What if the “one that got away” truly did exist? That person that you felt a strong connection with but you were separated by an estrangement, an untimely move, or just different stages of maturity where you both were not able to resolve conflict? We have heard it all too well-that common and well meaning idiom, “They are your ex for a reason. Just move on.”
This wisdom comes from people who have truly had their hearts broken. It comes from a group of individuals who (in their torment) want what is best for you. Many of these people have been hurt by their exes. Still, is this true of all of the exes you ever date?
We have a problem in our society and dating apps have played a major role. The problem is hookup culture-but it is not what you think. The dating world these days is full of pairing couples who no longer view conflict and vulnerability in relationships as something to build on and have growth.
The reason why more people don’t get back with their ex after a breakup is because of the abundance mentality of hookup culture. It is the idea that the “better” person is one new swipe on a dating site away. For this reason, people are less inclined to accept and work through flaws in relationships. So they dont come back.
Yes, the breakup happened for a reason. But maybe it is best to truly consider what the reason was and look inward and reflect the circumstances that led to the separation. Find self discovery and growth. In doing so, we should not shame people who come to realize that imperfections are fixable.
There is no such thing as an ordinary love story. It is a myth that the best match for you will just feel “easy”. Perhaps you need to be challenged to be a better person? Person the differences of your personalities molded together are dual strengths the compliment flaws in each partner over a lifetime? Perhaps passion, reconciliation, and forgiveness IS your love story.