Please not: This is ONLY for Dumpees (Those who have been dumped)!
If you still care, there's always hope.
Break ups are hard, that's one thing everyone (from both sides) can agree on, but letting go is probably the hardest step. We've all been there!
However from the point-of-impact (i.e the break up itself) you can take one of two paths: either you move on completely with an aim to date new people, or you move on with an aim to get that special someone back.
"Please baby, don't leave me, I've got so much to prove, so much to give boo boo! *sobs uncontrollably* ..." (Some phaggot, cerca 2015)
Things you should consider before trying to get back with an ex.
- What went wrong? "Bitch, you dun' bad" -- Did you break their trust, did you cheat on them, did you hurt them emotionally/physically? Did you make them mad? These individually can have an effect on your chances of reconciliation.
- What was there excuse? "Ain't nobody got time fo' that!" --- "I'm not ready for a relationship right now", "Can we be friends?", "This is not working out" ... whatever it is, there is always hope. Unless it's blantantly obvious that it's not.
- Is it really in your best interest? Do you really think getting back with your ex is the best thing for YOU? What I've noticed is people don't think about themselves when considering getting an ex back, which is quite worrying.
Must dos and Must not dos. (IMPORTANT)
- Must do #1: When you get the "We need to talk", or when your S/O drops the breakup "bombshell", you need to accept it. You need to realise that they are human beings, that they have feelings, that they have brains and have thought this through. You need to listen to them, you need to WALK AWAY with you head held high!
- Must NOT do #1: Beg, plead, cry or even reason with the Dumper. Doing so makes you seem insecure and desparate. Come on, you wouldn't want to comfront a crying mess!
- Must do #2: Cut ALL contact with them, whether it's a phone contact, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram or Twitter, you need to block them ASAP.
- Must NOT do #2: Contact them, inundate them with texts/calls/FaceBook messages/Instagram likes/etc ...
- Must do #3: Break contact with their friends (unless mutual), avoid them like the plague and DON'T ask them for information. It's pointless.
- Must NOT do #3: Ask their friends for "information". Please, PLEASE don't! All they'll do is let your ex know and it'll get embarrassing - trust me, I've been there.
- Must do #4: Avoid your ex and places they go often. Self-explanatory.
- Must NOT do #4: Stalk them. This is weird, against the law and will inevitably result in a restraining order. Puff! There goes all your chances!
Getting them back
- Stage 1: After you've listened to them break up with you, you need to beging with No Contact (NC). NC is when you stop contacting them altogether. Go do things on your own, go learn more about yourself, start a new hobbie, go spend time with friends and family, make yourself look good.
- Stage 2: After a MINIMUM of 30 days(!!) Get into contact with your ex. If it's by text or phone, make it short and sweet: something like "Heard you went to (place), was it any good?" ... that example was quite curcumstantial, but hopefully you get the point.
- Stage 3 (If they respond): Wait 2-3 days before responding. Everytime you send her something and she responds wait 2-3 DAYS!!
- Stage 3 (If they don't respond): Go back to Stage 2 and repeat.
- Stage 4: You've been having some good back-to-back text conversations over a MINIMUM of 3 weeks. Now it's time for your next plan of action. Invite her to do something, but DON'T CALL IT A DATE. Just say "as friends". Do not attempt to kiss them or get intimate with them, but act happy, charm them, woo them.
- Stage 5: Give it 2 weeks after your "date", but this time invite them on a date. Be clear that it's a date, but DO NOT initiate kissing, if they do, go with it. If they refuse to meet up, go back to Stage 2 and repeat!
- Stage 6: If everything is going well, you want to break contact for 2 weeks again. It's likely however that they'll contact you first.
- FINAL STAGE: You propose to reconcile.
Disclaimer: I do not hold responsibility for any slaps, kicks or whacks you might get during the process of "getting an ex back". Nor do I hold responsibility if the process doesn't work. If you so wish to complain that you haven't got him/her back, tough luck, you shouldn't have fucked up in the first place :/ ...