Our first holiday as a couple (secret relationship at 19)

Anonymous

Disclaimer: I am not encouraging anyone to keep secrets from their family without having very valid reasons for doing so.

I am simply trying to tell you how you can go about having a secret relationship if you're not ready to tell your family yet.

Two days ago, my secret boyfriend invited me to join him on a holiday that would take us pretty far away.

This then turned into a double date holiday with his best friend and his girlfriend. I'll include more details below in case you're interested in specifics.

I can't wait to go away for a few days and since I know that some people can't imagine lying to their family this long, I wanted to share how I'm going about this.

keeping a secret is hard - Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash
keeping a secret is hard - Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

#1 Don't share your plans with anyone you know

Don't tell anyone what you've got planned.

I love my family, but I always knew that living on my own would mean that I won't disclose as much information to them as they may like.

I won't tell my friends about this either, mainly because they're already suspicious and I couldn't handle more criticism from them concerning my boyfriend.

I have important appointments right before I'll go, so I'l try to wrap those up, get everything handled and then we're off anyways.

#2 Make sure you have a story and an alternative story

Essentially, you always have to be prepared to tell your parents.

This does not mean that you have to tell them, it just means that you have to keep scenarios in mind where they would find out about the two of you dating.

#3 Know how to turn any situation into an advantage

No matter what you're confronted with, you need to be prepared to milk it to your advantage.

An example for this would be giving off the impression that you are doing something for yourself or others while you're really enjoying the secret company of your boyfriend.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Details on my boyfriend's best friend and his girlfriend

First off, I don't enjoy the company of my boyfriend's best friend because he's a very dirty person (doesn't even brush his teeth).

Still, he's taking his girlfriend of 2 years on holiday for the first time. I'm a little worried it'll break them up - apparently, he has very gross "bathroom habits" (direct quote) and they've never spent more than one night together, so this will be a big test for them.

His girlfriend is only coming with us to take pictures for Instagram and I'm pretty sure she thinks he'll propose or make some other big gesture. She's about as obvious a golddigger as they come, it's painful to watch.

I think this is what the girlfriend thinks well be doing together, but I have to lay low!
I think this is what the girlfriend thinks we'll be doing together, but I have to lay low!

The thing is, I already planned what I want to do with my boyfriend and I definitely won't let my boyfriend's best friend steal my ideas to impress his girlfriend.

That's why I'd prefer to be alone for a while and to only really do stuff together in the evenings, but we'll see.

Details on our secret little getaway

I don't want to reveal too much, but maybe you can guess the destination, so let's see.

The place we're going to offers a lot of different activities.

It's situated in a conservative country that is often on the news.

My boyfriend wanted to book a huge suite for the two of us and honestly, lying to my family is hard, but I'll be living the good life for a few days so it's worth it!

I can't wait to go away and am so happy to have someone this amazing by my side to do it with.

Our first holiday as a couple (secret relationship at 19)
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Kas19
    A few things, I come from a toxic family but I don't like hiding where I'm going from everyone. I hope you at least let someone know that you went to a different country incase anything happened.

    Second, don't go on vacation with people you dislike, or are going to talk shit about.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      I will let people know. I'm not stupid, I just don't want to face my family yet.

      I'm not talking shit about anyone, I just feel that my boyfriend's best friend's girlfriend doesn't genuinely like her boyfriend, that's all.

    • Kas19

      Gotcha, I've dealt with toxic family so I know how it goes. As long as y'all stay safe and enjoy yourselves.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, we'll stay safe of course! I've thought about having him meet my family a lot lately but I don't think that would be a good idea right now.

    • Show All
  • VenusXO
    So why are you lying/keeping this from your family? Don't you think it's unsafe to leave the country without telling anyone? But good luck, I guess. Have fun and don't die
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      My family has been emotionally toxic and abusive in the past and in the present. I don't feel comfortable revealing the information that I'm in a relationship just yet.
      I don't consider this unsafe, no, because I will take precautions before I leave.
      I don't see why I'd die.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • girlintroubles
    So I've been there where you are. I didn't tell my fam but yes to a couple of friends, why? Cuz u never know if things can go wrong. In my experience and with how evil the world is, you should always think a bit of the worse on people to protect yourself. So please be safe
    • Anonymous

      I will, no worries :)
      Thanks for sharing your experience

    • Anonymous

      Update: we went, loved it, everything was great. Returned weeks ago, happy and healthy, no COVID! Literally the best choice I've made all year. Amazing for my mental health and my relationship.

