Let's Talk About Long Distance Relationships

[Desconhecida]

Distance means Nothing . Or Does it?

There are many ways to understand love, many ways to love and to feel loved, but some of them are judged negatively by those who fail to understand them. One of these peculiar ways of loving someone is to love from a distance. Yes, I'm talking about LDR's: Long Distance Relationships.

Love is worth every mile.

This type of relationship is seen with amazement and doubt. Many people fail to understand how it is possible to keep the feeling alive when there is a lack of real intimacy.

According to Sternberg's Love Theory, for a mature and complete love existence, there must be three bases:

1. Intimacy, which causes the bond and the connection within a relationship. This intimacy will produce knowledge, confidence.

2. Passion, reflected in the intense desire of union with the other.

3. Commitment, which has to do with being faithful to the agreements made by the couple.
We usually compare long distance relationships to the fear of having a broken heart.

Internet is a friend for LDR couples

Almost like the fear of commitment, people tend to stay in the stage of passion, unable to enter the next step, Love. This happens because loving means you have to be vulnerable.
Besides, if a breakup happens, grief won't be so intense, as the bonds won't be so profound.

But the most important detail is to understand that not all LDRs are the same. Because every commitment is unique. So there are no specific rules on the subject.

The important thing is that if you fell in love with someone who is far away now, and decided to live that love, allow yourself to discover gradually how to make this love work.

Go for it!

Forget your fears. Love, every type of love, is always worth it!

SCC.

[DiegoO]

Nice MyTake. Um, the objective of a LDR should always be closing the distance, if it doesn't happen the soonest of possible, we got a problem. Houston we got a problem.

[Desconhecida]

Houston!! SOS! hahaha

[DiegoO]

x P...

[DiegoO]

Thanks for the MHO :D

[kwesipals]

It's all about communication and understanding each other.

[Desconhecida]

And patience...

[TisforTori]

Some will fail others will succeed like dating in our towns. Happily engaged and living with my previously LD partner.

[cherryphi82]

Another good take. Short but sweet.

[Guanfei]

I'm sorry but I can't follow this. I wish I could, but I can't. I've seen so many LDR fail, so many people feeling devastated when it failed, and almost none succeeding. In fact, I've seen only one succeeding, and that was only because they were rich enough to meet each other regularly.
I had some. 3, in fact. And it leaves a terrible feeling when you realise it's doomed to fail, for different reasons.
First one failed because we couldn't see each other, and at some point, it couldn't continue. Second one, she didn't wait for me, and cheated, then left.
Last one was the worst. She asked me to come, so I worked my ass off to pay for the trip... And when I arrived, she wasn't there. She didn't greet me at the train station, she didn't answer to her phone. I spent 3 days alone, outside, in the middle of winter, without any money for food. Later I learned that while I was freezing outside, she was at home getting fucked by her ex.

LDR seem worth it, when the veil of love cover the reality. But it's not. Despite having tried it, I'd never advise anyone to do it, unless they have the money. Either you can see your partner, or you'd better not try.

[melissahere]

I’m sorry you went through this! I’ve been in a LDR for over a year now, and talked to my boyfriend for about 4 years before we actually dated. Even with a good relationship, it’s hard. And I’d honestly never do it again. I think LDR are beautiful, it just takes a different kind of effort than a close distance relationship. One of the reasons I’m still in the relationship is because he’s moving close to me soon. That’s obviously not the only reason, but once you meet each other and you have a good bond, it’s harder to not be with each other. i wish you the best and hope you find someone who makes you happy

[Tdieseler]

doesn't mean im still not gonna shit on it. LDR's suck. Period.
Funnily enough, after i came out of my hiatus from relationships... thats what i did, and I've gotta say from this new experience... it takes 2 to make that shit keep going strong.
The couple other times i was in an LDR, it always seemed like the responsibility to close the distance was up to me... thats a lot of pressure. also, i was the one that it seemed had to uproot my life and move to her... yea... not happening. but if its 2, and things are trusted, one would be more confident in making the huge step.

[vishna]

I like your mytake. Currently, my partner is very far away, we must be at least 15 hours apart. And I know a lot of people do work through long distance relationships, but I feel like I'm really struggling in mine because we weren't in the best place (romantically) when we moved apart. I have brought up breaking up but he seems very against it (even though he was not even sure he wanted to date me a month ago) I just don't know what to do or if I should continue to try. I don't want to waste my time or his.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea the part that annoys me is hat we’re intimate and committed but he lacks the passion that i have about our ldr. Sometimes i feel like he doesn't want it as bad anymore

[Desconhecida]

Time for a real talk, girl! dont let him that comfortable..

