How to Win Your Ex Back if it is Meant to Be

1. Go no contact

In order for your Ex to come back to you they first must have to miss you first. Distance does not heal all wounds but it does make the heart grow fonder. Do not message them. Do not text them. Do not email them. Do not call them. No matter how much you miss them. Do not contact them.

2. Play it cool

Do not make any drastic moves. Do not post pictures to make them jealous. I can promise you that after they break up with you they will be stalking your profile even if they were mad at you. Give yourself dignity, grace, and respect! Relax!

3. No drama

Your Ex will begin to do things to spark some kind of emotion from you because they are going through a whirlwind of emotions for dumping you. All these things are actions to try to get over remorse and pain. It also might be a sign that they are still not over you. It basically might be a sign that playing it cool is working. Do nothing. Continue with your life. Let them continue doubting their decision.

4. Keep it classy, keep it polite

When you are trying to get your Ex back you are trying to rekindle the warm feelings that were once lost. What you must do is to try your best to ensure that all interactions that you have with your Ex are positive. Be warm and friendly. Keep contact short.

5. Spark jealousy with the appearance of moving on

Make yourself less available. Find a new hobby. Look and appear busy. Make your life appear exciting. Date too!

5. Transform yourself

You must find out what went wrong in the relationship. Find out what they did wrong to be able to communicate what your needs are. Find out what you did wrong and change who you are. Have you ever imagined what it would be like to have sex with a person you once dated again? Now..imagine you see that person a year later after theyve gone to the gym and they have a nice toned body.

6. Imagine

Become the picture of that person you want to be. Have an answer that is more than just "nothing much is new..."


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Apope16 is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is great stuff and while I hope robot need it, from past experiences, it absolutely is the best course of action.
    Nice job!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Very good advice actually, a breath of fresh air from the less reputable "How to win your Ex back" articles I've seen here.

    A few things I might add:

    To #3: Chances are your ex will go on the rebound, usually with a guy who was hovering around when you were still together. 9/10 it will NOT work out, and after an emotional 2-3, he'll get dumped.

    Don't even think about this if/when it happens, it'll only help her realise that the grass isn't as green as she thought.


    The aim of No Contact (NC) is to WAIT TILL SHE GETS IN TOUCH WITH YOU - she has to make the initiative for this to work.

    It took my ex 8 months of NC and even though my feelings had long gone by then, it showed me the power NC has.

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    • Great point! I had what you said for #3 but i had reached my character limit.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Are you in la-la land? You can't win something you doesn't want you getting it. If they lost all feelings for you and have moved on OR made the decision to move on. All of this manipulative techniques your posting won't work. Maybe for naive and easy people. But not emotionally strong and mature people.

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    • You make a good point. But I will say that I have known many situations where an ex would come back but the person who was dumped and of the situation badly and destroyed any chance of that happening. Just because someone breaks up doesn't mean that they can't work it out get back together it happens. It doesn't happen a lot but it does happen. The problem is that people do things to ruin her chances and that is what I'm trying to help other people with.

    • Show All
    • I do give advice for closure. And somethings are not meant for others to understand. You don't chase people who aren't good for you. They're separated from you for a reason. And it doesn't have anything to do with wrong timing. Everything is done on its proper course, the fact is we tend to mess it up and our choices is what causes the problem.

    • Just because these things haven't worked for you doesn't mean they don't work for other people. Everyone has a different situation. I see couples getting back together all the time sometimes people mess up!
      If you see things in black in white like you clearly are you'll miss a lot of things in life.

      My parents are a prime example. They split up for a year and then worked things out.
      Thank goodness they did!

  • I always play it cool even i don't want him back

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What Guys Said 6

  • Nice... I totally agree! Good MyTake.

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  • not bad

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  • Cool take, except that is how you give them the middle finger, not win them back.
    You already invested in them everything you could, somebody who doesn't see that doesn't deserve a second chance.

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  • Doesn't this depend on what either of you did? If you cheated on her then slim chance she'll miss you. If she cheated on you, then you really have no standards

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    • Its just a guide for those interested. You are correct. Cheating and forgiveness is a good point.. but that depends on the parties involved. Cheating is also subjective. Is it intercourse, flirting, winking, avatar sex?

      I think that the nature of the relationship and what it means also is a consideration. I think someone would act differently if they were in a marriage with children compared to weather they were just dating someone in college. It really just depends.

      I used to judge people who stayed with someone after cheating. Now after a 2 year relationship, my perspective is more nuanced. It depends.

      Good points!

  • Actually that wasn't bad

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  • I see all these posts about EXes... Why does my ex not like me? This and that about an ex... should we get back together...

    An EX means.. in the past. In my life, after any break up, an EX is out of my mind. I move on almost immediately and never think of, try to contact, check up on, etc...

    Breakups happen for a reason...

    I'm not talking about someone who moved away... I'm talking about relationships that ended due to cheating, abuse, incompatibility and such...

    Who CARES about an EX? Who cares about what an EX thinks of them?

    Then "breaks"... what's that all about? all this is is an admission you can't commit in a relationship. Taking a vacation from a relationship isn't going to fly.

    ALSO... getting back together after a breakup.. or chasing someone to get back together... sorry folks, the same issues are gonna be there.

    This "closure" What's that about? No such thing... So what? It's over.. there is your closure.

    Move on... where you found one guy/gal, there will always be more.

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    • Some exes work out because it was wrong timing and other things. Talk to the community, there are stories have happily married couples who were once exes years ago. Love is complex. Having an ex workout is rare... but people change.

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