Why do men love hurting ladies who have sacrifice a lot for the relationship, giving all she has just to be with that man she loves so much why do men end up hurting such ladies why?
The kind of man that most women are attracted to and chase are mostly NOT the men who will ever give them the things they say they value the most. Most women are chasing the top 10% of men - the kind all their friends want and the kind who make their friends jealous - but those men have exactly zero reason to commit to her or really stand by her, because those men have an endless amount of options. That means it's MUCH easier for such a man to simply dump that woman as soon as she becomes inconvenient in any way than it is to deal with her - and there's a line of other women waiting to take her place. I'm not defending these men morally - I don't agree with treating people that way - but it is the women chasing these men that enable those men to behave the way they do.
The kind of men that would DO the things women want: the men who would protect her, defend her, and not hurt her - are largely invisible to most women. They're not the best-looking guys or the wealthiest guys or the most popular guys, so women don't find them exciting or attractive - and it is WOMEN who are prioritizing excitement and attraction over morals and values and commitment, because they're never going to get those things from the kinds of men that most of them are chasing.
This has been, and continues to teach "normal" men not to commit to women either. Every man has a friend who has been destroyed by a woman who decided she was bored or "not happy" with her life and decided that it must be her man's fault, and so she left him, and often used the courts to financially rape him on the way out. Tons of men are barely allowed to see their own children, and have the mothers turn those children away from him. Men know that women file for divorce 78% of the time (and 90% of the time if she's a college graduate), and get custody of children 83% of the time.
A recent poll showed that 1/3 of women admitted to accepting dates from men they have no interest in just to get free meals and entertainment.
It's hard for most men to have much sympathy for women in this respect. WOMEN are the ones who choose who they date, and women will NEVER take another man's advice if he cautions her against some guy. You need to take accountability for your own choices, just like men do.
Why do womans love hurting mans who have sacrifice a lot for the relationship, giving all he has just to be with that woman he loves so much? Why do womans end up hurting such mans, why?
Same question for you/womans as well. Don't you talk like ther is a man majority who do this. I'm in the exactly oposide situation, wher girls had hurt me and i had olso friends who had been destroyed by womans. My best friend get in to the hospital for crazy people for the reson and the way a girl brake up whit him and he just simply accept it (the brake up).
A woman back stab me one time, other wanted me to do something i didn't want and hurt me for "revange" because i refuse that thisng
Ther are mans who lose hous, life economys, cars, own healt, theyr own childrens because of womans. I didn't hear so much storys about womans going crazy or losing themself because of mans, comparing whit storys of mans losing themself because of womans.
I may be a woman and I wish I could answer this question but I know your just searching for a guy to be honest about why he would hurt someone he says he loves or likes.
All I can tell you is I understand your feelings and I'm sure many guys wonder to themselves why a woman would leave them broken, if there is something they did wrong or was it her. I think we want to believe that the people we feel so strongly for would never hurt us and when they prove to be capable we slip into this idea that they will hear our feelings and understand how much it hurts us and won't do it again. Reality is if they do it again they you know they don't respect you anymore and did not seem to grasp your importance, so now your felt feeling pressure and confused because your heart hurts and you don't want to believe that they hurt you again on purpose. But they did.
Many times it is both the way they act and how we react that creates disrespect between both of you. This does not excuse him but you not walking away allows him to test your buttons and how far you will allow him to hurt you since you ignored the fact that he no longer respects you. This is when we should know to leave, but we don't, so we end up hurt and wondering why we are in a place of pain. Please don't let this guy affect your heart because you needed to learn what respect and reliability meant.
Any man that comes into your life that pushes your boundaries on repeat is a lesson to leave and look for the one who won't need to cross you to be content with himself. I'm sorry you haven't found the right guy but at least you know now what the wrong guy looks like. That man who loves you is waiting for you too don't keep him waiting. 😉❤️
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I’ve come to learn that the reason for men treating us the way they do is because they don’t think we are “the one.” The one is the person with whom they haven’t a single doubt that they will be the girl of his dreams for he rest of his life. Men don’t experience commitment the way women do. It’s not an honor to commit to one person it’s seen as a sacrafice. So they are honestly looking for a perfect woman and that’s impossible because nobody in the world is perfect. So what ends up happening is they chase the next best thing only to realize that each woman has her own flaws and that some of the flaws of the next woman may be something that isn’t surface level. They usually chase the MOST beautiful woman they can get hoping that she will have the heart of the woman they refuse to settle for. Men also have a hard time accepting that they themselves aren’t even good enough to a lot of the women they want because women have many options to choose from and usually won’t want to settle either. If a man can’t make his mind up about you he won’t say it. Usually he will just show you with his actions or lack of actions that he is having doubts about you. It’s up to YOU to have such high standards and awareness that you make the choice for him. Don’t let him take you for granted. If he is somebody you can trust he will prove it. If he isn’t he simply won’t. He will lie or cheat, if you breakup with him he will be relieved and only appreciate you if your home. But that’s just how life is unfortunately. He is who he is let
Men and women want two different things if women thought like men there wouldn’t even be relationships everyone would just be hooking up with who ever they thought was attractive. And if men thought like women we’d all be in relationships showing affection to each other. so if you want men to act like women then you should just be gay and call it a day
@chris_987 It's not my experience that men and women always want different things. I think a lot of it is cultural. I was engaged to an amazing and brilliant Indian-Australian man for several years - he was extremely relationship-oriented. He took the time to craft and build the connection between us - he was also concerned to cultivate the relationships between our families. I so admired his heart and mind - which is why this is the only man who has truly deserved my devotion. I adored him. We showed each other love and affection in all ways. He had no desire for some meaningless 'pump and dump' situation. My assessment is most men who want that are simply immature. I don't think it's that what they want differs from what women want.
How can you call us immature if you don’t have a penis, I don’t think a women who is the get a dick shoved in her can comment on what it’s like to have sex with a women, it’s would be immature of you to assume you know what it feels like to own a penis cause men don’t have a vagina and get the hymen broken during sex or feel pain like you guys do. So the lack of information you have about the male experience wouldn’t allow you to say if men are immature about sex just because they don’t want what you want
@chris_987 settle down, dude. I didn't claim to know what it feels like to have a penis. However, a human who is solely focussed on their sexuality (male or female, or non-binary, whatever), to the exclusion and detriment of cultivating meaningful relationships is immature. I stand by that.
You stand by something you can only speak from one perspective on and refuse to Hear another, you might to look up the definition of immature and see if your delusional. But I doubt you’d do anything cause you seem like the type that’s always right
As a lady, it’s more than just being attractive, since your gorgeous, you have to read people to avoid guys who try to trick you, the best of all woman might end up with jerks if they aren’t discriminating in the early stages of testing out the character of new partners, don’t be afraid to challenge him and ask questions since you have a right to protect your heart.
