Having your heart broken can create serious feelings that meant to shield you from feeling bad. It's our emotional defense mechanism, much like how scabbing happens over a cut. We have emotional defenses as well. If you can identify this with a clear mind, you may understand that your feelings are valid for now - but don't make it part of how you'll feel for the rest of your life.
Granted, you may swear off a certain type of person, or you'll give yourself a sabbatical of however long you need, but to say to yourself "I'm never doing this again" meaning, you give up on love and relationships really isn't fair to yourself.
Crummy people can make you think everyone is out to hurt you, and that simply isn't true. It's the emotional defenses working. If you come up with emotional conspiracies that make sense for the moment, it can lead to worse feelings later on.
Here are some tips to stay on track so that your feelings about relationships will not govern how you feel overall.
1. Don't give the last person, or the last however many people so much power. If the last guy/girl treated you badly, why should they be the reason you think "all" men/women behave in that way. There are many people who would be offended by this and you'd never know it, particularly the future person you will fall in love with. Somewhere out there, they are wondering where you are too, feeling similar feelings, hoping someone won't hurt them. Think that one day they'll find you (or you'll find them), that will put these beliefs to rest.
2. If you can have a crush on a celebrity, you can have a crush on someone in real life and turn it in to more. You already have the prototype feelings to start something with someone. You may be disappointed with what's happened to you, but feelings you have toward a crush just proves you are still alive and capable of loving. Your crush may not be attainable, but exercising those feelings quashes the belief that you can't feel anything for anyone.
3. Focus on you and what makes you happy. Reliving how angry you feel from being hurt leaves little room for finding happiness. If happiness means playing video games with friends, then do it. If it means walking your dog, then do that. Having that toxic person out of your life now gives you room to do other things. Replacing that person with new feelings of anger for them isn't productive. Remember how you felt before you knew they even existed. Find what burns the fire in the belly for you, and leave this person and your feelings for them in the past. It may take time, but they don't deserve to be the person who controls how you feel every day, especially now that they're not in your life anymore.
4. Learn new relationship skills. Every relationship improves your own experiences. Things you didn't know before, you do now. I'm not talking about how to identify a toxic partner, I'm talking about you and how you respond to good and bad in relationships. What didn't work in a previous relationship should be viewed as good learning experience. If you've decided that arguing through text messages made you feel awful, then you've learned that the next time someone tries to bait you into an argument over text, you've learned to text back: "I'm not texting with you about this. We'll talk about it when I get home." All of the things you've learned about yourself and improve upon make you a better partner in your next relationship. The same goes for your future partner. Their setbacks were also things they've learned so that they'll be a better partner when you show up.
5. If the opposite sex angers you, look to your parents/siblings and friends to reinforce that there are good people. If you're heart was broken, even more than once, and you're now angry at all women, look to your mother, sister, or female friends to remind you that there are good women in the world. If you are angry with men, do the same with your father, brother, and male friends. You know good men/women all around you, so don't discredit them. The person you end up later on with is right now someone's best friend, favourite sibling, or cherished son or daughter.
You: you are a man or woman yourself and would not like to be labeled or hated simply because someone else had a bad experience. Be the representation of the good in your gender.
Give your heart the time it needs to heal, but don't lose your head. I say this because I too, was once perpetually single and had my doubts, not thinking that one day I'd meet anyone who would be good for me, but it did happen, just as it happens to almost all of us. :)
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