Do men need reassurance in relationships too? Everyone come in and weigh in on this topic.

[Anonymous]

It seems that the society norm is for girls to feel more needy for the reassurances from their counterpart in a relationship.

How about Men? The sensitive type that most girls on dream of having a men that cares for her needs and emotional support.

Seems like life is ironic, when you can be the same Man in all aspects, but when you start being sensitive and caring, the girl may start to take a back seat and not yearn your sensitivities.

However when that same guy turned into the typical macho asshole kind of guy that forgets anniversaries and hangs out with his "bros" too much, that same lady might complain why is he not as sensitive?

Does it feel weird for you ladies to provide constant reassurance of your feelings for your Man? Or do you think its "un-manly" when that happens, because a "true Man" should be confident and not worry about being reassured, because he is blindly confident that his girl is in love with him for some reason, and he is who he is, and do not need to be sensitive or make the extra effort to make her feel assured?

Men needs Reassurance

Real Men DON'T need it!!! Reassurance? pfftttt...

[kangle]

Yep. My fiance do brightens up whenever I hold his hand during time of distress so he gets reassured that I would stay with him whatever happens (though he would never admit he needs reassurance). Guys r equally vurnerable especially when they r in serious relationship. They always want to b providers n it gives them ego boost but sometimes they too need assurance that "u dont need to prove urslf I knw u r capable n I won't run away"...

[Asker]

Ever felt exhausted from the need to reassure your man of your fidelity resolve for him though? I'm only asking it, because of my situation.

[kangle]

Nope never. Its very rare when he needs reassurance. Mayb ur bf is going through rough patch mayb thats y he needs u. If it has been like this forever since u started relationship wit him, WITHOUT ANY REASON, then I guess ur bf is nit confident abut himself

[kangle]

Woops sorry forgot that a guy is asking this question

[kangle]

Its ok to ask for reassurance from a gal when u need it. Thats what a relationship is about. Esp u have to stand with each other during rough patch

[Asker]

Its true that I'm not as confident as I could be... sad enough...

[kangle]

U goin through any problem? Or r scared of losing ur gf or anyone dear?

[Asker]

Yes I do right now. I know its my own demon working my twisted mind now and she is probably the most innocent and maybe the most trustworthy person , but she did something fucked up in her past and it kinda makes me think twice about trusting her... so I feel like I always need reassurance for her attraction and fidelity for me...

[kangle]

If u can't trust anyone, then ur relationship is useless. Of u truly love her gv her one chance. If u let suspicion in ur relationship, it would ultimately collapse hurting both of ur self respect. Decide first. Can u trust her? Do u love her? Everyone has a past. Dont let it break ur relationship unless u r too sure about d fact that she would ditch u...

[Asker]

Thanks. I have decided to trust her for real. Its just my inner demons working the cogs and just makes me super sensitive to everything. However I know it is going to take some time.

[kangle]

Yep if u truly love her give her a chance. Maybe it would save ur relationship n ur love:)

[Asker]

I think most important, save my soul. save myself from self-induced agony.

[kangle]

Yep suspicion kills u frm inside:)

[Anonymous]

They do need reassurance. My bf loves it and I try my best to reassure him of our relationship. He's sensitive in the best way, where he can be sensitive and caring but also when the time comes manly and dominant. I think a lot of men find this balance within their lives and their relationships and most females love it. It's like having the best of both worlds.

[Theguyoverthere]

Whatever I am bringing to the relationship should be given back to me just out of respect alone. If I am helping her out on a bad day, I'd like the same when I have a bad one as well. It's only right. So if she needs reassurance and I give it to her, it means I'd like some myself.

[noahsdev]

I'm a guy who would never dream of opening up emotionally. I am definitely there to support her, but I believe it somehow shows weakness. That being said, I would want my partner to reassure me anyway. It's a two way street.

[Asker]

So it means that you would want your partner to reassure you without you having to mention it to her as it exposes your weakness for a need to open up emotionally to her about it?

I'd like that too if that's what you mean. I think I do not need a girl to love me, but I need a girl to be obsess about me...

[jointhepatriarchy]

Men have feelings too. Society seems to forget this a lot, even the men.

[Asker]

A lot of men just think that its un-manly to show that they need help, especially with the feelings department. and sometimes I feel that girls feel that they should hide and suppress their need for these feelings in order to be independent and be treated as an equal as a man...

If I admit I need reassurance as well, I'm afraid that she might think I'm a weaker male...

[LittleSally]

They do... they really do...

[Asker]

share your experiences?

[LittleSally]

Just everyday observations. And, in my experience, men can be just as needy (if not more) than girls. I don't understand the whole concept of STILL being desperate for the girls attention ONCE you actually get her to be your girlfriend... O. o

[Asker]

So you mean the moment one gets into a real relationship, or marriage, you'll not need any additional attention? To me, maintaining a relationship is WAY more important than getting into one.

I feel its just a modern woman thing. Modern woman want to show that they can be independent on their own, and any signs of showing weakness (like showing neediness, or want to let their guard down to be dependent on her partner, etc) is just countering the modern woman's desire to prove everyone wrong. Modern women have been conditioned to think that they can be anything they want to be and not rely on men for anything. Don't get me wrong, I do not think there is anything wrong with women going out there getting their own share of fairness and equality.

However, it kinda changes the dynamic of a relationship where both genders have their guard down, to be more intimate, to be reliant on one another to become one unit.

[Asker]

Instead now the modern women have built a kind of defense mechanism to not back down in any circumstance and to defend their rights, despite the situation, and sort of behavior is easily observed in any group of people that have been collectively deprived of their rights at some point in history (women, blacks). IT is not wrong to defend your rights and stand up for yourself, but it just changes how women react to relationships in today's world. They forget that in a relationship, its ok to let your guard down and take a step back when need be, just as men will also take a step down when the situation calls for it. Its ok to let your partner know that you feel very strongly for him.

Probably the thought of being let down or ditched by a man the moment a modern woman let her guard down and open her heart to be vulnerable again just freaks her out that she thinks its better to not be weak ever, to save herself the stark reminder that she is no different from the "weak deprived woman"

[Asker]

However, she can't help herself but to think that way, even though, at least I can say for myself that I do not and will not want to suppress my lady and make her feel like she is the weaker gender that have to be subservient to men. However, I do open myself all the way and be vulnerable, and toss myself into being in love, and seeing how my girl hold back subconsciously and her response being more timid makes me feel like why should I be so committed while she is not able to put herself fully into this relationship. I want to be loved even though its easier to be hurt just as much, Throw myself into the flames of passion and enjoy looking at the ambers burn and sparks fly around me, rather than plunging myself into lukewarm love that is forgettable and feel like nothing is happening..

[Anonymous]

Obviously. Just as much as women