ok it depends...i am an ex dancer I danced when I was around 18-21. Now there are two kinds of guys who come into strip clubs I have noticed...the guys who come in with his buddies for fun and laughs...and the ones who come to get lap dances and look for more. Now if he is just going with his buds and it is THEIR idea not his, and he has NO intention on getting a lap dance then it should be fine...but remember he is most likely giving these women his own hard earned cash. You should ask him if you can strip for him, but he should give you money if he is giving these hoe bags money.
now if he is going because he just NEEDS to see some naked ladies, and he gets lappys...then you need to worry. with certain women lap dances get VERY dirty. I have caught girls groping men's crotches, giving them head, rubbing their boobs in their faces (this is why I quit I couldn't do this trash). Now I know I sure as hell would not want MY man getting rubbed by some nasty stripper. These girls are raunchy...they will do anything for a quick buck. Even the "classiest" ones will but you need to pay them extra...and they only do outcall (out of the club, at a hotel or some other private place to please the man).
talk to him about it and see which catagory he falls under. and let him know that you and your girls will be going to a male strip club =)...because us girls LOVE looking and hot men!
i don't know if you should leave him that is solely up to you. if he is getting lap dances and giving them almost all his paycheck and paying for extras, YES dump him!
If you trust him and it's a one time thing,*let* him go.I use the term *let* because you don't own him,and the second you start giving him rules and trying to take away his freedom,is the second when the real problems begin.
Why do you not feel comfortable with him going?
You do realize,with clothes off or with clothes on,there's always going to be more attractive girls than you,there's always going to be a sexier girl,there's always going to be a more beautiful girl.There's always going to be a hotter guy and a more handsome guy.
He's always going to look.Guys who are married or going out with models and porn stars are going to look and gawk at other attractive girls.It's human nature to be attracted to something attractive.
Simply ask him why he is going to the strip club and go on with your life.If you're really contemplating ending your relationship because he wants to go to the strip club,then there's deeper issues.
The fact that he does not take into consideration your feelings towards his actions shows another problem.Lack of respect there.I would talk to him about that.Tell him that you personally felt disrespected and do not attack him or play victim because you will just come off as being insecure and not having trust towards him
Personally, if its such a big deal, then you shouldn't really be in any relationship. My opinion.. you should just go with him. Its just like any bar/club.. the girls are actually really nice. They'll come up to you and talk to you... go get a lap dance.. it'll get your dude really wanting you even more. Live a little.. life is too short to be upset. If he's a good dude all around.. and this is the only thing you have as to why you want to dump him, then keep him, he's a good dude... but if he's an ass most of the time and it isn't unusual for him to disregard your feelings.. then just leave.
To most guys going to the strip club is just a simple recreational activity that will never lead to anything, no different than going to the arcade to play some video games. This is how guys see it and if you can't let it go at that then you will never be able understand or relate to guys on the matter and you will always have problems.
In short, get over yourself here. He probably won't get into any trouble while he's there and he won't be going home with any of the strippers or anything. If you make a big deal out of it you're only sabotaging yourself because you being a controlling b*tch over this is NO different than the girls I've dated who had issues with my love for motorcycles. It's NO different at all. And I didn't stand for it. It's only different in your eyes because you have opinions on what a relationship should be like that are rooted in fantasy, not reality.
Well, strip clubs and p*rn movies are not by itself something worth of breaking up (it's not cheating), but if you are feeling bad about it and you told him, he should respect that. Meaby you should go with him, and see how he react in there? A lot of girls think that men actually "do" something in there, but it's nothing else but "being interesting". A lot of shaking boobs and butts. It's just something different. And if you analyse what is so interesting to him, you could perform him "the same performance" some day when he comes home. O:-) Believe me, he will be pleased...
He/they would not marry those girls, most of guys differ women for dating/sleeping, from those whom they'd marry... ;)
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29Opinion
You should dump him because after all the only naked lady he should be allowed to look at is you.
You should put a gps tracking device on his car to track where he goes. Follow behind him in your car. Stand outside his house and hide in the bushes to make sure he doesn't cheat on you.
Strippers are sluts and you know a strip club is really a whore house, they all end up having sex with the customers. It happens all the time.
Or maybe you should let it go and stop being a creepy needy weirdo.