How many guys do you walk past everyday that don't fit your criteria of "good enough". Men with a lot of options, like women with a lot of options are going to be harder to trust. How can a guy trust a woman who's pregnant is even pregnant with his kids these days? If he works long hours to make sure you get the money you want so badly how does he know you aren't screwing other men behind his back while he's out of the house. The standards for these sorts of things are set by women in general, not men. Men don't get the final say on if there is sex. He can deny the girl but forcing such things is really only seen as acceptable or okay when it's the female pushing it. 70% of divorces are filed by women. Women get custody the majority of the time. Half of all relationships end in divorce. With numbers like that only a fool would gamble with the odds. Men are walking away because women are pushing them to do so. You want a man to stick around? Change the court system! End no fault divorce. "Until death do you part" is a vow so flippant to women today. It's downright irritating.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Wrong question on wrong plattform. Yes you can but gag become an incel plattform since reddit and youtube ban incel communities and now these incels are on gag. So you will get a lot of incel comments which is not a good advice. Also make sure that you make your account private if you dont want get harrassed by incels or if you dont want to get death treaths by incels. I got death treaths and insults by my lovely incel fans 🙃. Whatever. My opinion to your question is that you can trust men but you should be more active, and not passive. Shy, passive, typical feminine girls become the prey of manipulative toxic guys. Try to be more careful and make a research about his past relationships. He may be toxic in his past relationships too. I am not racist but black American men tend to be irresponsible and hate their own women IN MY Experiences -i only talk about my experience and not about all black men. The crime rate is higher among black men. I have been approached by black men who were kinda hateful towards their own black women which was weird and sad. If i were you, i would be careful when it comes to dating black men. But my post is anecdotal. So i can't generalize and i dont generalize. I just talk about my experiences
I'm not offended in any way. Just that these days when a girl tells another girl that she is gorgeous, it seems like she is shooting her shot and want a relationship of some sort. I blame the world though
Lol i really dont have anything against black men but black men who approached me were racist towards their own race aka black women which shocked me. I dont know lol. My black female friends had also a bad experience with black men. Whatever i can't generalize and it is anecdotal. Maybe it is an exception
@hi_it_is_me123 some black men don't like black women. That could have been me. I had huge lust for the white race but when I found the one for me in a black skin, I have been grateful ever since. I still admire the white race and know that no race is superior but I'm grateful that God gave me a black bride.
That's weird. Not all blacks are that way but most believe the white race is superior to them and hence they want to marry up even if it is to a 70 year old woman.
I believe some whites are the same way- racist against their own race too.
I am coming to find out for 90% of men today, no. I have been hurt since I was a child. Be it by my father, male family member, male peers, male classmate, guys I had as "friends" (not all thankfully), but a good amount and that also includes guys I have encountered all my life. SEX obsessed. They don't slow down, they don't want to stop, they disrespect women, even those who are more of what they say they desire, they don't respect you beyond sexually. It is sad. I find it heartbreaking that I get shamed for not being involved with a man sexually, not even dating all because I upheld my dignity.
@YesICan For your information, I am a virgin. Something is wrong with you if you assume every woman is screwing around men. I never dated, never had a boyfriend, been married, or even got involved with a man on any talks of that level. Sad, that I have to be the one to deal with your baggage and expectations that are unGodly and you dump them on me because I am not complying with the world's ways. I said no to premarital sex all of a sudden I am the worse woman on the planet. Shows where your brain is.
21 years old and that is all that is on your brain assuming I had sex with them all? You need to get your head checked and stop thinking like this of women. I have never done those things. I wouldn't be surprised what you did.
"For your information, I am a virgin." - Good for you, I guess.
"Something is wrong with you if you assume every woman is screwing around men." - Quote when I said "EVERY" woman is screwing around, please stop putting random words in my mouth.
"I am coming to find out for 90% of men today, no. I have been hurt since I was a child. Be it by my father, male family member, male peers, male classmate, guys I had as "friends"
I understand that you may had a troubled past (Most people did) but you should realize that just because you went trough all that trouble doesn't mean that most men are like that. Cause saying that 90% of men can't be trusted is hella disrespectful to the majority of us, but yet you feel entiteled to complain when someone ((Me in this case)) shows some disrespect back.
"21 years old and that is all that is on your brain? " Ma'am the thing I wrote was a small roast cause I can't take someone serious who's 29 years old and yet has opinions like this.
"Sad, that I have to be the one to deal with your baggage " What kind of baggage do you think I'm carrying? I think you're getting way to emotional now, cause this shit don't make sense to me.
First of all what the heck is a 21 year old with your freaking mentality coming on my comment feed with your nonsense? You are very disrespectful, called me a whore and you did for you to say "I didn't have to bleep all the men" when I never did! The hell is wrong with you? Have some freaking respect! And I did not have to put words in your mouth, you rebuild who you are. And for you to say "every" anything, firstly you only make one comment and that comment was referring to me as being a hoe.
When I say I'm a virgin I mean I am a woman of Integrity. I am a woman of respect. I am a woman of Honor. And I gained my values from God. I am not like you worldly people doing all these things. Especially when I have not done those things. You did not have to say everyone is screwing around you referred that every woman is going around because you referred it to me! Making a mockery out of me and those are the kind of thing I do not appreciate. So I can tell the kind of young man you become. And unattractive one and it has nothing to do with your looks. Your attitude and your character is highly inappropriate.
You make up the majority. And you don't want to see that you do. You all have your own ways of doing it but your behaviors is just the same. Disrespectful. I observed your behaviors, I study you, if I wanted to be a sociologist, you'll be the first thing I'll be ready to study besides women equally. Understand how a lot of your brains work which is why I stay away from a lot of me to have a mentality that is ungodly because you think these behaviors are normal and it's not normal. For you to be calling me out as if I'm a whore it's abnormal and you have no physical proof to be saying that I am when I'm not. You directly called me a hoe. Which is another reason why I said I am a Virgin to put you in your place. You that offended? You chose to disrespect me. You didn't have to. But you felt offended enough to disrespect me. So that says a lot about you and I would not like to be around you. That's exactly what I mean by 90%. You're that 90% I'm referring to.
I have a trouble pass because guys like you do not change. You're reminding me of the berry pass I try to run away from. Because of these behaviors. You want to know why a lot of women are respecting men, why a lot of women are growing afraid of men, cheating on men and that's not right either, dumping you because these are the behaviors that makes a woman not want to be around you. Don't know you do not understand because you're first, it shows you lack the understanding. That shows you have ignorance. And I can tell by your replies you have no desire to change from it. So nothing will ever make sense to you and I could tell what kind of bag is your caring and yet kind of banga shows that you feel unloved and disrespected that's why you think it's okay to show that kind of disrespect back to somebody who don't know. I've done nothing to you to want to be disrespected the way I am for you to say I didn't have to bleep all of them and then using God's name in vain. Says a lot.
So for every one of you men that want to respect me, Mark me, down with me because I'm revealing the truth about you, you can continue to do so. Thank God there are men out there who fully understand and rather not be around you either because you're bad influences. A lot of you men that have these issues are hurt, you have deep wounds that never got healed and then you want to Scar and hurt someone else. A lot of you are not okay, know what you're doing is not normal for a man to behave being towards your own peers or the opposite sex and a lot of you do need psychological help. I do not associate myself with people or men that utilizes that kind of language. Period.
@btbc92 wtf? I respect women who upheld their dignity. But I guess being a Christian is weird these days. I'm just going to say this to you, MAD RESPECT. I am in the same boat as you but with women. My mother abandoned me as a child. She drove off leaving me in the pouring rain when I was 11 in front of a liquor store to be greeted by creepy drunks. My 2nd grade teacher sexually abused me repeatedly for an entire school year. The women I was with cheated on me because I didn't want sex until marriage. I guess I wasn't allowed to be that way for having already been "damaged"
Ma'am I think it would be healthy for you to seek a good therapist, all the shit you wrote was irrational and made 0 sense. (( I mean this, I am not even joking)) It's okay tho, we all need therapy sometimes.
"You did not have to say everyone is screwing around you referred that every woman is going around because you referred it to me!" - You are not Every woman, you are you. Out of us two you are the only one shitting on a entire gender. I get it, you have been traumatized by your past experiences but still, don't expect compassion from people if you are not being compassionate yourself.
When I said " You didn't have to fuck all of them, God Damn." it was not meant to be taken seriously, i don't think you are legit sleeping around, it was a joke a roast if you want to call it.
"Have some freaking respect!" - Respect is earned, not just given like that. If it was just given it would have 0 value.
