Found nude pics on my bf computer of his ex should I be upset?

[Anonymous]

This girl he dated a while back, I saw naked pics of her on his computer folder, this is a girl who he referred as "annoying and a loser" but he had pics of her on his fb, which I made him delete after we got serious, and I saw pic of her on his phone so I deleted them, didn't see her as a threat, when we first started talking he went to his HS reunion he didn't take me later on I found out she was going, I didn't think nothing of it either, now seeing these pics are making me think. Should I be upset? Specially now that we are in a funk, why would he keep pics of her if quote on quote he doesn't like her

[Phantasm01]

Sunny88 - I read your comment to another responder where you stated " I know, they're old, but what's the point? He has her on his fb, pics of them hiking I don't get it I'm not insecure by any means. I didn't get mad but my friends are all like WHAT? So maybe I should be upset "

When I read this statement I have to ask if you weren't upset when you first found them and only now questioning if you should be upset because all your 'Friends' say you should be which relationship means more to you?

Have you asked him about the pictures? If they are old is he willing to delete them as well? Even though he has said he doesn't like this EX... Is it possible he may not like her as a girlfriend but as friends they are okay? You stated he has pictures of her on his Facebook page and he is still friends with her on facebook. In any relationship a person gets into are they suppose to go through and scrub away their life of past relationships because a potential relationship might be jealous?

I have been with my husband over 20yrs and I still have pictures of him and his first wife. Even though he told me to throw them out I still kept them. Simple because it was and still apart of his past. I do not want to erase his past and act like I am the only person he has ever been with or loved. I want to be apart of his future. Keeping those photos and memories from his past shows that I accept all of him past, present, and future.

Now if any of these actions have happened while you two have been dating and you feel like he has lied to you that is a different story. On that you should sit down and talk with him open and honestly if you really want to build a future with him. However if he has never given you a reason to doubt him and these doubts are only starting to build because of the ideas your 'friends' are giving you then make sure whatever choice you make is " Your Choice 100% " and not what "Everyone Else" thinks should happen.

[Asker]

Thank you! U make a lot of sense , only reason why I am thinking this way it's because after an argument we had, I have giving all space needed, he barely texts me, he's distant and cold, he won't get out of the funk of the argument which was a pitty one, and I am getting tired of waiting on him, he's being so cold with me so when I went to gather my stuff, I saw his computer on and wonder if he was being like this Cus he's seeing some1 else, ( I have his apt key ) everything was clean, then I saw that pic and a few girls profile that he had booked mark from FB couldn't tell when he did it though.

[Phantasm01]

I am not sure what the argument was about or how it got started. However if he is worth it and if you want to try and have a future with him then I would suggest thinking about the argument. How did it get started? Not saying you caused it because I don't know but would it be worth it to simply ask him for coffee or something in the afternoon and tell him I know things are tense between us and I really do not want it to be, I know the argument we had was petty and I am sorry for my part in it. Can we talk and see if there can be a future for us. Just go from there.

[Asker]

I did. He still says his confused, well he is a very cold person and throws tantrums and doesn't shows me he misses me, it's not the same like
Before, and I calmly tried to hash things out but he got upset and turned it around , he was too stubborn to let his pride down , and didn't speak to me for a week, then when he did I said I'm sorry I want to work
Things out he says " I expect too much from
Him" ie wanting him to text me and show me affection, and telling him that I am
Coming off as needy, so I stopped, see if
He would do it on his own but he doesn't, he's just cold with me,

[Phantasm01]

I am sorry to hear that. Perhaps it is best if you just quick txting him and learn to start your life over. I'll use a person example my ex would never come get his son on weekends because he knew I would never go out with friends if my son was hope. So even though we were broke up for awhile he was still controlling what I would do on a subverting level. Perhaps you should just send one last text and let him know I understand your feelings and apparently I can't change them so you can have your space and I will take my space. If you should ever change your mind and I have not already found another person who will treat me with respect perhaps we can talk at that time. Until then I do not need toxic relationships and I am also going to remove you from my Facebook so there is not misunderstanding about personal space. --- See what his response is then. If he isn't willing to fight a little for you then don't waste anymore of your time.

