I slapped my ex-boyfriend for disrespecting me, does that make me abusive?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend has been lying to me about talking to his ex girlfriend. I use his computer and he's still signed into facebook and I see him and his ex girlfriend have not only been communicating throughout our whole relationship, but he has been discussing my personal and sexual life with her as well. His ex girlfriend hates me and has disrespected our relationship in the past. When we first got together my boyfriend admitted he knows his ex still has feelings for him. I told him if he wanted to maintain a friendship with her, I would need to meet her. She refused, she tried to have sex with my boyfriend while we were together, so I forbidded that he ever see that fat tramp ever again.

He swore that his loyalty was to me. Boy was I wrong. He was telling her all my personal, embarrassing details of my life. He was complaining about me. Just making me seem like he didn't want to be with me... but thats not how he acts with me. I broke up with him 2 weeks ago and he begged me to stay with him.

Anyway, I gave him a chance to tell me the truth about his ex and he laughed in my face and told me he would never stop seeing her because she they have history. He says he doesn't want her romantically but she isn't going anywhere. So, I slapped him in his smug mug. I gathered my belongings and began to leave. He tried to stop me from leaving by withholding my purse. So I picked up a shoe and threw it at him. I grabbed my purse and headed for the door. I walked out the building, to my car i tears. I felt betrayed and humiliated. Why did he beg me to stay with him, if he can't commit to this relationship?

He now is going around telling everyone in his family that I am abusive. I never put my hands on any of my boyfriends before but the level of disrespect, I just couldn't contain. I know I should have kept my hands to myself but I felt so defeated.

I am leaving him for good and there is no looking back.

[Tarvold]

So my girlfriend has been lying to me about talking to her ex boyfriend. I use her computer and she's still signed into facebook and I see her and her ex boyfriend have not only been communicating throughout our whole relationship, but she has been discussing my personal and sexual life with him as well. Her ex boyfriend hates me and has disrespected our relationship in the past. When we first got together my girlfriend admitted she knows her ex still has feelings for her. I told her if she wanted to maintain a friendship with him, I would need to meet him. He refused, he tried to have sex with my girlfriend while we were together, so I forbidded that she ever see that fat asshole ever again.

She swore that her loyalty was to me. Boy was I wrong. She was telling him all my personal, embarrassing details of my life. She was complaining about me. Just making me seem like she didn't want to be with me... but thats not how she acts with me. I broke up with her 2 weeks ago and she begged me to stay with her.

Anyway, I gave her a chance to tell me the truth about her ex and she laughed in my face and told me she would never stop seeing him because they have history. She says she doesn't want him romantically but he isn't going anywhere. So, I slapped her in her smug mug. I gathered my belongings and began to leave. She tried to stop me from leaving by withholding my man-bag. So I picked up a shoe and threw it at her. I grabbed my man-bag and headed for the door. I walked out the building, to my car i tears. I felt betrayed and humiliated. Why did she beg me to stay with her, if she can't commit to this relationship?

She now is going around telling everyone in her family that I am abusive. I never put my hands on any of my gfs before but the level of disrespect, I just couldn't contain. I know I should have kept my hands to myself but I felt so defeated.

I am leaving her for good and there is no looking back.

[Asker]

lmfaooooooo

[Vesuvius87]

lol... yeah I can imagine how it would sound if a guy posted what she wrote

[Jaron29]

He deserves it, so don't feel bad. And don't waste your love on a guy who doesn't give you his heart wholeheartedly. I can't believe he was still discussing sexual details with his erstwhile girlfriend while with you. This is lucidly wrong on his part.

[Asker]

Right. How would he feel if I told my ex about his boring sex. Our sex life sucked and not because of me. He had the drive of a middle aged man and i just wasn't attracted to him anymore. He was an alcoholic.

[Jaron29]

Yeah, you just go out there and get yourself a guy whom deserves you.

Make sure he's sensitive to you and is unlike your boyfriend. Or should I refer to him as your ex now? xD

All that matters is that you move on swiftly and not well in saddness over your lousy ex boyfriend. He ain't worth your tears.

[Asker]

He's an ex and thank you.

[Miyumi]

I think it doesn't make you abusive. It makes you a hot headed person. I don't think this justifies the fact that you slapped him. Though I can understand why you did it. Judging by your story he was a real a-hole. But you never should have given him the fun of being slapped. You should have been the better person and walked out of his life with your head held high. Whether he told your family your abusive or not, who cares? They are your family. I'm pretty sure they know what your like and that you wouldn't have done so unless there was a very good reason to. Good for you he's out of your life.

Good luck!

Miyumi

[loofah]

You should leave him. I would not trust him. Still know and take seriously, you were wrong to slap. I wouldn't consider what happened as abusive, but learn to control that always even if the stresses are high. Also, I wouldn't recommend snooping in your future boyfriend's facebooks and the like. If there is something questionable going on, discuss it, but snooping is bad for trust.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like a really destructive relationship. It's not healthy for either of you. Sometimes, some people just bring out the worst in us. if you don't have any children with this man, then just move on, and find love, appreciation and kindness with another man who is 100% with you!

[poopedmypantsagain]

you were justified as if the shoe was on the other foot he would have did more then that to you.. besides with his big ego he has I am pretty sure it did not even phase him anyways.. get rid of this looser guy, you will be way better off.. and glad to hear that at the end of your story... you are going to leave this jerk off

[Asker]

He has recently tried to contact me and I told him I never wanted to see or hear from him again. Fucking prick.

[zShikiz]

Honestly, it makes no difference if it were justified or not to slap him. Point is, you physically HIT him. Period. If the situation were reversed, you'd have your entire story on channel 8 news and he'd be in jail and charged for physical assault. He is very well in his right to go around saying you're an abusive person since all he did was "laugh in your face". Do you know how many times men and women have laughed in my face throughout my life, but never once did I punch or slap them? What good would that do? Two wrongs do NOT make a right.

