I've been cheated on twice and it's left me bitter?

Question

After being cheated on twice and then lied to in a huge way. I can't take it anymore. I'm 27 and everyone keeps saying your young etc but all this experience has left me bitter. As I can't trust no man and dislike when they approach me.

What can I do?

phil2 · Accepted Answer

read a book called beyond boundaries it will help you rebuild your relationship skills... it's ok you are human. it's ok to be hurt. You have to say that to get emotionally healed. Then you have to
1. not act like a victim
2. make sure you stop bashing them, and just be like what they did is a reflection of them not you
3. you really have to not focus on you as the good one who did nothing wrong either... some times it is because you did some thing wrong. think about it. did you straight up tell them that if they cheat on you they will go straight to hell and that you are serious about the relationship and looking for marriage? You have to tell them no, I don't like that please stop when you feel they are mistreating you, even for little things that is maybe why they think they can do it on the big things... but no matter what just don't focus on yourself as the good one that they are the evil one... no one is perfect... work on yourself. Make yourself more desireable and move on.

Darkfairie17 · Accepted Answer

You have to allow yourself to be single for a while and focus on yourself. Cheating really messes with your head, it makes you feel paranoid, insecure and hurt. It's not something that is so easy to just get over. I think the best thing to do is to live life for yourself for a bit.

Do things you enjoy, hang out with friends, take up a new hobby. Maybe get some new clothes, a hair cut, do something you've always wanted to do. That will help build your confidence back up. There are many men out there who would love to date you and who won't cheat. You just have to find them.

Don't get back into a relationship until you feel you have dealt with all the issues related to the aftermath of the cheating. You will be a better partner for having done this.

sjoes006 · Accepted Answer

Don't allow yourself to be bitter work through to with a counselor. Bitter is a kiss of death with regards to ever having a happy relationship. B

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Take a break for a couple of months and work on your peace of mind.

FingerDancer · Accepted Answer

It is one thing to "think" you have been cheated on, and quite another to "know" that you have been cheated on.
In thinking, you have been cheated on you direct your anger upon your mate.
In knowing you have been cheated on, you begin to question your own value.
Neither of these situations is iron clad but both tend to be what really happens.
It is normal to feel bitter, when your taken for granted and cast away.
You can not wallow in self-pity for too long though. There are some very genuine good men and women out there that overcame that low point in their love life. And yes, it can happen more than once.

Borginborg · Accepted Answer

sometimes life deals us bum hands over and over again. the choice is yours. do you allow what these people did to dominate you and beat you into the mud or do you stand back up, dust yourself off and hold your head high telling the world that it won't keep you down. your choice. PS. I know it hurts, a lot and taking time to heal is normal. take time to build your confidence and esteem back up before jumping in the dating pool again.

SquidoutofWater · Answer

I understand how you must feel, you've been mistreated by two men and so you're hurting in a big way, that's understandable. However, you need to start analysing the type of men you attract and why you are attracted to the type of men you are attracted to.

If you keep going for the same type of men that exhibit the same type of traits then you're going to end up with men who are carbon copies of previous men you've been with.

Mandouby · Answer

Please don't cut off anyone's penis. I know you hate men, and I know the courts will let you get away with it cause you're a woman, and women's rights activists will give you as pat on the back for it. But think of the victim, even if you hate men more than you hate roaches, you must remember that they have feelings like you do and would become suicidal if you cut off their penis.

DJohnny · Answer

It has happened to many people. I've been in a pretty bad situation myself and it left me bitter more or less. The only thing you can do is move and try and make yourself happy. Once you can be happy alone you can start building trust back with people.

singlebee · Answer

I understand your are very hurt... Cheating is not something that is a nice thing to happen to someone... Infact it messes you really bad..!

But I think you should be really single for time being and concentrate on healing yourself... Stay away from dating... I can only say that its won't be easy trusting anyone... But you have to select your partner carefully and go for the right kinda person...
And not take them lightly if you are the reason why you end up getting cheated on...

Max_winner · Answer

I would say... choose wisely. Stop going for the sexy Kent dolls of men and go for the down to earth guy who makes a simple hard living. He might not be a Kent doll but be sure that he is kind, truthfull, sincere, loyal and who will love you for who you are as long as he receives in turn.

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

May I ask in what way are you bitter towards men? Is it just the trust and the approach you don't like?

cavmanier · Answer

You can focus on finding a guy with values are against cheating. Focus on his character.

Little-Hippie · Answer

1. Find someone who's just as bitter. 2. Yell at each other endearingly.

NajemEddine · Answer

being bitter is really attractive hh guys might appraoch u but won't stay long you have so much baggage and anger  that u will pour it on the guy for what the others did to u

Barrabus_the_Free · Answer

Get a cat and some boxed wine. That's usually what bitter, hateful women do around that age.

bilco · Answer

try a woman then, just use a man for sex, but seriously, thats life somethings work out somethings don't, just move on you will find the right person sooner or later, hopefully sooner, good luck

diegoD · Answer

makes me wander the people you date in the first place

Anonymous · Answer

I know the feeling. Cheated on more than twice and been alone for 6 years.. It does terrible things to you

Anonymous · Answer

well makes sense, most of the women on here, are bitter

Anonymous · Answer

Are you looking for our permission to date women or something?

Anonymous · Answer

You must to learn to be a better girlfriend. If you do things right, your man won't have to get his needs met elsewhere.

Anonymous · Answer

thats the kind of men you are attracted to obviously.

Manindark · Answer

Go find a woman and be gay then. What should we do?

10dsw · Answer

Maybe you should start dating women

Anonymous · Answer

Well. Ya know. Shit happens.

I've been cheated on twice and it's left me bitter?

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