Why I believe modern day relationships need a serious overhaul

Kayla45

Hello everyone, today I'm going to be sharing my personal thoughts on how modern relationships typically go in the modern era.

Relationships can be a mixed bag
Relationships can be a mixed bag

So I'm sure anyone would be enthusiastic to be in a modern relationship, but I think it's important to stop for a moment and think about what makes relationships nowadays click. Dating has been on a downward spiral in recent years, this can be due to a variety of reasons.. but based off of what I've personally seen in my life, it appears that today's youth are slowly declining when it comes to finding that special someone, so why exactly is that?

Well for starters I think technology plays a major role in this, people are now becoming less socially accustomed to physically dating, it was only a matter of time before dating websites became a popular alternative. I'm sure many people find it much easier and less afraid to date online as opposed to real life, however I firmly believe this comes with its own caveats too. While it may be convenient for an online relationship to continue, and lots of people have found success in doing so, it does not come without its negative downsides, such as your partner not being entirely forthcoming to you, or even being dishonest about their appearance or sexuality altogether. This is just one of the many major flaws I find in today's modern society relationships.

A common lack of physical communication
A common lack of physical communication

This one piggybacks off the first one but I have to include it to make some points as well, texting a significant other is a huge way of life these days, but I can't help but see so many relationships including some of my own in the past fail, because of a general lack of physical communication because technology was in the way. I think it's quite sad to see, less often you were seeing couples out in public doing something physically with each other such as holding hands or something similar. I personally think physical communication is a vital aspect in maintaining a healthy relationship, generations in the past had no choice but to physically interact because of the lack of modern technology getting in the way.

Commitment to your partner
Commitment to your partner

Typically the average modern relationship is estimated to last between two years and nine months depending on the situation and the circumstances of the relationship in question, even as an estimate this is for lower compared to the previous generations that came before the digital age, long-term commitments do not seem to be as relevant now compared to then. This has been a common problem for a while now, with both genders at fault to varying degrees. Since the modern lifespan of relationships is at an estimated low point I think actual loving commitment plays a major role here.

Again, these are just my personal thoughts...
Again, these are just my personal thoughts...

In order to make relationships work and then modern era is going to require a huge overhaul, society has to be willing to change and make more physical engagements with their partners instead of relying on modern day technology to help them do it themselves. If people can help break out of their own social bubble like, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and simply connect with people on a more personal level, Then I think relationships can make come back in the modern era.

However it's up to those who want to make the change to help make the difference, what's the point of a digital relationship if you don't get any physical value from it? Are we really going to be stuck in the social media bubble for years, or perhaps even decades to come? Like I said it's up to you to make your own choice of what you do in your own life, but without a huge change I believe modern relationships will be doomed for unavoidable failure unless something changes in the hustle and bustle of the modern tech world.

I hope you found this post at least a little bit informative, I'm sure there's stuff that I haven't covered in this particular take that others will let me know in the comments, however these are just some of them that I found interesting, and hope each and every one of you has a great day. ✌️

Why I believe modern day relationships need a serious overhaul
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  • PositiveNote
    "I personally think physical communication is a vital aspect in maintaining a healthy relationship, generations in the past had no choice but to physically interact because of the lack of modern technology getting in the way."

    Kayla, I agree with you in all your points made. Consider this one: I firmly believe that the family unit is what teaches us how to respect the opposite sex. With the enormous loss of continuity in families these days, I believe that we have lost the "how to" of dating. Too many of us have lost it because we didn't witness a good example with our parents. Some of us have more than one set of parents and proceeded to reject the whole concept of love and a "real" relationship with the opposite sex.

    "Like I said it's up to you to make your own choice... modern relationships will be doomed for unavoidable failure unless something changes in the hustle and bustle of the modern tech world."

    Really, this remote-acquaintance society is doomed if we believe that this is how we are to build true relationships. It's too easy. Relationships on any level are work if we want to maintain them for a long time. A good relationship—on the other hand—is not usually considered work for us. "Hard work" is reserved for those we don't get along so well, but those who seem to share our values and we can understand each other well... we immediately call them friends. Out of that pool of friends that we selected from our larger list of acquaintances, we tend to gravitate to those that we "feel a spark," and we move them up to "possible companions." In the last list we now narrow it down to one or two and we press on to study that person's life for more clues.

    By the time you make the cut from the original pool of acquaintances, one's choices a frightfully skewed by judging only by looking at digits and hearing the voice. You need to be able to use all five of our senses in order to be a good judge of character—let alone make a good choice to end up with a companion for life out of it.

    If you'd like to continue the conversation, pm me. Would be a pleasure.
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    • t-8900

      "I firmly believe that the family unit is what teaches us how to respect the opposite sex. With the enormous loss of continuity in families these days, I believe that we have lost the "how to" of dating. Too many of us have lost it because we didn't witness a good example with our parents"

      Damn, this is it right here. It couldnt be any more true. Thanks for speaking truth!