Simply put, you were wrong, and you better hope he doesn't press charges. Leave him. That's fine. I'm sure any other woman would too, but in your next relationship, I sincerely hope you refrain from doing such demented actions because it will likely come back and haunt you in the future.

[DrKran]

Cheaters disgust me, in the old days people got stoned for that.
But getting stoned is a bit extreme even for me. He's another one of those self centered people who puts themselves before others...

This post makes me sick, disgusted and furious! You abusive? People like that deserve eternal abuse..

[MaisGem21]

Although I understand why you would slap him, believe me I do, but you violated his privacy.
What he did was wrong... no-one's denying that. But what you have done is wrong.

If it were me and he forgot to sign out on his Facebook and coincidentally saw those messages, I would have just packed up my stuff and left. Leaving only with words quoted from the messages.

[MissPanda]

I think you need to exercise self control more, I know it can be hard but next time just take your stuff and leave before it gets heated. You already had the evidence, nothing he says is going to change what his actions already are saying. He's not over his ex, and even if you stay with him it will not change that. He will always be using her as a crutch, especially when you two fight. Let him go and move on.

[Anonymous]

Look. If you were a guy or if we actually treated men and women equally all the guys/girls here would be offering to beat you up for him because you're an asshole who physically assaulted your partner.

Now since that is all a load of a horse shit, no, you did fine. You're a girl and you got emotionally carried away so you attacked him. That's normal. We're tough. Doesn't hurt remotely as much as you leaving did I am sure.

[Anonymous]

There are different types of abuse: physical, mental and emotional.

You physically assaulted him. From what you describe, it sounds like he provoked you -- but initiating physical violence is never justifiable. People make mistakes. Learn from the experience: Sever all ties with him, and move on with your life.

Stop tormenting yourself.

[Jo_Bunny]

Looking at the title only, I would say yes.

But after reading what he did to you, I say no.

Glad you're leaving him for good because what he did was nasty and on top of that, try to make YOU look like the bad guy?

[FakeName123]

Doesn't matter if it's justified or not, you slapped him. You used physical force against him. So he has a point - doesn't matter if what he did was a clear dick-move. This is not math. Two wrongs don't make a right.

[archiz]

eh... I think I would have done the same.
like only if he was grabbing me or my stuff to stuff to stay I would have pushed hum or so.
I am so/so on this but you shouldn't have. Just go away and punch a pillow or so :P

[archiz]

sry for the typo mistakes I just woke up :P

[sailorjupiter]

well, he deserve it! you're not abusing him, you're being a woman.
so just walk forward in confidence and flip your hair~

[Polocrew]

Lol where the hell you live where you think it's ok to slap people?

[sailorjupiter]

I live in Malaysia, she's too angry and felt betrayed, also he laughed while explaining to her.
she's just slapped him once, ah come on
an abuse is if she hit him repeatedly, maybe until he's unable to walk, THAT's ABUSE
Yeah, I'll slap him too if I were her, no kidding, no regret honestly

[sailorjupiter]

@asker just ignore it, you just being emotional, not abusive
and he just need to be a man, dealt with it, not shame you by saying you're abusing him, made u look bad around other people
he's literally embarrassing himself

[Nuqood]

Jesus christ, even gook countries aren't safe from worthless women.

[sailorjupiter]

lolz, no wonder there's a lot of ridiculous sue cases in US, i get it now

[TheHooptyMiata]

Yeah, kinda. You used physical force when none was necessary. If a man had done that, everyone would be calling him worse than shit.

[Anonymous]

It was abusive. Nothing verbal will justify assaulting someone. Including laughing.

[Asker]

So, do you think I have a problem? Do I need help?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think it's over the top issue based off this one instance. But practice on controlling your emotions in high stress situations. Think about how even if they're a prick that's still a human being you're about to cause physical suffering to when you get the urge to hit them.

[Asker]

Yeh, i blacked out and seen him as a demon, rather a human being but you're right. Wooosahhh.

[Anonymous]

That depends if you think men and women are equal and should be treated the same, or if you think women are one step above children and should be treated- and forgiven- as such.

[Polocrew]

You used physical force, he can sue you for that OP you should have just left lol

[Asker]

F**** him

[Polocrew]

Woh chill. I ain't him OP lol I mean it's still wrong you slapped him, what if he Sue you? Lol

[Asker]

i would proabbly slap him again. i kid i kid

[Polocrew]

Lmaoo I mean this time just connect with jaw lol Wouldworththesuedmoney

[Asker]

dont u think what he did to me was wrong? why are men such assholes?

[Polocrew]

You were a rebound OP and yep it was wrong lol you just fel for it doe

[Asker]

I knew it

[Sexualchrist]

I think what you did was OK in that situation. I mean if he was withholding your purse...

[Asker]

I honestly slapped him because he laughed in my face. The purse incident made it worst.

[takumii]

Yep, you are the bad person here.

You invaded his privacy by checking his facebook without his permission, you slapped him.
No one should be slapping anyone here, If you don't like him just break up. Okay, he was talking to his ex-GF, big deal? he talk telling her things about you, that's rude, although, you also violated his privacy by peeking on his fb. You both could had solved the matter by peaceful talks.

[Asker]

Whatever...

[GreatnessPersonified]

"I slapped my ex-boyfriend for disrespecting me, does that make me abusive?"

Yup. Check that shit before you next relationship.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

In short yes he deserved it because he was playing games. Should you have done it? fuck no.

[dogman8073]

It's abusive I would turn around and walk out. If you think that makes me less of a man that's your problem