"So I can tell the kind of young man you become" -You as a 29 year old woman should know that you can't just judge people based on a few words they wrote, no matter how fucked up those words are (( Mine were not even that fucked up, you're just being dramatic over it))
"A lot of you men that have these issues are hurt, you have deep wounds that never got healed and then you want to Scar and hurt someone else"
Did my comment really scar you? I want your honest answer, did it really "SCAR" you? Or did it just slightly offend you?
"shows that you feel unloved and disrespected that's why you think it's okay to show that kind of disrespect back to somebody who don't know."
God damn it woman, why do you have to get so personal over a joke? I don't feel unloved, nor disrespected. Why are you pulling false assumptions out of your ass ma'am?
@t-8900 I'm sorry you went through that. I perfectly understand women do the same. The thing is I am not homosexual. I am a heterosexual woman who is not attracted to females obviously, which is why I am expressive as I am concerning that. But even when women judge me about it, I say the same.
@YesICan YOU need a good therapist. Everything you write is showing me you have 0 respect as Men who have respect have apologized to me for their peer's behaviors. I don't Sh*t on ANYONE. I respect EVERYBODY. But because I do not conform to this world I get targeted. You are mocking me, and I will not tolerate it.
@btbc92 "Everything you write is showing me you have 0 respect as Men who have respect have apologized to me for their peer's behaviors."
Only thing that was slightly disrespectful was the first thing I ever wrote but it was more of a joke but ay, i get why you take offence to that. Also men nor women should apologize for what their peer's are doing, can't be held accountable to what a different person is doing.
You still failed to come up with a valid counter-argument with my last reply so imma assume we are going to end it here right? The next thing im about to write is going to be my last reply to you ma'am.
You showed me how immature you actually are, expected more from a woman that is almost 30 years old. You deflected a lot of my arguments, you also twisted a lot of the words i said, you made a lot of negative assumptions based on little to no info about me (( Probably projected the behaviour of someone you know/knew onto me))
On the side note: It is immature to generalize people, no matter the gender men/women. We all get done dirty by people but instead of feeding on that negativity and becoming bitter it's better to realize that gender has nothing to do with the fact that someone is being shitty. It has to do with the parents, enviorment and overall character development.
"I have been hurt since I was a child. Be it by my father, male family member, male peers, male classmate, guys I had as "friends" "
- You had a dark upbringing and I can also notice that those scenarios ( Rightfully) made you biased against men, that's why I said for you to seek therapy. It was a genuine suggession, I was not trying to disrespect you with that, nor to put you down. A stable father figure is important growing up, and clearly you didn't have that and I'm sorry that you had to miss out on that. But despite that, you are in the wrong for saying 90% of men are like that, it's disrespectful if you want to admit it or not. It would be the equivalent of me calling all women bitches just cause a few of them cheated on me. Do you not realize what im trying to say? Anyways, this the last thing I'm going to write, you do you but realize this, it's not my fault nor the guy's next to me for the suffering you're experiencing.
Good bye now, I hope you get well one day.
PS: You should know it's rude and immature to block people in the middle of an argument.
@Asmir1999 STOP creating multiple accounts to harass me. You've been blocked for a reason. I am not wrong for saying 90%. If you are not the 90% I am referring to, it has 0 to do with you. You showed and proven you are 90% and you get told what you showed was deserving. So while I have my own healing to do. I know better not to harm and hurt others. Which you took liberty in doing. You are not sorry. What you did was deliberate.
No. It's not rude or immature. It's called having BOUNDARIES. And I enforced my boundaries. The next time you come harassing me about whatever because you didn't like what I said, you be reported for creating multiple accounts. Me having a dark past have 0 to do with it. It is how you choose to treat people. And you chose to treat me with great disrespect and I don't even know who you are, but again, you chose to disrespect me. My family problems are not your business. My experiences as a whole aren't your business. But I shared to prove a point. And you proved my point why most men cannot be trusted. NOT what my dad did, not what other men did. But what you CHOSE to show in public and I see it from afar. I know to judge a person's character and anybody who has character traits that don't align with what I desire to be around are not people I once again, mingle with. I respectfully leave you alone and asked not to be bothered by somebody who behaves with your attitude. I have the right to chose who I desire and do not desire to have in my company. I have learned my lessons concerning the bad company and bad influences in my life. firstly I said 90, I didn't say "all". So if you want to say all women are that, you show that is how you think. I never said all. I said 90%, which means 10% of men are not like that. That is still a somewhat higher number. Was everybody like that as a child. NO. I study people. Many of you chose those dark paths and you drag everybody into your mess.
If somebody isn't pranking on another kid, you are too good. If you do as the teacher says, you are a teacher's pet. If you aren't dating or having sex with different people, then you must be gay, a prude or asexual. Do you think I don't have anything to say about other females either? No different. But I am not a homosexual. I am not messing with another female. So what other girls do have nothing to do with me, unless they affect how men like YOU will treat me. See you expect me to treat you like sH*t. But that is not ME. But if you give me a reason not to be kind, then I am not going to just be nice to you because you asked me to. So your right, respect is earned. And you sir, have LOST my respect the moment you made that distasteful comment.
@t-8900 You're not damaged goods. You like myself is a victim. And we have to overcome our circumstances. You are not at fault for what others have done to you. You are not the problem. Those people are.
I am not going to argue with you. You wanted to start an argument and you deliberately chose to pick what you want to hear. You have that much immatureness within yourself. I am not that immature. I speak from observations not just from my own personal experiences. The asker would NOT have this question if this wasn't TRUE. Most men decades ago were not LIKE THIS. Many of you are BROKEN PEOPLE who need help. I can admit my faults. Many of you have so much pride. And your pride holds you back from listening and hearing from other people. I can HEAR you and UNDERSTAND YOU. But do not have a desire to understand me or those who are equally hurt. So no, there is a difference. Like this other gentleman asking me. HE respects me, I CAN RESPECT HIM. You don't see him cursing me out, calling me a whore. Yet we have our differences. I can discern. You are not who you say you think you are and want to be seen by other people. It is YOU who brings out that side of me because you do not want to understand anything except what you want to hear. I do not do that to other men. I can tell the difference. Can you? No, you obviously cannot and don't want to, or you wouldn't have said anything. You replied because you know it refers to you. You did not have to reply on my feed. You just wanted to attack.
@t-8900 If you want to message, you can message. I am going to be busy on and off, but you can leave a message and I will be sure to respond as quickly as I can.
That 90% isn't indicative of every man, but is indicative of every man who's on your radar. All the other men, decent men which you claim don't exist, you plainly cannot see them. If someone wants to be around you, they're gonna act the way you've indicated they must act.
Actually no. Not on my radar, anybody who isn't of Godly standard. If your of the world and your treating women ungodly and you refuse to change your the 90 I am referring to. This is by actual observations and interpersonal experiences not my rader. You wouldn't be on my rader and I wouldn't care what you do. J have decent men so far as friends. They respect me. I can sense things about people so I can tell who's decent and who isn't and I can see them because thank God by having the spirit of God I know who was who. They will not be around me because I would not allow and thank God, God wouldn't allow it either.
I never said decent men don't exist so please do not put words in my mouth. I know what a decent man is versus who is not. A lot of you sadly do not understand that y'all think you're a decent man but you're not decent man. You have to grow, you got to make sure, and you got to become the man that you stay and close y'all want to be or you think because you do good works that makes you different. God looks at the heart. He knows he's not good. In fact the word of God says there's no one good. Not even me. I can sense a good heart about a person because I am worn to a person who has that kind of light within themselves. Anyone who's of Darkness will not be able to hang around me because that light would not allow them to come close to me in the first place. That 90 is very must indicate of of every man who is complaining so much about the 80-20 rule. I'm hearing about a man cheating on his wife, is that man on my radar? No. I work at a store and I'm seeing three men trying to sexually harass me, is that man on my radar? No. I did not go to the store to be harassed. I see Men Behaving like jerk to the geeky kid. Is that kind of men on my radar? No. I see a man cursing out his girlfriend, is that man on my radar? No. I hear group of men saying the p word and laughing and thinking it's funny. Are those men on my radar? No. I hear a man talk about how good was he was doing to this girl was doing yesterday, is that man on my radar? No. Stop assuming every man is on my radar. I could pick up anything regarding people and that includes females also. You don't think 90% of females are not all that decent nowadays either? I watch people. And who I decide to have as company. Godly people wants to be around other Godly people. That doesn't mean we don't try to understand and get along with different people who are different from us. But what makes anybody think we want to be around people that is toxic and unhealthy also?
