"Any woman worth her salt would cater to their man's ego"?

[Anonymous]

Do you ladies agree with this? If you man asked you a question he might not want the answer to, would you cater to his ego?

I feel like my girlfriend is terrible at this. What does this mean?

[vmw2008]

Ehhhh there's a fine line with that one.

On one hand, I agree. I think a man I love who goes out of his way consistently to show respect, love, caring and support for me, deserves to have that in return. Part of showing that to a man is making him feel "like a man." Guys have fragile egos at times, but mainly the idea is if we want a man to continue to demonstrate those masculine qualities we love so much, and be chivalrous/woo us continuously, then that comes with supporting his ego enough to do that.

On the other, that doesn't mean a woman should lie or submit to everything in order to do this. There are times when honesty is important, and a man's ego needs checked. Not only for creating a respectful and equal dynamic between the couple, but also because most men are attracted to a woman who has a mind of her own and can state her opinions in a mature manner. A "yes girl" is frequently left behind because the man gets bored and thinks she'll just say and do anything to please a guy.

So basically a girl who is strong and can have healthy disagreements with her partner, while also supporting and loving his desire to be a man in the relationship, is a winner.

[Asker]

what if he asks a question about your ex boyfriend or something that he won't like the answer to? against what is good for him?

[vmw2008]

That's a tricky one and I think would depend on how long we'd been together. If it was early on, I'd avoid conversations about my ex-boyfriend like the plague. If it was later though, it would depend a lot on his personality. Some guys want total honesty and don't get jealous easily, so I would give more of the truth with him. Other guys ask out of curiosity but don't really want to hear the truth, so I'd be as succinct as I could with him.

Anything related to sex would involve white lies for ego boosting lol

[Asker]

yup it was a year and a half in and it was sex related lol she didn't take it very easy on me but since I had been a bit full of myself prior to that (not in an offensive way, just cocky) I think she lied a bit as well just to take me down a notch. it was a tough situation

[vmw2008]

I wouldn't lie to make him feel bad about himself for sure. A guy who is cocky in bed (as long as he's not selfish) is a million times better than a guy who's insecure. Let him be as cocky as he wants if I'm reaping the benefits and have a guy who's not afraid to push the limits.

[Asker]

exactly! but my girlfriend kind of takes it as "well if he thinks he has a big dick, big muscles, etc ." then he is going to take advantage of me and look for other girls, so I have to take him down a notch... which I never would! so she basically was like "i mightttttt haveeeee a storyyyy or twooooooooo... can you handle it... are you going to think about it so much... I don't wanna talk about it..." when I stupidly asked about penis size of her past... also when it came to performance I pretty much said I was the shit, when she said "maybe you should be worried ; P" (but in reality she wants sex all the time and has said i'm her best before)

so stuff like that, she feels insecure a bit so in my moment of weakness I feel like she capitalized on it. too bad it is that way.

[vmw2008]

Well maybe you need to cater to her "ego" as well. If she's worried you're so cocky you may look elsewhere, then there's something you may be doing to foster that insecurity within her. I think the confidence in bed is a good thing, but maybe focus that more on her, and remind her how she's your one and only. Tell her how great SHE is, and how no other girl compares, etc etc.

Girls have a huge insecurity of men cheating because it happens so often. I think maybe she'll feel more comfortable stroking your ego if she doesn't worry you'll take that ego to another girl lol

[Asker]

yeah I have absolutely done this since then (a year ago) but what she has said to me still bothers me because I don't know if they were lies from a bad time in our relationship of jealousy games and stuff, or if they are the truth and she was just being honest to get at me.

nowadays she strokes my ego to the max and I make her feel great too. but the thing is, I don't know if she is lying now or then

[jrose]

Nope- I'm not going to spend my life tap-dancing around your ego and I shouldn't have to.
I want to be with someone I can be completely real with, I want to trust he'll tell me the truth and I'll tell him the truth, no BS. That's the only way a relationship is going to last.

I'm not saying you have to use the truth like a hammer or that I don't try to be supportive of guys I date. You say things to make them feel good, take pride in them, and obviously avoid hurting them if you can.
But if someone I'm dating or even a friend asks me a question, I'm going to answer honestly. Not harshly, just honestly.

[lumos]

I'm not going to sugarcoat anything for anyone unless I feel like it's truly necessary. My boyfriend would be no exception. If he can't handle honesty, then he should grow up a little before dating again.

[kambo_trick3y]

Fuck his ego.

If you're too pussy to take a truth punch to the face, that's not on her, that's on the guy for being a little mental pussy.

You don't get good at life by rejecting or sugar coating the truth. Calm seas don't make good sailors.

[Asker]

so you would want your girl to tell you you don't have the biggest cock? your not the best at sex? her ex boyfriend had more money than you or was better looking?

[kambo_trick3y]

Fuck yes. I never shy from the truth, EVER.

[Anonymous]

You mean she's honest to a fault and doesn't tell you little white lies? Not good. That will slowly eat away at your ego and your relationship.