Falling in love platonically

lovelyhoneybones
Falling in love platonically

My entire life I've always thought "true love" was between lovers because that's what I, along with a lot of people have been taught. You fall in love with people you want to make-out with or make love to. You fall in love with somone you want to build a house and a family with. Pretty girls with big eyes and even bigger smiles. Talls guys with nice hair and witty jokes. These past three years of my life have really been eye opening to how that isn't the only case, they've changed how I look at the world and how I look at people. If I could name those years, I would call them my best friend because that's exactly who has changed my mind. She's a girl I met at my very first real job, her and I hit it off instantly. I told myself I would become friends with the next person who started at my job and she just so happened to be that person. Ever since she's come into my life, I've looked at relationships differently. Friendships. Romantic relationships. Family bonds. My best friend made me realize that there are amazing people in the world whose lives I want to be apart of and moments I want to make with them. Whose houses I want to have dinner in. She's led me to becoming friends with other people I wouldn't ever think I could. I love all of the people in my life. A lot. I think about them often and how full my chest and life feels because of them. I love learning about the small things that make them. I love listening to their laughs and how some of them quickly become dear to me like one of my favorite songs. I love learning about their significant others and their families, their cars and what they went to school for. I think about how my life is going to be impacted by these people regardless of how long they stay in my life.

They're like missing pieces to my puzzle. My friends are people that have helped me with my confidence. Been there in dark times. They're people who call me out on my bullshit. They don't allow me to be destructive because being someone's friend doesn't mean sugar coating shit. It means telling them when they're wrong. Correcting them when it's needed.

I've experienced and traveled to new places because of my friends. I've bought spur of the moment plane tickets, driven a truck twice the size of any vehicle I've ever driven, watched the sunset in locations I couldn't fathom existing. I've dipped my feet in the ocean for the first time and got sand in my shoes. I've laid on docks while staring up at stars close to midnight. I've been pulled over for a busted headlight past midnight. Gone to New York and seen my favorite music group live, which changed my life. Stayed up at night and talked for hours. And all of these moments made me fall in love with these friends.

Falling in love platonically

There have been people who have come and gone and I always try to look at it as a lesson and try to cherish and enjoy the times we've shared together. Just because their parting was messy doesn't mean you have to hate the person or forget what they meant to you. It's so easy for me now to love people, love strangers. Fall in love with my coworkers and their backgrounds and stories. I find solace and comfort in their faces and hearing their voices. Even if we don't talk very often, they're still apart of my day and I enjoy seeing them.

Falling in love platonically

This year has also made me cherish people more.

Appreciate the closeness we can have to one another.

Falling in love platonically
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Most Helpful Girls

  • CurlyGirl42
    I have never been in love with a guy but I have had amazing friendships instead :)..
    During my whole childhood and teenage years I more or less always had a best friend. We would do everything together and in periods spend every day after school fooling around. I actually think that made me not so interested in having a boyfriend, because I had that close relationships with my besties.
    But unfortunately it is difficult to have these type of friendships as an adult. Now all my good friends also have a partner, and in general they, of course, prioritise them higher than me. And I also hate the fact that it is difficult to stay friends with a romantic partner after you stop the relationship. At least I still have some contact with most of my old best friends and we can catch up now and then and feel how much we have meant to each other and together appreciate that.
    Even though I cannot have the same close relation as friends now as an adult I am luckily still often a high priority. Like I have a friend who moved to another city and she visited me 3 times this year already :) and she also prefers travelling with me over her boyfriend :D
    Is this still revelant?
    • I realized that too. I always forget that I want a boyfriend because of my friends. Friendships are harder to have as adults but I think that adds to the appreciation. I love my friends so much more when they come from another state to see me, it amazes me that I matter so much to them. I'm happy you have a friend like that too.

  • SnowyOwl
    Awwwwww giiiirlll, make a film already! It's gonna be the most wholesome screenplay ever! "People, and why I love them"... I agree with everything you say: the people in our lives enrich our experiences, always. I'm an introvert, but that does not mena I'm antisocial. I'm just differently social. And one of my favourite things about being human is connecting with other humans, getting to really really know them. And share quality experiences like those you described. Life is so much better because of experiences like that. And I'm glad at least that covid has proven that to a lot of people, and that we shouldn't take anything for granted.
    I'm also really happy that I see you realized one of the fundamental truths.. That is, Love is easy ♡
    Love comes naturally, when we open up ourselves.
    Loving people actually, in my opinion, way easier than liking people sometimes xD
    Because Love, the real kind, is unconditional (:
    Is this still revelant?
    • I find myself loving people far too easily and it's beautiful! Glad you enjoyed mytake.

Most Helpful Guys

  • TinCanJim
    Man... you are one lucky S O B... I wish I could find that kind of love in myself.
    Oh, by the way, if this enlightenment is from a beautiful woman that you consider to be your best friend... love her, cherish her, adore her and for the love of god, marry her.
    Is this still revelant?
  • stalkr
    I didn't realize the value of friends until things got complicated with my girlfriend. All of a sudden there was no one beside me and no one share my feelings with. Your article just mad me realize the value of friendship. thanks
    Is this still revelant?
    • I'm very happy it could help you! I hope things are better with your girlfriend.

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What Girls & Guys Said

514
  • OlderAndWiser
    Romantic love is certainly not a substitute for good friends when those friends are truly good friends. But good friendship is also not a substitute for romantic love. Of course, those two are not mutually exclusive, and life is best when you find the right balance between friendship and romantic love.
  • CoolGuyJoe
    Your post came in to my life at the perfect moment. I've been struggling with what I should and shouldn't do with the people I know and want to get to know better. I held this belief that said I should always have some sort of purpose. But that purpose didn't revolve around simply enjoying the closeness we can all have if we just look for it. Thank you for writing this.
    • I'm happy my post was able to find you when you needed it. I hope all goes well for you in life and in your relationships!