Actually I let people be themselves. I don't try to make people try to act or behave a certain way around me unless they chose to. I can tell who is actually real and I can tell who are not genuine. I can tell when someone is trying to hide and I can tell when somebody is out in the open. I don't just look at how a person is in front of me I also get to see how the person is also when I'm not around. It's when you're not around a person and they don't think you're noticing is when you really get to see the true colors of an individual. And concerning men on that level, I am realizing that about 90% of them cannot be trusted on that level. Not in this day and age. I can see a decent man. I seen plenty of decent men have manners, respect, don't hang around those with lifestyles that is determined to their well-being and to others. Men who not only respect women but respect their peers. Men who shine light and not Darkness. And then you got those who do not and that is very plenty. You have a few who are just misunderstood. I am not looking at the guys that are misunderstood, I am misunderstood person myself so I understand their struggles. However, I am talking about those who knows very well what they do. If you even look at my profile and see the amount of opinions I have and how many times I always got to have a troll calling me a Karen, or any derogatory name then you will see what I am saying. Like I said it's not all about them liking you but about who you are in this world and to this world. If people don't like your spirit they're not going to like you regardless Who You Are. Many women will not be coming on this site one to know why many of them are having these problems if it was just my radar. I don't just read what goes on in the usa and what's going on all around the world. And I'm seeing this is a worldwide problem not just a local one.
@YesICan I have to agree with you. This woman sounds batshit crazy to me. Btbc92 - If you don't want to have sex before marriage that's totally cool, but you need to understand that narrows your dating pool significantly. Don't throw shade at men in general for wanting sex. Most people - including women - want sex. There's nothing wrong with that. I think what you are classifying as "sex obsessed" is actually just standard sexual arousal and orientation. You certainly don't need to conform to that if it's against your beliefs, but you can't expect others to subscribe to your belief system and get distraught when they don't, then label men as untrustworthy because they don't subscribe to your ideology. If you've been lied to or cheated on that's a different story - but I don't think that's what's going on as you say you don't even date.
Firstly, I don't know who you think you are. Or where you came from. But I would appreciate it if you're going to disrespect me to please get off my comment fee. What I personally could choose to do with my personal life is none of your business. I do not care about some dating pool or any of that worldly nonsense. If you want to fool around at you. And don't put words in my mouth or misinterpret what I say. Did I say it's wrong for you to want sex? No. The word of God says if that's what you desire you get married. And it's not sexual arousal or orientation. I am in straight heterosexual female whose libido is no different than any normal human being. I know what a good man looks like because if that's the case why so many of you are single? Why so many you have so many sexual partners if you can't even keep one? Why so many you got to beat working out in the street and me doing all these nasty things on Facebook and explain yourself and manners and then you want to know why men are calling you out as something derogatory and have no respect for other women either not even themselves? The please do not bring this as if I'm the one just trying to tell other people what they are and what they are based on what I personally believe because y'all believe the same thing and you disrespecting and hurting each other. So please cut the BS. Cuz I'm pretty sure others treated you that way too and that's by your personal choices.
@NicoletteXO It is people like yourself I refuse to hang around. Plenty of people who do not share my personal beliefs and they don't act crazy like the rest of you people. I don't have to throw shade at men or anybody else. I don't throw shade at anybody. If you feel offended that tells me a lot about you not me. I am not a threat to your livelihood. You feel threatened because I'm not the type of person to Conformity how you choose to think and then when men treat me a little bit better than you because of your personal choices than you want to come and attack me and talk about how I'm just trying to steal someone's man or do something to you as if you own man when you don't. That is how toxic and crazies the rest of you are. Yeah they want sex all right and then after they finish done with you didn't want someone like me who never been up until about how you're damaged goods. But that's the kind of man you want? Then you get those men cuz those are the kind of man I would have avoid it. I ain't opening up my list of those kind of men. But y'all women do it so I think that says a lot about that and where you're just throwing shade at me because you its the truth.
I could want that too. But you don't see me hopping from God a guy and every guy I take interest in so there's a huge difference. Then when they don't just want you then you're jealous and fighting other women for the same man who is just using all of you the same. And then you want to know if he's still interested, is he only looking at you, why is he looking at Instagram girls, while he's looking at this girl, why she's treating you that way. I'll tell you why he's doing that to all of you. Because that's what you want, that's what you allow, and that's what you tolerate. So don't go around judging me it's about what I need to understand. When are y'all women going to wake up? A man who have respect for himself and a woman does not behave that way. They don't lust, they're gentlemen, they have attributes that is Godly. They have self-control, and they don't do what y'all women think that a man should be behaving as. Effects of stress man is exactly the kind of men you women go after and then after they took your virginity, fooled around, got you pregnant, and did all the stuff then you want to know why you're in that mess. Those are the men you want. Thank God I know not every man is like that. A man can have a high libido and still can respect himself. He doesn't have to turn the pool on for masturbation just to get something. He doesn't have to see a woman like a piece of meat. You can see a woman and still have respect for her. A lot of women don't even know what a respectful and loving man is. And many of you think you're not deserving of one. Many of you have not had good examples of one either.
So please stop making it out like it's all about me because a lot of you are on here complaining about these same men yourself at least I know why these men are like that. So you yourself is being a hypocrite. I know men who going through the same struggle and they are dealing with the same issue with women too. And many of those same men do not want to deal with women like you and they are avoiding you like a plague. So take a look in the mirror and evaluate yourself cuz I take a look in the mirror every single day.
Women like you want to settle for less you go settle for less. Why do you think many men do not want to wait for marriage because they want free sex, they don't want the responsibility or feel tied down to a woman and then you looking for commitment and then you want to know why you don't have it. Because you're showing your not respected in their eyes to have that kind of relationship. I can tell just by how you're behaving towards me you feel threatened or it offended by what I had to say because you know it's true. You're 35 years old and you mean to tell me you don't have anybody to really have as a serious partner? I think I know why. If you choose to lower your standard to the ground you stand on simply because you are that desperate for any man to pay attention to you that says a lot about you and tells the men a lot about you. A man needs to be challenged. And a man wants a woman who not only he can respect but who can respect herself and can respect him equally. If you are not a person and a woman of standard, then a lot of men will not respect you and then they start thinking that every woman and every female which is why lot of them have sexist attitudes to begin with, start thinking very less of females and women because of how you portrayed to them in the real world. You better think about that before you want to start calling me batseye crazy. I can tell you plenty of testimonies of many men whose respect I earned because I stuck to those values anx proven myself. The only reason why a lot of these men are like that because you became like that. A lot of these men don't want to be like that. But they feel they have to because they think you don't want a decent man. It is still Choice either way.
You want to tell her what you talking about. Then you better turn to a man called Kevin Samuels. Who had over a hundred women in his college days, two failed marriages, and is telling women like yourself who's past 30 your beyond expiration date, because you didn't get married and you didn't have children. And millions of men are flocking to this man's Channel practically every single day while you calling me crazy. They're plotting going much younger than you and I and then you're dating pools getting more smaller every single time you aging up also. And you have nerve to judge me. So no offense I really hope you're not one of those pick me girls. Putting another woman down so you can feel secure about yourself. Is not about me attacking or shaming men so please take that attitude elsewhere.
