Read this if you're depressed about your shitty victim life...

[Anonymous]

I've been quite the character on GAG for the past two years -- I've shared my emotional breakdowns, my heartbreaks and all parts of my struggles and through being so transparent, I've managed to connect to a lot of people here and make genuine friendships.

The funny thing is, the Alyssa in real life is extremely secretive but what I learned was there is power in having the courage to be open about who you are, your needs and how you feel.

How it all started

I went into depression at 22-years-old. It was after I broke up with my then fiancee who I realised was cheating on me throughout the entire relationship. It was like my worst fear and greatest anxiety had come to life.

I couldn't trust myself anymore, nor the people around me.

I also had the shittiest group of friends at the time, so to make it worse I felt completely alone and isolated. I found little purpose to be alive and felt like I was destined for misery.

How did the ambitious and bubbly Alyssa end up here?

Some of you may also know that I was on antidepressants just to get through my day without basically crying every minute.

The decision

I knew I couldn't live like this so I decided to isolate myself from everything and everyone for real.

I made a list of the things *I was* in control of and that I wanted to change.

I changed my career, decided I was going to work out and become very sexy. (LOL, I know that sounds so superficial... but do you know the confidence boost you get from working out and changing your lifestyle?!)

Bumps in the road

I am not going to say it was linear from here, because it wasn't. There were days where I felt like I just wanted to DIE.

What was the point of me being here? Am I loved? Am I even worthy of love?

But I kept fighting and focussing on myself (with the occasional breakdowns), but I chose to love myself when nobody else did.

Throughout this time guys came into my life and hurt me here and there, but I also managed to meet some friends and reconnected with some old friends.

I was so emotionally resistant because of my trust issues, but if someone cares for you, it WILL be easy.

Today I have friends who are there for me no matter what, and who I know love me unconditionally for who I really am.

God, the Universe, whatever you believe in will bring in people who match your energy at the right time and remove those that don't.

If you've been reading my posts for a while, I'm happy to say that the friendship with my 'shitty best friend' is over.

My second real heartbreak

It was then I met my now ex boyfriend. It was one of those situations where, I fell instantly.

The concrete heart I thought I had was actually soft and still had some love in it.

It was a horrible and toxic relationship but I'm so grateful for it because it healed me. It was the last step for me to heal and become who I am today.

You can't feel with your heart if it doesn't get broken first.

Today

After going through everything completely alone, I feel invincible.

Nothing can put me down anymore and the confidence I gained in myself and the character development I've had over the past 2 years is invaluable.

I guess what I'm trying to emphasise is if you're going through a very shitty time in your life right now, you don't have to have everything figured out.

Actually, don't try and figure anything out at all!!

Go with the flow and choose yourself every day. Keep fighting and don't worry about how everything's going to fall into place because it will naturally.

#Heartbreak #Depression

[RealMarek]

I’m so glad you’re in a better place now. I’ve been on here for over a year and noticed your posts. I found myself hoping you would feel better, hoping you would not end up with the toxic guy, etc.,... rooting for you basically. Having gone through some extremely difficult circumstances and loss I learned that one can pull through almost anything. Difficulties make a person resilient, and the resilience that you gained by moving through depression and challenges will serve you well for the rest of your life.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you so much. Your comment means a lot to me.

[Mark987]

You my friend have a strong soul to speak your mind. Since the pandemic happened I have lost a few friends and everyone has suffered. The only thing we can do is be there for each other.. and check in, but also tell anyone who has issues to talk about their issues. To me personally.. talking helped me " the most". We are living in a very vulnerable world right now.. Hopefully it gets better

[myTake Owner]

Couldn't agree any more!

[Guy13]

Wow... that was a ride. You're a tough woman. That's an attractive trait. Best in everything !!

[myTake Owner]

Thanks!!!

[Anonymous]

How you've recovered that's amazing. And your comment about working out and that is not superficial so please don't think that.

I've had issues with depression and anxiety and sever self worth issues which to be honest my family have made worse. I have some that I would class as friends but I'm not sure how good I would say. And my closest friend at this point I haven't seen in 8 months. I feel that it's always me who puts the effort to try and talk to her and make plans a d it either gets little response, ignorded or cancelled. And well this is after she did a few things that hurt me a fair bit last year. I've not been perfect I was being I guess annoying at one point or a few with my messaging her and trying to make plans but in fairness she said with one thing it was something to talk about fave to face and said she'd let me know when she had time. When she says that tho it never means much. I can't remember if I've ever heard from her after before.

