My Experiences of Being Attracted to Females as a Little Girl.

There's been a lot of bisexual talk on gag here recently so I'm jumping aboard the gay talk.

My Experiences of Being Attracted to Females as a Little Girl.

I grew up in a muslim family, and homosexuality isn't something that's welcomed. I still don't think I'd ever be able to come out to my family as bisexual without them cutting ties off completely from me. Growing up in an environment where homosexuality is so frowned upon and thought as so outlandish and odd, you learn to completely ignore the signs and immediately assume yourself a heterosexual too. Heterosexuality is thrust into the brains of every kid, through the princess stories they read, the tv they watch etc. We simply don't give kids enough room to decide for themselves.

I believed myself straight till I finally started to question it around two years ago. When it just got too much and I really couldn't deny what I felt.

I've always been as girly as any other little girl, into princesses and pink and dress up; I couldn't fathom the idea of me being categorized with the "butch" lesbians and bisexuals.

SO here are some of the times where I experienced attraction to females and I completely ignored as a kid. Maybe if you're questioning your sexuality, and some of these scenarios sound kinda familiar to you, this will help.

1. My first "girl crush".

My Experiences of Being Attracted to Females as a Little Girl.

As a kid, I didn't understand my excessive like and admiration for the sweet, 10 year old who always wore her hair in a ponytail tied with a red ribbon, who spoke softly and always smiled at me from across the room. I didn't really understand why I stuttered or went red and felt funny when she talked to me. However, I still remember just feeling like "this was so horribly wrong", even though I didn't even understand what I was feeling for her. I felt "icky" when I got nervous around her, and so desperately wanted to escape it. Females were only supposed to be friends, and this idea was just so hammered into me.

2. Undressing my dolls and getting flustered.

My Experiences of Being Attracted to Females as a Little Girl.

Now this one's kinda weird lmao. I'm kinda embarrassed to admit this, but I played with dolls till I was around 11, strange, I know. But every time I'd change their clothes, I started feeling "funny" and kinda "aroused". I just dismissed this as a kid and thought it was just cause they were naked, and you weren't supposed to see people naked.

3. Dreaming about females.

My Experiences of Being Attracted to Females as a Little Girl.

When I was around 13, I had a dream of this blonde girl backing me up onto a corner and kissing me. I was aroused in the dream and woke up flustered too and confused. THIS was the moment when I first questioned that I may not be completely straight. The first thing I felt was shame, worry and disgust. I had that "icky" feeling again, and thought this meant I was less of a girl now. I didn't want to feel this way. I hated it.

3. Experiences with my friends that made my stomach go flop. (that i still denied)

My Experiences of Being Attracted to Females as a Little Girl.

This was more so my early teenage years. Before that dream I mentioned earlier. I remember my friend and I were in a dressing room together and she happened to take off her bra and was wearing a netted top, and I could see her breasts and I was so flustered and aroused. It's so insane for me to think that I didn't even think it was a possibility that I was attracted. I tried not to look, and felt so awkward and out of place.

Several times I've had to share beds with my friends, as you do, on sleepovers you know. One time i was cuddled with a friend and I was just overwhelmed with my desire to her , and this, this, just screams "you're attracted to females", and I still didn't accept the fact that I was bisexual after this.

And there were countless other times, say when a friend would kiss me on the cheek for fun, and i'd get all flustered again.

______________________________________________________________________

Well, that's that. Just to show how insane it is I ignored all of this and kept presuming I'm straight, and was ashamed to accept my bisexuality. This is the reason why we need more representation of LGBT+ for children, expose them, so they don't end up confused and in denial.

When I got nervous around guys, and admired them excessively, I understood it was a crush. But around females, I just didn't understand.

Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed!


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Most Helpful Guys

  • There is no shame in being bisexual or gay in any way. If I ever have kids I will always make sure they trust me enough to make "coming out" a none issue.

    I do not like overly religious people because I've had so many gay family members get "disowned " just because they where gay and right now they are awesome human beings.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • This is the first time i read a whole myTake! I loved it! Well said sistra.

    I share the same story as you - lots of things in common - and I’d love if we can talk about it!
    Inbox me if it’s okai with you.

    Lots of appreciation for your bravery to share this. 🌈

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What Guys Said 34

  • This idea that heterosexuality is forced upon children and that it is tantamount to child abuse is utterly absurd. Human beings are naturally and functionally heterosexual so assuming your child is heterosexual is not indoctrination.

    If you were raised Muslim, and if homosexuality is a taboo within that community and if you kept these feelings hidden then how is it that you attribute your shame to your upbringing. If the topic of homosexuality is ignored, barely mentioned, and who would discuss such a topic to a child, then your "icky" feelings are just as natural as your homosexual tendencies, you most likely felt that way because same sex attraction makes no sense biologically or from an evolutionary view.

    If anything exposing children to the LGBT community will only confuse them even further as these labels are arbitrary and ill defined. I would argue that forcing children to pick an identity based on what turns them on is harmful. It's why children kill themselves because they're too afraid to "come out", when this whole idea of "being gay" is absurd.

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    • because everytime the topic of lgbt came up the response was always disgust, seeing gay parades on tv, the response was always disgust. not just my parents, but on tv, its all guy and girl, guy and girl. i felt uneasy because of how unusual it was and how disgusted everyone was with homosexuality. im not telling them to pick a label, just dont force the fact that they can only be attracted to males. let them have exposure to both heterosexual and homosexual relationships, see what they gravitate towards. they "kill themselves" because people label being gay as absurd and odd, and they can't even accept who they are.

      and these are my experiences,

    • Ok but if you family is Muslim then that's their belief. There's nothing wrong with people expressing their beliefs. I'm sure they'd look down on drinking or eating pork too.
      TV shows guys and girls because it's reflecting reality and in reality the vast majority of people are heterosexual.

