Breaking the cycle of unworthiness

Anonymous
Breaking the cycle of unworthiness

Have you ever wondered why do you keep attracting people who treat you poorly? Why are you always the friend who gives the most without receiving? Why you are always the one who cares? Why is it so hard for you to set boundaries?

Let me start by saying that you are not alone, and nothing is wrong with you. Being a caring, loving person is a super power in a world that encourages coldness. Never let your past experiences and people harden your soft heart.

We attract the people that we subconsciously think we deserve. If you subconsciously have the limiting belief that you are not worthy, you'll have people around you that will keep making you feel this way. Have you wondered why is it hard for you to say no? You think that by saying no, you'll lose that person, or they will be upset with you. But, if this is the case, then it wasn't the right person to be surrounded with, in the first place. If someone gets upset with you for having standards or boundaries, then they're the one who are not worthy of you.

But where does this belief of unworthiness come from? From childhood. If you felt like you needed to be a certain way or act a certain way for your parents or teachers to not be upset with you, then this is the root of the problem. Most of us weren't encouraged to be ourselves, but to act a certain way to be praised. We were made to believe and feel that our authentic self wasn't worthy enough for the people we looked up to the most; our parents.

This creates a cycle of people-pleasing, and abandoning our true self. Are you more afraid to be abandoned by someone else than abandoning your own self? Of course not, would be the right answer, but most of us don't feel this way deep inside.

In order to break the cycle, you have to start putting yourself first, respecting yourself and your values. And if someone doesn't appreciate or respect the real you, then they are the one who are not good enough for you. By being your true self, you'll start attracting people who love you and respect you for who you are. People who'll encourage you to have boundaries, instead of breaking them. Maybe you'll lose people in this process, but you'll find your tribe, your real family. You'll be surrounded by people with whom you don't have to wear a mask. Think of it, would you rather go through this difficult process for a couple of months then be free for the rest of your life, or keep wearing a mask, keep betraying yourself just to keep these people in your life?

You deserve the best, you are worthy, don't let anyone make you feel less than that.

Breaking the cycle of unworthiness
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