The reason why I give the "Silent Treatment"

[Anonymous]

Although I don't particularly agree with the method, I use it. The reason why is because I'm a very low-maintanced girl. I don't need you consistenly to lavish me with flowers, chocolates, and attention. Instead, I like giving and lavishing you and making you happy with everything you want: sex, blowjobs, food, handmade crafts, and romantic gestures. I'm considerate, friendly to all your friends, and trys the best not to hinder you. You want to go to the bar with your friends? Sure, I'll just chill and go on tumblr. I'll be there for you whenever you need it. I'm the type that makes the relationship easy.

I'm relatively happy-go-lucky, but for days that are important for us like our Anniversary I expect more than the usual of "nothing". Thus, I expect more and I give more. I think ahead and go out of my way to make you more than happy. But if you don't return my efforts and expectations, or at least try, then you get the silent treatment.

The reason why I'm angry is because you messed up. You've become lazy. Unlike the norm, I want you to try harder to make me happy. Like how I forced myself to eat what you like, learned how to cook it, satisfied your needs, and etc. If you don't try at least on this one, important day-- You dun fucked it up. I've allowed you to become too lazy and accustomed to receiving.

Telling you would be too easy! The silent treatment makes you work. You'll have to think and analyze all the things you've done. You'll have to find out why you're wrong. If I were to just tell you, I'm helping you become lazier.

If I were to explicitly tell you, you won't internalize it. But if you were to find out why you're wrong through your own will and mind, you'll actually internalize it. You'll see through my perspective and heart. Afterall, learning from realizing your own mistakes is the best way to learn. This is why I use the silent treatment.

[inamorata]

You're being horrible and pretty stupid.
First it's been proven many times that BEST relationships are actually those among open, bickering partners. Complainers who don't ever lie to each other, BUT ALSO get it out of the way and don't hold grudges, or keep score either.
The relationship is constantly exposed for what it is and constantly repaired and readjusted. People grow one next to another when they know everything that's wrong.

Second the silent treatment is a punishment. It's not a tool for correcting, it's NOT a way of communicating, it's a punishment for bad behavior.
But if the person suffering the punishment doesn't know what they are being punished for, all they can do is feel horrible in your company. And then that horrible feeling becomes associated with YOU instead of the "crime" they may have committed against you.

Third, you're a liar. Saying you're chill and have no needs. Well get some.
Not only does that attitude make you seem like a doormat of low worth, it also distances you from your partner. You may think you're being "the ideal girlfriend", but what you are actually being is a person growing apart from him.
Did you know that people actually love someone MORE when they give, than they would love if they were receiving?
Men want to pamper you, protect you, put some effort in you and earn your smile from time to time. It makes them feel more manly. It gives them a purpose in the relationship, just like you pampering your guy does the same.

You've spent way too much time listening to guys' bitching instead of observing their behavior. You're doing it ALL wrong. I wouldn't be too surprised if whatever guy you're doing it to dumped you, or will do so soon.

[DanteSparda]

Succinctly put,
That's exactly how I percieve as a guy when I encounter such situations in my life.
+1 :)

[Anonymous]

You sound like a wonderful woman and a guy would be lucky to have you...

BUT, you are dead wrong about the silent treatment and as far as I'm concerned it's every bit as bad as the male behavior you're describing. It's pure immaturity and sadly it is also typical passive aggressive female behavior.

If you really want to treat your man as well as you want us to believe you do, don't fuck with his head like that. If you want him to treat you as well as you want us to believe you treat him, be mature enough to communicate with him. If you are angry with him about something, TELL HIM WHAT IT IS.

You deserve a man who treats you well, who shows his appreciation for you and doesn't overlook anniversaries and birthdays. But that man deserves better from you too, and based on your very first sentence here, I think you know that.

Be mature enough to communicate with your man rather than punishing him with the silent treatment and expecting him to guess correctly what you're pissed about. Because if you continue doing that, you're the one who is going to end up alone, analyzing your actions and wondering where you fucked up.

[R3d_Anonymous]

Completely agree.

[Kalinda]

Any sex is capable of being passive aggressive. Most people are at one point or another. though in emotionally stable rational people , it's rare. You think its female typical Bc you don't date men. If you dated men Youd know they can be very passive aggressive.

[Opinion Owner]

Kalinda - I won't disagree that men can be that way as well. But the fact is it's far more common among women.

[DanteSparda]

Well I'd drop you at the moment I find out that you are playing mind games and manipulating me.

Be "DIRECT" instead of playing games and expect your boyfriend to figure it out by himself about your problem. He's not a psychic.

My current girlfriend is also doing the same thing right now because she didn't like to accept her faults and when I told her that I don't condone this type of behavior, she started ignoring me since then.

I told her sorry for my mistakes (Which obviously I didn't make) and also lowered my self respect and dignity for her but if she continues to behave like this, I wouldn't want to fight for her to get her back.

But if she was "being direct" to me instead of ignoring me, the situation would maybe much better right now.

NO ONE LIKES TO BEING IGNORED, That includes "guys" too :)

[geekylady]

Silence doesn't work and it will eventually turn into a growing ball of thoughts that will make you explode inevitably. Communication is essential, you can stay quite at first if you feel upset, but after you calm down you have to talk about it, if your bf hears you out and understands you then you can both move on and your relationship can move forward and be better, if he continues to ignore you he's probably not worth it. We have to learn how to speak out and be honest with our emotions, if someone hurts my feelings I will tell them to make sure that it doesn't happen again. Going silent will only put you in a bad mood, you will over analyze everything, you won't be able to stop being upset because he won't notice as quickly as you wish him to notice. If someone gives me the silent treatment I'd feel that they don't want to know at all about me and I'd lose interest and move one eventually.

