Men that walk away from a pregnant woman. Who's fault is it?

[Cdubs27]

I'll make this short. I see a lot of men on here that claim, "it's the womans fault she's a single mother, she drove him away". Anybody that says that is selfish and morally unsound. I don't say that as an opinion, I say that as an indisputable fact!

Lets pretend that she was a bad girlfriend/wife and that's what 'drove him away'. I'm more than willing to concede that that happens. He has every right to end a toxic relationship. However, their is a considerable difference between ending your relationship with a woman and exiting her life entirely.

When you end your relationship, you're walking away from her. But when you exit her life... at this point you're not walking away from her, you're walking away from the child/baby! You don't have to live or have a relationship with a woman to be a part of a child's life. Believe it or not, it is possible for a man and a woman to co-exist even when not in a relationship.

Clarification: When I say single Mother I mean that the Father is not part of the childs life.

[Mädchen]

This is such a big Problem nowadays. I honestly can't understand how someone could walk away from their own child. But I'd say women are partly at fault here. They often take advantage of their superior child custody Situation. Like saying the father can't See the kid cause he didn't pay for this and that or simply cause she is mad at him. The relationship the parents have with each other should never negatively Impact the child.
And people should really think about who they want to start a Family with. If he/she is not responsible, don't make Kids with them.

[backdoorman]

I agree with all of this opinion, and especially the very last sentence. Men who walk away from their children are complete assholes. And women who choose to have children with complete assholes are complete assholes.

[KrakenAttackin]

Agreed. Women regularly use children as a weapon which is morally wrong and damaging.

[Cdubs27]

Child custody is a different issue entirely. But situationally it's not any less important.

[MissDawn7961]

If you go around having premarital sex then your already unmorally sound for no where in the bible does God support and promote premarital sex ! thanks

[Dchrls78104]

Premarital sex is not only unscriptural but also unwise and in these days of feminism a means of unnecessarily complicating men's lives.

[MuffinBoi]

That's not the question

[Cdubs27]

Their are a lot of morally unsound things that happen in this world. Example: shunning your child for being gay because it's against your religious views.
Here's an example of something it does say in the bible: "Working on the Sabbath Whosoever doeth any work in the Sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death. Exodus 31:15" Do you agree that a person works on a Saturday they should be put to death? Because that's what the bible says.
My point is, your answer had nothing to do with the question.

[JordanAldo]

Yeah, too many men do that nowadays. Their girlfriend get pregnant and the guys like, "I'm not ready to be a father, see ya." well the girl probably is just as unprepared as the guy is, but he leaves, the woman needs to know that she's not alone. Men should never walk away from their child, wife or girlfriend just because he's not ready to be a dad, no one really is. But I'd understand if it was a toxic relationship as you said. But again, co-parenting is the best and should be the only option is a man was to walk away.

[WhereAmI]

I couldn't understand it until I met my neighbor who was a single mom.

The woman is literally bat shit crazy. Why he was stupid enough to get her preggers, I dont know. The guy should still pay child support if he wants nothing to do with them.

[cloud9vortex1234]

Yeah, there's plenty of them.

[KrakenAttackin]

Yeah, single-moms are a vermin, but they think they are heroes.

[Cdubs27]

@KrakenAttackin some of them are vermin (minority), true. But some of them ARE heroes. If you don't believe me, than ask half the players in the NBA. That being said, the only one who can say if their parent is vermin or a hero is the child... Or social services if it's really bad.

[KrakenAttackin]

Dude, being a Captain-Save-A-Hoe will not get you laid.

All single mothers are damaged good. I will take is a step further, the most dangerous place for a child to be is in the home of a single-mother. FACT.

[SpacedCharr]

Well, people who are doing what you're saying aren't walking away from the pregnant woman as much as they're walking away from their own child. Which is wrong.

Yes, cut out the crazy babymombie as much as you can. But do stay there for the child.

The mother couldn't have made the baby without input, afterall. The responsibility is split.

[Cdubs27]

If you read the entirety of my take i say exactly that. " But when you exit her life... at this point you're not walking away from her, you're walking away from the child/baby!"

[Anonymous]

I don't care if you have to send another family member to your ex's house to collect your child once s/he is born to spend time with them so you don't have to see or talk to your ex because she's the actual spawn of the devil, it's about the kid at that point and not her. Leaving your unborn child because life got too hard, or you don't think you should "be punished" by having to still be around your ex's life, or you somehow think a kid you half helped create has nothing to do with you, shows what type of person that dad is because trust and believe, that kid is not going to be upset at the mom for your absence in their life because it is the father who walked away and didn't even care about that future child's life.

I have a few guy friends who deservedly hate their exs, but are 100% there for the kids they created in those relationships. Their love for their kids knows no bounds and that's what it should be. No kid should ever have to wonder where or who their father is and in the cases where the now single mom did nothing to provoke such an exit, they shouldn't be blamed or treated like dirt for not having a man around which a lot of people judge before they even know why she is single. Imagine how hard that is or how difficult life is walking around as that pregnant woman knowing your child will have a future without knowing or having contact with their own father. This is why there is child support.

[sagevalentineee]

First of all people should really know how to have safe sex by now. Use a fricking condom if your don't want babies. This responsibility is equal across both men and women.

Secondly, men who run away from the responsibilities as a father are cowards. The baby is as much yours as it is hers, and you owe it yourself, the child and the woman to be a part of the life you've created. However if the man was behaving responsibly and trying to make things work, but the relationship wasn't working, poor man, I'm sorry for you but you should have been more careful. He has every right to leave the relationship, however the kids are still 50% yours, and so you really should still be that part of the lives. Aka loving and contributing Father.