[Asker]

I know, man are just controlling that way, I did last night I told him, how I felt and that if we continued like this I was moving on, and he tried to turn it around me by saying "sure seems like that's what I want since I look to him as if I was dating someone else" I've kept my distance and only reply when he text me I don't initiate contact gave him PLENTY of space and he still, is like
He wants to string me along he won't finalized but he won't act like a bf I want. "Love attention. Text, calls", if he does is for like 2 mins IF THAT, he's being very nonchalant but his prideful to say he wants to he with me, since I already came on to him told him I loved him first, and expressed how much he meant to me so he feels he has me, and I'm tired of telling him, so I got my stuff and will ignore him see if this wakes him
Up. It can be an easy way out for him or a fight to change for me. Fair enough? ;-) your advice are awesome
By the way thank you for taking your time

[Phantasm01]

You are very welcome =) Just stick to your choices and when in doubt stop and ask yourself if you had a friend going through the exact same thing as this what advice would you give her? Then see if it matches what your next action was going to be =)

I left my son's father because I knew the relationship was toxic on many levels but I still loved him when I left. It was one of the most difficult things in the world for me to do and make that decisions but looking back 24yr later one I do not regret in the slightest.

[Ishocnar]

I can not say as to why he has them or if you should be upset. But I can tell you how I feel about things and what it would mean to me. First I have been married now for 20 years and we are very happy. If she found nude pictures of my ex's on my computer she would be upset and hurt. However, It is not how I personally see them. I love the way a woman looks both with clothes and without. I find woman to be both sexual and beautiful to look apon. This being said I have no interest in being with another woman nor would I ever even if i found one to be aluring. I do not compare her to other women or would I ever want to because she is special and above the rest. This does not mean I do not find other woman sexy or attractive and enjoying seeing them nude or clothed. I do not mean to hurt her nor do I want her hurt by my enjoyment of other women's appearance so I do not keep things like that around. However I see beauty in the way many women look and enjoy looking at them as a form of wonderful art.

[krash2002]

I had a few naked pictures of exes on one of my laptops that I used on occasion. A year had passed before I had put them on there, and totally forgot that I had them on that laptop as well as another. My girlfriend at the time found them, and she was upset about it for around a week. Then she saw the modified date, and realized that it well before we even met. I would check the modified date, or at least the creation date. This will give you a better idea as to where to proceed.

[Asker]

2009 🙈. But he also had pics on his phone of her, and fb. I deleted them. But I left the nude ones in his computer obv they mean something to him

[krash2002]

If the folder to the images are on his desktop. Then I'd say yes. If not, then I say he just forgot to delete them. However, talking to him about it will allow you to determine what the true cause is. Due to his response. If it's defensive, then he was hiding it. If he acts surprised, and shocked that he left them on there. Then... he probably just forgot to delete them.

[Bonzey]

I still have nude pics of other girls from my past. Most of them are on my computer, old cell phones, or in old Facebook/text convos. I'm in a relationship and have/would delete anything a girl sent while we were dating, but in my opinion if the old pics were from before we started dating, then I am not going to go searching for these to delete them.

In your case, based on the info that you provided, I am fairly confident that 1) he had a stronger connection with this girl than he wants you to know, 2) he probably still has something for this girl, 3) the nude pics are accessible for a reason. Either they were recently sent or he still enjoys seeing her nude, and 4) you were purposely not I bited to the reunion so that he could see if he could score with the "annoying loser"

[Anonymous]

I mean, it's pretty reasonable to assume that someone isn't going to do a sweep of their computer and delete a bunch of stuff from an ex off their. Most people wouldn't even think of it or remember that they're there. It sounds like, from the FB thing you mentioned, that you're just on the hunt for these things because you're a bit insecure about this ex of his.

When you go hunting through someone else's stuff, this sort of thing is bound to happen.

[RoyalxMeow]

you should be furious if he still looks at those photos and even more so if he uses them to masterbate with, if he doesn't ever look at them then delete them and forget about it, no need to be mad

[decemberxblue]

"Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me." Shit, you let him fool you 3 or 4 times too many. Unless these things are old and he completely forgot about them, I consider it unfaithful.

[Asker]

I know, they're old, but what's the point? He has her on his fb, pics of them hiking I don't get it I'm not insecure by any means. I didn't get mad but my friends are all like WHAT? So maybe I should be upset

[decemberxblue]

I think everyone should make their own rules. For example, there's people most happy in polyamorous relationships, but it's certainly not for me. The only thing I'd be wary about is whether or not he still has feelings for her, and if he's likely to act on them.

[Anonymous]

It's not wrong to feel things... what you do with them, is another story

[Chris0516]

If I was you. I would definitely be upset

[queen-b]

U should be upset. Aha