  • Bee-Hatch
    Really long, didn't read most of it. Don't you think it's a bit foolish planning a holiday in the middle of a pandemic, when the general advice is don't go travelling so you stay safe and don't potentially spread infection
    • Anonymous

      We're visiting a country that cares a lot about Covid-19, more so than the United States for example.
      We're both from a country that has been hit very hard by the pandemic from the start and that has ensured its inhabitants stay inside most of the time.

      I've been through three lockdowns. I haven't gone on holiday. I haven't left the house in as much as a month at a time.

      I think I deserve this, especially because we'll get tested before and after going, self-quarantine, wear a mask at all times and so on.

      I don't have ANY personal contacts right now, I haven't seen my family in 6 months. Please don't judge others unless you think you're above everyone else.

    • Bee-Hatch

      I live in the UK where we've had 3 lockdowns. I don't think I'm above anyone. I don't think anyone deserves anything. And I still think it's foolish. But it's your life.

    • Anonymous

      Alright then. I don't have any family or friends I could infect with and like I said, I'll self-quarantine.

  • I would never have to do any of this, I can go many months without ever seeing my family and this was pre-covid. I could have an entire trip with someone and no one would ever know I even left the country, unless I happened to call up someone and tell them about it.

    I went on a cruise 4 years ago that many family members don't even know I went on, helps when you have busy family members who claim they care but they just don't make the time.
    • Anonymous

      I get that and I think it'll be that way with us in the future.
      But I'm a lot younger, so naturally, they care about my wellbeing more than they would if I was in my 40s.

    • Very true, I'd be worried if my 19 year old daughter was going to some country where women get kidnapped and forced into sexual slavery.

      Even so, good luck.

    • Anonymous

      Update: we went, loved it, everything was great. Returned weeks ago, happy and healthy, no COVID! Literally the best choice I've made all year. Amazing for my mental health and my relationship.

    • Show All
  • I think it’s nice you are having a good time your ‘secret boyfriend’.

    But with this MyTake post, I don’t think you should influence other people to keep secrets from their family member. About sneaking off with a ‘secret boyfriend’ in a different country.

    People should put their safety first and let close family and friends know who they are seeing and where they are traveling too.
    • Anonymous

      I'm sorry if it came off as me trying to influence others into sneaking off.

      I grew up in an emotionally toxic household, getting away from that was an important step for my personal development.

      Throughout the years, I've learned that for my own sanity, it's better to keep a chunk of my life stashed away from my parents.
      I introduced them to my then-boyfriend, told them he was just a friend, and despite breaking up with him and completely cutting the life line I had to him two months later, they're STILL asking about that boy THREE YEARS after.

      They met him once.
      I can't deal with "you shouldn't be with him because..."

      I understand that this is not for everyone, but I think it's healthy for me.

  • I don't get either why people feel the need to announce or tell their parents, that they have found a girlfriend/boyfriend. In my opinion this is asking for trouble until the moment you can fully sustain yourself and finance your own living.

    It's really no one else's business. Otherwise might as well be dictated what hobbies you can have, what jobs you are allowed to work, what favorite colors you are permitted to have and what kind of music you are allowed to listen to.
    • Anonymous

      Yeah, I get that.

  • Finchie40
    My question is why do you have a secret boyfriend? Are your parents that strict? But honestly you should tell someone that you are leaving the country just to be safe in case something tragic happens , Do you have a best friend you can tell to keep it a secret? You didn’t explain why you have a secret boyfriend so it’s kind of hard to really give an honest answer on this , Also what did you tell your parents about you not being home for a few days?
    • Anonymous

      My parents really are that strict.
      I will tell someone, don't worry.
      I have my reasons, sorry for not being willing to share everything on here, but just know I'd face literal hell if my parents found out right now.

      I've brought everything in order; to a point where I could deal with them finding out. Still, I'd be able to deal with it somehow.

