HOT TAKE: Having A Type Is Unhealthy In A Long Term Relationship and Here's Why

[Z1pTD]

Well for starters, let's clearly define what it means to have a "type." Your type is what you're attracted to, whether it's firm abs or a nice booty or maybe even a certain hair color! But what you're attracted to changes over time, and so your type does too.

And that's where things get difficult.

When you get a crush someone who's really hot and is perfectly your type you dream of dating them. And it's really exciting when you actually do get to date them. But you lose some of the initial excitement when they do something selfish or mean, which happens in a long term relationship. Now your emotional relationship with your partner is a little unstable and you're relying on physical attraction. Two or three years down the road your type starts to change or your partner doesn't look as good as they did before or both!

It ends up being really hard for all parties because the physical attraction is gone, and that's what you built a relationship with. It was bound to happen sometime, right?

Not necessarily. Personally I believe that when you are attracted to somebody emotionally before you're attracted to them physically it makes for a much healthier relationship that isn't based on physical attraction. Rather, it is based on valuing your partner for who they are, with all their faults. And from my experience, it's much healthier :)

Thanks for reading all this! Let me know what you think!

[Rei13]

It is okay to have a physical type, we all do, and use that as an initial draw. However you can’t let that be the only determining factor in a relationship. It doesn’t matter how much you have in common with someone or how compatible both of you are if there is zero attraction there. You’re just going to end up with another friend, not a partner. It’s basically finding someone you feel at least some physical attraction towards and then seeing if your morals, personality etc are compatible

[CAPLOVE]

I think you like someone based on looks and you stey with them based on personality. I feel like everyone has a type and yeah people change but like they will look and be simular. For example, if you like blue eyes the guy will always have blue eyes. Or if you like basketball the guy players basketball when you meet him and still will always be into it.

[Z1pTD]

^mhm

[magiusX26]

you did pretty good here but under not fully accurate info. not all "types" are physical attributes or are tue just physical. s9me of your writing did elude to those from personality though when you mentioned things like "partner did something selfish or rude so you lost some liking of their personality" (paraphrasing) which indicates personality attributes that you are and aren't attracted to as well.

[Z1pTD]

Yeah true

[coachTanthony]

Having a type is not a bad thing unless you allow that type to stop you from vetting the person properly for alignment, chemistry and compatibility.

[Z1pTD]

CoachTanthony in the house!
Yeah

[imtiaz45]

Having a rigid "type" in a long-term relationship can be unhealthy as it may prioritize superficial traits over compatibility and personal growth. It can limit the potential for discovering meaningful connections with diverse individuals. Preferences may change over time, and strictly adhering to a type might lead to missed opportunities for enriching relationships. Flexibility in accepting people for who they are, beyond preconceived notions, fosters a more dynamic and resilient partnership. Embracing differences can contribute to a more fulfilling and enduring connection, allowing room for mutual evolution and shared experiences.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/eC4iiZKSPfE

[Z1pTD]

^^^^

[At3mis24]

I'm not okay with this! Diverse individuals? I'm not making a collection of partners, I just open my heart for ONE for them, only ONE.

[Anonymous]

you can date someone that you're not physically attracted to. However, you will not want to be physically close to them. Remember that this is a mating process, not a platonic relationship. You will not want to have sex with someone you're not attracted to. Sure, there will always be the few exceptions but they really don't represent the vast majority of the population.

Couples in long term relationships have "attachment love", it means they are attached to each other emotionally so they will still be in love with each other even though they're not longer physically attracted to each other. Their spouse is part of what makes them happy everyday and as they grow used to it throughout many years, they feel like they cannot live without it.

[At3mis24]

I will never date someone who I'm not physically attracted to. It's alchemy, don't forget it!

[Z1pTD]

Agreed, but I my physical attraction towards someone is 50% controlled by their personality

[nonyabeez-wax]

This is both accurate and inaccurate.

I myself have two types. Personality, and Physical. Typically my two types dont overlap, both of which have been bad for my relationships.

However my grandfather has a particular physical type. My grandmother died her hair red and kept it the same length for 50 years, just because that was his type. They haven't had a perfect marriage, but they are still together 67 years later. Her hair color is white now, but her hairs length has stayed the same. It reminds me that she loves him.

[exitseven]

Having a type is not all physical. I was always attracted to athletic girls. I have been a gym rat all my life and have an active lifestyle and want someone who can share that with me. Also, girls that are into sports are usually college educated and motivated to improve themselves. It all comes with the package. I dated somebody that was the opposite of everyone I ever dated. It was fun for a while but I knew the whole time she was not what I wanted.

[HawkPerception]

I agree 100%

[Anonymous]

I agree with you, when you have a type, you focus more on the apparence not the personnality in general, it is more like admiration maybe.., it's true if you want someone with blue eyes, it won't change but normally type don't just defines on eyes color, it can be more than that, like hair color or body shape or the size... And those things can change, time will come, the person may become bald or hairy, fat or thin, he may shrink due to age.. So I personally think that falling in love with someone who has nothing to do with your type is more healthier than the one of your dreams, I mean if you fall for someone who has nothing to match with your "type" what can it be either, it's true love, no matter what happens, if this person change shapes, you won't lose interest because this person has not too much to do with your type. And if you fall for your dream guy/girl when those shape, the real reason why you loved him/her disappear, what is left..

[DreamLife7]

False, that is not what type means

[At3mis24]

No, he must be my type. Blue eyes/Black hairs, it's the basis.

[Ironic_Method]

It's interesting to me that people think it's an either or thing. You can lust over someone and like their personality, too.

[Z1pTD]

Oh I totally agree that you can have both

[Gent207-2]

Okay your mini-blog completely underscores the progression of mature love and the passage of time. Yes your typology changes but general parameters of physical attraction stay the same throughout your life.

[Z1pTD]

Yeah that's not contradictory tho so I don't know why you said "but" lol

[syncheart]

This reminds me of something I heard a pastor once say. "If you marry the perfect person, in a year or two, they won't be that perfect person anymore."

[RedInnocent68]

Agreed. But not having a type makes every person a threat to an insecure partner. 🤔

[Z1pTD]

Lol interesting. . .

[Anonymous]

Not true people are entitled to their preferences and are married to them for 50 plus years. You're 22, inexperienced and unmarried.

[Z1pTD]

I'm not saying it's impossible to a type and have a good relationship, I'm saying if you are more attracted to a certain type of youthful body more than you are attracted to your partner emotionally, then that will make the relationship difficult.

[Anonymous]

I disagree. You have to have a type. You're gonna go in not knowing what you want?