Can you be friends with someone who rejected you romantically?

[Anonymous]

Is it too awkward? Do you feel embarassed?

[MrOracle]

There's rarely any point. If my interest in her was romantic, and I can't have a romantic relationship with her, then what's the point of being "just friends"? It isn't just awkward - it's like being hungry and being around food that you aren't allowed to eat. In other words, it's needless torture.

For the most part, men don't want female "friends" unless we're already in a happy, healthy relationship. Most women expect their male "friends" to be their "placeholder boyfriends" - to give them attention, to move their furniture, to fix their stuff, to buy them things, to maintain a high level of contact, etc. But of course, no sex or romance. That's a bad business deal if you're a man - you give a lot and get very little in return. Generally, the men who go for it anyway are secretly hoping to get sex or a relationship EVENTUALLY, and are biding their time until she "figures out what a good guy he is" and gives him a shot. Of course, most of the time, that never happens, but some guys are idiots or just can't wise up and move on.

The few female friends that I have are the exceptions - the ones who appreciate my time, attention, and wisdom and in turn do things to make my life a little better too - inviting me to dinner, coordinating events, etc. But they've been distilled from a large pool of women who were just takers/leeches of my time, money, and attention and had little to offer in return. Those women get cut out of my life quickly - and sadly there are a lot of them.

[JohnM82]

"It isn't just awkward - it's like being hungry and being around food that you aren't allowed to eat. In other words, it's needless torture."
Exactly that! It's messing with your own well-being and best to move on from them.

[Cosytoasty]

You can if you get over them and find other people to date. Clinging on to some false hope of a relationship? No.

Usually guys are cool with it as soon as the next pretty girl looks at us, girls for some bizzare reason find it awkward to talk to someone who they rejected or got rejected by.

[DerbyPi]

I honestly believe it depends on the people involved, how strong their relationship was to begin with, and how harshly the person rejected them.

If the relationship doesn’t have a fairly solid foundation, the friendship will definitely flounder (for the most part). If the object of one’s affections was overly harsh, there might be too much hurt to overcome.

You also get into a bit of a sticky situation if the person continues to retain those feelings—even years afterward. However, it depends on the individuals.

I think it can be done, but both people need to approach the potential awkwardness and hurt with care, respect, and maturity.

[Chrysis]

I can, but I normally have a really tight control over my emotions, so it really wouldn't make me treat them any different.
It's happened the other way around, too, though & that went much worse. After a while, she said she needed some distance from me because she kept hurting when being close to me, but not as close as she wanted, & well. She met someone else during that break & kinda developed some... or a lot... of disdain towards me for rejecting her. Said she wondered if she could've been as happy with me as she was with her new girlfriend, if I hadn't said no.
I guess it depends on how much control you have over your emotions.

[Hidden_P]

Nope.

He tried to be friends with me for about a year - even after I moved on and was in a long term relationship. It wasn't until I publically shamed his girlfriend that he backed off (even with her a good year in he was still snap chatting me for nudes)

To be fair to me. She's still a crap singer (he's in a band)

[Saranap]

Rejection is part of life, you cannot let that prevent you from being their friend. I speak from experience. I was rejected by this guy but then I took it as a learning experience and 3 years later, I am sharing my current romance problems with him haha :)

[spoonman2014]

I have asked out some girls, got turned down and became friends. I was jealous the one girl dated another guy but she ruined that relationship and mean RUINED. I wished it was me then I realized she could have ruined me like that so I was okay not dating her. But friends with an ex, that is like demoting someone in your company and asking them to still work for you. You gotta let them go and maybe you'll go to the same business venture and party then but leave it at that

[Qwertsy]

I couldn't be. Not because it's impossible, but because I would need to distance myself to move on. If I started a new relationship with someone else, I wouldn't want to be tied up with feelings for a friend.

[writing_essays]

I could and I have - I was once interested in a guy and he might have been interested in me too but I offended his religious beliefs - now we are friends but we might never be more than that and I am fine with that - I still value him as a friend - in the same way I did before I started to like him.

[Anonymous]

It depends on who he is and in what way he rejected me.

If I know him well and he explained why he rejected me I'd reason on it , and ok with that.

If I didn't know him all that well , and he rejected me in a mean way I wouldn't want a friend like that. There's no need to be hurtful when you reject someone. Rejection is hurtful in itself , but it's possible to be tactful and honest when you reject someone

[Blake0048]

No because if yiu friend zoned me you most likely think im a pussy which is degrading/insulting and means you thinm low of me. Think about it if you want to be friends and we get along well and Im a decently attractive giy what does that say about how you feel aboit me? No I wouldn't remain friends.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I could be friends, but not immediately after she rejected me. Romantic feelings don't just go away because someone rejects you. After I'm past those feelings (which could take weeks or even months), I'd be willing to be friends.

[Anonymous]

honestly it depends. i was rejected by a girl recently who i liked a lot and still do. but to me having her in my life even if it was just as a friend was important so i tried to make it work and not make it awkward. however, she doesn't want to stay friends it seems so i guess it only works if there is a mutual feeling of wanting to make things work even as friends. if you can't take the hurt i'd say don't be friends. it only brings pain.

[chelsfaith]

All these people saying no but Im still friends with all the guys I've turned down because i didn't want a relationship. And i still hang out and talk to all of them. But maybe its because im younger ahaha

[MrOracle]

You're right in that it's because you/they're younger... but it's because those guys are still hoping that if they hang out with you and be your "friend" that you'll eventually change your mind about them and give them a chance (at sex or maybe at love). In other words, they're in your FriendZone, hoping to one day escape.

When they get older and more experienced, most will figure out that this ploy almost never works out for them, and it's mostly a waste of time - and they'll learn to move on after being rejected rather than staying in the girl's orbit hoping she'll eventually figure out that he's a good guy/hot/safe/whatever.

[Daniel_F]

I like to quote Domics: "If you thought this person was so important that you would want them to be your boyfriend/girlfriend then you guys should be amazing friends. Unless you only liked them for their looks in which case..."

[cth96190]

No, because that means relegation to the Friend Zone, which is a place of desolation from which no man returns.
If she is not interested, move on and do not look back.

[jay2canSea]

That has happened to me except I was the one who did the rejecting, he was mad at me for almost a year but eventually we became friends again. I guess it all depends on your situation and if you would rather have that person in you life or not.

[reptocarl]

Only if you were very close friends for a long time first

[AskAlthea]

You can be, it might be a bit awkward at first, but if it's done in a kind way, you can salvage a friendship. It might not be the same friendship as before the rejection.

[Notorisch_Arschloch]

Anyone stupid enough to pass on such magnificent opportunity is too stupid to be any kind of fun to be friends with

[SirRexington]

No. It's too painful to be reminded everytime you see them.

[blondfrog]

No it'd be too awkward. And you think this too if you rejected a guy you wouldnt' every want to hang out with him.

[Leandri]

Nopes... no way... if that's the case then that person don't even deserve my friendship

[art84]

No, tried to it but it didn't work out and was too awkward to do so after that girl rejected me.

[ToruMatsuda]

Yeah but then I don't know the interest disappears and I go back under a rock

[Anonymous]

Yeah. I knew someone who wrote me an entire letter confessing to me and I turned him down. It actually brought us closer. He became my best friend. It all depends on how you view it.