No, Age Isn't "JUST" A Number

No, Age Isn't

The cliché when it comes to dating is that "age is just a number."


This is also used as something people say when they are experiencing ageism or something related when they get older. Although this is a good mindset, age is absolutely not just a number. Age is only represented by a number. Age is a life experience, love experience, work experience and experiences that can't be rushed or bought in any way.


There are many disadvantages to dating someone that is not your age. I'm not talking about two, three, four or five years apart between both of you. I'm talking 20, or even 30 years apart, and that isn't alright. I'm not here to judge, I'm just making known what you are eventually going to find out the hard way, which is that large age gap relationships almost never work.

Just think about it. If you're 20, you're either in college, just out of college, or just started working. If you date someone that is 40 or 50, they are in the stage of their life where they are already settled down or are seriously looking to soon. Of course, this isn't an absolute case, but it is generally what happens. Dating someone in a completely different stage of life can be difficult for this reason. You are both looking for different things. Although you may find comfort in each other or like them a lot, the logistics just don't work.

If you don't want the same things, a relationship can almost never work.

Also, when it comes to life experiences, one of the most important parts of a relationship is experiencing things and exploring life together. If one person has already been through that stage, it will leave a part of you unsatisfied which can be detrimental to your health and happiness later on. Whether it be as simple as something as your taste in music to your opinions on certain topics that may change generationally.

And hey, let's face it. After you reach a certain age, your opinions are pretty much set in their ways and it can be hard to be with someone like that when you are still developing yours.

I'm not discouraging you from dating someone older or younger than you because it would look bad or because of what people might think. In fact, I don't believe it matters what other people think about anything you do. This is really for your own good. I'm also not saying I know what is best. I just want to offer some advice so that you think hard about what you want and make the best decision you can. Love is an important thing in your life and the more mistakes you make, the more difficult it becomes to heal your broken heart.

No, Age Isn't

This was a response to a recent MyTake I read.

All love,

Angelina25 <3


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Most Helpful Guys

  • *Clapping Hands* BRAVO dear Angelina, another beautiful strike with a great take.
    Could never get bored from your posts honestly.

    I totally agree with you, age really is more than a number when the gap is too big. I would never see myself dating a teenager, it is wrong and it is considered as abusive rape too.

    I can't even understand how some religions allow a marriage between two people with big age gap, like a 30 years old guy getting married from an 8 years old girl. That is WRONG.

    I have been into more than one relationship myself with an older lady/woman. The biggest gap was 8 years. Both adults and above 20 years old.

    I have learned a lot from them and mostly how to respectfully love a woman.

    I also want to agree on the "Generation" matter, as for today most young people were born after this whole virtual world started while other people such me were already living the changes when it started. I don't pay much attention to this Internet world while a 15 years younger girl would be paying more attention and making it her life, seeking for virtual validation on her looks etc...

    In my own honest opinion, frankly, it will be a short term relationship just for fun and nothing more than that in case the guy was 20 and the woman 40. And wouldn't the 20 years old lady feel like incest loving someone who could be her father?

    Sorry if I have offended anyone, not my intention at all, was just sharing an honest opinion and trying to get a clearer view :-)

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    • Exactly and Thanks, love <3

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    • Thank you for MHO dear Angelina :-)

    • No problem :)

  • You are correct. Alone, an age difference should not stop two people from dating. But before they start dating, they should consider how far apart they are in terms of goals, expectations, interests and activities. The idea of dating a hot 20 year old girl sounds very exciting and flattering but I really don't want to spend time in clubs and the amount of time she spent on her cell phone would probably annoy me. If she was serious about me, she would eventually want to get married and have children. I'm 63 years old and if I had a child today, I would be 81 years old when that child graduated from high school (if I was still alive.) And between now and then, I probably wouldn't have much patience for screaming babies and whiny toddlers. She would be bored attending extended family gatherings with me and the idea of a month long driving vacation across the US probably would not appeal to her in the same way that it would appeal to me.