      If muslims believe homosexual acts are wrong then why would they teach their kids something that contradicts their beliefs. Would a gay couple teach their kids that homosexuality is wrong, would they give them the choice to believe whether or not it's wrong?

      The idea of "being gay" is part of an ideology with rules. It's harmful to force kids to adopt an identity based solely on sexual orientation.

  • Great take - Obviously your religion does add a few extra layers so that cannot be discounted and I wish you well on that journey - One tiny thing did jump out at me from the point of view of a young girl wondering about her sexuality, I am so girly so I must be straight but there is a definite "Femme" type in the lesbian community maybe as a contrast to the "Butch" or "Dyke" but of course a young girl from a religious community would not know the ins and outs of the gay/bi community.

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    • I've grown up in australia so I've been exposed to the gay community a fair amount especially as i grew older, just some of the views regarding homosexuality were influenced by my religious parents. the quote is describing when i started to question my sexuality around when I was around 13. i was just saying that I've always been girly, and i didn't really identify with the stereotypes that I've seen. sorry if the timeline is kinda all over the place! im just covering up my experiences till around two years ago.

    • oh woops, i thought u were asking about how a little girl in a muslim community be exposed to the butch stereotype, my bad!!!

  • That's crap, i don't support it and never will... people like you are just mentally ill and we have to accept them because there is no cure for them...

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    • thanks for the opinion tony

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    • You literally said this woman you don't even know has a mental illness because of who she loves yet me saying that it's hard for you to think outside of yourself is an insult and I am the mean one? Wow. Don't come and try to educate me about politeness haha

    • @maiave i don't need to know them, their actions speaks out loud for them...

      Still your impolite to come and bash me with such words and i haven't nothing wrong to you and no one appointed you to become their defense lawyer... so mind your own business or respect other people' s opinions...

      also i'm not trying to educate you politness, it's the job of your parents little girl...😏

  • I disagree with your end statement, we don't need more LGBT+ representation for children because its not there concern. What we need to do instead is to stop the whole doctrine of this is for girls and this is for boys and let the child choose naturally. They will likely gravitate to there own gender items and that is ok, just let there own mind explore whats out there rather then forcing anything upon them or telling them what to try.

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    • But yeah its kinda sad you where not able to naturally let your experiences go and understand that attraction is individualistic rather then defined to a certain category. I hope you feel free to love whoever you love now :)

  • One of my ex's would have a lot of dreams about being a guy and having sex with women. Does that mean she could be gay? I always wondered since literally every dream consisted of her fucking girls as a guy. It was really weird to me

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    • i donno, i still retain a female identity. maybe she's trans, or grew up in a house where males were really idolized and has secret desires

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    • I guess you pictured her masculine? She did wear those tight pants I think they were called yoga pants and those small tops that would show her stomach. She had her hair long not short. She always put effort in her appearance even though it looked casual. I don't know if that matters or maybe it's just stereotypes

    • well thats what my whole take was about ahha, im an extremely feminine girl and bi. stereotypes are really just stereotypes

  • I don't think kids should be exposed to it no, nor to heterosexuality either. Just let kids be kids and figure their feelings out as they get older.

    That being said, I don't think it should be actively censored or repressed (repressing something like this will create issues in people who have no choice in the matter, you don't choose who you're attracted to, and thats massively unfair to them...)

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  • And a parents failure to guide their child - 'that's just not normal, quit doing that.' What we seem to be missing today, so half the population is a fucked up mess.

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    • "quit having a crush on ur classmate", yeah, tell me how that works out

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    • This old dumbass likes to act like his age reflects such great knowledge. It doesn’t. You’re an insecure old idiot who happens to be 61 years old and thinks he knows so much. You don’t. You’re just an old bastard. Get the hell out

    • @mark1290 - Oh dear... the shaming and name calling. Don't be such a little cunt.
      Yes, I've forgotten more than you know. More than forty years of marriage, dating, sex, and relationships, marriage seminars, personality profiling, counseling for couples. You? Pretty much nada. So don't give me the 'age-card' bullshit cuz it's just that - you don't know jackshit.

      Instead of coming here with an open mind and the potential to learn something, you act like a young woman instead. Close minded, know it all, defensive, and weak. And you don't get to make the rules.

      So if you want to have an adult conversation and actually learn something that's fine, but you're acting like a spoiled child. Shut the hell up - this isn't even your question.

  • Im a Muslim and I wanted to say just because the Quran says bad stuff about it doesn’t mean anything. Allah made you that way and you should accept it. You should never be something you don’t want to be. You can’t change biology. That’s what God gave you so he must understand.

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  • Well, as a straight guy, I can't relate to this, but thanks for sharing

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    • thanks for reading!

  • great story, your family should accept you for who you are, thanks for sharing! ps, how old are you? (just curious)

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What Girls Said 13

  • The whole pressure to be “masculine or butch” as a lesbian something I think a lot of gay women have to deal with. When you say this I think of the YouTuber Jessica Kellgren-Fozard who is super feminine but is so gloriously gay.

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  • I say as long as ur happy and not harming urself or others, fuk em, live how u please!

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  • I went out with my female neighbor at like 5 or 6 years old :/// she was like 11 too... from what I think I remember

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  • Thank you for being honest

    Your culture would hate you for it and that would b that

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  • I guess everyone has their own preference. If thats what you like go for it

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  • Thanks for sharing. At least you are owning your feelings now

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  • Very well said.

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    • thanks for reading :)

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    • I like it how you were subtle at first with your initial opinion. Then, both of you worked up the excitement. You're both so hot!

  • I didn't enjoy. Same sex is such a turn off

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  • Nice take

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  • Good take

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