My girlfriend is a feminist, should I be scared?

[Anonymous]

So my girlfriend of one week told me that she is a feminist. I am not a particularly learned man and I don't really know what feminism is all about. All I know is that it isn't good for men.

Should I be worried about my girl's beliefs or can feminism be compatible with a relationship?

Thanks for reading my question and I look forward to your answers

[Anonymous]

It depends on what country you are from and how the topic came up.

Feminism is not a single movement no matter what people tell you. In the west some feminists are very reasonable, and those are the ones that normally don't feel a need to go around telling people they are feminists. In the west the women that feel the need to tell people they are feminists are generally the crazy women that believe everything men do is some conspiracy to knock women down to nothing more than a sex object or some other nonsense.

If a woman goes out of her way to tell you she is a feminist, then it more like a battle cry against you for the crime you committed for being a man. If that is how it came up, then she really is worthless as anything more than a temporary sex object. She will most likely never have value as a long term partner, as she will only see you as competition. She won't give up until she proves she is stronger, and once she does, she will lose all respect for you as a man, and find some other guy that can be a challenge. Unfortunately these crazies are the ones that yell the loudest and effect public policy more.

If you are in a country where women commonly don't do certain things, it may be that she is trying to tell you that she wants to step out of her gender role and do other things. She was already your girlfriend before she told you, so it doesn't sound like she is one of the crazies. You may need to talk to her about what that means to her.

The funny thing about feminism, is that as women take on a man's role, their happiness actually goes down, while the man's goes up. Apparently feminists don't realize men have traditionally taken the brunt of the work and stress on ourselves for their sakes. It mean's more responsibility and stress for the woman, and less responsibility and stress for the guy. Overall feminism is great for men, but it is horrible for women. lol Just avoid the more extreme feminists.

[TheLastGirlScout]

"If that is how it came up, then she really is worthless as anything more than a temporary sex object." This is why we still need feminist today - people talking shit like this. Feminism is not about women taking on a man's role - you seem to have absolutely NO idea what feminism is about, it's about equality, plain and simple. A lot of feminists go OTT and are anti-men, but they're as equally harmful to attaining equality as the misogynist men they are trying to fight.

[Opinion Owner]

Clearly I understand feminism better than you. You don't understand, a woman that feels the need to constantly defeat her man, is a woman of no value beyond her body. Such a woman simply can't be taken seriously as a long term partner. So the only men that have a use for them are men looking for sex. Just like a horrible man that mistreats women, might still have value for his money. It doesn't make it right, but that is just just the way it is. The only people that will want them are people looking to use them. Anyone looking for a decent partner in life will simply move on to someone that isn't going to mistreat them.

[thtdiablo]

I highly doubt that she is fully aware of what it actually means. And just to clarify: There are hundreds of strains of feminism (that's not meant to be a pun, but whatever). As long as she's not taking the "gender mainstream" road (which is actually opposite to what feminism wanted all the time, but that's another story) there should be no major issues, except if she's a Simone-de-Beauvoir-extremist who sees men as something lower, then just dump her, it won't work.

[DreamHope]

"Feminist" has different meanings to different people.

I'm a feminist. I believe:
•equal rights for men and women.
•Equal work, equal pay.
•Our opinions carry the same weight.
•Both sexes deserve to be considered for leadership.
•Men are better at some things, women are better at some things.
•Both should be able to vote.
•Both should be equally responsible for the welfare of their children - although the role of the mother may look different to the role of the father. A stay-at-home mother is a worthy occupation. A father needs to contribute to parenting.

Another woman may be a feminist and believe any of these:
•Women are better than men
•all men are jerks
•men should act in a feminine way
•women should be paid more because they do their jobs better
•women are better leaders than men
•a man should be happy to be a stay-at-home parent while the wife works

Ask your girlfriend some questions to find out what she believes about gender roles.

[Mojbr1000]

My girlfriend told me she would be happy if I stay home while she works I can’t simply take advantage on her but that’s stupid I don’t even know why are they doing this life is fucking simple she should fight for herself not for social issues.. and every little situation has nothing to do with men and women she turns it to be about men control women I feel so bad but I love her and I don’t know what to do 🤷🏻‍♂️

[SaVes]

People often label themselves feminists wrongfully. It depends on what she means by "feminism". If she's a feminist in the original sense of the word, then it's all good.

"All I know is that it isn't good for men." - That would only be the case if she misuses the label "feminism" for herself, like unfortunately so many others do.

I've been with men whose feminist views were stronger than my own. There was never an issue with that.

[Prettygurl12]

Like Panzer103 said, if she's a feminist in the sense of equality, then that's good and will be very beneficial for your relationship. If she's the psycho kind... then, well, you're screwed. As a feminist myself (of the former variety), my boyfriend likes it (I think). He likes that we take turns taking each other out to dinner, I'm keen on paying him back for stuff, and I never pull the "girl" card when it comes to shitty stuff.

