I impregnated two girls... whats the best way to fix or support them?

[Anonymous]

I've had an ongoing friends with benefits relationship with 2 roommates. They told me that they are both pregnant and have not been with anyone else but me. I want to do the right thing but I don't know what it is when its 2 girls that are pregnant with my baby. Any advice?

Updates

+1 y

I always use a condom. It broke. I'm trying to do the right thing.

[ksoma]

1) be there as a dad
2) if they know about each other, make sure they don't grow jealous.
3) make sure the kids know they are siblings, and spend time together.
4) work hard. Men are providers. Work any overtime hours you can get. Work a second job. Do not exhaust yourself, leaving you feeling worn out, like you have no time or energy for other things.
5) IF AT ALL POSSIBLE, all of you should stay living together! Rent, groceries, bills, etc? The money for these things goes much farther if spent on one household, than on 3! Two mothers able to take care of infants makes the work load easier. You will have equal time with both kids, which prevents jealousy or claims of favoritism. They will grow up with each other.
6) turn it into a committed relationship, if you think you can. Remain boyfriend/common law husband to them both. This avoids the mess of you, or them, getting into other relationships, which could complicate things. It is very understandable if this is NOT doable or acceptable by you or them, but if it IS, it will solve problems.
7) thank you for doing the right thing. Too many men run away. too many deny it is theirs. too many beg her to just kill it. you're showing a maturity, and accepting personal responsibility, in a way that it seems frighteningly few people bother to anymore, and that is a bog deal.

[TrainwreckAdvice]

I agree with this

[Kester135]

Men are providers? I mean it's nice to see your not suckling the teat of feminism but you went from one extreme to the other my friend.

[ksoma]

@Kester135 No I did not. I never said women were incapable, invalids, or that they should not work or provide support. I simply stated that such a thing is expected of men, and if he has children, it is his duty.

[JudgmentDay]

I think you may want to have them go through a DNA testing or something just to verify that the children they are carrying are actually even yours. Because the last thing you want is to be paying child support for someone else's kid until they reach the age 18.

[ksoma]

if you have any reason at all to doubt the women, i support this. once you are on the birth certificate, you are screwed, no matter how much you can prove you are not the dad.

If you have good reason to believe them, DON'T do this, because if they are being truthful, and you do this anyways, it can damage the relationship with both the mothers of your children.

I think a simple solution to this conundrum would be if such a test was done automatically on all kids, but too many groups would scream that it was designed to humiliate women.

[FayeDay24]

Why weren't you using protection? Why weren't they on birth control? Everybody in this situation sounds dumb. First you must confirm the babies are yours. Never trust anyone. Talk to both of the girls about what each wants to do whether keep the baby or not, and go from there. I would say if you want to do the right thing be a father to both of the kids if you think you can handle it, but if the mother doesn't want you involved then leave it up to her.

[xXiTacoXx]

Step 1: Fucking stop having sex.
Step 2: Castrate yourself to prevent anymore accidents.
Step 3: Get a job.
Step 4: Pay the support.

If you can't do numbers 1 or 2, then at least learn to wrap it up and use some goddamn birth control. It's not fool proof, but it's better than nothing.

[M_A_X]

Step 5: Don't have sex with multiple women at the same time so this doesn't happen. If you're a woman, don't have sex with multiple men and then have baby daddy drama.

[xXiTacoXx]

@M_A_X TRUTH! ^

[MargaritaPeach]

Are you sure they aren't just tricking you to see what your reaction would be?

[Anonymous]

#Justice #Karma

Since you're so emotionally mature and open minded/free spirited for 2 open relationships, handling 2 babies will be a piece of cake. After all, your type is SO good at juggling and keeping things professional.

Maybe you'll see the seriousness and stupidity of having reckless emotionless sex.

[Opinion Owner]

Convert to Mormonism.

[AmericanPoet]

you fucked around and now you're fucked. No birth control on your part... stupid. Hope you have some merrily awkward Christmases

[REALisRARE]

Well congrats daddy! There really isn't much to sat. You're going to have to be there for them both.

[Kester135]

See if they would consider an abortion, if not, and if you can't afford child support my advice is to run, change your name set up somewhere else and learn from your mistakes.

