In Defense of Wanting or Taking Your Ex Back

In Defense of Wanting or Taking Your Ex Back

What if the “one that got away” truly did exist? That person that you felt a strong connection with but you were separated by an estrangement, an untimely move, or just different stages of maturity where you both were not able to resolve conflict? We have heard it all too well-that common and well meaning idiom, “They are your ex for a reason. Just move on.”

This wisdom comes from people who have truly had their hearts broken. It comes from a group of individuals who (in their torment) want what is best for you. Many of these people have been hurt by their exes. Still, is this true of all of the exes you ever date?

We have a problem in our society and dating apps have played a major role. The problem is hookup culture-but it is not what you think. The dating world these days is full of pairing couples who no longer view conflict and vulnerability in relationships as something to build on and have growth.

The reason why more people don’t get back with their ex after a breakup is because of the abundance mentality of hookup culture. It is the idea that the “better” person is one new swipe on a dating site away. For this reason, people are less inclined to accept and work through flaws in relationships. So they dont come back.

Yes, the breakup happened for a reason. But maybe it is best to truly consider what the reason was and look inward and reflect the circumstances that led to the separation. Find self discovery and growth. In doing so, we should not shame people who come to realize that imperfections are fixable.

There is no such thing as an ordinary love story. It is a myth that the best match for you will just feel “easy”. Perhaps you need to be challenged to be a better person? Person the differences of your personalities molded together are dual strengths the compliment flaws in each partner over a lifetime? Perhaps passion, reconciliation, and forgiveness IS your love story.

In Defense of Wanting or Taking Your Ex Back
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Most Helpful Guys

  • MrWolf
    The problem is that over dating apps or so said social apps people can really hide who they are in fact.

    Indeed they are a real problem and not such a solution.

    It used to be easy with dating you meet girl A get to know her and so so on. Even if it went sideways after a little time and recollection and thinking trying to improve said flaws you go back together yet to fail again. Not always but most cases ends really bad for both parties involved.

    Now with dating apps it's an easy picking didn't work okey next one and soo on.

    But once the damage is being done sometimes you don't understand trough how much pain you are going just to make it work and that letting go is the best option.

    Been there done that a thousand times. You improve adapt and overcome just to live trough that hell and pain over and over. Until you actually learn your lesson that people don't change over one night.

    Sure there might be the one that got away i admit i lost one before many years but doesn't matter anymore as i did find true love i believe it is for what it is indeed.

    But as we can't see in the future we can't be 100% sure.

    Yet is best to enjoy and cherish what you have now.

    Then chasing over ghosts of the past.

    I say let people make their own choices in life wether for better or worse is their own life and their own personal decisions.

    Because what we know and can pass on as an example may not work for everyone.

    So as i agree with this yet i disagree.

    Because the lives we live are so much the same yet so different.

    And one thing is sure people hold onto grudges and what you chase may bite you by the neck.

    It's the way society chose to evolve so may as well see where it goes next.
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  • Twalli
    They are your ex for a reason. The question is: what is that reason? It won't disappear if you get back together. If it's irrevocable differences, a break won't fix those. My sister broke up with her (unofficial) fiancé because he had issues advocating for her with his mother. Meanwhile she was willing to sacrifice to make him happy.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • talulahbee
    I don't think it's hook up culture or apps, or anything that deep and meaningful. Some people you get on with or are open to dating again, some people you aren't... Moving from person to person, or back to an ex, isn't really new, the change in dating style started to shift when women were seen less as property and have more choice with who they choose to date or not, or if they even want to get married. My friend at school want to find a boyfriend not just hook up. When single they want to have fun. I have friends who have found long term boyfriend or girlfriend from Tinder etc... Countries with arranged marriages also have dating apps available and they largely still stick to tradition... I don't know, it's a complicated topic with a ton of different causes and reasons that go beyond simply availability and sweeping left or right in my opinion.
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  • jessacat83
    I don't think any religious can be compared to any other. There are exes I would try again with & ones that I wouldn't have coffee with.
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What Girls & Guys Said

  • t-8900
    As big as the world is I not only would not take back an ex but I would travel to find a whole new circle of females to try ton increase my options and thus odds of finding a woman to settle down with. The days of meeting a girl in your home town and settling down seems to no longer be the norm. Western women like to travel and play around with all sorts of men and go clubbing and are very self absorbed today. All of my exes were from the states but that's changing. As I travelled to Latin America I realized how lost our society in the USA was and I honestly dont see a good future/outcome for the future of it based on the people and mentality.

    You can still find plenty of girls in Latin America who will not give you sex until you propose and have met their parents and family. That's the kind of women I am into. And as a result I've never found a more committed partner to me. Not one American girl I know could even find the self control to wait a few weeks into a relationship and ended up cheating on me. I'm sure there are still good American women out there somewhere. But I certainly haven't found any. I mean I've had girls offer me BJs on a first date (which I instantly would decline). Thank God! Because now I can run away and not lock lips with a woman like that. YIKES!
  • legalboxers
    We feel comfortable with our ex's, we still love them. We can smell their hair when we close our eyes. We all can sum it to this: Im way old school...
  • Zealashton
    anime. teaching life lessons
  • sorry, but an Ex is an Ex for a reason. Never forget that.
  • Ilickvulvas
    There is no defense

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