So this keeps causing more issues with my depression, anxiety and self worth and last year I did start some self harm and have done a bit this year. I was on anti depressants to help manage all of that and my sleep issues but I stopped taking them. They made me feel like I was failing but also caused really bad joint pain.

Thank you for the my take and showing that it gets better and giving some hope


I really am happy to hear that things got better for you and I hope you don't this long comment thing.

[myTake Owner]

I am glad my MyTake is useful because being in that dark place, I know how hard it is trust me. But things get better. Things always fall into place all of a sudden and simultaneously you become stronger too.

My PMs always open if you wanna be friends :)

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you your very kind. I think I would like to take you up on that if your sure you don't mind.

[myTake Owner]

Sure!!

[Opinion Owner]

Okay, thank you. apparently I can't message you tho.

[myTake Owner]

Maybe try following me so I know who you are? I can try messaging you myself.

[Opinion Owner]

Just followed you.

[TonyMetal___86]

1st of all welcome back miss alyssa rapunzel, i read you're take which i'm already aware of it and knows everything about you in general!

2nd i must say that you have a negative side which is dumping you're friends just like that without any warning and without a goodbye... etc

3rd, you do know how much i cheer you up and healed you from you're depression and was always there for you but as usual you just vanish without any prior notice and that's it!

4th, you always come back here when you're down in your life and when you need someone to make you feel better but as soon as you start feeling good and get you're life back on track, you leave everyone who have helped you and made you reach you're goal without looking back!

5th, it's not the 1st time that you does such things, you always say sorry than promise to never leave like this but suddenly you do it again and that's it!

I wish you all the best because i know that deep inside you're a good girl and none of us is perfect but i couldn't bump into you again cause i saw you by coeinsidence and act as if i didn't care and couldn't stay silent because you have to fix this issue in yourself, you can't ask why people dump you at some point while you're dumping many when their date expires!

If you want real friends than you must be a real friend to them in the 1st place...

Have a nice day!

[myTake Owner]

Hey tony. Thanks for your message. I’m going to message you.

[TheoPfeifle]

I know how the worst nightmare becoming reality can destroy a person. Message me if you want to know more, but all I will share publicly is that my ex wife was unfaithful and weaponized our children. Sounds typical, coming from a divorced dad, I know... But it went way beyond just that. The details are much more heinous. After being rescued from a noose, a year and a half ago, I'm trapped in a manipulative relationship because I feel like I owe my life to her. I'm making progress... Recognizing my own mistakes (the mindset that I owe my life to this manipulative relationship, for example, is a very recent realization), and learning to straighten things out... Drawing new lines in the sand... Closing doors I no longer want open.

[TheoPfeifle]

Also... Mind if I follow?

[myTake Owner]

I am so, so incredibly sorry to hear about what you're going through!! I have just followed you.

[Middleman]

Very happy to hear you've gone past that dark place Alyssa and finally found yourself, your voice and your strength again. It's so very important to not get bogged down with things that keep you feeling bad or negative. Bad things can certainly happen but the most important thing is when it does is to find someone trustworthy to share it with. Sometimes just talking about it with someone can help to remove much of the burden. Having a support team behind you also helps. Good for you!

[myTake Owner]

Thank you! I totally agree.

[Middleman]

You're most welcome!

[Rose_84]

Looks like you're talking about my situation.

Except I never made him my boyfriend and yes I have the shit friend group who are superficial as fuck. I felt miserable too.

Now my parents are pressuring me for my career choices and not letting me explore my options after college.

I wanna be fucking free for a while so I shut down and demanded one week break where I do whatever I want.

[myTake Owner]

Ah, that sucks. I'm glad you have the courage to demand what's best for you. Looking back, it's moments like these that really define who you become.

[AmeerX]

Oh I saw your my take at least a few times. And I didn't want to say anything. Heart breaks are just so hard to handle. I did similar things and closed off myself from everyone except my father.

Now, the thing is I still have a hard time in my life yet again and again and again. It's not making me any courageous or motivated to fight it out. I am just fed up with lies all the time. I have to pretend to be happy in my life through the difficult times and it didn't work for me.

It's best you cut off the cheater. People try to keep the cheater with them. Fine forgive them once or twice but why do people even keep tolerating it and in most cases they even start fighting the person they cheated on. It's so weird, the cheater isn't going to love us even if we hush the cheating helper

[myTake Owner]

Yeah the cheating thing seriously fucked me up…. I was exposed to such maliciousness for the first time in my life. Imagine being engaged to someone who told you they loved you every day and spoke about your future every day and stayed up til 3am to calm you down when you were anxious while they were in an entirely different relationship at the same time and sleeping with them!!! I couldn’t imagine it. It still baffles me. Some people are disgusting.