Any person, guy or girl, who would tell their partner that they are going to do something regardless of how their partner feels, is not a person you should be with. It means he cannot connect to your emotions and he does not respect your feelings.
Put it this way, is going to the strip club more important than you? Will the strip club provide some sort of long lasting benefit to him? Will it even provide a value in a year from now? Or is it really just fulfilling a selfish need of the moment.
I am not saying it is bad of him to want to go, I don't know the details. I would take issue with a guy going regularly, but some guys do it as a party for special occasions and soon get over spending the cash that strip clubs gobble up. But even my opinion doesn't matter. Both of your opinions are what matter and it sounds like he isn't open to talking about it and thinking of you.
You women... strip clubs and porn. So against it for some stupid reason. Look, guys are visual creatures. We watch porn, we like strip joints, all that. You are his girlfriend, he is in a relationship with you. Not like he is going home with any of them! Usually strip joint time is for bonding with friends, having a beer or two and looking at naked chicks you'll never touch. Don't be jealous, and don't read too far into it or it's going to cause a huge issue. I promise. My ex used to come to the strip joint with me!
I don't think you need a guy like that, usually a guy who goes to a strip club will think of women as objects (I don't honestly believe anyone goes there for innocent reasons). Especially if he said he would go anyway, that just shows he doesn't care what you think. I'd ditch him, especially if he won't listen and isn't willing to compromise.
This is what you do, either go to a male strip club yourself with some friends or leave him. Anything can happen at a strip club, I have some friends that work at them. They tell me stories and anything from just dancing and sex can go down. Don't believe the "look but don't touch policy". If they want it, they just have to pay the right price. Not all guys go to strip clubs and its not a cliche thing to do. If my boyfriend was gonna go to one and had no intentions of inviting me I would be kinda concerned. If he respects you enough to care about your feelings then he wouldn't go. If he wants to get drunk, he can do definitely somewhere else and quit frankly that is not even close to a good reason for going to a strip club.
I think it just boils down to what a lot of people have already stated.. and that is, if he does this on a regular basis then that would probably be a red alarm.. otherwise just let him be.. guys DO do that for special occations sometimes.. how old is he btw? I used to go to them somewhat often when I was arnd 18-20.. but haven't been there since.. I just lost interest seeing as its a total waste of money, ha. my point there is that I've kinda "been there" now and I've grown out of em I guess.. so maybe he's in a phase where he's just curious and wants to be there for the experience of "being there".. but again, it's not like he's gonna go anywhere with any of them.. just a little fantasy..
IMA TELL YOU THE TRUTH,HIM GOING TO THE TITTI CLUB [lol] that's how we call it in jerseyy lol ANYWAY, HIM GOING THERE IS FUKKED UP. LEAVE HIS ASS, IW OULD NEVER DO THAT IF I HAD A GIRLFRIEND IM LOYAL =) ... EVEN THO IN MOST STRIP CLUBS You CANT TOUCH THE GIRLS ONLY "LOOK AND PAY" WHICH IS GAYY LOL...BUT THERE SOME STRIP CLUBS THAT THE GIRLS COME AND RUB THERE VAGINA ON YOUR LAP/LEG. AND THATS A PROB FOR U. SO WATCH OUT...IS UR DECESSION!...BUT MY HONEST OPINION IS THAT HES AN ASSHOLE AND HE DONT DESERVE A CUTE HONEST CHICK LIKE YOU<33
my boyfriend goes to strips clubs once in a blue moon if he's on a mad night out with his mates. At the end of the day, if you don't trust him, you shouldn't be going out with him anyway. But strip clubs are often places that guys go to as part of their ritual "Piss up". They are horrible places, and I can't stand them. But I wouldn't expect him to tell me that I couldn't go to my friends birthday party because a male stripper was there... or that I can't enjoy a fun ann summers party with my friends...
It's the same as p*rn to blokes. If you can't handle it, find another guy. But I wouldn't say he's a bad person because he goes. He just enjoys the look of beautiful women prancing around in their underwear. I doubt you'd refuse to look if a bunch of hot guys were prancing around in boxers for you.
