What do I do with an underachiever?!

[spret]

My boyfriend always does the bare minimum. I know he cares about me, but the other day I felt myself feeling grateful that he didn't ask me to throw down money for pizza, and I feel like I deserve a boyfriend that won't just pay for pizza, but take me out to eat at a restaurant and treat me right! He never takes me out for dates, and I find myself more and more not wanting to spend time with him because we'll just end up doing the same thing we do every night: staying in.

I know I should find an opportune moment to bring this up to him, but I'm thinking maybe I should ditch him altogether - not appreciating your girlfriend and taking her for granted are MAJOR red flags! What should I do?

Updates

+1 y

it seems like there is a big of a sore spot for guys when one of their own is called out for being lazy. clearly, to be a nice girlfriend, all of us girls have to just bend over and take it, and then not ask for anything in return!

[Anonymous]

I bet he has dreams but he needs a momentum, the hardest part is to get started, maybe he will eventually wake up and do something that will drive him to success and then he can dump you and get a nice girl instead.

By the way I had take girls to dinners and dates so many times, the only thing you get from that is not hetting laid, so why bother, when you don't do it then you get vagina, so basically girls teach us to be that way.

[spret]

So, I'm confused as to what would have to change for me to be a "nice" girl. it seems to me that you're saying that a "nice" girl wouldn't have a problem with a boyfriend that didn't appreciate her. maybe your idea of a "nice" girl is actually a "stupid/doormat" girl. I don't see anything wrong or "not nice" about a girl wanting to be taken out by the boy -the ONLY boy - she has chosen to be with exclusively

[Opinion Owner]

You can split bills when you go out, or he pays once and you pay the next time and so on, that way it would be fair for both. By the way I like the bend over update.

[Italo_DiscoFever]

Don't Break up with him just because of that. Try talking to him first. And if he continues with this behavior then yea break up with him. That's the whole point of being in a relationship communicating with each other.

Good luck,

- Harvey D

[Italo_DiscoFever]

Thanks for the best answer!

[Anonymous]

I had the opposite problem. I created a monster in my ex girlfriend because I was always the one paying, always driving, always everything.. You can't date a stingy guy, that's not good. Sounds more-or-less like you are his sugar momma. Now, if he is unemployed due to the economy, or is in a situation that he cannot fully support himself.. I'd be understanding. If anything I'd think he'd be willing to split the bill. My ex was never ever for that. Occasionally I've asked just to see her reaction, and she did exactly what I expected.

[Jocko]

What do you do for him? Maybe he just has no incentive to step it up for you. Your not one of those nothings good enough girls are you? Do you ever suggest doing something other than sitting around and stick by it,or do you just say lets do something and than expect him to come up with all the ideas. Even though you know he's not going too. Guys aren't mind readers and were gonna get away with what you allow us to get away with.

[spret]

No I have done WAY more for him than he's done for me. I like spoiling my boyfriend and don't want to feel resentful when he doesn't reciprocate. I've been suggesting other things to do but he's always not in the mood to do anything and ends up falling asleep on the couch while I'm still wide awake. I really like your last statement - that guys are going to get away with what we let you get away with. That makes sense, and I thought I was just being a good girlfriend by letting things slide.

[tex151]

He's a guy what do you expect, and maybe you should pay for the pizza, no wonder all he wants to do is stay home, it seems like you just like to complain. Does he listen to you when you talk, probably not, I don't listen to my girlfriend either, she says something and I either don't catch it or just don't care to answer. It's simple if you want to go on dates, then ask him if he will take you to dinner or a movie or something, how hard is that to do?

[gotc147]

I've seen this situation before, except you;re lucky because you haven't had a kid with this looser yet.

GET OUT while you still can. That's you in your profile picture? He's just looking to use you for sex and to take care of him, guys like him are only looking to find women to take care of them, they even have children with them to trap them in relationships (women do this to but we're not talking about women).

Find someone who will appreciate you.

[Anonymous]

Well since you're Rachel Bilson, I figured you wouldn't have a problem with paying!

[spret]

It's not the paying, it's the gesture. and yes even celebrities deserve to be taken out on dates!

[Opinion Owner]

Well If you're Rachel Bilson, might I just tell you that I'm rich and hung like a champ.

[spret]

HAHA rachel bilson doesn't go for creeps.

[Opinion Owner]

Ya and you can go f*** yourself. I was just joking around. I hope your boyfriend makes you pay for everything and then dumps you for some hotter chick.

[spret]

Somehow, I have a feeling you're already f***ing yourself, probably with your other hand as you type

[Opinion Owner]

Well I alternate, sometimes I enjoy the stranger. Again, I was just joking around with you, yet you had to take it to another level, an insulting level. Speaks volumes about your character. If I were him, I'd walk away now.. You're definitely a bitch.

[spret]

I believe the best colloquialism to use right now is "well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black..."

[Opinion Owner]

Oh never mind, your para linguistics are such a turn on.

[IamJoe22]

How old is he? In school?

[spret]

He's 25 and not in college anymore