When it comes to arguments in a relationship, we all know that during these moments it gets draining and stressful for both people. No one wants to spend endless of hours arguing over something when the time could be better spent on making pleasant and positive memories and moments. Although we would like to avoid the issue and not talk about it doing that would do more harm than it would good. I hope this information finds you well and helps you during hard times like these..
1. Acknowledge the issue
When it comes to trying to talk about it to your partner, you want to approach the situation as if you weren’t going to attack them. No one likes to feel criticized or attacked, because when someone feels like that, they get defensive and it gets quite hard to communicate to them about anything. So do this with caution. Don’t make it a big deal and be wise in the words you use.
“Hey (insert pet/endearment word here) I wanted to ask you something. It’s just something small that I’m concerned about. I just would like to get to know what you thought about it and if you had anything to say about it as well (then acknowledge the issue)”
2. Talk over the phone/face to face and not over text messages
It’s quite hard to understand a person when you just see numerous paragraphs about an issue. Not only does it get confusing but it’s hard to understand how the person is feeling about it as text messages do not express emotions and tones. Give each other a phone call and talk it over. Not only will it save you a lot of time but both people won’t feel frustrated and irritated about how the other one is feeling. It will prevent misinterpretations from happening as well.
3. Listen to what is upsetting and making that person feel uncomfortable about the issue
Listen to each other and then answer. Give each other time and allow them to explain themselves. Whether it be an example, or an observation they saw to make you understand the situation better. Make sure the both of you are on the same page before you proceed. More issues will arise if one of you are talking about one thing when the other person is actually talking about another thing.
4. Hear what both people need to say about the issue
Don’t just talk about your issues about the problem and put a wall up because you don’t want to hear what the other person has to say. During this moment communication is your best chance. So take advantage of it while you can. Allow each other to have a turn to speak. No one is trying to win a debate here. No one is trying to win anything. So don’t compete for each other’s time to talk about it. Give into the conversation as much as you can, when it's your turn to speak.
5. Fix the issue
Fix the issue. You don’t want to make the same mistake again. Compromise or come up with a solution with your partner. Once you agree make it happen.
6. Take time and give each other affection
Take time apart from each other to allow oneself to feel calmed and relaxed once again. This experience can be draining. When there has been so much time spent to mend a issue, it would be a good idea to just have a cool off period. When both people are feeling better, give each other affection. Whether that would be telling them why you love them so much, why you’re glad that you were both able to have a solution to the issue, why you care about each other so much. It all helps. Arguments in a relationship can cause friction and distance and to rebuild and patch everything up, words of love refurbishes all.
7. Move on
This is too straight forward to even elaborate on.
I hope this helps those who need it. I know arguments aren’t a pleasant topic to be even talking about in the first, but it happens.. it’s normal. Don’t wait for the issue to become a bigger problem. Don’t try to avoid the person you care about because something inside you is eating you alive. No communication can cause distance in a relationship, confusion and hostility. Better to eliminate it when it becomes an issue with you. No matter if the issue is big or small.
Thank you for reading :)
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