[DizzyDesii]

He used to be so passionate the first 6 months but we argued so much after 6 months that im not suprised we both lost passion for a while. But then i grew passionate again and he kinda didn't

[stefis14]

I agree with all this soo much, i've being in long distance relationships and in real life relationships too and tbh it doesn't matter if you far away or not bc when u love someone distance don't matter, sometimes actually makes you want them even more, like wanting to c them and b with them and all, but for me love breaks distance, like no matter how far we are, what really matter is the love between y'all

[Mmmaybe]

I've tried it...
and let me tell you. It's just too painful. I've never been so grossly jealous and insecure in my life since being in a LDR. Yes, I know if there is trust involved then there wouldn't be issues. However, for someone who is far too analytical; those gaps of uncommunicative time will eventually eat at you. To the point, where you believe the bond is futile. Besides, I don't any man who can hold out from physical intimacy for too long.

[Elaine_17]

I've had long distant relationships, but they aren't necessarily what you think they would be. I played a game and was in a relationship with a guy over the game. I've done this multiple times, but it never felt fulfilling. I prefer to date someone in person.

[AbdKilani]

"The important thing is that if you fell in love with someone who is far away now, and decided to live that love, allow yourself to discover gradually how to make this love work."
Jumped and tried that, to find out it was all lies, although i took my time before going into the LDR , but simply there are bad people.

[Middleman]

Yup, I tried LDR once, was a complete failure. Ex kept asking me to pay for the plane ticket whenever she visited me or could visit me. Despite us having gotten quite close, it was a disaster waiting to happen...

[ThisDudeHere]

LDRs are something I'm just not attempting anymore. Two times they failed for me.
The only way I'm doing it is if we don't live that far apart where you'd have to put aside a fortune just to meet.

[Desconhecida]

third time is a charm! LOL

[ThisDudeHere]

If she's 100km instead of 1000+I'm distant, sure.

[Desconhecida]

LOL!

[DiegoO]

Mine was 8000 km away.

[ThisDudeHere]

@DiegoO was?

[Desconhecida]

@DiegoO Did you guys make it?

[DiegoO]

Is not like we are together anymore.

[DiegoO]

We tried for 3 years.

As time pass, distance is not the only problem in a LDR. Many things get in between (that has nothing to do with what's going on in the relation) and if you don't got the money to visit your SO, and the other way around, there is not much to do than to either end the relationship and be in standby mode (with a mutual agreement and still doing your best to be with that person), or completely move on. I am actually in standby mode. I only can speak for me, I am not aware of her thoughts and actions anymore. All I want is honesty. There is nothing worst than believing something that turned out to be false. That's the only thing that would get me mad. If she liked another guy, I would prefer she told me before ever having a relation with him, just to know exactly where I am standing in the moment.

[Desconhecida]

@DiegoO that's tough. But being in the "stand by mode" is not healthy...

[DiegoO]

I know, I know but there is now a real possibility for us to know each other, since I end college and I am only working on a research work.

[Desconhecida]

@DiegoO I see... I wish you both good luck and hope you guys succeed. In the end of the day, its all worth it.

[DiegoO]

Yap, let's see what happen.

[JDavid25]

Nice take.. Love is the key to make them work, cause wit real love there's trust, commitment, and wantin to make it work..

[Joeisasking]

Depends on how much both parts are willing to give.

[lazermazer]

4. Understanding.
Great take❤️

[Desconhecida]

I had a great inspiration...;)

[lazermazer]

❤️❤️❤️

[GetzRekt]

You guys are in love huh? Can I come to the wedding?

[Desconhecida]

@GetzRekt Already had your name on the guest list sweetie 😊🥂

[GetzRekt]

Thank you <3

[sayitaintso85]

This is so sweet baby, I’m glad you gave me a chance 💕💕

[Desconhecida]

Who are you talking to dude? 😂

[the_khaleesi]

That's one hell of a take. Why guys don't get that?
If not wet, don't put it in !!!

[captainw0ww]

i like this take

[Browneye57]

It's a fail. For a lot of reasons.

[Desconhecida]

yet... success is made of these failures. We eventually make it.

[Browneye57]

Uh, no. LDR's are a failure. For a lot of reasons. And stats show they're good for about 90 days. Then one or the other finds someone else. And for good reason.

And I'm not talking a separation for a limited time with someone you love. I'm talking about where people think they have a real relationship with someone they can never and will never see.

[Desconhecida]

Then let's enjoy these 90 days... life is short

[Browneye57]

You're a typical dreamy-eyed woman, all full of feelings and emotion. Newsflash honey - IT IS JUST ALL IN YOUR HEAD.

A woman can fall in love with a man without ever even meeting him. It's simply not based on anything real or tangible, it's just a feeling in her own mind. You can't discern fiction from reality.

So go on, enjoy it, do what you want. Just don't come back here whining about it when it all implodes.

[Desconhecida]

Someone had a heartbreak... chill man

[Browneye57]

You're confusing facts with projection. I have the former but not the latter. Sorry toots. :)

[Desconhecida]

No apologies needed. Go have a beer..

[BroWnEast]

thank you

[Hannajenky]

I couldnt do it

[your_ego]

let's not