So, I have posted a lot about my boyfriend and our relationship on here lately. Tonight we got in a heated discussion and I just had enough. It got to the point now where I realize we fight way too much and are doing more bad than good... maybe we should take a break, work on us but from a far. (I meant it though, not as a way to break up I really wanted to work on it). Anyway he didn't want to break up and me saying that made him cry. His sister came in and gave me relationship advice. (she took the phone from him, this whole convo is on the phone) Then he kept crying and crying because he really didn't want it to end..
I guess she could hear them and so she sent me this. I can't explain everything I am feeling... I know that by tomorrow his whole family will probably hate me. I am just angry, sad, disapointed, and I feel disrespected.
What would you do? How would you feel?
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+1 y
So, we are still together. We are long distance right now so... that's why there is this drama. We had none when we were together... Anyway he is coming to see me and we will solidify things then. Either way, his family had already invited me to go with them to Disney World for Christmas... would it be childish not to go because of this? I just... don't wanna be around his sister.
I think she was relatively rational in her advice and general tone. she wasn't very rude and just told it like it was. you may not like her advice but it is the truth and it sounds like she was right in many ways. I mean two people constantly fighting is pretty toxic.
I think you took it defensively because this is a sensitive matter to you but I don't think you can or should hold a grudge against her
I disagree. She was really rude and passive aggressive. My biggest issue with her comments was not the truth in them, I acknowledged that. My issue was her childish tone and the fact that she was just smiling in my face and being fake ten minutes before that while giving me advice on how to "fix" my relationship. I agree we fought way too much but it was a recent development and we have worked past it. It isn't for her to decide when my relationship starts and ends, I don't know her like that so she could have respectfully expressed her advice or kept her mouth shut.
i see nothing in there that is passive aggressive. I see nothing in there that seems she is talking down to you. she didn't decide the relationship was over she recommended that you guys stop seeing each other because you guys were fighting constantly and her brother is sitting there crying... you also suggested in those texts that you guys slow things down so I don't see where she said anything all that different from you
I think the simple fact is you are sensitive to the fact that she was even involved. sensitive to the fact that she is pointing out the problems in your relationship and that perhaps it's time to move on...
Oh she recommended? When she told me that there is no sense in this shxt? That was a suggestion? Or when she told me it mattered because it effected her life, was that it? She hates him. She never does anything for him, uses him, etc. So her word now means nothing except that he was crying too loud for her comfort. I'm not sensitive to the facts of us slowing down because we were talking about it but my issue is that she doesn't know her place and was a condescending btch about it. Thanks for your input. Let's agree to disagree.
He will be here in a few hours and we are back to our normal not fighting and stuff. Boo hoo we fought a lot for a little bit. Who doesn't fight? This is my relationship not hers and her fakeness irks me. I'm okay with people saying things I don't agree with but her methods were flawed. She has heard him cry lots of times, made him cry lots of times... she treats him like dirt. My relationship is my own, and I am not the bad guy here.
no one said you were the bad guy. no one. not her and definitely not me.
but by that statement "I'm not the bad guy here" do you see how defensive you are about the subject? No one (certainly not me and not the sister) said you were the bad guy or the fault was all yours. when we are acting out of defensiveness it is often hard to see the other side. if you can step back and look at it more objectively (which can be hard) you may see things in a slightly different perspective
Sorry I didn't explain I meant in my relationship. There are issues but... I am not the one who is... hurting the other I guess.
I see the other side well it just isn't her place. She should have respectfully explained her feelings but she knew she was doing wrong which is why she tried to save face in front of her brother and then said what she did to me on messenger. Regardless of the state of my relationship it is not her concern and unless asked she should not be involved. She hasn't been with us, she hasn't seen all the things we have done, said, been through, she is on the outside looking in.
Well, she didn't swear at you, she's just calling it like she sees it, which I commend her for, bold step, she's probably right and you know it, sometimes two people just can't work out, even if they'd like to.
But I'd like to thank you for blacking out her name, that's very respectful
Yeah it's rude to expose her. I wish I could agree haha we have issues that we are working on and after this last measure if it fails we will be done but what she said was rude. Because she was just on the phone with me like five minutes before telling me to not waste time being mad at her brother and be happy and la la la. But out of all the issues in our relationship she just doesn't know. I won't tell her cause that is also disrespectful but she was being rude. She was nice to my face and then passive aggressive over the phone. I'm an adult, I got this.
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