  • Alyssa11
    I’m surprised he has a girlfriend of two years who wants to get married when he can’t even be bothered to brush his teeth!
    • Finchie40

      LOL I was thinking the same thing , like what the hell Does she kiss him with that dirty mouth? Fucking Fowl

    • Anonymous

      @Finchie40 I know it's bad - he showers and brushed his teeth before they see each other, so she doesn't know about this bad hygiene.

  • ohshee
    I think it's cool it would be fun and would be better fun if u were out in the open with it ,, it's none of my business but I can tell you this the world is changing the world has changed and when you travel you never know what is going to happen anything could happen it might not even happen to you what happens if something happened to your parents like I said you're 19 you can do what you want to do but I think it's really cool is there a lot of people here you don't even know you but they're just trying to give you some insight things do go wrong I hope you take nothing but positive from all these answers that you were getting because they're just people who care
    • Anonymous

      Thank you for sharing your response here.
      I didn't take offense at the answers I got, nobody knows me or my family in real life, so it's fine, don't worry.
      I'll obviously take my precautions.
      If my parents got Covid-19 right now, I couldn't visit them. It doesn't matter whether I'm at home or on holiday, I wouldn't want to (risk of infection) and I wouldn't be able to either.
      I think these times have taught me what it's like to be afraid of life in general all the time and that we need to let go of those fears every once in a while to experience true freedom.
      Of course, this DOES NOT mean that I will expose anyone to the risk of getting Covid-19. Like I already mentioned in my replies here, I am very cautious.

    • ohshee

      Sorry to hear about your parents yeah I caught myself being a hypocrite because I left home when I'm 16 and 1/2 I did a lot of crazy stuff I mean I did much crazier stuff than that but most of the people that answered your post I think that the same vibe that I did it was just something wrong with it and everybody kind of feels afraid for you and instead of coming out and saying that a lot of them give you crap word but yeah I do something is just off about that post it was kind of just weird I'm an empath and I felt it deep so yeah just could be cool be careful can I ask you what you were taught you said it taught you what it's like to be afraid of life in general oh okay nevermind LOL I didn't know there was more to Turn the Page whether people believe it or not we've all probably had covid-19 it's a form of a cold he travels through the air so I'm sure we've all had it but I also used that to tell you how they felt about the whole idea it wanted to just talk to you and say hey be careful man the world's crazy nowadays I think that's all and to be 100% honest I would love to go do what you do but I would need to be circuit secret about it I do understand your point with your parents though well I hope you just safe and you know have fun but be safe

  • BallSlapLover
    Well I'd definitely would like to hear about your experiences.
    How did it go and all, once you return from your trip.
    • 🙄🙄

    • Hi. How was your getaway?

    • Anonymous

      Update: we went, loved it, everything was great. Returned weeks ago, happy and healthy, no COVID! Literally the best choice I've made all year. Amazing for my mental health and my relationship.

  • mstranger
    Are you financially independent? If not, I would suggest you to first start earning then you can do whatever you want don't be dependent on a man.

    Your idea is good but you need to tell your family I feel. Be brave.
  • Koalamate
    A secret holiday that's something your going look back on and love it.
    • Anonymous

      I hope so! Would love to tell my parents about it some day when we're married (or I shall forever keep my mouth shut about it)

  • Tstrbrainer
    Well on a general note, it's not healthy to lie to your family and friends when leaving the country with another person, but here it's on your family.

    If your family or friends are too toxic to understand you and your relationship, it's on them.

    Be safe and enjoy your holidays.
    I don't know, but I think I got a feeling that you are visiting my country
  • EmotionOfFear
    I admire you and your boyfriend's dedication. Just be careful, and watch your back!
    • Anonymous

      Of course I will! :)

  • ayomanwya
    I don’t know what the point of keeping a relationship a secret is but I guess everything is done for a reason
  • UnknownGagsUser
    Thanks for your detailed
    • There are chances of you getting date rape or into human trafficking

    • Jamie05rhs

      I don't think she will listen, but thank you for telling her anyway.

    • Anonymous

      What would make you say that?

  • Anonymous
    Sounds like a set up
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