Finally, ladies you need to me more cautious and take care of yourself! Let's not chance fate to make thinks happen before we're ready. Have some common sense!

[KrakenAttackin]

Women need to be more MORAL. Tricking a man into getting pregnant, or committing paternity fraud (up to 5% of births) should be a CAPITAL OFFENSE, instead it is not even a crime.

[Cdubs27]

@KrakenAttackin i mean, the man could always use a condom. And if he's not trusting, bring his own condom.

[Anonymous]

This hits home for me right now because I am currently 9 months pregnant. Back in February of last year he talked about being with me and having a baby with me so naturally I was excited when I discovered in June that I'm pregnant. Everything seemed fine up until a month ago, when he decided that he's "not ready to be a dad". He already has 2 adult children. He blamed me for ruining everything, saying that I became too needy once pregnant and that turned him off. Does pregnancy make me feel more vulnerable and insecure? Yes, absolutely and when you have a partner who suddenly disappears without a word for 4-5 days every week for the past month, that's not going to help matters. That only served to make me more suspicious. I guess we're both at fault but the fact is, he chose to walk away instead of doing the responsible thing of being a dad.

[Cdubs27]

I'm sorry to hear this. Good luck , although I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mother and won't need the luck.

[Anoniemus]

Depends on the situation. There are plenty of deadbeat dads who lie and plenty of horrid women who simply reveal they want to be a solo mother. It’s a case by case basis.

[Cdubs27]

Personally if I found out than I'd tell her "I'm going to be a part of this babies life because it's not about you or me, it's about what's best for the baby." But yes, if a woman gets herself knocked up with the intent of being a solo mother. But yes, if they mother doesn't want him there than I'm not going to call him scum for leaving. I think it's safe for you to assume that that's not the scenario I'm talking about.

[madgoat]

Yeah, I don't think it's that black and white.
She is often the gateway to the child. He's going to have to deal with her to be in the child's life. That's a decision the guy is going to have to make.
So while reasonable people can coexist and cooperate, there are plenty of unreasonable people that will do everything in their power not to. He's going to ask himself what it's worth. In some cases, it's just not. Name calling will not help that.

[BeMuse]

Not only is it not a fact

fact: a thing that is known to be consistent with objective reality and can be proven to be true with evidence.

It is bad opinion, because she had multiple options on how to prevent pregnancy and/or deal with an unexpected pregnancy. Thus it would entirely be her fault for following through with the birth since men have no legal rights to partake in those decision at the moment.

[singlehere]

It's the man's fault cuz she needs to be man enough to take care of this thing can because he's the one that knocked or whatever and he's not going to be there for this kind of f***** up if he's going to make raise that child on here on he needs to be a man and take care of that too all I want is a girl for real and then

[livingthelife19]

Children are meant to be raised by a family in the sand home. They need both mother and father.

[KrakenAttackin]

Yes.

[KrakenAttackin]

A man should be a part of his child's life, no matter what.

In the cases you describe the man probably doesn't believe the child is his (paternity fraud is epidemic with no consequences for women). Also, he knows women never "accidentally" get pregnant, it is a choice women make, which is a betrayal to the man is she says she is using birth control.

Once the child is born and IF paternity is proven, the man should step up and be a father.

[Exorcist_Rampage]

All people having sex should handle the potentiality of being parents.

[Unit1]

This is exactly what happens when neither takes the personal responsility and contraceptional measures in their own hands.

[KrakenAttackin]

What if he uses a condom and she "sperm jacks"? Check it out, it is a real thing.

[Unit1]

@KrakenAttackin I know.
A few ways to counter that is to contaminate it by putting chili sauce into the condom before discarding. or boiling it in hot water. Or flushing the condom from the inside with hot water in the shower and put some shampoo in it to contaminate it. although it seems more effort than the probability of that particular risk.

One reason why I sometimes judge single mothers.

I love vasectomy!

[KrakenAttackin]

Feminist have successfully blocked the "male pill", even though it works well. There is another device that is a small stint put under a guys balls (sounds painful at first) and it lasts for 10 years and is removable.

THIS is what we need, the ability for Men to have some control over their reproductive freedom.

[Unit1]

@KrakenAttackin source for feminists banning the "male pill"?

[KrakenAttackin]

I can't remember the exact link, but if you do a search for male reproductive rights you will find some statements by prominent feminist about blocking the male pill.

[yeolsb]

Well I would advice something like co-parenting not just walking away. In most cases men don’t even try for their kids.

[Chthou95]

And then mothers fail their sons because the dad takes off

[keithdaves]

Most men that do this kind of stuff wouldn't be a positive force in the kids life anyway because shitty men that would do that make shitty dad that being said yeolsb is right co parenting is the best option for this specific case.

[Mehzmeh]

The guy. Because, she did not make it on her own. You don't have to be with her anymore. But, don't completely walk away from her.

[Alshiku]

To become happy you need to create harmony and protect it. If your girlfriend creates harmony you will protect her. If she creates chaos you will leave her.

[KrakenAttackin]

I can't remember the last woman I met who created harmony.

[Alshiku]

@KrakenAttackin
I am a writer. If your girlfriend wants to be happy, advise her to read my book Cosmic Laws and World Domination. If she needs money, she can sell my book as a co-author.

[FriendlyEnigma]

Dumbass knows to use a condom, your kid, your responsibilities, dont be running from your kid

[Dchrls78104]

Love, Marriage, and Sex: it's important to get them in the right order.

[JennWeenink]

It’s the men’s fault because he made her miserable 😭

[confusedaf04]

No it depends on the case

[Anonymous]

She chose HIM over many decent guys no sympathy here