My boyfriend's dad scares me!!!

[ButterflyGirl]

When I first met him I got a bad impression because he was yelling and cussing at my boyfriend in front of me which I thought was kind of inappropriate and then the second time I met him he got mad because we went to lunch and he was complaining about how he didn't want to pay for his meal. =/ I really don't want his dad to cause me to lose my boyfriend but I really can't deal with his dad's attitude problem anymore and I'm thinking that if it doesn't stop I will have to break up with my bf...=(

[ArtistBboy]

Rosen is dead accurate and here's another piece of advice.

This isn't easy to do- but have you ever had anyone yell at you, but it didn't bother you? Like an annoying kid at the mall that you thought was "stupid" - you didn't get mad about it, but you would basically walk away. That same feeling is what I'm explaining.

When his father is yelling, it's from confusion about a situation. He is trying to discipline his child, he doesn't mean to scare you senseless. Don't approach him about it, but find support in others for when it DOES bother you. Now here is the method.

Now here is the method:

First, realise the fathers' intent would be, and look for an escape route.- is he actually causing harm or is he confused? p*ssed? what...? Find a method to get away should the problem become much more elevated.

Second, does it have anything to do with what you've done? If so- how? Was it unreasonable or rude? (Usually the answer here is no)

Third, who is being attacked verbally?- do they look scared/threatened- or does your surroundings seem natural? He has a father who disciplines him strongly, while my parents were very relaxed because I disciplined myself. If people are acting out- then something is "different" which is making them emotionally hostile; if you can pin-point how your surroundings are, you might find that things are actually normally that way.

Fourth, if nothing is directly related to your actions, ignore the immaturity - This is where you must train your mind to not dwell on the hostile environment. Similar to that of how recruits are trained in the army - The more you become emotionally strong, the easier it is to laugh in the back of your head that this guy is only gonna end up getting a sore throat- but he won't even scratch how emotionally built you are to handle any situation.

Lastly, speak openly about what bothers you- if you "wall it out" (contrary to number 4) you will be supressing your thoughts / emotions / and feelings. That is NOT healthy. Take your boyfriend to the side and talk with him- or find someone you could talk to or call (in the event your boyfriend has chores to do).

Doing the above method will help to keep you safe and emotionally stable to handle his father easily. His father, like I said before, is only confused- all parents do this... Walk down the street to the supermarket and see if there is a parent disciplining a child in public- there might be a few to give you a good picture.

Good luck~

ArtistBBoy

[ArtistBboy]

Thanks for the BA - and sorry I retyped a lot of sh*t cause it kept logging me off... lol

[ButterflyGirl]

Lol You're welcome and it's okay. =)

[kcm_05]

I coudlnt have said it better! that's awesome!

[Littletad]

Ask your boyfriend to meet up by yourselves. Avoid visiting his home or being in any situation where his dad might show up.

[Tamikaze]

Well, prepare to breakup with your bf. His dad is his dad. It's not like he is going to get his dad to change so about as good as it will get is that you and your boyfriend find ways to 100% avoid having you run in to his dad, but assuming your guy lives at home with his dad, that may not be very practical.

Even when we are older the reality is that when we have a relationship or marriage to someone, we have one with their family whether we like it or not. I don't blame you for being scared of his dad, that is scary behavior, but your boyfriend cannot change him or get rid of him.

[KweenKrunkk420]

Breaking up with your boyfriend because his dad is rude and you dislike it is a selfish thing to do. The way his family acts should not change the way you feel about him, or make you make decissions you will probably regret. It would be completley different if you lived with them and he acted that way. I don't know if you do, but if so talk to him about it and see where he stands. I just think you should stick it out with him and ignore the way his father is.

[sweetie2010]

I wouldn't break up with him just because of his dad. Maybe that's how him and his dad talk to each other or maybe his dad is a big jerk or maybe a jokster? Some people that joke constantly other people don't understand and take it as rudeness which the jokster isn't meaning to come across rude that's just how they are. Give it awhile and see how it goes unless he starts yelling at you now that's a different story.

[queenvictoria22]

That's a sucky situation...try to hang out with your boyfriend away from his dad if you can.

Or tell your boyfriend you feel uncomfortable around his dad when he acts like that.

Good Luck~

[Hughman]

Just stay out of his way. Simple. Guy sounds like a douchebag. Don't let that come between you and your boyfriend.

[rosen]

gotta speak to your boyfriend openly about the issue.

[ArtistBboy]

Awesome advice man.

[enlightenment]

talk to your man! That IS scary.