Does it count as physical abuse if my boyfriend has slapped me 2 times in 2 years relationship?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend of 28yr has slapped me 2 times in these 2 years out of anger. Those slaps were so quick and neither too hard nor too soft I mean I felt pain on my cheeks for some moment. The first time he did it I didn't understand say him anything, the second time he did it ( after a yr) I confronted him but he says he didn't slap me hardly and I didn't cry, my cheeks were not red.

And these kind of slaps sometimes are very normal in the relationship. He said its normal until he starts hitting me daily. I tried to make him understand that these things are not normal at all. But he didn't apologize for it until I discussed with him 2/3 times.

He told that I'm trying to make excuses to leave him and I'm making him feel insecure in this relationship. It's sad that he couldn't see that his slap made me feel insecure that's why I tried to discuss with him. He've given me threat, emotionally blackmailed me and said rude things to me but these were not on a daily basis they happened like once in a month or once in 2 months. Guys is this really normal? Am I really overthinking?

[1stupidrobot]

Please run far and fast. Its been 2 years and he's like this? Honey, he's just waiting until he feels like you can't live without him to start abusing you in earnest. The fact that he's already doing this and gaslighting you isn't a red flag, it's an explosion in your living room. Life will only get worse. Right now, he's breaking you down. Making you feel like everything you do is wrong, including complaining about his physical abuse. He's a narcissist, so in his mind EVERYTHING is about him. These guys are the worst. There's no such thing as a low they won't sink to to get their way. They have no empathy, no loyalty to anyone but themselves and lie constantly. They will guilt trip you for not trusting them, then the moment you do, they use the opportunity to cheat on you. This is just example, but I was in a relationship with a physically and emotionally abusive narcissist for more years than I can yet accept or acknowledge in public and I strongly encourage you to take back your life before wasting years trying to love a man who will never give you what you deserve or need. If you don't believe me, here's one question to ask yourself: Do I feel more lonely when he enters the room? It doesn't feel any better ten years later than it does at the start and it never changes.

[Asker]

I agree plus he had an abusive childhood too as his dad was a drunkard. He has struggled a lot but I wonder these innocent and charming looking can also be narcissist.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Typical devil, downplaying playing his ish conduct and gaslighting you in the process.

Technically, it isn't abuse as abuse is unrestrained and constantly but the fact he has physically assaulted you should have left him immediately.

You don't let anyone disrespect you in such manner especially when you haven't hit him first.

This boyfriend of yours is a p. o. s.

I would strongly suggest leaving him and don't have sympathy when he comes with
"I'm sorry bs" and that "it won't ever happen again" blah blah

Once a person gets comfortable physically hitting you especially a man towards a woman which you are most likely physically weaker, with time it can escalate to abuse not just physically but verbally and death.

[DermalPunch]

No, abuse is very calculated actually. This is absolutely 100% abuse.

[Asker]

Really appreciate your suggestion thank you 😊

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Welcome. Get out. Always force yourself to respect yourself.

You wasn't born to be people's punching bag.

[HelpfulWoman]

Erm.. why are you still with him? he's an abuser through and through with the verbal abuse too!

[DermalPunch]

What. The. ACTUAL. F***. Abuse. And mindf***ery.

[DermalPunch]

Do not feel ashamed. Even the. ost Co fident women call fall victim to an abuser. You are not stupid and you deserve better. Please get away from him and don't believe his rules to get you back.

[Asker]

Thank you I will definitely follow your suggestion

[DermalPunch]

I hope you do.

[Constatine]

Yes it does.. not in the worst but still... And you say sometimes common... no no no.

He has to keep his hands to his self. If you my dauther and you told me what he did...

I have no idea what i would do... I think i would beat the little brain out of his head.

This is not healthy even if it only happend 2 times.

I bed everybody agrees with me that you " deserve " better.

[Asker]

Actually he told me that slapping in relationship is sometimes very normal unless he start hitting me daily. A 28 yr old can say like that I was so shocked and so broken but your opinion helped me a lot. Thank you 😊

[Constatine]

Your welcome 🤗

[Anonymous]

Hitting is abusive

[zeitgeist057]

I agree with this and every other answer on her telling you the same thing. You should leave immediately and if he says it's "an excuse", so what, okay, yeah it's an excuse the same way "it's an excuse" to leave a relationship when someone steals from you, lies to you, cheats on you, or otherwise steps over a boundary with unacceptable behavior.