How do you get over someone without cutting contact?

[Anonymous]

I've been in love with this guy for a year now and have tried to show him many times, but he never reciprocated my feelings or discussed what our relationship was. Sometimes I'm sure he loves me back and sometimes the complete opposite. We flirt , we go out on dates occasionally, we fight, we get jealous, and we act like a couple around his friends. We hold hands even smacked a couple of times but never hooked up nor became official either. I'm really attached to him and I know he doesn't love me as much as I do. I can't stop talking to him and neither can he because we talk every single day ( for a year) and when we do argue like a married couple he goes crazy, calls me and we make up immediately. How can I move on? Get over him without avoiding him because I REALLY can't we have a great friendship and I don't want to loose him. Its like we can't stop talking but he wants something and I want something else. Help?

[TheStaff_Sergeant]

For many perhaps, your question is too much to ask of them. Paradoxically, you desperately want to find an effective solution to let go of the very person you desperately desire to hold on to. Therefor, something, somehow, soon, has to give.

Having said that, my advice, start accepting the reality of the matter. At this juncture, you guys are not compatible enough to fulfill each others needs and wants as a partner. You are not the right fit for each other.

Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, in an effort to stop relying upon him emotionally, get out of the house, socialize, call up old friends if possible, and make new ones. Expand your social circle. For the less you are emotionally dependent upon him, the less you will dwell, the quicker you will recover.

Also, treat him as a platonic friend and nothing more. No flirting, no cuddling, no dates or the like, no change in behavior if he mentions another women. No getting jealous over his romantic life. End of story. If, for some reason, you cannot adhere to such, then you may need to cut or limit ties with him for some time to get over him.

In any case, if you remain in contact with him, you likely have a long road ahead of you before you come out on the side.

GL,