If you believe that then where is your husband? You want to make every man your husband in divorce them and you want to call me back so I crazy? Does sex feel that good to you that you got to go shaming me who didn't bother to do that all because I believe in having a stable relationship and you're not stable yourself? Evaluate your own life sister because I am not 35 popping with every man who knows how many partners you have. Don't go around judging me call me back like crazy when every men who wants to hop in and out your panties is doing something because you are allowing them. You called me legit crazy but a lot of them don't respect you. So I'm just going to ignore you could you just seeking freaking attention and is harrassing me.
Your sex life or lack of it is not my business and my sex life or my lack of it is none of your damn business. I am not using a man for sex and it's something that's valuable and precious do the things of God. I am not going to disrespect myself, dishonor my body, dishonor my God, or any another man all because you can't learn to keep your legs closed. What goes on sexually between me and who I am married to. Not every Tom, Dick and Harry. And I am not having that kind of filthy lifestyle around me.
You are literally the most misogynistic woman I have ever encountered. You are a sex-hating ideologue, who purports to be Godly, yet is actually extremely dark and toxic. Your rants reveal your crazy. I really don't have to say anything else. Your insanity is self-evident and obvious.
It's actually tragic that you denounce something you have no experience of whatsoever. Ignorance and hubris is an ugly mix, and it doesn't look good on you.
@NicoletteXO No, that is just you. I don't even know who you are or your name. At this point you not relevant, I'm not sex-hating or anything else. And I do not have to answer to you. I have to answer to God. God knows my heart and I have my relationship. So keep your personal toxic feelings to yourself. A person like you is literally a snake. Seeking who to bite and deceive. I am not misogynistic and any of the ridiculous name-calling you want. My rants show I am literally sick of people like you and your nonsense and BS and you want to dump your toxic baggage on me. I have more important things in my life, and the next time you bring your toxic miserable butt on my feed, you are blocked. I have been lenient and patient and it is running very very thin. And if you make another account to harass, then you getting not only blocked again but reported. I know who I am and I am not any of those things. So instead of accusing me of what you want to accuse me of, look at your self and stop trying to force your baggage and beliefs and opinions on me.
Like I said, you ladies who behave as you do, do what you do too. And you are one of those people I put in the 90% I avoid. And exposing your sex life out there. I honestly do not care what you do in private or with whom and how good so and so did what. I do NOT entertain it. And my private business, I wouldn't tell you anyway. Like a snake in the grass, you'll try and sabotage that also. You revealed what kind of person and woman you are, and I will not continue this conversation further, because you personally as an individual are a hindrance to my life and personal happiness. God has better things for me in life, and it is not having toxic individuals like you in it. Please respectfully go elsewhere. I said it not once, but twice. The third time, and it's you seeing "You have been blocked/was blocked by the user." That will be my final answer to you. Go in peace.
@Asmir1999 you speaketh the truth! Your perpectives are reasonable, calm, logical and perfectly on-point. Mother Superior here appears to have entirely lost her marbles.
That whole expression indicates that your working field is not 10%, but less than 10% of all men who are are up for consideration. You're only assessing that 10% of the men you can ever see are worth while. I don't doubt, then, that the issues you have with trusting men are self inflicted. If your view on the world indicates that more than 90% of men are unworthy, you are your own problem, factually. I can't know your qualifiers, but they are far outside the bounds of what could be considered actionable. On those grounds, it's extremely unlikely that you would find a man you could trust, not just because you've set the bar on them at god-like standards, but then, after cutting more than 9 out of 10 men out of the picture, their desires must be considered.
Even modest assessments of men find that 8 out of 10 women are even worth trying to know. In this day and age eventrying a first date would indicate men have 11-20 times more trust in their romantic interests than you have in men overall.
You realize that I am if anything would only need and be with 1 partner for the rest of my life right? So 10% is still a big number which I believe is over 100K of men in the world that is alive amd breathing that isn't like that.
A man I can trust is a man who believes in marriage to have sex. As a starter and the rest falls into place. So that is not my failure. I have my virginity. And never smoked, partied, drinked, did drugs, watch porn, masturbate, entertaining violence, sexually explicit material, being a bully, go to bars or clubs, may I add more on the list? You people done this. I never did those things.
I just met another guy on here that I can say is in the 10% a Godly man who sadly is looking for the right woman but in the wrong places. I can easily weed out hundreds of thousands without a problem. I wouldn't even have to be dating you all just to know immediately who the weed out. I can listen good hundred with the top 10 subcategories equal 100 and I bet you you can't even fit the entire list. From what you sound like. I'll give you a hint. You already failed on the emotional needs Department.
Sex being your primary reason for dating is the #1 area women distrust men.
The biggest dealbreakers for myself is a man who:
1. Isn't a virgin. truly. As in you never messed with sex toys, and had no premarital sex out of your own free will. 2. A man who believes in premarital sex. 3. A man who lusts after women. 4. A man who comes to me based on physical attraction alone and doesn't want a friendship. 5. A man who believes in that friendzone mentality. 6. A man who believes in the "Wall" mentality about women. According to a man who has a preference for dating 30 and younger. 7. A man who watches pornography 8. A man who masturbates 9. A man who goes to bars and strip clubs 10. A man who has such friends who goes to bars and strip clubs, and they are bad influences where he doesn't even know how to make up his own mind 11. A man who was a bully and Bullies others 12. A man who has no respect for his peers 13. A man who is disrespectful to his own family especially his parents 14. A man who smokes, drinks, does drugs or parties 15. A man who is demanding in a disrespectful manner especially towards women. 16. A man who is not willing to get an education or at least a certificate 17. A man who thinks he doesn't have to be a protector, a provider or leader. Simply a man who refuses to wear the pants. 18. A man who thinks he can order me around just because he wears the pants 19. A man who isn't kind, gentle, or is at most meek ( regardless of personality) 20. A man who believes in abortion 21. A man who doesn't want kids
@btbc92 I mean no disrespect because we had that little chat but I think what you are asking for simply does not exist. I can see a man not doing a large portion of those things, but not all of those things in one man. And tbh I think it's unreasonable. Some of those things are understandable. No abortion, sex before marriage, not a bully, not visiting strip clubs, just to name a few. But it almost sounds like you want to marry a saint which imho is not realistic. again no disrespect intended.
You realize I could name at least a few people on this website when I just met yesterday and who just confirmed that to me today, plus a few other guys that I met in real life to actually to my surprise shock you? I told you. I know what to look for. You are who you attract.
What it is that you men are not like that yourself within you expecting somebody like me to just bother. If I am all those things as a woman what makes you think is impossible?
interesting but people lie all the time. And I would not agree you "are what you attract". My dad put his life on the line saving two people from death. But my mom couldnt sacrifice her time to be a mother or wife. The world is just not that black and white.
I'll give you a hint. Men that you want to call Saint do not hang around men like you. They're the ones that you sometimes call Gay, the p word, and everything else under the sun which I find very derogatory and disrespectful. Anything is possible if you work towards that. Like I said. Women like me exist we just hiding from me. Just like you men like myself exist. They're hiding from guys like you and then hiding from other women who are not like myself. One thing I notice about men like that they don't advertise themselves which I happen to personally like.
Then it's a good thing to have the Holy Spirit, spiritual discernment, and hearing the voice of the father. And what I sent in the spirit I immediately knew those men was definitely Godly. But you will never know that because what you consider as his normal talk, there is a lot of hidden meaning when a godly man speaks how he speak. You see, spiritual people have a different language.