Ok I realize you're not comfortable with the idea of your boyfriend going to watch hot women strip but realize its a lot better for him to go to a strip club than night club. So he goes to a strip club gets a private dance or two but that's it, that's all he can do. He goes to a night club can get grinded on he can touch where ever he wants, get a kiss a number or a quick shag. Get the picture? Yes strip clubs can seem like the worst place you're s.o can go but its not.+So+relax+let+him+enjoy+it,+you+telling+he+can't+go+is+not+going+to+stop+him+from+going+it's+only+going+to+stop+him+from+telling+you+he's+going.+
Initially I want to tell you to leave him and move on but giving up on a relationship every time your partner does something you disagree with isn't exactly mature. I say, whenever he goes out to a strip club, gather up your girls and go to a strip club or to a place you know he doesn't want you to be. Do this when he least expect it. For example when you know he's expecting a romantic night with you, tell him something came up and hang out with your girls all night.Talking to him isn't working so I say take some action. He's fine doing something that you disagree with so you do something he disagrees with. You act as his mirror and reflect his behavior! Eventually, he'll come to the light!
ehhhhh its only a strip club its not like he's doing anything wrong.. Besides most of the strippers are not all that good looking an some even suck at dancing :) If you have a self esteem issue maybe you should work on that a little bit. Since he has disregarded what you want well... your not married but maybe you should reflect a bit but you really can't tell your man what he can an cannot do just like he cannot do so to you :)
I have gone to private parties with my x before and it really wasn't all that bad. I always thought prior that it was disgusting but to be quiet honest with you I was laughing at it! :)
The fact he is going to the strip club is not a big deal.
The fact that he doesn't care how you feel about it is a big deal.
Why don't you go with him? He can't stop you.
Most of the guys I know enjoy it when their ladies go with them and generally the strippers throw more attentionto the ladies anyway so he can have all the women near him, but you control what's going on.
Wellllll. Have you ever been to one? I think it was mean for him to add the "regardless of how I feel" part. HumphreyT hit the nail on the head. I personally don't see them as threatening, and if my boyfriend wanted to go I'd let him because the trust is there. I would probably tell him not to get too crazy and leave it at that haha. But I guess I don't see them as a big deal because I've gone and it meant nothing to mean. It was just something to do with my friends. But the fact that he's disregarding your feelings on the issue should be more alarming than his wanting to go.
oh my God, get over it. If he doesn’t go every weekend and blows his money, what's the big deal? Wow…he’ll see some titties. It’s the f***ing strip club not the whore house. Boys will be boys. The only advice I have to you is to go with him. Strip clubs are fun! And the strippers make you feel like the queen of the castle.
What you should be concerned with is that he is completely disregarding your feelings. Not to say you have a right to be his keeper, but if he doesn't care what you think is he really treating you fairly?
The fact that you aren't comfortable with him going to a strip club also says one of two things. Either you very much disapprove of such establishments and how they portray women as a whole, or you don't trust boyfriend as loyal enough to know where to draw a line. If it's the latter, perhaps you need to give this relationship a serious thinking over.
I'd totally go to a strip club with my boyfriend if he wanted to go, It'd be fun. I can understand a girl might feel threatened if she didn't have a lot of self-esteem, and most of us don't.. Do you feel threatened by him going or are you against it for moral reasons?
I would leave him. No doubt about it. Fucking disgusting. If you've talked to him about it and told him you really don't want him to go and tell him how it makes you feel and he's still going regardless of how you feel, I would leave him. A guy that goes to a strip club while dating is a piece of sh*t anyways.
best of Luck :D
Well, if this is a one time thing, I wouldn´t bother if I were you. It maybe because I´m Dutch, but I couldn´t care less if my girlfriend would see a male stripper. I can´t blindfold her 24-7 and eventually she will see something she likes anyway. Same thing applies here I think... Just let him look at the other women, that is what men (and you girls vice versa do (don´t deny it))
Ask yourself this question... Had you rather he go to a strip club where he's going to see naked or half naked women dance and surely he has the common since to not leave with any of them because he knows the kind of women they are. OR had you rather he go to a regular night club where he is likely to be hit on by women that he may or may not have the since to take home?
You shouldn't be too stressed out. Better that he told you he's going to a strip club then him not telling you he's hanging out with other girls. A strip club is really a harmless place, especially if he's going out with friends. Please be understanding that we're guys. It is NATURAL to wanna check out other girls. And I'm sure you check out other guys too. It's not a big deal. His heart is still with you enough to tell you where he's gonna be honestly.
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