My boyfriend said he's going to the strip club ...regardless of how I feel...

Question

Should I be concerned if he really does go to the strip club?And because of this, who all think I should leave him?I really don't feel comfortable having him go to the strip club...

LilPinkGirl · Accepted Answer

ok it depends...i am an ex dancer I danced when I was around 18-21. Now there are two kinds of guys who come into strip clubs I have noticed...the guys who come in with his buddies for fun and laughs...and the ones who come to get lap dances and look for more. Now if he is just going with his buds and it is THEIR idea not his, and he has NO intention on getting a lap dance then it should be fine...but remember he is most likely giving these women his own hard earned cash. You should ask him if you can strip for him, but he should give you money if he is giving these hoe bags money.

now if he is going because he just NEEDS to see some naked ladies, and he gets lappys...then you need to worry. with certain women lap dances get VERY dirty. I have caught girls groping men's crotches, giving them head, rubbing their boobs in their faces (this is why I quit I couldn't do this trash). Now I know I sure as hell would not want MY man getting rubbed by some nasty stripper. These girls are raunchy...they will do anything for a quick buck. Even the "classiest" ones will but you need to pay them extra...and they only do outcall (out of the club, at a hotel or some other private place to please the man).

talk to him about it and see which catagory he falls under. and let him know that you and your girls will be going to a male strip club =)...because us girls LOVE looking and hot men!

i don't know if you should leave him that is solely up to you. if he is getting lap dances and giving them almost all his paycheck and paying for extras, YES dump him!

peace-love-couture · Accepted Answer

If you trust him and it's a one time thing,*let* him go.I use the term *let* because you don't own him,and the second you start giving him rules and trying to take away his freedom,is the second when the real problems begin.

Why do you not feel comfortable with him going?

You do realize,with clothes off or with clothes on,there's always going to be more attractive girls than you,there's always going to be a sexier girl,there's always going to be a more beautiful girl.There's always going to be a hotter guy and a more handsome guy.

He's always going to look.Guys who are married or going out with models and porn stars are going to look and gawk at other attractive girls.It's human nature to be attracted to something attractive.

Simply ask him why he is going to the strip club and go on with your life.If you're really contemplating ending your relationship because he wants to go to the strip club,then there's deeper issues.

The fact that he does not take into consideration your feelings towards his actions shows another problem.Lack of respect there.I would talk to him about that.Tell him that you personally felt disrespected and do not attack him or play victim because you will just come off as being insecure and not having trust towards him

Mande1985 · Accepted Answer

Personally, if its such a big deal, then you shouldn't really be in any relationship. My opinion.. you should just go with him. Its just like any bar/club.. the girls are actually really nice. They'll come up to you and talk to you... go get a lap dance.. it'll get your dude really wanting you even more. Live a little.. life is too short to be upset. If he's a good dude all around.. and this is the only thing you have as to why you want to dump him, then keep him, he's a good dude... but if he's an ass most of the time and it isn't unusual for him to disregard your feelings.. then just leave.

WeaponZero · Accepted Answer

To most guys going to the strip club is just a simple recreational activity that will never lead to anything, no different than going to the arcade to play some video games. This is how guys see it and if you can't let it go at that then you will never be able understand or relate to guys on the matter and you will always have problems.

In short, get over yourself here. He probably won't get into any trouble while he's there and he won't be going home with any of the strippers or anything. If you make a big deal out of it you're only sabotaging yourself because you being a controlling b*tch over this is NO different than the girls I've dated who had issues with my love for motorcycles. It's NO different at all. And I didn't stand for it. It's only different in your eyes because you have opinions on what a relationship should be like that are rooted in fantasy, not reality.

passive_agressive · Accepted Answer

Well, strip clubs and p*rn movies are not by itself something worth of breaking up (it's not cheating), but if you are feeling bad about it and you told him, he should respect that. Meaby you should go with him, and see how he react in there? A lot of girls think that men actually "do" something in there, but it's nothing else but "being interesting". A lot of shaking boobs and butts. It's just something different. And if you analyse what is so interesting to him, you could perform him "the same performance" some day when he comes home. O:-) Believe me, he will be pleased...