    • @t-8900 It's a pity, but if you are not introduced to a loving relationship by your parents (whether that be adopted, too), and have no other example at a young age, it has the potential to set you back the rest of your life. We can overcome, but that is if a) we recognize this problem and seek to change it or b) you meet a partner who wisely coaches you through your relationship. The second solution "b" is hit and miss, but is also hard to come by because those who had a good upbringing often don't understand those who did not.

    • I feel like the only happiest rare relationships in the world on this Earth are those that began as literal true love at first sight or at first proximity meet especially unexpectedly. You lock eyes or come across a stranger absent mindedly and instantly go "holy hell, what is this I'm feeling" even if they looked average. Wow. 😃😃

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  • ohshee
    I can tell you one thing you should be 100% proud of yourself for being 24 years old and to feel what you feel and think what you think about what you do you have it together I wish every kid in your generation would have the Insight in the wisdom to even understand what you just said. I think you are 100% correct and everything you said and everything you said branches off into something else and it makes you think you should run for office I love your wisdom good job
    Like 5 People
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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • JustinTimberlegs
    It's not just dating, but relationships in general have been suffering with the rise of social media. It's harder to build a strong meaningful relationship with anyone, people barely spend time with one another. Everyone too busy wondering what others are doing, keeping up with everything, all the shows and memes and news fighting for your attention 24/7. Connection is hard to find these days, even among family members.
    Like 2 People
  • CantGetItUp
    Dating is dead here in the west. Feminism and technology killed it. These problems don’t exist in other places in the world. In Ukraine they have women who go to church to pray for a husband. Something like this would be unheard of in America. My advice to western men is find a foreign girl.
    LikeDisagree 8 People
    • Me and my boyfriend have had this exact discussion. Luckily we are more traditional so things are great for us.

    • I’m thinking of looking at the Philippines. I’ve lost faith in humanity as a whole and especially women. But what good is it to marry foreign and bring her here to be corrupted?

    • yofuknutz

      That's the elephant in the room they get corrupted when they come over here

  • DonRollins
    In America, your relationship is known by your whole community, your job, the police, everyone.

    In East Europe, our private relationships are PRIVATE and we aren't divorcing like crazy or killing each other. We handle it ourselves, most divorces don't even end up in court. Surprise Surprise.
    Like 2 People
  • bamesjond0069
    I don't think the technology is that much of an issue. The real problem is gender bending. Women are not womanly enough for men to really care about them or desire to commit to them. Men are not masculine enough for women to accept them. So neither side really even wants to date the other side more than just casual sex.
    LikeDisagree 7 People
    • 19magic

      You know I've never seen that put so nicely before but it's so true there's probably scores of men I don't go for as they're too feminine in my tastes, I've always been attracted to the power of a bloke. And although I do like to doll myself up I'm definitely not way down in the girly aspect of things.

    • @19magic yeah so its a two way street. Girls want the rarer man and are the least to catch those men eye in return... and vice versa. I laugh when some guy is feminine and he talks about his dream girl being feminine its a joke.

  • DarkWinterNights
    Some good insights, but I think it’s more far reaching than anyone wants to admit. We’ve torn down the fabric of society for a dozen different social and rights movements and that has consequences. Add technology like you mentioned and it’s a perfect storm.
    Like 1 Person
  • jgibsonian1986
    To put it simply, very few modern day relationships have healthy boundaries. Everyone rushes to marriage stages of cohabitation then wine when their sandcastle falls to the waves.
    Like 1 Person
  • VanillaSalt
    Thing is we lost the lines the genders used to draw in. Now we’re just scribbles along the page. No real order. Masculine women feminine men. Besides this the social planes changing. Women tend to want someone better then them… at least equal. College now is split 60/40 in the states in favor or women and it will be curious to see how dating continues. Not only this the rate of single mothers and failing relationships and missing fathers… this will corrode the dating landscape for generations. We’re already suffering from this now.


    The way things are now I haven’t the first clue what I need to do to date and I don’t wanna. Women seem… hard, coarse, angry. I don’t desire any such woman. Before ide consider dating in the states ide require major changes to divorce and the laws/courts tied to families. Even then I doubt ide be much interested.
    Like 3 People
  • kittycat4425
    I 100% agree, a lot of people I noticed don't have a "how we met story" besides how they meant online is something I noticed.

    I want to add that I do believe that people can meet online and be in love, but typically their stories have specifics like "we met on a gaming site a long time ago" or "she posted art online and I loved it and linked up," as opposed to a generic statement.
    Like 1 Person
  • Jayplays900
    There is no 'How to' when it comes to relationships. Everyone is different, and everyone needs to find out what's best for them.

