Can we trust men?

[Anonymous]

Yes

NO

Updates

5 d

Which ones can be trusted?

[zeitgeist057]

I voted "no" because I don't think you should be so naive as to just trust so much. However, on the flip side, I like to trust everyone new I meet, at least to a certain point. That means I assume the best until they show me otherwise, but I'm also not handing over my car keys for them to borrow and just trust they will fill up the tank and bring it right back. Does that make sense?

Be friendly, be open, don't be mistrustful. But also, don't be so open you are giving way your bank PIN or the emotional equivalent. I just saw another question on here 'why do men lie about wanting a relationship in order to have sex with a woman?', which is very much a thing men do. Women also lie, so we could just say people lie and you can't trust people, either. But you shouldn't be mistrustful and scared of everyone you meet, that's no way to live.

I hope I'm making sense, I know it may sound like I'm saying both trust and mistrust. I'm saying be careful, but don't be scared. Like going out into the wilderness; just keep your wits about you and trust your gut instincts. Be cautious, but not overly so. Be prepared and aware that there are dangers out there, but that danger is not around every corner and in every shadow.

So to answer your "update question: which men should I trust?" the answer is that it takes time to get to know someone and how much you can trust them. Take a while to let them reveal who they are, everyone does eventually. Some people just have a facade that they can't maintain, others are genuine from the first moment. You will be able to see usually after a few weeks to months of being around someone whether their genuine personality is the same as what they first presented to you. I would be very wary the more change you see in someone from the original presentation to the long term.

[GunFhulangas]

The real question is can women trust themselves?

Soo many women nowadays in western society lack self respect, lack standards & lack responsibility. They will "hook up" with any guy who shows them even the smallest bit of attention at a bar or club or anywhere for that matter for some, sleep with him within a few hours for some girls, and then complain. And complain. And complain.

They refuse to look in the mirror and realize their poor ideology is why they are "used". Worse they refuse to learn from the experience and just keep doing it & complaining.

Life isn't fair. Children learn this the very first time mum or dad takes away their toys.

And people like free things.

If any woman is going to "give out" within the first 72 hours of knowing a man then why should he or any other man put in any effort or for that matter hang around?

It's not that men can't be trusted.

And more WHY or HOW can he trust such a woman?

To any man he's going to be thinking if she gave out to me within the first 72 hours HOW many other men has she slept with, HOW can I trust her in a relationship, WHY would I trust her. It's that simple.

Even the sleaziest of men are naturally programmed to seek a potential wife / mother of his child and a woman who gives out easily / quickly hours is NOT desirable. Yes some men find them desirable but this is bottom of the barrel men, welfare receivers, etc. because who cares if the woman's kid is their bastard they can still get money.

.

Reality is men are easily trustworthy.

Increase your standards, improve yourself, stop being worthy of nothing but being used by men who are turned off by the fact all you can offer is cheap, causal, easy sex.

[Hawkes_Lady]

As someone who was sexually abused on multiple occasions when I was young, I have a really hard time trusting men. They frighten me. When I look at a man, I see someone who is physically bigger and stronger than me. I see someone that can hold me down and take what they want.

Now, I know that not all men or like that. And in all actuality, most men are not like that.

But my experiences have shown me different. And it is very hard to not let the fear response take over.

I would very much like for a good man to show me that men, or at least, he, can be trusted not to hurt me but to love me gently and with love and care because I would so like to feel safe and loved in a man's arms. It is my greatest wish.

[Asad1ONE1]

But most men are not "big and intimidating" lol. What about the countless men and boys who are weak, cute and fragile looking? Lol

[Hawkes_Lady]

@Asad1ONE1 Unfortunately, my body and fear response can't differentiate between the good and the bad men. I have in the last few years been working on trying to find coping mechanisms to push down the fear when it rises up. And I have won some battles and lost some others. I know that not all men are going to hurt me, but my initial fear response tells me they will.

[Asad1ONE1]

I was referring to size lol. No way the shirt and small guys are intimidating

[Hawkes_Lady]

Thanks for the MHO!

[_Maya_]

Yeah of course. If you had a bad experience that makes you ask this you have to remember that all people are not the same and because one guy let you down with trust the rest are going to do the same thing. I've got guy friends that I trust a lot. In all the years of knowing them I feel comfortable sharing things and trust they have my best interest at heart. They haven't proven me wrong yet. Anyone regardless of gender can be trusted or not. It is much more about the person than the gender when it comes to qualities like that.