    Of course, there are people who are exceptions to the general rules. There are young people who have very mature interests and desires and there are older people who are very young at heart. Even then. . . suppose I start dating a 33 year old girl. When she is 50 years old and still very active, I'll be 83 years old. Hopefully, I'll still be healthy and active but I could possibly be in a wheelchair. Does she want to spend many later years caring for an invalid?

    On the other hand, if someone is looking for a casual sexual relationship, age differences can be an advantage. An older partner is generally more experienced, more attentive, more caring, and wants to please his partner while a younger partner can make the older partner feel younger and desirable.

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    • Lots of young women look for older men. The young women want the older men for power and money and the older men want the young women for their bodies, sex and as a trophy to put on their arm when they go out. If the man were to suddenly become thirty years younger he could find someone with her own money who is nicer and more genuine. If the woman were to become thirty years older he would say she is too old, wrinkly and maybe fat for him, even though he is older than her. So yes age matters.

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    • Thanks for MHO!

    • No problem :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • Very good take. I agree with your assessment, and would say that dating anywhere from 2-5 years within your own generation is usually best, because statistically speaking, you will have the most in common. In my own experience, I've found that dating or talking to someone much older or much younger is, while fun, not something that will lead to much because they are at such different stages of life. Doesn't mean you can't still appreciate each other. But it's rare anyways.

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  • This is the best explanation I've seen of this topic on this site. I have dated plenty older men and while I can say they seemed like saviors in my time of need. There would have been no need for that type of experience had my father been there like he should, and mother did her job. You could experience some form of abuse and you never know this until you get older.

    Many of these men usually also are selfish, immature and fetishizing you. It is when you reach a critical stage in the relationship where he doesn't show genuine concern that you'll realize you are a toy to him.

    Think about it, why would a person want to be in a long term relationship with someone years apart in age? I am not saying this cannot be true love in extremely rare cases, but mostly it is not but someone taking advantage.

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    • @azzntittiz Celine Dion might disagree with you.

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    • @azzntittiz I wholeheartedly agree with this.

    • Thanks and I completely agree with you :)

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What Guys Said 52

  • All true. However there are many successful couples up to 10 years different 'till about forty. After that, up to 20 years different is do-able.

    The other problem is if you're forty and take up with a sixty, when you're sixty and still doing well, your 80yo spouse is, well, REALLY old. LOL I simply would not do a 80yo. LOL

    That said, a good looking 40yo guy that has kept in shape and is rich, can pull women from 25 to 60. But really, why would he take a 50 if he can get a 30? :)

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    • I don't get what's with the younger = better.
      Think of this way. "Why get a red, ripe tomato when you can get one that still is green?"
      Sometimes there's a limit to things until it starts being in the bad range again. Think of it like a parabola.

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    • Oh, and yes, 25yo's are all fine and great 'till they open their mouth. But they're not for conversing with, they're for banging. :)

      Too many guys make the mistake of what their partner's role is. What the most important things are. And they think a woman will love them like their mother did/does. Not ever happening. Guys love idealistically. Girls love opportunistically. If there's benefit for them they're all in. If not, they bail or cheat, or shut down sexually. How many guys do you see where their wife treats them like a child, berates him, corrects him, and hates having sex with him. This is the result of HIS failure to be a real MAN. The woman takes over if YOU let her!

    • Words of wisdom my friend

  • I refuse to date and more than a 6 year ahead difference. Too much of an age gap with different experiences and place in life. Even so years makes a difference, I've dated two women who were about that much older than me and we just weren't in the same stage of life.

    Age is just a number, but if you're saying 50 is similar to 25 then you are ridiculous.

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    • Well a 50 year old may have been held hostage for 30 years. their experience in many ways -or lack of -would be similar to a 25 year old.

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    • its not that i think they should-in most cases its just creepy bc they are doing it in a predatory way. i dont plan on dating 3 years + or minus. im just saying age on its own does not actually mean anything. that does not mean in most cases it does not actually mean a lot.

