myTake On One Sided Love - Casual Relationship

[Anonymous]

The ONLY reason I don't want to stay is because he doesn't have feelings for me.

If I say I can't have sex without feelings it will hurt his feelings. If I say I may develop feelings it won't hurt him but he will be upset. I keep being reminded that he has no feelings for me and thats what makes me feel sick and makes my heart hurt. If I go to another boy it will hurt him too. I don't want to give him any negative emotions so I'm going to let him have me until he wants to leave. There is no point in telling him I have feelings either. But I refuse to hurt or upset him by leaving while he is in his time of need. I do not want to make him feel lonely, hurt or insecure. I do not want to make anybody feel that way. Which is another reason I cannot and should not get with any boys because not only will I hurt them but him too. I will not leave him and I will protect him from hurting. I will not get involved with boys I have no intention in dating. So I will bare it, I will bare this heartache and all of this pain so I can protect him. All he has done is be kind. I will push through for him.

[jmac23]

Recently ex broke up with me cause I was working at a job for 2 years and not improving myself to find a better one. I was upset and even threw stuff away that she bought for me, but that only felt good for a few minutes and I felt like more than a jackass after. I knew she was right and even though I supported her emotional needs I was lacking her physical needs when it came to finance ande helping myself with her along the ride. Point is pain is necessary to improve something. To make a skyscraper you have to tear down this old building. For stronger muscles tear the weaker ones

[myTake Owner]

I know what you mean... but this pain it’s so much pain , he has left me as well and is after other women meanwhile I’m left here with all my love for him still in my heart

[jmac23]

So are you going to be miserable while he's happy. Selfishness is necessary sometimes. Plus he's being way more selfish than you so don't feel bad

[myTake Owner]

Yeah that’s what I was going to do, I’m very selfless, but now he isn’t talking to me so I just feel silly..

[jmac23]

Look it comes down to your happiness and if you are then more power to you, but if you aren't then it's your choice.

[myTake Owner]

Are you a selfless person?

[jmac23]

Sometimes. How I think of it is how do you give a homeless person change if you gave all your money away. How can you give your love and attention to someone who deserves it when you wasted it away on someone who isn't worth it.

[coachTanthony]

Why? Have some standards for yourself. You only deserve better than this when you clearly love yourself more. Hopefully that day will come sooner than later for you.

[myTake Owner]

I care more about others than myself that’s why

[myTake Owner]

He is silly, he says he can’t date me and that he is still young and wants to be single and be young but he would marry me

[coachTanthony]

That is pretty silly!

[myTake Owner]

Sure is, I can’t take it seriously either or else knowing me I’d wait for him so I just brush it off and think yeah ok

[luvstoned4him]

Im sorry to say this but it seems like you do not have any self respect or self esteem

I get that you want to give the guy your all and very best but what about your feelings? Love should be a two way street.

You won't see if now but in staying you are telling him its ok to treat you this way. Some men use the good ones like yourself and then -Surprise- you finding him committing to a woman who is pure and kept herself and didn't even try hard to keep or catch him. Life is funny.

[myTake Owner]

I don’t want to hurt his feelings that’s all.. and yeah maybe I don’t have good self esteem. I don’t know why I’m like this I easily feel bad for boys and I don’t want to make them sad, once one of my guy friends really liked me a lot and I felt bad so I gave him a chance when I didn’t even have feelings

[luvstoned4him]

@Kazzza I feel bad for boys too but you have to put your happiness first sometimes. If you really loves you he will try to make you happy too. I was like you once upon a time but now am more aware and alert. I realized that I was giving myself so freely, my time and resources and I was not getting hardly anything back. The more I give, the more they take and more I was left feeling unhappy. So I decided people would use you if you let them and from then on I stated my wants or needs first and what I was willing to offer and more importantly seeing if the persons beliefs and commitment ideologies lined up with mine. Love is a complete nightmare without proper experience and someone mature and wise to guide you. I know that now

[myTake Owner]

Well said x

[luvstoned4him]

@Kazzza hope it all works out for the best and that ditch this dirt bag and find someone who appreciates you

[luvstoned4him]

thanks for mho

[ILoveAnime]

You shouldn't be doing that. It's not healthy, neither for you or for him

[myTake Owner]

Yeah it isn’t

[myTake Owner]

He’s fine though

[ILoveAnime]

Still, if one of the partners isn't happy then said relationship should cease to exist.