[front2back]

Well, it shouldn't be too bad because if she is willing to be in a relationship with you (you patriarchy supporting, misogynistic, male privileged scum!), than she is not what is referred to as a "Feminazi", "Tumblr Feminist" or "#YesAllWomen warrior". She is just probably egalitarian (which most people are) but is mostly concerned with women's issues. Most women who are "feminists" are this. Generally speaking, they'll be more concerned with some Eastern culture's oppression of women (which is quite bad) rather than Western (mild at worst).

As long as she doesn't give pep talks about how you are supporting rape culture or how you suck for being male, you'll be fine. This isn't 1960's feminism anymore so the relationship should work out.

[TheLastGirlScout]

Mild at worst... ha!

[DodgersGM]

Well I guess it depends on her definition of the term.

I've noticed that many people who label themselves as "feminist" only support a very narrow version of the principle, and they attack anything that doesn't conform to that ideal. If she happens to be one of these types, then yeah, I'd consider running fast in the opposite direction.

If she's the type that just wants women to have equal rights and freedoms of choice, then that's awesome. I'd hope we all want that! :-)

[Panzer103]

Depends. If she is a feminist for equality then you'll be cool. She may even pay for dinner sometimes and save you some money.

If she is a feminazi (extreme feminist) (never call her that) then everything will be anti men and about female dominance. Try getting her opinion on a few gender topics to figure her out.

[rthomas43]

Feminist just means you're for women being politically and socially equal. Most girls are and a lot of guys are, myself included.

As long as she isn't a man hating feminazi you have nothing to worry about.

[kerihobo]

yeah, my ex was a feminist and it was a nightmare. If i really wanted to make her happy i could have chopped my dick into little tiny slices and set those pieces on fire, and then served them to a turantula, it would have made her feminist brain so damn happy.

[Anonymous]

WHY is feminism not good for men?
It does depend a lot on her views on feminism and what it means for her to be a feminism. Talk to her about it. Men are feminists too, okay? It's not a bad thing. It's just women striving for equality in this world, not female world domination or anything. Whatever warped views you have of feminism, chuck them out the fracking window. Seriously.
Best of luck.

[AndyWes]

Feminism is bad for men because it usually demands that men go out of their way to serve women, etc. It's like Obamacare. Women now pay less and men pay more under regulations, even though women literally live years longer and cost more to keep healthy.

It would be like auto insurance people charging women more and men less so they can pay equal rates, despite men crashing more often.

[shewolf16]

feminism is not in any way bad for men. I believe that everyone should be a feminist. It's about women's rights and equality. both of which women more than deserve.
so no you should not be worried. maybe she'll teach you a thing or two.

[Rail2k]

Feminism is perfectly compatible with a relationship, and it's not really anything bad for men. It basically just means that she wants to be treated as an equal instead of a girl such as letting her fight her own battles, avoiding chivalry, etc.

[TrustMe93]

It depends on what kind of Feminist she is. I'm a women's studies major, and feminism to me pretty much means being equals to men and for women to be able to do things because they want to and it makes her a better person. When I say that women should decide things for themselves, I mean this: I personally love chivalry and I want to feel like a guy is in control sometimes. I can't make all of the decisions lol!
Again, Feminism is different for everybody.

[Mesonfielde]

That depends. There are two kinds of feminists. I divide them by the terms "misandrists" and "equalists". Be afraid of misandrists, but equalists are really cool.

[Mesonfielde]

Technically in case it's not obvious what they mean, misandrists are those who claim that all men are out to get them and each and every one of them is deep-rooted with evil. They're sexist and crazy. Equalists are trying to create equal relationships between the two sexes in all respects where it is possible, which is pretty nice, and it also tends to mean they're mature enough not to expect to be controlled and dominated, but be treated as equals and treat as equals, it's really neat.

[Zephyrinthesky]

I'd ask her to define what feminist means to her. Her answer will allow you to gage if you think the relationship will work. Feminist does not equate to bitch.

[Blueeyes81]

Take out scissors, pull down pants, cut balls off. That is what your in for.

[Anonymous]

It's a sign that she thinks you have no standards and can say whatever she wants. Its sad.

[TheLastGirlScout]

Explain?

[Opinion Owner]

If a man said he was a masculinist, would he be able to get any dates? Probably not

[TheLastGirlScout]

How does this explain what you said? Why would this mean he had no standards?

[Mesonfielde]

But masculinist isn't really a thing.

[Anonymous]

Break-up now, and build yourself a feminist-proof bunker.

[findingdreamland]

Run away dude. I am not even kidding.

[Tassos]

Slap her up a bit. She'll learn.

[Anonymous]

Modern day feminism is ridic.