[ksoma]

yes. the advice from an 18 year old on how to deal with a situation responsibly:
kill the kids, or run from your problems!

[Kester135]

@ksoma

[Kester135]

@ksoma I strongly disagree with the fact that a farther-to-be has no say in the matter of whether on or not he has kids especially when he was having safe sex and the woman is aware he put on the condom, did not take the morning after pill after being aware the condom broke and refuses to have an abortion or do anything about it, because this man then has to pay for child support that only ends up in the mothers back pocket for 16 years per child he doesn't want and if he can't afford to pay support he is thrown in jail, doesn't that sound a little fucked up? Also what does me being 18 have to do with anything, oh yeah right I forgot your probably American, we start fucking at 16 and our 18 year olds are still a damn site more responsible than yours.

[chrisbigman]

Own up to it, daddy. Don't be a coward and run. You may say it's tough now. Well, you shouldn't have had sex if you weren't ready. That's why I have always said that even condoms aren't 100% effective.

[selmo93]

Well let them make their choice.. and just ask them what they need.

[9mfeo]

Get a better job. Learn to use condoms properly.

[chrisbigman]

Or maybe wait until he's truly more ready to be a daddy instead of depending on condoms.

[9mfeo]

@chrisbigman right, because that'll really happen. Abstinence only education is *so* effective that the teen pregnancy rates have *increased*.

[chrisbigman]

That's only because teens don't really pay attention/listen to the abstinence only education and they don't think it will happen to them. There's not strong enough abstinence only education, apparently. After all, our school systems are failing are kids, aren't they? The parents are failing their own kids, too. This world is a damn human dispenser with no realization.

[9mfeo]

@chrisbigman that's why you teach complete and comprehensive sex education because it actually causes teen pregnancy rates to go down.

Teenagers have been having sex since the beginning of time. Do you really think that someone telling them not to because they'll go to hell if they do will stop them? Please.

[chrisbigman]

I agree with the complete and comprehensive sex education.

You're repeating what I have implied already. I never said they would go to hell. If anything, I'd say that life would get a lot more difficult.

[9mfeo]

@chrisbigman in my experience, supporters of abstinence only sex ed tend to be Jesus freaks.

[chrisbigman]

What difference would it make if I was a Jesus freak or not?

[9mfeo]

@chrisbigman If you were a Jesus freak, I wouldn't bother to continue this conversation.

[chrisbigman]

Pretend I am. Why wouldn't you bother?

[9mfeo]

@chrisbigman they're like talking to brick walls.

[chrisbigman]

Talking to brick walls? Couldn't they be saying the same thing about people like you?

[9mfeo]

@chrisbigman perhaps, but ignoring science and statistics that inconveniently disprove their beliefs is not exactly open-minded.

[chrisbigman]

That's true.

[Anonymous]

Introduce them. The resulting fight will probably kill them both. Problem solved.

[9mfeo]

They're roommates. They already know.

[M_A_X]

They were both his roommates. It's fairly obvious they know each other lol

[Opinion Owner]

@M_A_X oh shit I didn't notice that. Glad I'm not around that dinner table!

[ksoma]

they probably both knew he was with both of them before this came up.
that's actually his saving grace here. jealousy should not be a problem, if he plays things right.

[Opinion Owner]

@ksoma I don't know; I was married 14 years to one and it near killed me. I'll leave 2 women relationships to the pros.

[Anonymous]

this screams pathetic, i hope you learn from your mistakes.

[Intraluminal]

Too late!

[ejx629]

First go on "Maury" to make sure you are the father.
If you are then man-up and take care of your children.

[BangBadBxtches]

Stop telling lies on the internet is the first thing you need to do.

[Anonymous]

Try and win the lotto and then your problems are solved lol :-p

[M_A_X]

Not as much as you'd think, honestly. The lottery isn't considered a normal form of income, and has a heavy tax on it. They really don't even get half the money they actually win

[Anonymous]

Pay half of the abortions now, or pay lifetime support for 2 children, I would go for the former but since the women also have a say, really depends on them as well.

[Socialrealist]

nice troll attempt though

[skeptic007]

help them but don't let them abuse you becareful

[bubbletrouble]

Sucks to be you

[dominiquois]

Get a job?