    • i do think its good you are not voting for 40s and 20s like so many guys bc 'men like women for youth' in which case ' men are inherently pedos' (im not saying that. i just mean following that logic)

      i was just speaking in the abstract on a technicality :)

  • love the saying in German,

    man ist nicht so alt vie man sich fult, also alt vie man alt ist.
    (probably some spelling up there thats wrong)
    You're not as old as you feel, you're as old as you are old

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  • There are so many permutations of people's situations and where they are in life that you can't always simply look at their age and make assumptions. My girlfriend is 22 years younger than me and would presumably be at a different stage in life but she has worked for a decade in her family's business and is quite mature and street-smart.

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  • I couldn't disagree with this more. My girlfriend is 25 and I'm 46. Seems to work just fine for us.

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    • Well, lets hope it works out longer...

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    • @Rissyanne Sure. Or in a twist of fate I could end up being hers. No one knows how things will play out; we just do the best with what we have and go from there.

    • The chances of her being your caregiver is very high. I have a friend who in his 20s married a woman in her 40s. Now he is in his 50s and she is in her 70s. She had dementia and she is very mean and bitter. He is her caregiver and will remain until she dies. He says he has no life.

  • I mean, I wouldn't want to date someone who is still in high school or someone who has already married twice and experienced all the things I still want to experience, true.

    But that is just the practical side to age, I could see myself dating a 45 year old, if they somehow are in the same spot in their life that I am.

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  • Age is a word
    10 is a number
    CR7 is ❤

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  • I get where you're coming from, but when it's two consenting adults, then yes, age is just a number. Just because someone may have more experience doesn't mean they've gained any more wisdom from it than someone with less experience, and wisdom is what truly matters.

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  • Obviously pedophilia is an atrocious act, but I'm in my twenties and I'm dating a woman who is almost forty. I don't mind. She doesn't mind. Why is it anybody's business at that point?

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  • Definitely. Even if the younger one isn’t minor it’s really weird for someone young dating someone older than their parents. Goodness gracious.

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  • The reason people say "age is just a number" is because there are so many people out there who are trying to impose their beliefs about dating on others. I went to a wedding where my 25 year-old cousin was marrying her 41 year-old fiance, and there were relatives talking shit about their age difference.

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    • Yet half of the relatives that were talking shit about their age difference were unable to find and make happy and be happy through a person of their own age or thereabouts. I have known of couples who blame their marriage/relationship going wrong on different nationalities, others on an age gap, but in truth there are just as many couples who are from the same age group that do not work out.

    • @bethshepherd I agree. In fact, the least successful couples in my family are the high school sweethearts who were the same age. Every one of them grew apart so that they now stay married only because they don't believe in divorce.

    • I know lots of couples who stay married because they do not believe in divorce - or health - or religion - they often use excuses such as it is for the sake of the family/children - but it is always for their own sake. Many of them are women who are too lazy and uneducated/skilled to get a good job so stay with a rubbish or boring husband because he provides for them. It gets quite laughable when they pontificate on whether another couple are right for each other - or the other couple's age gap - when they have and still are making so many mistakes themselves.

  • Yeah strange, that last part, I generally have a rule of more than ten years younger, something might change if I really want a family, but abiding by laws and bring guided by morals seems to make me comfortable. I actually don't look my age, so girls get surprised when I tell them.

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  • AS far as the law is concerned, the only case where age LEGALLY matters in dating and sex is just as the Statutory Rape meme says (where at least one of them is under 18). What two LEGALLY AGED ADULTS do behind closed doors is no one's business but their own..

    You do have a point though. If the age range is REALLY OFF, it is statistically less likely for a relationship to work, regardless of what other people say.

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  • If a 80 year old wants to be with a 18 year old then so be it.

    Adults are adults.

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    • And what do you think you're saying?
      You think that's ever gonna work?

    • Don't care if it works or not. Not my problem. They are both grown and can decide for themselves.

    • I'm NOT DECIDING FOR ANYONE. I think you haven't read it properly. It would tell you what actually I AM TRYING TO SAY.

  • Yeah,
    the easiest argument is:
    if age is just a number then pedophilia doesn't exist and thus isn't bad.

    ..
    See the look on their faces as they attempt to muster out an excuse

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    • See, the thing is, there's something called context.
      The context is two consenting adults. End of that story.

