I want to be more than good enough but I'm far less. what can I do to fix this?

[another_curious_girl]

I try so hard to be responsible for myself, or at least that's the lie I've be telling myself for the past few years, and I've gotten farther behind. My grades are constantly a mess, I procrastinate. I feel to """"tired""" to do any homework or real meaningful work, yet never that tried when it comes to videogames and doodling. my subconscious would rather use men for pleasure that work on anything that would make my family proud. I feel like I constantly have to fight myself just to get the bare minimum out of me.

I'm going into adult hold now and my twenties are the most important age of my life, I can't keep acting like this for the sake of my own livelihood. for any real adults out there who are handling life right now. Do you have any tips on whiling myself back into shape and becoming the person I'm meant to be.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Man, you really look for reasons to hate yourself. If you want to start having a better life, it first starts with how you see yourself. Stop punishing yourself for failing and instead recognize that failure is part of the learning process. You’re literally JUST starting to figure out how to do this stuff, you’re going to make mistakes, we all did. If you had a dog, and that dog could never catch the ball when you played fetch, would you consider that dog a failure or just a fun-loving dog that gets too excited to focus on the ball when it’s in the air? Don’t hate on yourself for just figuring something out, maybe 10 years down the line if you try to start over and fail then yeah, you can feel bad about it then, but you’re literally just beginning. You’re allowed to be tired, you’re allowed to say you don’t want to do the work you’re doing — work sucks! But don’t shit on yourself for just going with the flow and not doing as well as others. Chill out, take a breath, and remind yourself that failing is learning and you are still learning.

[another_curious_girl]

I Don't understand how wanting to improve is hating myself. I hear so many people say that and I feel it's only said to women.
If anything discipline is the highest form of self love because it's acknowledging that I deserve more while not being so codependent that I expecting it from someone else. Being dutiful means that I see my dreams as valid and worthy of attention. Procrastination is the result of self hate, not discipline.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Discipline isn’t calling yourself stupid or a failure, discipline is acknowledging that you HAVE failed and that you need to work to get better.

[Anonymous]

Just relax n enjoy what you're doing...
Don't overthink