A lot of people would have wanted to get married by now or even engaged but here I am 9 years later and I could still wait. I've heard it multiple times that it's weird that we aren't even engaged. I've actually had people tell me that if my boyfriend actually loved me he would have proposed by now, that I'm wasting my time, that he's going to change his mind if we wait any longer. I've heard it all and now I want to share my reason and address what I have heard from people.
Neither of us make much money right now. Both of us get paid minimum wage right now and I'm in college. There are more important things for us to spend money on right now than a ring and sure we could save up and he could buy me a ring but the problem is the wedding. I don't want to be engaged for 5+ years until we have enough money for a wedding and our parents aren't exactly rich either for them to pay.
We're basically married
We are pretty much a married couple and do everything a married couple would do. The only difference? I don't have a ring on my finger, his last name or a marriage certificate. That's all and I really don't see a ring, his last name or a marriage certificate changing anything. Our relationship is going to stay the exact same with a few differences.
Addressing people's comments
I am not wasting my life
I already want to spend the rest of my life with him so how would I be wasting it? The only difference right now is that I don't have a ring on my finger and we don't have a marriage certificate. I don't understand why anyone could possibly think I'm wasting my life.
He might change his mind
I acknowledge that this could possibly be a thing but really what is the difference between this and him breaking up with me? I'm fine if he said he wants to be with me forever but not get married. So I don't care if he changes his mind about marriage as long as he wants to stay with me and even if he doesn't that's his choice. Yes it will hurt a lot but I don't want to force someone to be with me. I want them to be with me because they want to be.
If he loved me, he would have proposed by now
I don't believe this in the slightest bit and I can't believe that some people think that just because you haven't been proposed to yet means that your SO doesn't love you. I know he loves me. He shows and tells me multiple times day every day and never once in 9 years have I ever doubt his love for me. We have talked about marriage, he has expressed wanting to marry me and we've talked about how our wedding will look like and who will attend. We've basically have planned it all out.
Honestly, the biggest reason why we haven't gotten married is money. We probably would be married by now if we had the money but even still I am no rush to. I love him, I know he loves me and really a piece of paper, a ring or his last name isn't going to really change anything, like I said our relationship is pretty much going to remain the same. Look at Gene Simmons and his wife, Shannon Tweed, they were together for 28 years before they got married. They were and are still madly in love. Waiting to get married doesn't mean you don't love each other. It's not like I never want to get married, I would love to have a wedding one day and marry him. It would be a dream come true but I'm in no rush to make that dream come true. One day it will and I'm fine with waiting.
Thank you for reading my mytake