    I personally don't like dating and find it overly stressful, so I find people who like to skip all that part and get straight into business. That doesn't mean that's how it should go, but it's what works for me.
  • Devinbyers
    They need an overhaul because everyone plays with everyone's emotions on purpose or not and most people don't actually love anyone but themselves and their immediate circle from birth and there's no trust because everyone lies "to protect you" but in the end everything gets worse
  • Grape-Soda
    Women who are not attractive with feminine traits and sound mental health have nothing to offer me. Very few modern women meet this basic criteria, 40 years ago most did.
    Like 1 Person
  • Jaysonava
    I do what I can to get physically clos to people I am dating. Distance simply doe snot work.

    I have had many physical relationships where I felt distance
  • Randalama
    As long as significant double standards are in place, relationships remain a no go. Everybody works, ever body pays for their own shit.
    Like 3 People
  • Katebfun
    Be prepared to date/marry Robots is things don't get an overhaul.
  • TheFlak38
    Just another e-thot regurgitating everything she heard from men. You can shove your advice up your ass Miss relationship expert wannabe.
    Disagree 5 People
  • captain_voidwalker
    Relationships are stupid and dysfunctional. Replace them with contracts with clear terms and conditions.
    LikeDisagree 4 People
  • JamesRandiDebates
    The modern female has made herself unfit for relationships. The modern female is worth pump and dump only.

    Never marry; never cohabitate.
    Like 1 Person
  • hi_it_is_me123
    Great take.
    In my opinion people married to marry and not because they really wanted. If societal pressure to marry and not to divorce even if you get cheated on stop , the divorce rate increase. This is happening in western countries. This is why the divorce rate is high among boomers and old millenials.
    This would happen in middleeastern/Asian countries to if divorce was not taboo. I know so many couples who just stay together because of societal pressure and many men cheat instead of divorcing which is no justification for cheating in my middleeastern (turkish) culture.
    The newer generations marry wiser in many western countries now.
    Where i live (central Europe) people ( especially women) dont prefere to be officially married but stay together with their partners for 10 years. You dont need to be officially married.
    • Wester1967

      I worked in China. Tons of failed, loveless, dead bedroom cheaters. The society is so conservative it will never change. But you can’t talk about it in public.

      Women are shamed to get married every day starting at age 18. 9 times out of 10 they enter a toxic marriage and can not divorce because of social pressure. I worked at an office with 8 eligible women in their 20s. I would seriously have married 5 of them. But they all jumped in to rapid fire marriages and by three end of 18 months , all of them were married. Maybe 1 even close to happily.

    • Wow this is so depressing

  • Shiningtempest
    @Kayla45 Sadly, I predict an overhaul for modern-day relationships is less likely to occur.
    Like 1 Person
  • llcanon
    Being that i am 65 now i find i do not like on line dating. It is not as fulfilling as it was back in the day. I believe the old fashioned way allows two people to spend more time really getting to now each other far better than by texting and conversing on line. o will say o have learned more on how things have changed by discovering different different types of relationships by being on line and some types of relationship i find distasteful. I also discovered some women think it's ok to do certain behaviors as something frowned upon back in the day. so though i have learned more being on line i still prefer the old fashioned way suits me best
    Like 1 Person
  • jimmy2
    Well it sucks lol
  • Anonymous
    Relationships are just not as appealing to men these days. I think that is the biggest reason. Men don't get as much out of relationships now than in the past and, thanks to the sexual revolution and the promiscuity of modern women, sex is easily had without the cost, risk and drama of a relationship. That's it in a nutshell.
    Like 2 People
  • Anonymous
    Why I believe modern day relationships need a serious overhaul I was pretty shocked when I saw this of all places Utah but I have detective a certain type of snobbery and I don't know if it's the work ethic or people from California moving there but if this is happening over there by the way New York was number one in California was number 10 so how did Utah wind up in the middle something really is wrong out there besides the water supply.

    Now look at her right want to go in there and Jam your dick in there right well you better think twice and that is the other problem but actually that's not so bad she's fucking insane unstable that's the problem Why I believe modern day relationships need a serious overhaul
    Disagree 2 People
  • Anonymous
    The real problem is people settle for less. 🤔
    Like 1 Person
    • And those who don’t expect too much.

    • Anonymous

      Mm-hmm. You're a smart man my friend. Be well 😋😋

  • Anonymous
    relationships are fake mostly from women
    LikeDisagree 4 People
  • Anonymous
    Trust and more Communication, Along with much effort on both partner's
    parts. Online or Offline.
    Like 1 Person
    • Anonymous

      Nicely done, girl!

    • I agree but how? In my case I have very few women I trust enough to risk marriage. Marriage itself is a trap for men. We benefit so little while the risk is 100% ours to bare. As for communication… men are women women are men children are studying anal sex the governments gone authoritarian completely ignoring what half the country wants and there’s an entire group of people that think things like #whiteprivilege #killallmen

      Everything’s broken in society. Societies even telling us the nuclear families over rated and shaming women for being traditional and men for being men. There’s too much stress going on and neither women or men have any interest in compromising. Nobody had any trust for anyone else men women or the government…

      The whole worlds gone insane but the states are downright burning…

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