      However that doesn't mean that there aren't any responsible and mature teens out there. Same to say that that doesn't mean there aren't any naive adults.

      So really, to two mature minded individuals, age is just a number.
      However it is definitely rare to find a teenager/child out there with the capability to understand differences between reality and hormonal/emotional augmented perspective and even after that function under rational assumption.

    • @Germanium Generally yes.
      The only thing that holds is life goals.
      The truth is that the average person lives to be an average age, thus a 20 year old girl who wants a child with a 70 year old man will by the average only have a father for the child till age 12-14 based on the average, and based on the average for those who live past the average we'd be maybe getting to 20.
      So, by doing this she sets herself and her child up to loss of a husband/father at the maximum age of 40/20.
      As an example.

  • The thing is, the age gap isn't the thing that matters.

    It's the stage of life and goals that do. Yes, usually when people have a big age gap they will be in different stages, but not always.

    The thing is, most relationships won't work. Think about how many people date for a bit, and never even really get the relationship off the ground.

    The younger you are, the more apt you are to be in a failed relationship, because you're not really ready for one.
    It doesn't matter if the person you are with is older or not, it usually won't work out.
    Especially with society not really wanting it to work.

    This can be said of many relationship types that society looks unfavorably on.
    Interracial relationships, for instance, where two people come from two different cultural mindsets, will have problems.

    The real issue for whether a relationship will work, is if both parties want the same thing and strive to make it happen.

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  • "I'm not talking about two, three, four or five years apart between both of you. I'm talking 20, or even 30 years apart, and that isn't alright. "

    Where's the line. Why is the first thing okay but the other things aren't. So nineteen years apart is okay then? You mentioned twenty as some sort of magical cut off, or something.

    Age Differences In Relationships DO NOT MATTER, People ↗

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    • I've read that take and I guess, you have my response.
      I bet the relationships with vast age differences hardly work out.

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    • Few manage to make marriage work even if they were born on the same day.

    • You're messing up all stats. :/

  • Excuse me , but what the f... k do you even accually know about people and there age gap differences? Please be careful when you answer , I have an advantage over my long lived experiences vs your inexperience...

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  • I don't think anyone who says age is just a number is suggesting it's ok for an adult to marry a child. I know people at 16 who have had way more life experience and are tougher and smarter than I am in my 30s. I agree that if people are after different things it's not ideal, but I've wanted to settle down since my teens, I've always felt more comfortable with older company. The point of "age is just a number" is that it doesn't define a person's experience or personality, so someone who's 22 and wants to settle down can have a lot in common with a 50 year old who's ready to settle down. That sort of age gap is taboo but if they're on the same page, then age is just a number.

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What Girls Said 26

  • Yea i hate when people say age is just a number. I turned down many men in life because i always only wanted to date someone my age. And i did. But then once i hit college, i would hang around people who acted my age but happened to be older/younger. I never wanted anyone younger and i never wanted anyone more than 1-2 years older. Bt now here i am, dating someone 2 years younger. Smh. We’re on diff pages with the goals in life and that makes it harder for us. But he's trying to give in to the things i want because he doesn't want to lose me

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  • there are things which dont need to be said and are implied no matter what and i think when its said that age is just a number then it is implied that we need to keep our minors safe and out of such context

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  • Generation gaps seem tone the biggest issue. If they both fit into the same generation, they seem to do ok. Baby boomers and GenX/Xenials have a hard time connecting. GenX and Xenials do pretty well together. GenX/Xenials don’t usually do well with Milenials.

    Im in that micro generation of the Xenials and married a Milenial. He doesn’t act like it. But then again, he was a surprise while the other siblings were GenX and Xenials.

    I think past a certain age, age is just a number and the age gap isn’t that noticeable. It’s obviously more noticeable when one is child bearing and the other isn’t. Then we have biological factors at play as well.

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  • i agree about experience but if a 20 year old and a 40 year old are both starting school and have never dated-why not.

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  • I agree, I doubt I'll ever date someone who's more than 5 years older than me. I am just not that attracted to older guys, so I might be exception too.