He/they would not marry those girls, most of guys differ women for dating/sleeping, from those whom they'd marry... ;)

superdudeman · Answer

You should dump him because after all the only naked lady he should be allowed to look at is you.

You should put a gps tracking device on his car to track where he goes. Follow behind him in your car. Stand outside his house and hide in the bushes to make sure he doesn't cheat on you.

Strippers are sluts and you know a strip club is really a whore house, they all end up having sex with the customers. It happens all the time.

Or maybe you should let it go and stop being a creepy needy weirdo.

Tamikaze · Answer

Any person, guy or girl, who would tell their partner that they are going to do something regardless of how their partner feels, is not a person you should be with. It means he cannot connect to your emotions and he does not respect your feelings.

Put it this way, is going to the strip club more important than you? Will the strip club provide some sort of long lasting benefit to him? Will it even provide a value in a year from now? Or is it really just fulfilling a selfish need of the moment.

I am not saying it is bad of him to want to go, I don't know the details. I would take issue with a guy going regularly, but some guys do it as a party for special occasions and soon get over spending the cash that strip clubs gobble up. But even my opinion doesn't matter. Both of your opinions are what matter and it sounds like he isn't open to talking about it and thinking of you.

Anonymous · Answer

You women... strip clubs and porn. So against it for some stupid reason. Look, guys are visual creatures. We watch porn, we like strip joints, all that. You are his girlfriend, he is in a relationship with you. Not like he is going home with any of them! Usually strip joint time is for bonding with friends, having a beer or two and looking at naked chicks you'll never touch. Don't be jealous, and don't read too far into it or it's going to cause a huge issue. I promise. My ex used to come to the strip joint with me!

Jonny_ · Answer

I don't think you need a guy like that, usually a guy who goes to a strip club will think of women as objects (I don't honestly believe anyone goes there for innocent reasons). Especially if he said he would go anyway, that just shows he doesn't care what you think. I'd ditch him, especially if he won't listen and isn't willing to compromise.

m3TALchick · Answer

This is what you do, either go to a male strip club yourself with some friends or leave him. Anything can happen at a strip club, I have some friends that work at them. They tell me stories and anything from just dancing and sex can go down. Don't believe the "look but don't touch policy". If they want it, they just have to pay the right price. Not all guys go to strip clubs and its not a cliche thing to do. If my boyfriend was gonna go to one and had no intentions of inviting me I would be kinda concerned. If he respects you enough to care about your feelings then he wouldn't go. If he wants to get drunk, he can do definitely somewhere else and quit frankly that is not even close to a good reason for going to a strip club.

ivan5252 · Answer

I think it just boils down to what a lot of people have already stated.. and that is, if he does this on a regular basis then that would probably be a red alarm.. otherwise just let him be.. guys DO do that for special occations sometimes.. how old is he btw? I used to go to them somewhat often when I was arnd 18-20.. but haven't been there since.. I just lost interest seeing as its a total waste of money, ha. my point there is that I've kinda "been there" now and I've grown out of em I guess.. so maybe he's in a phase where he's just curious and wants to be there for the experience of "being there".. but again, it's not like he's gonna go anywhere with any of them.. just a little fantasy..