[Hrothgar]

The reason why you give the silent treatment is because you are emotionally immature, abusive, and a poor communicator. Ignoring someone says to them, you do not exist, you are not valid, your feelings are not valid, and the only things valid to me are my feelings and my needs.
It's one thing to tell someone you need some space and then take it, but it's another to stonewall someone with no warning in the false hope that they'll magically realize why you are treating them as if they don't exist. Even homeless people are told, "Sorry, pal, I don't have any change," and they're strangers, not intimate partners.

[Queen_naki5]

I know what you mean, but this doesn't work with guys. Guys are more logical and straight to the point. I've tried the silent treatment with my guy and I failed miserably. Being direct and honest is the way to go in relationships. Communication is the key to success, and you can't assume that he'll THINK about anything without him being reminded of what he did wrong to begin with. Instead of giving him the silent treatment, kindly let him know how you feel. People (especially men) respond better this way. He will have plenty time to think about it. Using the silent approach can appear obnoxious.

[Kalinda]

I don't think guessing " what did I do wrong" counts as work. If you tell him whats wrong he had the entire rekationship to better himself. If he has no idea then the entire rekationship will just be chaos.

You don't hire someone then have them guess what they are supposed to do to give them a chsnce to prove they are hard working.

You give them work and see if they work hard.

I think if you're angry you need to accept you're angry and ket him kniw. I think by not telling him you think you're not being naggy. But telling someone calmly you're upset is not nagging. And in a healthy relstionship you should feel at ease with open communication.

It sounds to me like anytime yoive tried to communicate openly YOUVE been lunished... So now you just hint arond and let him figure it out. It is not fair to him if you do that, and it's not fair to you that you think you have to do that to have a functioning relationship.

[warumnicht]

This is a nice idea but at the end of the day it doesn't help. You don't stop being lazy because of one thing (somebody giving you the silent treatment) it needs to be a continuous thing. Besides if they want to make you happy they should do it.
I'm not talking from having experienced this in a relationship I'm talking from the perspective of somebody who's never been part of any of this and from the outside it looks like a stupid idea. If I didn't want to talk to someone I would ignore them or if I they'd got to me so much I wanted to make them suffer by shutting them out of my life completely but it's not a good way to help people correct mistakes.

[Aud_Queen]

I'm relatively happy-go-lucky... I like giving and lavishing you and making you happy with everything you want...

I expect more and I give more.

This is me. But unlike this article, I let you know what I don't like, but I hate repeating myself. If im not being heared, I won't bother saying it anymore. Eventually I just leave.

[Toad-1]

im sorry but the silent treatment is fucking cruel. being on the other end of it is ver unpleasant. if a woman uses it on me i wouldn't stand for it and most likely break up with her.

You have a problem, we talk it out like adults, we don't play these silly games

[p0rtis26]

Stonewalling is one of the worst actions you can do in a relationship. Relationship successors do not stonewall each other. This is crazy logic! Men ARE NOT mind readers. Communication not silent treatment, or communicate you are upset and why and then be silent if you must.

[p0rtis26]

This is how 5 year olds act and I am not being facetious.

[TheEmma]

I get this done to me a lot and no it doesn't make me internalize whatever made her mad, it makes me angry and confused because I'm not a mind reader. Telling me what I did wrong wouldn't make me lazy in any way, that makes no sense. It'd make me understand what isn't working, what I did that was wrong and I'd be able to work on it.

The silent treatment doesn't work. There needs to be communication and maturity.

[Frost_Byte]

I think this is totally justifyable. I would be more than happy to return the favor three days a year if you made me happy YEAR ROUND. Like holy crap, i feel like even that is too much to ask from u

[Anonymous]

oh my goodnesss i need to print this out and just hand this to people who do fuck up because this is my personality haha people just become lazy and take advantage of how helpful and easy going you are and than its just like whoaaa brah where were you when i needed something even though im always there for you? thats disloyalty. thank you so much for posting this

[Opinion Owner]

i really dont give out silent treatment because it is whacked out... ill still be polite and respectful but i am not the one for drama so definitely if i feel like someone is being moody with me or abusive i MAY pretend like i didn't hear the lmao

[RationalMale]

The silent treatment makes me shrug, delete a girl's number, and go out to socialize and meet a new girl, haha.

[Mysterio421]

LMFAO

[Samstun]

By acting as his slave, you reward him for being lazy and inconsiderate. You seem to love him like when he's like that. And then, 3 times a year, you punish him for being lazy and inconsiderate.

If you love him that much like that, you shouldn't expect him to become who he isn't when the calendar tells you that he should.

If it's that much important to you, maybe you should find a different guy.

[toothrilled]

Passive aggressive people don't love others unconditionally, they only do things to get something in return.

[geri3ttc]

The silent treatment is emotional abuse. Simple as that.

[Anonymous]

The silent treatment isn't so bad initially. But if he can't figure it out and you don't tell him that sucks. I've been in those shoes and it. is. not. fun.

[Anonymous]

"Telling you would be too easy! The silent treatment makes you work"... hahaha what an idiot, you don't even realise telling could help the both of you while the silent treatment only only results in conflict...

[Toad-1]

exactly, she result to playing games then being mature about it

[JackKerouac77]

Silent treatment = opposite of communication

Lack of communication = no relationship except for those lucky telepathics

Express your emotions or succumb to alienation.

[Anonymous]

You'll stay quiet and he has to magically read your mind, find out what's wrong and fix it. The silent treatment never works. Guys never think that far and he'll just get frustrated. Just tell him. I'm sure he'll appreciate it