I'll give you fictional men examples. Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings. He is a man of Valor, he is courageous, he knows how to respect his peers, even if he was to get a drink or two, he knows how to hold his liquor and he does not indulge in bravado. He is tactful, and mindful of the situation and an environment around him. He knows how to court a woman and he knows how to speak to one. He treat every woman with respect as well as his fellow peers. He does not bring another person down, even if he feels weak, and insecure, and feeling like he's inadequate. He wouldn't be crowned King at the end of the movie if he was anything but what you want to say as not possible. There is definitely men like that. Just that a lot of them in this day and age I highly insecure because the world no longer respects that kind of man. The same way the world no longer respects women like me.
I do not have to know your past to I know your heart and your spirit. You're just using the past as an excuse to not change and to look forward towards the future. You too busy being your past, instead of becoming a man who is able to grow.
I can sense from your spirit. You desire to be that man. Truly, you only making fun because you feel very insecure. You always desire to be that man. It's just one problem. You don't know how and now you feel stuck. Tell me I'm lying.
how do you know? You just said all those things. What happens if when someone was younger they masturbated or something like that? But you judge them by the past, not the present so you're wrong. No one's even talking about premarital sex. At least I'm not. Anyways tbh I feel like you are one of the most judgmental people I've ever talked to in my life. Are you without any sins? Jesus forgave a prostitute and made a murderer a disciple. Don't forget that.
I didn't say that you were making fun of me. I said the men that you say that don't exist when they do exist. Why can't you learn to be that man? I am very socially aware than you think. I don't conform to this world so naturally you will assume that. You feel judged because again, you made those decisions but you never made peace with the decisions that you made.
I read the book of Matthew and I understand what the scriptures mean by that. Whatever problems you have please knock and seek God concerning that situation. I cannot help you with that situation. So I don't know why you looking to me as if I'm the only one who can save you. There are plenty of people out there who was in the same boat as you and has done the same or similar to you. I have not done those things am I not entitled to a person who is similar to myself? There are plenty of women again who was in the same situation. Or other versions who does not have an issue with that. For me I require a lot more because I work hard for more. So I asked you to please stop taking it personally. That list had nothing to do with you it had to do with those who had applied. You're the one that feels unhappy so I highly suggest that you work towards getting yourself healed in those areas. As I am doing for myself. Because when you tell me to read the book of Matthew what you're trying to say is that you feel hurt because you are already trying to make me as if you're the one that wants to date me. And I'm sorry. I'm not looking to date, I'm not looking for a relationship. And I am entitled to the kind of man I am aware that is best compatible with me. So please don't use your rejection as an excuse to attack me.
Because literally if you've done something once you are disqualified from "being that man". I also have a hard time believing a man meets 100% of that criteria except for Jesus Himself. Obviously you have not done those things, you aren't a man. You don't share a lot of those same interests lol. Some of those things as well are subjected to levels of libido. It could be very possible that you have little or even no libido. And "rejection"? I never talked to you about going out. We discussed spirituality and being friends. I never said anything about dating. And frankly I wouldn't be interested in that way. I think you're a contradicting person, just being honest. On the one hand you lecture about judgement, on the other hand you judge. On the one hand a Christian knows on Christ can save, on the other hand you claim you have the ability to save. Like WHAT?
You have 21 steps which men must surpass to meet your qualifications. That's fine if you're 14, but being 29, you've 10 years left to find a man who wants to have children, and less than a year to marry and do the deed. Make no mistake, you won't fulfill your goal without breaking your rules. Women who haven't set the bar too high have no issues locking down a man by this age. That's because women are conditioned to overvalue themselves, and men are conditioned to be disposable amenities.
I'm not here for you. I'm here to expose that most-specific toxic aspect of women who see themselves as superior beings, and to display just what happens to them. You have the whole internet at your disposal and, by your own admission, found a singular man who passes all your tests. Assuming he's not lying, and that he has the means to come to you, or bring you to him, the odds that you're each compatible are extremely low. Honestly, your fear of, then rectified with demands of, men are inhuman. I don't believe for a moment that your qualifications are real, not without some degree of psychosis.
In short, I'm calling your a liar in an age where I'm not allowed to question women.
@t-8900 I am not dating you. So I honestly do not see the point in you taking this personally when what I PERSONALLY would desire in a man has 0 to do with you. I made it very clear. There are women out there that would be better off for you than me if that is what you really wanted. And God is in control. If he doesn't want me involved with a man, I am not getting involved. His word is law.
You can question women any way you want. I encourage you to adopt that list as a means to learn from, study, and do something with yourself instead of complaining. You don't meet that, that is my right. You do not have to date me, there are men who would like to. At the end of the date, it is still MY CHOICE. And if you don't want to become that person for yourself, I am not going to force you. My rules are my rules. I don't want a man who does things on that list. I didn't even list the rest. You're that offended? Not my problem. I have had that list since a child. As a child, I am certain you didn't do all of these things. So if you have done so over the years by PERSONAL CHOICE. Guess what? You have free will to choose. I never made those choices. YOU DID. So date and be with women who don't care. I do. And for your information. I have no time limit of when I can and CANNOT DATE. YOU are not GOD. HE is in control. If he wants a man for me, he will do so with or without your permission. Got it? So honestly, what I do with my life is none of your damn business. Am I clear? I would have told you to your face. Id don't need the internet to do it for me.
Probably because you are insinuating I'm not a good or Godly person because I can't be because of past mistakes. That's how I took what you were saying to me.
@TwinTonyz So I do not think I am superior to you. I have morals and standards. You see yourself as low and so what do you expect others to treat you? Low. If you don't share those standards that's fine. You have free will to CHOOSE however way you desire to live your life. God is the judge. Not me. I have the right to prefer to have a person similar to myself. The odds are not low, they're greater. The difference is I am in the wrong place, the wrong area to have that kind of man, so I am not worried about that. My concerns are my education, getting a better stable job, moving out of the country, wouldn't dare date an American man anyway. A lot of you are far too lost when it comes to dating. So don't worry, be glad when I leave from here anyway. And settling down in an place of my own somewhere else. AND if I wasn't celibate and I desire to be with somebody, you can bet I know how to date and court properly and whom to have if that is of my choosing. You men just see a woman, you go and just chase skirt. I think that says all I NEED to know. You see that and you think nothing else. So I know you don't question you're just trying to make me look bad. I learn now not to care on that level. Again, you made your choices. I get called a prude, and everything else. But funny how some of those same guys now are happy I stuck to my values. So why do you feel so threatened by me? You have more than I do, more life experience, dated before. Why feel threatened by me? I thought I was lesser than you?
@t-8900 Because you have rejection problems. And that can only be addressed by a professional counselor. I highly suggest you start there instead of worrying about a woman.
Rejection problems? Wth are you even talking about? Didn't we just establish I didn't want you like that? You're delusional like you need your ego stroked. Penpals doesn't mean anything more than a friend you talk to from time to time about life. Wow you read way too much into things
@t-8900 Life is a process, a learning experience and you must learn to BECOME. We are ALL going through a process, but some naturally have that before they came to this world, and others have to grow and become in order to be. Everybody is learning something. I never TOLD you anything about that. We are all not GOOD. God said, there is no one that is good, not one. That includes me. God helped me become and still becoming a Godly woman. It IS A PROCESS. And be it if you made those mistakes or not. I had said for me personally, that is a big no-no. I have that right because I didn't do so. If i had done so, then I cannot judge because I have done the same. There is a difference. Like there are other virgins who equally want other virgins, there are some who may not care if you are or not. I for one just rather not. I am wrong for wanting that for myself. Or would you prefer I got married to a man who done that and now my marriage is unhappy and screwed up? God forbid leading to divorce all because of those things? That is not fair to me. And God didn't want me to be with those men anyway. If he told me no, as I said before, the answer was no. It didn't matter what I would have liked. Do you think the male friends I grew up crushing on I wouldn't have given them a shot? The thing is, they wouldn't have stopped if I told them no to premarital sex or porn or anything else. That was their private business. You don't think it hurt me to know that and I had to tell them no? God didn't say for me to do so. And I was held back from doing so out of protection.