I’m so sorry you had to go through that… times can get tough especially on us ethnic people. There’s so many expectations.

[AmeerX]

Thanks Alyssa, oh, I remember you had a my take on it too. It's really sad but I am really sorry for your pain and applaud the patience some people like yourself has shown.

I wasn't cheated on in the strictest sense just I felt betrayed in my past endeavors. So, I feel I gave up so many things and now if I am to get a crappy person in the end who will just be fighting then I think life is truly unfair and people should just abandon the idea of happy or contentful endings. We can't live in fool's paradise:/

[myTake Owner]

I think at this point we’ve had our lessons lol we won’t be put through stuff like that again!

[AmeerX]

Well, all I can say is in the longer run. None of it really matters with whom you are with or how they were before. After a certain time your own life needs to take priority and your children too but basically husband and wife feel more like best friends after a time especially in older age I see older couples especially where wife can't have children and they are mostly couples with a platonic touch and affection:).

[myTake Owner]

Yeah. I mean my parents were together since they were teenagers and got married in their 30s. They’re in a happy marriage and truly in love and best friends. So my expectations are quite high! Lol

[DarkWinterNights]

I’m very glad you’re doing so much better. A lot of people tend to dwell in their depression and end up pushing everyone away in a vicious cycle. Now you’re in a better place no matter where you want to go with your life.

[myTake Owner]

Yeah I'd be lying if I said I didn't get into that vicious cycle myself... but if you keep going and with the right support system things do get better.

[Snsl153]

Happy for you that you made it through a horrible time, that at the end of it all you could still be positive and optimistic <3

[myTake Owner]

Thank you <3

[MAssAffecting777]

I think in my life, I just need to surround myself with good friends.

It has been a struggle though, but I am trying my best with that! :)

It is difficult for me fighting with insecurities

So its great to see someone who seems to have succeeded in some ways

[Fromdusktilldawn]

As a women its way easier to get out of depression

[myTake Owner]

Interesting... why?

[Dingsbums]

It probably wasn't even depression. It started when she was 22 now she is 24 and already out of it again. That was barely some midlife crisis where she was feeling lost and hopeless for a few months maybe a year

[myTake Owner]

@Dingsbums I am literally going to therapy every week...

[myTake Owner]

@RosieMelts Whatever floats your boat LOL but if someone's going to support a fully grown man leaving attacking comments on my post they're going to get blocked too. Goodbye!

[Shamalien]

Well done! Please continue to teach others how to be free of the victim mentality

[myTake Owner]

Thanks!

[exitseven]

I really liked this. I wonder how your workouts are going. I always say when your workouts are going good , everything else falls into place.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you!! My workouts are great :)

[exitseven]

awesome, mine are inconsistent.

[myTake Owner]

Aw how come?

[exitseven]

I have been working a lot and find it really hard to get up at 5 am to go to the gym. I do two back to back workouts on the weekends but know that I can't keep this up forever.

[myTake Owner]

At least you’re doing what you can! And personally I think the most important part of it all is enjoying it

[Browneye57]

And it's STILL just ALL about you ALL the time. So sad.

[myTake Owner]

Bro when I saw a notification from you I was like not him again... Mr Negative Nelly lol. It's all about me because it's about my life. And guess what? I am the main character in my life.

Anyways, I've decided to block you because you're always negative on everything I post.

[Browneye57]

I've decided to block you as well. You're a self-centered narcissist, and that will never change. Alone and lonely.

[RosieMelts]

Yeah I think a lot of people would feel better if it wasn’t about themselves all the time and if they didn’t make the highlight of their time being spent with others. It’s just a recipe for letting others determine our emotions and us having nothing better to do than pick ourselves apart literally.

Some may not like your comment, but I do. No idea what kind of guy you are, but this I found to be helpful. Resonated with me anyways and I’m learning not to let anyone hurt me and just enjoy my life 💕✨

[DesiUwU]

if only it was that easy 😭

[myTake Owner]

It's not but you can do it <3

[MCheetah]

Congrats for improving.

[Xtendable]

Love this, and thankyou for sharing

[Jamie05rhs]

<3 .

[myTake Owner]

Thanks ❤️

[Jamie05rhs]

You're welcome!

[ElementoP]

Cool. Now send nudes

[myTake Owner]

No...