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  • I totally agree with you. It’s not the physical age thing that’s gross, it’s the imbalance of power.

    It is VERY easy for an older person to impose their will on a younger person. They might not even be aware that they’re doing it. The younger person, who more than likely just wants to please their partner will go along with it, even if it’s to their detriment.

    Don’t tell me that you’re 48 and your girlfriend is 19 and she’s a domme and you’re the sub. Because here’s the question: did she want to have that kind of relationship to start with or did you?

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  • Age is not just a number. A person who has just turned adult will have little in common and be totally out of their depth with a person of sixty. They would probably find each other very boring and pointless, and the elder, who has a good job and income may well not be happy to provide for the youngster. You can have another couple get together where because of a big age gap the eldest one becomes frail, unhealthy, ill and needs a lot of care and the younger one wants to get out and and about, go on holidays, not be a nurse, housekeeper or carer. http://www.webclairvoyant.com

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  • Hi, i like your words and if we are talking about dating agree. The older we get the more set in our ways, we have lived more, perhaps had children etc. I have experiences with younger men precisely because it suits me and there is no risk either way of any relationship. Guys around my age or slightly older often are single dads with children younger than mine and most are open to perhaps more children therefore their dating age ideal is younger. Older guys than me are more of a generation that doesn't generally suit my ideals. I am of a belief that it does happen happily for some, for most it becomes complicated at some point. Even someone i know a woman of 55 married a guy 10 years older after 7 years alone and is finding it tough their differences and his male attitude being a bit more old skool... for me its all ages are tricky, apart from the young ones! lol xx

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  • Yea tell that to the pedos who think age is just a number lol

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  • If someone dated and marry someone with a large age gap... eventually you will be changing their diapers.

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    • I find the dude who is 66 and says his girlfriend is 22. This dude is lying big time. He’s married lol

  • 20 year age gap has a 95% of seoaration so yeah there is that too.

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  • This is well written and argued and I see your point.

    However, my best friend who is 21 is going out with a guy who is 44. They’ve been seeing each other for 3 years and they have a rock solid relationship. They have had problems in the relationship but not to do with age, more about experience and I think that’s where most age-gap relationships have their issues. I think when there are large age gaps it’s hard to see past it but after seeing them together, they work so well together and their love is so genuine. Just because society says it shouldn’t work doesn’t mean it doesn’t work out sometimes. I’m not saying for all cases it will work but it just sometimes it does work and really well.

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  • Good thing that VS model met her boyfriend in France then. She was 17, he was over 18. He would be slapped with a statutory rape charge lol.

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    • I agree though that a 20 years age gap rarely works for most people.

  • Well I don't really think pedophilia should even be mentioned in this topic. The expression i believe refers to two consenting adults of legal age, but maybe the expression should be changed to reflect that. Personally, as long as there's no power/experience issues in the way, its really none of anyones business who someone falls in love with and has a relationship. My boyfriend of a year is 12 1/2 years older than me, but because of different things that have happened in our lives, we're pretty much at the same places. We're both studying right now, deciding what we want to do in the future for jobs and both agree on marriage, kids, etc. Although our age gap isn't 20+ years so may not be that huge, its still larger than average. But it can work, so maybe we shouldn't really bring the matter of age in, but the experience and where you are in life as to how it would work.

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  • hmmmmm @Anon-ymous1

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    • Meh? Who says people are concerned about "relationships?" Maybe they aren't. Maybe they just want some fun and sex, and not marriage. Looking at it solely through the lens of "will marriage work for them" isn't constructive necessarily.

      Not to mention that half of marriages end in divorce in the U. S. anyway.

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    • @Anon-ymous1
      And don't you think that it is a bad thing?

    • @Angelina25 I think that marriage is really hard, and life is long, and people end up getting tired of each other. That has nothing to do with how close they are in age.

  • I have been saying this for forever.

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  • Great take

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  • Thanks for the thoughts

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  • Nice take

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  • Older guys are always hitting on me. I don't mind.

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    • As long as you don't get on with a full fledged relationship with any one of them, it's fine

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