You must be cleaned with your sexuality and make sure you don't carry any demons and spirits from those choices. That is very serious. I cannot handle that. I know people who can, but I for one cannot. I am like a person with allergies that severe. Would you force a person with peanut allergies to be around the very thing they are allergic to? NO. That would be too cruel and they risk hospitalization or death, right? Well, that is the same with me. they have many videos concerning about the spiritual dangers of porn use and masturbation besides sexual sin like premarital sex in general. It is VERY serious. What you do gets passed on to your children. I do not have those generational curses on myself or my children. You need to get out of the habit that this is BIGGER than you, and for the welfare of my children. If you desire to have kids, think of the children, their children, and their children's children. What message are you going to show and provide them? What path and future will have for them? Sin is a serious thing and everybody is struggling with something. Sexual sin, abuse, divorce, etc those curses and more runs very heavy on my parent's side of the family and I've seen the damage that does. It is not a joke. I personally do not want to relive those things ever again.
I'm okay. I have no idea what any of that has to do with me since you don't know what I have and have not done but okay. I guess you can't get married because you would have it end in divorce by your logic. None of what you say makes sense. Anyways this isn't going anywhere so I'm just gonna leave lol
@t-8900 My looks are not your business. You don't need to see my looks to know what kind of woman I am. Another reason why I would not date a man who behaves like you at all. And firstly, no. You completely indicated that. You don't want a pen pal. You want somebody to befriend and eventually date. I know the trick. That's why you asked and that is why you read my profile. And said "lol". The moment you said that, was the moment I already knew. I just said nothing. I could have told you like I told other guys. But I didn't. Because I sensed and felt you needed some help and encouragement. But your behavior was questionable and I sensed in my spirit to turn back and look at the past question. I questioned you for a reason. And it was revealed to me what the issue was.
You wouldn't want me disclosing anything on here, so do not play those gaslighting games with me and our discussions, which is why you want to hide and have it on PM. DO NOT, make me force my hand.
Nobody told you to show me your personal Instagram with your personal info or your actual picture. Which, by the way, was highly dangerous of you to do, so I wouldn't be laughing if I was you with "lol". Do you really want for me to disclose what you're telling me about how you look like? You offend me with my looks, you do not want to me to disclose info about YOUR LOOKS. And I never judged you. So stop.
No I never said anything about dating you. I actually have been going through depression and thought a Christian could help me. Frankly Im not sure how I view you since you jump to conclusions. I actually was trying to be polite but I think you really are crazy and need help. You sharing what happened to me would speak volumes about you. Threatening to black mail me or doing so would prove you aren't a Christian at all. So You know what lady, have a nice life. I can see why you said you hurt people. Your ego is all you care about, not God. And you're in absolute denial about it. Do not contact me again for anything.
Yeah the point is I can't date somebody I never seen before so yeah wasn't asking you for a date. And if you think people just talk to people without knowing them then ya your are delusional.
And trust me. I look WAY YOUNGER than any of you two COMBINED. You wouldn't even know I am 30 that's how I can weed you out in a split second. I am pretty sure my father, both earthly and in heaven wouldn't dare have any of you two touching me anyway. And my mom would have said: heck no! Thank God my mom taught me these morals, and she married much younger than any of you. Funny. Got married at 20, had me at 19. You two men, no offense, are a joke.
@t-8900 That is okay. I wouldn't want a husband if this is the lowest a man can be. My age holds no bearing. I could have married at 13 or 18 if men wanted to wait for marriage. But they didn't want that. Many played hoe. At least I have my dignity and I have no regrets. I am actually more happier than stressing myself out. I am not on the dating market. Not that I would in any market, to begin with. So you sir, people, TIME is running out for YOu actually. Not me. I am celibate. I don't have to deal with any of that.
Actually no. Times were not different time just got worse. I know I am born in the wrong century. I was better off in the 1800s. At least I know men were able to provide and actually not COMPLAIN about what they got to do like you sissy men. I am too traditional and old school anyway. Too bad they don't have those traditional victorian outfits as a fashion, I actually kinda like those. And those dresses used as rags during the Biblical times? Wouldn't have a problem. At least I know I can rely on a man to protect me, a man of valor, a man who knows what is expected, who would be there for his family and make sure I am secure. I know what is expected of me and I have no complaints. My complaints is when you ASK for a Godly woman, and you are not even a Godly man for yourself or even BOTHER to change your ways. I am not dating a man who may try to rape me or shame me for my lack of experience because he wants it then. I am not dating a man whose alcohol breathe I distaste. I have ASTHMA as it IS. Do you THANK I want to smell that Hennesy? Jerry Walker BLACK in my house, in my presence, and I get intoxicated by the smell ALONE? And I have to hold my breath, coughing, struggling to leave the room? Do you think I want to see throw up on the bed, the carpet? To worry where my husband is, and whether or not my boyfriend is seeing other women behind my back, give women stripping in the club money. To be SEEN with that kind of man? That is low and below my standards!
I am not even harassing you. I am completely done. WAY done. You are on my feed. I am not bothering you, you request to speak to me. I spoke to you, now your behavior has done a 360. You revealed who you are. So please do, and I pray you to seek God truly and stop with your mess. I am not getting hurt because of you.
This isn't a gender thing. This a human being matter Both men and women and guilty of being cruel. If a person ends up repeatably with people who hurt them they need to reevaluate themselves. They need to learn to see the red flags and start changing their own behavior thinking and reevaluate their worth. Sometimes people do not realize they may have tendency to choose toxic people. Sometimes they need to to be taught to see the red flags and then learn to walk away immediately and not be so forgiving of wrong doing. Make new rules for our dating life and don't take any Sh! t expect respect and accept no less!
@Jemma87899 Your words scream pain. I'm sorry you been hurt. It's good to let go of that rage within but don't let despair cloud your mind. You know your own worth and strength. You need to lift yourself up and Take a good look at your situation. Ask yourself what you need and want. Life is too precious to get stuck loving someone who doesn't or can't love you back on the same level as you give. You know that old cliche don't throw the bath water out with the babe or one bad apple will spoil a whole barrel... Well don't throw out all men because of this one man and don't let this one man spoil your outlook of the rest. GaG has shown me that there are plenty of good men who get just as hurt as us girls by other wretched women. You alright started taking steps in the right direction... You acknowledge your worth and then pain this man has caused. Now decide are you going to make him understand he can't treat you this way and depand and expect change? Or are your done giving him chances and are ready to leave. You can't control the actions of others but you can control what you do and how you react.
I don't know if this is a generic question or one posed to a specific community. I would say where I come from, men see their relationships with women as being the measure of their masculinity. The more women you have. . . the more masculine you are. I struggled mightily with this growing up. There was so much pressure to have sex and then have sex with multiple girls.
I dated girls in high school/college that I was not even attracted to. Just to deal with the pressure.
So if you are running into men or have experience with a man who is not faithful, it is something many of us struggle with. Because we can know the behavior is hurtful, but then we have issues defining our manhood without that kind of behavior.
I would say many men eventually learn that they have to define themselves in more positive ways. But it takes maturity and some willingness to confront themselves. All I can do is wish you love and luck.
You're investing in the wrong type of men. Remember, the character traits of a fukboy and a husband and father are generally completely different. And to find a man that has the total package is rarer than a woman who keeps the commitment when presented with a serious upgrade option. I'm speaking honestly, as a 53 year old fukboy who has lost all three great loves of my life to better suited providers. It's a bitter pill to swallow, believe me. But all three, and yes we're still in contact claim they haven't climbed walls, or begged their partner to stop yet became angry when I did, since. But all three are happily married or equivalent currently. One I continued to see for what she called maintenance for a year and a half after her and her now husband were married. It stopped when he found out. Now, this may sound like I'm bragging. I am not. I'd trade the reality for the dream of a lifelong partner in an instant. I've yet to meet the one who stays.