  • little_bird1
    This is so true! In the world where everything seems to revolve around romance, sex and money, people often forget the value of friendships. Platonic love is, in my opinion, the strongest bond that can exist. I have three best friends since teenage days and it's remarkable how we still keep that bond strong without even trying. Some of them are married with kids, but nothing changed! And I can with utmost certainty say that it never will. Love towards family is by blood, it is unconditional because of that and you don't really have a choice in the matter. Partner love is based on emotions and conditions (easily to break by cheating or whatever). But friendship love, now that's something entirely different and magical. Especially when you all grow up into very good people and your relationship is just flowing in the right way all the time. My friends are my soulmates. Yes we argue sometimes, but we work it out. And there is nothing sadder then fighting with a best friend, more then fighting with a partner. My brother moved away and lost contact with his best friends 10 years ago and he is still sad about it. My dad also lost his best friend and he is also still not over it, even after 25 years! Just the fact that it's so hard to get over the pain of losing a bestie tells everything. And it's hard to replace. Yes you can meet new people and become good friends, but nothing can compare to that one (or few), and never will. It's what sticks with you til the very old age, my grandma of 97 years still talks about her besties that passed away with tears in her eyes. She is also close to end and I notice she talks more and more about them as she is reaching the end herself; not about my grandpa who also passed away, not about us or my mom - about her besties and stuff they did together! It's amazing.
    When life gets hard and nothing is right, I just think of my friends and how lucky I am to have them. Some people have amazing partners, kids, marriages, careers, etc. etc. but they don't have best friends and I feel sorry for them because they don't know they are missing out. Even on the revolutionary side, humans are not loners. They are meant to live in herds (groups), just like animals. It is as important as reproduction.
  • ohshee
    Very beautiful and that's hard to find so hang on to it remember your body is your TEMPLE it houses your soul your spirit. And the real you your energy it is your teacher your guide thst gut feeling you get or the goose bumps you get when something beautiful clicks with in is your energy. Thsts what your true friend fall in love with you and you grow together energy falls in love with energy
  • RingOfFire
    There are many kinds of love. But romantic love requires a sexual union to be complete. I don't believe you can have that kind of love with someone without it. It completes the process. Without sex, it may be "real" love, but it is not the same kind of love.
  • Tom_Steve
    I had lots of them when I was in high school... But while that they didn't love me and just I loved them, the feeling of these "loves" are still make me smile...
    • That's the thing about love though, some times it's one sided but don't ever let that stop you from loving. You're not wrong to love someone.

  • 1stranger
    Oww.. You're great. I admire your Take. Thank you..
  • Cats_2
    This was really touching. Thank you for sharing it!

    I have the fortune of having an amazing girlfriend. But its the friends I've had for years that truly have been there for me.

    On an old GaG account I had, I wrote a MyTake on the value of finding just 1 friend. Now, whenever I go somewhere I make it my goal to find one friend because just one person can make you feel loved and cared for. Whether that's at a new job, new city, on a trip, or just at some dinner party.

    Thanks again for the article and I hope your friends continue to bless you with happiness!
  • dadayvitos
    I hope that I will find someone love me platonically
    • I'm sure you will. There are plenty of people that love you. Sometimes people aren't too up front about their feelings but watch actions. It's how people always come through for you.

  • IhateStupidPpl
    Huh? “Your lover should Be someone u wanna make love to kiss and cuddle and stuff”

    Um yeah, that’s what love is... if ur choosing a partner, it should be someone ur attracted to that u wanna do that stuff with,


    If ur tryna choose a romantic partner as someone u don’t want to do that with ad you’re not atttracted to them... that’s jus weird... it’s like tryna date ur mom or brother... stop that... stay friends with the person sure but don’t say u true love them, that’s wrong

    U will always wanna do intimate stuff with someone u truley love
  • Alexalex92
    That's a really nice post! Amd you're lucky!
    Wish we could be friends too :)
  • Liam_Hayden
    "Fall in love" is a misnomer that is more properly "lust" "infatuation" or "codependency."
    • Depends on how you look at it. That just might be your experience. I choose to feel love that way I'm not confused by LUST and LOVE. Those are too different things. You can very much so fall in love. Most people do, some don't.

  • locutus9999
    I don't believe in Platonic love..., I believe in Aristotelic Love
    • What is that?

    • is a sort of a pun... but plato focus morenin the ideas.. an aristoteles in what is here. So basicaly i dont care in the love that could be.. i care in the one that is.

  • coolhandroo
    That was a pleasure to read. Thanks
  • Ano_nymuso
    Thats nice
  • Thanks. Good reminder of what love should be.
  • msc545
    Thanks - very interesting!!
  • Anonymous
    As I said, speak to spoken to, dirt!
    • Broseph, you have problems. You're a stalker. Like I said, at least say this without anon so I know who you are.

  • Anonymous
    If it was for the support I’ve gotten from my true friends I’m pretty sure I would of checked out a long time ago.

    But we are all men who are getting older. We are EXPECTED to be independent and financially secure. We are expected to take responsibility. We have to put work and personal agency in front of social connections. We have to be self reliant. No one respects a man, especially a man past 30 who doesn’t have his shit together. No one is going to come “save” a man in this position. Especially a woman.

    Most of my old friends are married, have kids or blurred out into obscurity. I’ve tried to reaching out to a few to no avail. However the few close ones I have left I do contact. But it takes much more effort nowadays.
    • Life does get in the way the older you get, it just changes how friendships work that doesn't mean you guys value each other any less and it makes seeing them all that much sweeter. I hope you keep all of your close friendships and figure out the ones that are drifting.

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