For @vishna
This dead guy came to me and said I could interview him about relationships, he said to take my time, he's been rotting for a while but he has been dying to talk to me
what kind of qualities do you look for a in a girl?
Well if she is dead, she would make good company, if she is alive she is great for parts! Hee Hee Hee
But seriously, she would really need to be drop "dead" gorgeous and really needs to know how to keep her ghoulish figure
What advice would you give to those looking for a relationship?
If they stay in one place keep'em' but if they are moving around bash them with a hammer then you have a partner that will stick around for a while and if they make a lovely house decoration
if you had a first love, what do you love the most?
Well I did at one time but she loved me so much, that she poisoned me and left me buried for dead, I guess she really wanted that insurance money, the jokes on her though, on the way to pick up the money she got into an accident, now instead of picking up the money, they are picking up the pieces. I think she is still down here somewhere, well I guess she got what she always wanted for us together forever. Only she really has to learn to find herself and pull herself back together hee hee hee
So, there is no other love for you?
Listening to stories of others misfortunes that is how I keep busy down here, it gets pretty dead down here with all these stiffs
What advice would you recommend for those in relationships?
If something smells funny, call the coroner
But what if one person does not have a coroner in their town?
Hit them over the head with a shovel if they get back up shoot them, if they stay down, they were probably human, now you can just bury them. Hey, I never said I was a doctor, I only deal with dead people, beside living people are going to die anyway hee hee hee
What would you recommend for an overall maintenance of a relationship?
If they are still breathing, that's a good sign, keep them. If they are not breathing, try hitting them over the head with a shovel
What is a parting word of encouragement that you could leave with everybody?
Remember kiddies, if you think there is someone hiding under your bed, or someone creeping behind your door, or lurking underneath your floorboards, don't worry once they eat you they will go away.
Until next time kiddies, enjoy your dead-end on jobs, and your undying taxes, will see you soon! I have a place ready for you hee hee hee by for now hee hee hee
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