When you and your SO have a disagreement or conflict, what's more important: deciding who is at fault or getting the problem resolved? (Page 2)

[Sparkie460]

It doesn't matter who is at fault. Fix the problem and move on with your life

[OlderAndWiser]

You, too, are older and wiser!

[Sparkie460]

Thank you.

[exitseven]

I wait for it to blow over. I am always the one who is at fault.

[Yucy_Gluttony]

Moving FORWARD! But If I am right and he is right, he needs to know or we will have the same fight again in the future!

[petitedollbabee]

Working together to get the problem resolved, depending on the problem.

[Aniih]

Uffff is about taking responsibility and solving the inconvenience.

[najekim]

Get the problem resolved. Life is full of compromises, especially serious relationships.

If you're trying to find blame, then you're part of the problem in the first place.

[noohair]

Relationship is not a game to be won or lost. It is an opportunity for two people, to both find more benefits, than what they can find separately.

[boombastik]

Well since they are always at fault, correcting the problem is more important lol.

[lightbulb27]

resolving it quickly with minimal pain, figuring out how to avoid it again... learning as much as possible. might take some repetition because I see my own behaviors may not mesh with how she is feeling.

[Steelcore5280]

Getting the problem resolved. People who look to find who is at fault are childish.

[poneglyphs]

No idea but I think I would talk to her about it in a calm voice & seehow she handles it.

[boobliker]

I always want the problem resolved only blame if you want it to continue...

[LiamJHayden]

Good conflict resolution is key in any relationship, romantic or otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Better choose your partner carefully if you use this method. With the wrong person, they're going to make damn sure that it seems more important to them every time so that your willingness to compromise works in their favor.

[OlderAndWiser]

If that is a vald concern, you have chosen the wrong partner.

[Opinion Owner]

I did. Though, as many other men have stated in various ways, the woman I divorced had little in common with the woman I married.

[OlderAndWiser]

People really don't change that much. If you think she changed, it probably means you did not know her very well.

[Opinion Owner]

We had a set plan for the future. We talked about it at length, going through all of the steps, what it would take to facilitate those steps, and fallback options for any problems that could arise along the way. A year after tying the knot, all those plans were unilaterally rejected by her, she got lazy where she was once an active person, and had no inclination to lift a finger without a major argument, despite previously being positively engaged in every aspect.

So no, I apparently didn't know her, but not for lack of effort on my part. She pretended to be everything I wanted in a wife (which is pretty damn common), only to turn into everything I didn't want after getting safely past the point of annulment.

[OlderAndWiser]

So what do you do to avoid having this happen again?

[Opinion Owner]

In hindsight, I should have divorced her as soon as she decided she wasn't onboard with the plans we made together. But I at least learned some valuable lessons from it.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh, that's the easy one. If you want to succeed in your goals, never rely on anyone but yourself unless you have to. And never give even a portion of your decision-making power to anyone else. Marriage has rightfully been dubbed an exchange of power. I'm not handing my power over myself to anyone else ever again.

[Jennz6]

Great cropped pictures

[OlderAndWiser]

:) :) :)

[Twalli]

I'll let you know when we have a conflict.

[OlderAndWiser]

Don't get married until you have had that experience a few times. That is when you REALLY find out what kind of relationship you have!

[Twalli]

We pretty much live together, and we've been dating for almost 5 years. We just don't really have conflicts. I think 5 years would bring up conflicts if there were any. I get waiting for marriage until you experience the bad parts, but there may be situations where your relationship doesn't have the bad parts. My girlfriend will live with me before I propose and I am guessing I won't propse until we're closer to being 6 years into our relationship than 5. Everyone can deal with the good things, but you need to deal with the bad things before marriage. I just don't see conflicts as something we have to deal with because we don't have them.

[katiesmuff]

Getting the problem solved!

[mattclark242]

I think getting the problem resolved

[Massageman]

More important? Trying to both stay alive.

[worldscolide]

Always resolving the probelm