My bf makes plans without asking me first?

[Anonymous]

He always makes plans with his friend without asking me first. It drives me insane... I talked to him before about it. I told him I might not want to go, or may want to hang out with my friends every once in a while. Our friends live pretty far apart, so it's hard for us all to hang out. He listened for a little while, but started doing it again. Lately I have been only hanging out with his friends and doing things I don't want to do because of i. If I suggest they have a boys night and me and my friends have a girls night, he tells me he doesn't want to or that his best friend is bringing some girl he's hooking up with. If I don't want to go, he gets upset. I tried compromising, but he isn't consulting me. What should I do? All I asked was ask me if I want to go before you make plans that involve both of us.

[oldanddecrepid]

Put the shoe on the other foot... make plans and don't tell him... just go! What he is trying to do is run your life according to the lifestyle he wants... that's what we call a control freak. It can't be all one-sided!

One weekend should be with his friends and one with yours... either that or do the girls night and guys night thing and split up for the evening.

Time apart is good in any relationship... lets you come back refreshed in the relationship.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice.

[oldanddecrepid]

Your welcome.

[BertMacklinFBI]

next time he does it just say you don't wanna go, don't even enter an argument with him if he tries. just be like "no i don't wanna go" and continue doing your own thing.

[Asker]

If I tell him I don't want to go, we argue. Obviously that's not working. lol So I'll just try to remain calm about it even if he's mad. Hopefully it works! Thanks!

[BertMacklinFBI]

shouldn't he learn by now its always polite to ask? damn. maybe you can re-educate him with this manner.

[Asker]

lol I told him the same thing.

[Asker]

It's super frustrating because he started being more considerate, and then just stopped.

[BertMacklinFBI]

okay that's good, at this point then you can teach him through example. if he invites you himself again and its time to leave don't go. there must be consequences for his actions! I would seriously be getting pissed at this point lol. im actually getting annoyed thinking about it, if my girl kept inviting me herself, I would just be like "im not going you never asked and I told you about this shit already" and then if she tries to argue im just gonna hop on my motorcycle and im audi500.

[Asker]

It really does piss me off. I tried to give him a taste of his own medicine and just volunteer him to go on a double date... but my friend's date was really weird, so it was a long awkward night for us all. lol And I don't understand why he gets upset when I don't want to go. I hang out with him and his friends so much that if I don't go out once a month, it shouldn't be a problem.

[BertMacklinFBI]

maybe you're his only true friend. but still if you don't wanna go he should deal hahaa.

[Asker]

His one friend is kind of a jerk and is always rude/uses him, but the others are cool.
Maybe I'm just so great he doesn't want to leave me. haha jk

[BertMacklinFBI]

that could be the case, I really have not met a guy who always wants his GF around, like ever. hahaa

[Asker]

lol He loves country music and I hate it, so I told him to go to some concert without me. His friends started making fun of him, saying he would die if he had to go without me.

[BertMacklinFBI]

hahaa! d00d you two found like a funny fun couple. I can't imagine things going south.