let me try to make this clearer. I am referring to marriage as a legal institution, not as a cultural/religious institution. The uproar in the legal world over prenuptial agreements and child custody issues are causing fissures in the LEGAL institution. Those who are religious devotees and are hung up on tradition will continue, but that doesn't mean that the LEGAL institution will remain forever. A lot of this is fueled by changing financial situations and gender roles. Marriage has been about property rights, power and security. In the US, the nuclear family is fading. Here is an article addressing the trend: www.salon.com/.../
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
44Opinion
The institution of monogamy is actually fairly recent, in historical terms, let alone evolutionary ones. It's entirely artificial, and frankly no longer useful. We have better ways to achieve the same ends. But societies are conservative, and customs change slowly.
I second what @HereIbe said. Specifically
"As has been said, infidelity is not polygamy. Infidelity is polyfuckery. Polygamy is having multiple SPOUSES, not multiple fuck partners. That people cheat does not prove that we are innately polygamous. Alcoholism and tobacco use do not prove we are all innately addicts, even though they are very common. Fickleness does not prove that fidelity is "unnatural". Anger does not prove we are all murderers"
I don't agree, although I have had many lovers, I did not share them with anyone at the time there are lizards and birds that mate for life. it's admirable, I think that's the most important part of a relationship, is that you love each other. not how many people you screw week to week.
I have to disagree with you completely, I have never been in love with more than one person. I dont even hug my parents, never did, never going to. Every time I am in love with a woman all other women become inferior and she is the only one for me.
Your response says more than you know... don't even hug your parents, never did, never going to. Wow... Either they were the most screwed up parents ever, or who knows. Your answer has trust issues emblazoned on it.
@loveslongnails I dont have trust issues, my parents never hugged me, its not normal in my family, nobody does it, you know nothing of my culture.
and what "culture" would that be? Animals, including humans, who grow up with touch and tactile expression, end up being strange, almost invariably. You've already stated when you love one woman all others become "inferior"... really? Odd choice of words sounding very much like skewed vision and possession obsession. So what culture is that again?
@loveslongnails Belgian culture, but that wouldn't matter to you because you know nothing of my country. Inferior simply means below in Latin like superior means above (it has nothing to do with supremacy, that word comes from the Latin word suprema, it has nothing to do with superior or inferior). If I have a girlfriend she stands above all other women, all other women should be irrelevant, I dont have eyes for them, only for my girlfriend.
Even the French from France find that we are stoic, its how our culture is, you wouldn't understand.
Well women are a lot more monogamous than men for the most part. Men (and some women) are polygamous but they eventually search for more. Life isn't so black and white. Everyone has their own unique views and feelings on things. If I was to say "All women cheat" you would instantly disagree, because everyone is raised differently. With different morals and beliefs, as well as their own personal preference. In short, your statement is more or less bullshit.
"Thou shall not commit adultery." and "Thou shall not covet your neighbor's property." These pretty much tell me what to obey even if temptations point me elsewhere. It's very simple. I fear God.
i don't agree personally but i respect anyone's desires to be polygamous
i personally have no desire to deal with more than one relationship, one person, etc
I've yet to let myself get to know another guy enough to love him at the same time as 'the original', but never say never, right?
i completely disagree, i never been in love with 2 people at a same time, the idea of it disgusts me a lot. i always wanted just 1 woman to spend my whole life with
Monogamiy is that what God wants and that what makes happy in the long term. You are right if you say that there can be a wish to be polygamous on the Inside but this is the sin within us, the fleshly heart that must not be obeyed.
Funny; I talk with God all the time, and He never mentioned a desire for only monogamous relationships. In fact, both historically AND scripturally, He approves of polygamy. How about that...
@taleswapper Perhaps you talk to God but you don't read his word, the bible.
You can see clearly that all the polygamous relationships in the bible were
very complicated and full of problems. This is the way the bible disagrees
to polyg. in the oold testament and in the new testament it clealy describes
that a man must be husband of ONE wife to be an elder.
i agree with this 100%, being with 1 person is such a hard decision to make
If only it was possible to switch off the,, oh I like that,, it maybe a pair of shoes or dress the latest fancy gadget but sadly some times it comes on two legs. This where the lust comes in and if it was possible you would go for a test drive !!!
Women can never be monogamous.
Its just not in their genes to be loyal.
I'm not saying this because I hate women, I'm saying this because its nature.
The same goes for men
Well if you love someone you don't want to hurt them. And cheating on them is going to hurt them. So the cheater can't love the original partner all that much.
Well, at least the girls are eh? Self-admitted solipsism and hypergamy right there on display, right out in the open!
Simply put, I don't believe fidelity is proof of love, or vice versa. I can't make it any more basic.
Earlier monogamy was to stay with one person whole time
Now monogamy has evolved people say I'm monogamous with person , I'm currently involved with :-D
Polygamy is defined as
the practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time-that is a big difference between loving a parent or pet an d loving a spouse
More like monogamous up there but polygamous down there
I am finding more and more people of the current generation who think that monogamy is archaic. I also have a friend who thinks that eventually marriage will become obsolete...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and the same stuff was written about 100 years ago, too.
@HereIbe Nothing lasts forever.
And, yet, the demise of marriage has been predicted for millenia (that's "thousands of years" for stupid people).
@HereIbe Soooo... are you suggesting that I am "stupid"? Only the government has the power to make marriage legal, not religious institutions. That means that the possibility of change is always present. There could come a time when religious institutions will continue the practice, but they won't be legally recognized. The situation would be like same sex commitment ceremonies before the Supreme Court decided that same sex marriage is now legal.
Depends, did you not know what "millenia" means?
People have STILL been predicting the end of marriage for THOUSANDS OF YEARS! Government could make slavery legal again, too. Does that mean it WILL happen?
@HereIbe Anything can be made legal or illegal. Laws change all of the time. It depends on the trends of the times. I am referring to marriage as a legal institution. You seem to be hung up on marriage as a cultural/religious phenomenon. Actually, it's spelled "millennia," not "millenia"... for "stupid people." Not sure what "millenia" means. I have always known that "millennia" means a period of a thousand years.
Now, how does that PROVE that marriage WILL disappear. Go ahead, illustrate the PROOF. Your'e just wanking in public.
@HereIbe Again, let me try to make this clearer. I am referring to marriage as a legal institution, not as a cultural/religious institution. The uproar in the legal world over prenuptial agreements and child custody issues are causing fissures in the LEGAL institution. Those who are religious devotees and are hung up on tradition will continue, but that doesn't mean that the LEGAL institution will remain forever. A lot of this is fueled by changing financial situations and gender roles. Marriage has been about property rights, power and security. In the US, the nuclear family is fading. Here is an article addressing the trend: www.salon.com/.../