[Summeroflove]

Lmao. Well not all men are the same. It depends on the man the same as it depends on the woman. I don’t fully trust anyone I first meet.

[AviatorTom]

Best thing to do for anyone or anything... TRUST and VERIFY

[Lionman95]

I would say not per se but you can try to develop a trusting relationship with guys. That involves that you know what you want and that you take cautious actions like look for guys you want to get to know. Share life with them and try to build a trusting relationship.

[FreyaRed]

As much we trust other women and this is very individually. Generally it's difficult to trust specific group of people who just are nice and cooperative until they realize they don't get what they want and instantly turn in very unpleasant individuals. But this one big con of plenty pros.

[ARWINGx1]

I'd say it varies. Though I do know that I had a (literally speaking) "girl friend" who did break up with a number of exes.

Although I'm unable to get any more info from her, (as we haven't talked in years) chances are that misogyny were one of the reasons.

As for me, I am worried worried about how much of a headache my autism can be.

[Minahh]

Yes but we must be reaaaaly discerning!!!

Men who can be trusted
- shows consistency
- isn't aggressive
- proves himself to be a support in bad times
- isn't calling you names
- knows how to control himself
- isn't using manipulative tactics
- shows empathy
- has strong values he doesn't change

[Sweetsurprize]

I trust my dad with most things, like 90% of things really.

My family.

But random men? Your ex? ! Fuck that, no way lol.

[Ozanne]

I've seen this online and can't help but keep referring to it:

"It's not all men. But we don't know which men."

[loveslongnails]

Actually, it IS all men, just to varying degrees. No man is immune to patriarchal privilege, nor do we really understand what it's done to women.

[Asad1ONE1]

Exactly. And men feel the same about women.

[JosyJosy]

You can trust men as much as women. Thing is that some people, regardless of gender are pieces of shit and it's up to you to find out who is who.

[Anonymous]

You can trust the ones who you get to know and decide are trustworthy. I don't know why some women think this is a problem that's limited to women. Men have to take the same chances when investing their time in women. Many women also aren't trustworthy.

[Mamaliv]

You can trust who you choose, but it must be earned in my opinion and it is fragile. Personally I’d rather be naive so I don’t go searching unless it’s right in front of me.

[Anonymous]

Can you trust ALL men? No.
Can you trust SOME men? Yes.
Which ones can you trust? THAT'S the right question to be asking, but you didn't ask it.

[Opinion Owner]

Most guys can be trusted but the guys who can't be trusted are often very good at disguising their rogue ways. There is no substitute for spending time getting to know a guy before you trust him. If a guy is a player and courting you just in hopes of scoring in the bedroom, he won't hang around with you very long if he isn't making progress, so don't be so quick to jump in bed with a new guy. If he's the real deal, he'll be understanding and willing to wait.

[Anonymous]

No more of than we can trust women. There are liars and bigots in both genders. There are also good and honest in both. Judging all by a few in stupidity.

[ShesRad80]

you can't trust hardly anyone anymore - no matter male or female.

[love_conquers_lust]

At least you can trust that they're untrustworthy.

[jshm2]

We've got you this far, dumbass, so it's a moot point. Now get in the trunk and put the blind fold on...

[Constatine]

Can we trust girls?

And there we have it again...

The battle that started ancient ago 🤣😂

[Kaamraj]

You can trust men in that they will want sex and you can trust women in that they want resources (time, money and attention).

[serious_miss419]

Men are supposed to fulfill their own duties as providers while it fills their pride. The modern man for the past 20 to now years, has zero interest in being a responsible man. Women then and now should be able to receive that while you fill your pride and duty as men. Instead diverting their failures into gibberish that a woman has changed.
We up our duties to do it for ourselves because our depender can’t be relied on.

[Kaamraj]

@serious_miss419 - What is the parameter or measure of being a "responsible man?"

[love_conquers_lust]

@serious_miss419 You provide your own resources with equality and you give it up easily. What reason is there to better ourselves?

[zagor]

To do what? Call the next day? Fix your car? Give you correct change?

[tzdc21]

Lots of men can be trustworthy, and there are lots that aren't. Exact same can be said for women.

[inhua]

you can definitely trust feminist men to have women's "best" interests