That is a tale kept for significant others. I keep no secrets from those who need to know. Please be satisfied that the stinger in your comment is fully felt. May I remind you that relative positions throughout life are constantly in flux. Balanced and static positions are always temporary. And all things are relative to one's shifting perspective. Suffice it to say that no one sets out to fail. Only the evil deliberately seek to do harm to another, even if it's for the recipients own good. For that robs that individual of their autonomy and interferes with Fate's plan for that individual..
Majority of women are attracted to top tier guys. Say 75% of all women are seriously after the top 15% of men. Those top 15% have their pick of multiple women in that 75% block. ie. top tier guys have major options. One wrong move and why should Chad have anything more to do with you, when he has a dozen just as hot, just as nice, just as loving and good of a girlfriend as you?
When women talk about evil men, invariably they are talking about the top tier Chad, Tyrone 15%.
The bottom 85% of guys are functionally INVISIBLE to the majority of women. When women want “good” men, they want top tier Chad to be that good man.
Really most women have negative interest in any man who is not Chad. That’s where this “ALL MEN” are trash comes from. It means basically, “all the men I am attracted to are trash”. The rest of us might as well not even exist for you ladies
Not true. If men had their acts together most women wouldn't feel the need to go after every guy they find physically attractive. In fact, they do so because they want to get married, have sex, and have children. They want their children to look like the guy. That is how the world has made it. And many women naturally desire that in a man. It is not that you were invisible, you don't do much to go for women who already see you. But you don't find them attractive either. You cannot judge these women. Your whole opinion is just showing why women may be avoiding you instead of fixing the problem.
This thread has been enlightening. There's a lot of talk about the problems with men. However, it's pretty evident that there are also plenty of women who are completely untrustworthy and volatile to be around. Please scroll down to the thread started by Btbc92, for a wonderful example of this. She's blocked both myself and another user from replying to her unhinged rants about us.
But her attitude is a prime example of a woman who complains and bitches about the state of the male species, while concurrently exhibiting the kinds of toxic behaviors which would cause the very issues she complains about.
Who is "men" according to you? Because if all men you met have hurt you I got some bad news, you got a shitty taste.
And when you make your bed you sleep in it. Women drool over toxic violent insecure guys and when they get hurt they blame the patriarchy. The heart wants what the heart wants for sure but you need to be mature enough to know what is good and what is bad for you. I would love to eat junk food all the time but I don't want cholesterol so I refrain as much as I can, and same with you and men, you wanna be treated right you get yourself a decent man, he might not rock your world but then again he might.
OK I don't mean to sound bitter when I say this... but don't give everything you've got to a man. Ever. Thats how you get let down. You should always have your guard up a little and not expect them to give you everything you're giving them. Also to answer why they end up hurting ladies like that- its because they can & because they know they have you. Its the same with girls hurting guys. Sometimes if you know someone is so invested and clearly not going anywhere then it can be taken advantage of. Dont give anyone that power.
@Jemma87899 I don't know you and you don't know me. I'm going to suggest that your "man picking selector" is broken. I'm in South Florida and here, many women seem to find the most dysfunctional man that they can find. When the relationship has problems, the woman gets pregnant in an attempt to save the relationship. But it was like trying to prevent the Titanic from sinking - hopeless, so now the woman is a single mother. I'm going to suggest than when you meet a man you like, before getting physically intimate with the man - introduce the man to a straight male friend/family member of yours to get their read on the prospective man. Since there is no sexual attraction and presuming the friend/family member has your best interests at heart, they will give you an honest read of the prospective man. Good luck!
See there are some part you in control of, some that you are not. For the one you in charge of, you are the sole responsible for it and so you will bear the consequences whether you like it or not. So do your part as best as you can and in the right and then everything will fall in its place. Remember just because you are doing something right, does not mean you are guarantee success at the first time. It depends on life itself.
Yes you can at least some of us, not all because not all people are good to be trusted. Trust is something that is earned, it´s nothing that should be given around easily. There are guys that are willing to work for that, but there are also guys that will always have an explanation why they broke you´re trust. The art of love is finding a trust worthy guy emphasizing on the finding because most of those guys don´t have a note around their neck saying: "I´m trust-worthy". The only thing I can tell you about those guys is, that they don´t make you big promises because they know they can´t keep them. Don´t take a guy by his words, take him by his actions. If a guy does something that is contradicting what he told about himself, he´s probably not trust-worthy because he´s not measuring up with his own standards and goals for his own life. If he can´t achieve his goals, he can´t achieve whatever he claims or promises you he would do for you.
I cannot agree with this. An enormous number of decent men who love and respect women exist, but many of these women are not interested in such men because they view them as soft, weak, or needy. And because a lot of women are not done using guys or just sleeping with them on the side. Then when they're done ho-ing around they expect a wonderful man to sweep them up and love them.
I am amazed at how many women are out there who will get a loving, decent man come into their lives, but then she gets bored and is ready to cut him off and not look back. Yet these women will keep running back to men who cheat on them - sometimes even abuse them, or the guy has no stable life and certainly no respect for her, yet these women keep trying and even foolishly hold on to hope that they can win these guys back if he left her for someone else.
Until women stop pretending these things aren't true, they're going to keep complaining and having problems.
In general I don’t trust anyone, I most certainly do not trust government, I don’t trust donation requests in that my money will go to the actual cause listed, too many front companies funneling money to muslum terrorists, black or lgbtq organizations, so the only charity I donate to now is ME. I do adopt rescue dogs, but that is a direct in person thing that I control. As for women, trust only goes so far, all my paperwork and valuable stuff stays locked in the safe, I don’t go out on an emotional limb, from there I’m a mirror, I give back what I get.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I think it’s not intentional, and I think most men don’t even know what they’re doing... and the women they invite in their lives end up being collateral damage to their selfishness and idiocracy. Men think and behave differently than women do, and I don’t think they’re aware of the effects their behavior has. Some are aware, and they choose to be assh*les, but that isn’t a reflection of the women they have in their lives but their own internal conflicts and misalignment. But I don’t think they love or get a kick out of hurting women... I mean I’m sure a few select men do, but majority of men, in my opinion, just are clueless because of how their brain is equipped.
@IcedLemonade your comment indicates that you are the hurt one. The hurt one who hasn't processed his own pain, so he needs to project it onto someone else.
@IcedLemonade Aww. That's pretty common. Still, it's tough to work with the blueprint of a parental figure who hurt you. Makes life a lot more difficult.
If you're a lady... you don't need a man. If it's so easy for men to manipulate you then you need to raise the bar.
There are AWESOME women out there... and there are evil demon spawn bitches. There are some AWESOME men out there... and some abusive petty pieces of shyt.
Be a responsible adult and don't blame ALL men for the failings of those who grew up without a good dad around and a courageous mom to set things straight.
Empowered women can make shyt work without blaming men for being failures.
Go to work girly... Good luck dealing with no one to blame shyt on.
Yes they can and they still do. When it comes to new men, no you should vet them, because you have crazy ass men out there. However, you'll know if a man is worth trusting when his actions and words match up, let alone he's respectful.
The women you're referring to that are always getting hurt are loyal. By loyal, I mean they have no boundaries and aredoormats for these men that constantly hurt them. You should not have to sacrifice a lot for a relationship that's stagnant or painful, you're only hurting yourself and only yourself. These men that you're referring to are hurting women and they know they can get away with it.
This is why it's important to vet the people you're talking to before you take it to the next step with them. We can't keep having conversations like this if people are not learning and growing. It takes two to tango, but it takes one to lead
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Anonymous(25-29)