[myTake Owner]

I am happy

[myTake Owner]

If I think too much my heart hurts.. but I can take it

[ILoveAnime]

That's not healthy at all

[myTake Owner]

Nope, but I just don’t want to hurt his feelings and I’m absolutely terrible at saying no, not even him not other guys I’ve sometimes ended up just doing stuff because I didn’t have the strength to reject them, it’s just how I am

[ILoveAnime]

Then you really should break up. Not even because of this relantioship alone anymore. You have to learn to say no, darling. But that you can only learn by yourself, since in realantionship is more likely for you to accept things and want to please

[myTake Owner]

Yeah babe it’s hard though

[ILoveAnime]

Oh hun, I'm not saying that it isn't. It will take time and it will take will. But as long as you keep your objectif in mind you can reach it.

[myTake Owner]

I have no idea how to move on and why it hurts so badly... I feel so stupid because I like him so much and he doesn’t feel the same, i just don’t know how to handle the pain, like I saw him on tinder looking for girls and I just cut my legs because it made me break down 🥺

[ILoveAnime]

Honey, you need to leave him. There's no other way about it. Realisticly, if he doesn't like you then he is not actually going to be hurt right? If he actually acts out then leave him for real 'cause that's the act of a kid who got a toy taken from him.

[myTake Owner]

Yup he’s immature for real, took me so long to realise that him wanting to have me and not wanting other guys near me wasn’t out of love or caring, was just because he likes owning me and having me to himself, took me so long to accept that, and even if I do leave though I just like I can’t move on it’s so messed up honestly

[myTake Owner]

I shouldn’t say accept I mean like realise and take that it in

[myTake Owner]

I just am messed up... my whole heart I’ve given to him

[ILoveAnime]

You're not messed up. Please don't think that. It's just a very difficult situation. But you have to think what is best for your mental health. And in this case, it's leaving him

[myTake Owner]

Thank you you’re lovely, and yes it’s so sad though I guess not everyone we love will love us back

[ILoveAnime]

Thank you :) and yes, unfortunaly the world isn't fair

[hellionthesagereborn]

What? Your going to destroy yourself because some asshole refuses to man up and either have a real relationship or move on? He care so little about you that he is willing to hurt and use you and your okay with that? That is an insane idea, why the hell would you do this? He is not worth it. Objectively speaking if he doesn't want you then he is not worth you being used up by him only to be discarded later, he doesn't deserve that devotion he does not deserve that love. Why the hell would you do that to yourself? Do you not deserve to be loved? Do you not deserve some one who will actually care about you? Do you not deserve some one who sees you as a person rather then just a hole to put his dick in? The answer is YES! Yes you deserve a good person to love you, but your never going to find them if your to busy letting some asshole use you. He is not been kind, if he is willing to use you like this he is not being kind at all, he is being a selfish little prick (and is in need of a slap to the mouth quite honestly). Don't do this to yourself.

[myTake Owner]

I do this because I am not strong enough to break things off and I don’t like the idea of making him sad or upset. I do deserve to be loved and someone to care about me but at this moment it will have to wait until he either leaves or commits. And if he does choose to leave me then I will be free and I will search for a true love.

[myTake Owner]

Also in my mind he is worth it

[hellionthesagereborn]

He already left. Your going to wait around for some one while missing out on all the other people who are willing to be with you. That's not a good way to live.

[Eleanor12]

Go seek help from a therapist. You need to come first in your life. If you don’t love yourself first, this is not real love.

[myTake Owner]

I think I care about others more than myself

[lightbulb27]

you certainly might. that is a personality attribute, like empathy and compassion and such. But if you go through life being selfless, like you don't exist, going to come up empty unless you are a tower of spirtual power, which I suspect you are not. More than likely, you have some wounding from childhood that devalued you and this is a continuation of that. Right? you don't have high self worth, because of... father? This dude is meaningless, what is important is healing you on the inside so you can give that empathy, compassion, consideration to people who are deserving of it and as well give back. He's not treating you like you have value, you aren't holding value, this is sick. Mating with him... terrible idea... don't want to bring an innocent into this mess. Stop, get help, heal, then restart life. This crap from childhood starts showing up now as we get into relationships... that's how it works.

[Eleanor12]

that is a problem! That you think you care more about others than yourself is not a laudable position. You are co-dependent and denying yourself of the opportunity to have an honest, meaningful relationship.

[myTake Owner]

Hi love, i checked out therapist prices and they were really expensive 😢

[Glen68]

What if he never wants to leave but never feels anything

[myTake Owner]

That’s insane why would he never want to leave while feeling nothing

[Glen68]

People do strange things

[smg99]

I love this advice 😎❤️

[CubaPirate]

Dump him and move on is my advice

[myTake Owner]

I don’t want to hurt his feelings, I would prefer if he just dumps me so I don’t have to do it

[1828avaava1828]

ill respond later

[myTake Owner]

Okay x

[Secretgardenblood]

Good take.

[myTake Owner]

Really

[shadow_5]

That's true

[myTake Owner]

What’s true