elfather4 · Answer

IMA TELL YOU THE TRUTH,HIM GOING TO THE TITTI CLUB [lol] that's how we call it in jerseyy lol ANYWAY, HIM GOING THERE IS FUKKED UP. LEAVE HIS ASS, IW OULD NEVER DO THAT IF I HAD A GIRLFRIEND IM LOYAL =) ... EVEN THO IN MOST STRIP CLUBS You CANT TOUCH THE GIRLS ONLY "LOOK AND PAY" WHICH IS GAYY LOL...BUT THERE SOME STRIP CLUBS THAT THE GIRLS COME AND RUB THERE VAGINA ON YOUR LAP/LEG. AND THATS A PROB FOR U. SO WATCH OUT...IS UR DECESSION!...BUT MY HONEST OPINION IS THAT HES AN ASSHOLE AND HE DONT DESERVE A CUTE HONEST CHICK LIKE YOU<33

lulu1988 · Answer

my boyfriend goes to strips clubs once in a blue moon if he's on a mad night out with his mates. At the end of the day, if you don't trust him, you shouldn't be going out with him anyway. But strip clubs are often places that guys go to as part of their ritual "Piss up". They are horrible places, and I can't stand them. But I wouldn't expect him to tell me that I couldn't go to my friends birthday party because a male stripper was there... or that I can't enjoy a fun ann summers party with my friends...

It's the same as p*rn to blokes. If you can't handle it, find another guy. But I wouldn't say he's a bad person because he goes. He just enjoys the look of beautiful women prancing around in their underwear. I doubt you'd refuse to look if a bunch of hot guys were prancing around in boxers for you.

cazza3 · Answer

Ok I realize you're not comfortable with the idea of your boyfriend going to watch hot women strip but realize its a lot better for him to go to a strip club than night club. So he goes to a strip club gets a private dance or two but that's it, that's all he can do. He goes to a night club can get grinded on he can touch where ever he wants, get a kiss a number or a quick shag. Get the picture? Yes strip clubs can seem like the worst place you're s.o can go but its not.+So+relax+let+him+enjoy+it,+you+telling+he+can't+go+is+not+going+to+stop+him+from+going+it's+only+going+to+stop+him+from+telling+you+he's+going.+

crazymango · Answer

Initially I want to tell you to leave him and move on but giving up on a relationship every time your partner does something you disagree with isn't exactly mature. I say, whenever he goes out to a strip club, gather up your girls and go to a strip club or to a place you know he doesn't want you to be. Do this when he least expect it. For example when you know he's expecting a romantic night with you, tell him something came up and hang out with your girls all night.Talking to him isn't working so I say take some action. He's fine doing something that you disagree with so you do something he disagrees with. You act as his mirror and reflect his behavior! Eventually, he'll come to the light!

LostXAngeL · Answer

ehhhhh its only a strip club its not like he's doing anything wrong.. Besides most of the strippers are not all that good looking an some even suck at dancing :) If you have a self esteem issue maybe you should work on that a little bit. Since he has disregarded what you want well... your not married but maybe you should reflect a bit but you really can't tell your man what he can an cannot do just like he cannot do so to you :)

I have gone to private parties with my x before and it really wasn't all that bad. I always thought prior that it was disgusting but to be quiet honest with you I was laughing at it! :)

HumphreyT · Answer

The fact he is going to the strip club is not a big deal.

The fact that he doesn't care how you feel about it is a big deal.

Why don't you go with him? He can't stop you.

Most of the guys I know enjoy it when their ladies go with them and generally the strippers throw more attentionto the ladies anyway so he can have all the women near him, but you control what's going on.

Anonymous · Answer

Wellllll. Have you ever been to one? I think it was mean for him to add the "regardless of how I feel" part. HumphreyT hit the nail on the head. I personally don't see them as threatening, and if my boyfriend wanted to go I'd let him because the trust is there. I would probably tell him not to get too crazy and leave it at that haha. But I guess I don't see them as a big deal because I've gone and it meant nothing to mean. It was just something to do with my friends. But the fact that he's disregarding your feelings on the issue should be more alarming than his wanting to go.

Secretgirl · Answer

oh my God, get over it. If he doesn’t go every weekend and blows his money, what's the big deal? Wow…he’ll see some titties. It’s the f***ing strip club not the whore house. Boys will be boys. The only advice I have to you is to go with him. Strip clubs are fun! And the strippers make you feel like the queen of the castle.

eshore · Answer

What you should be concerned with is that he is completely disregarding your feelings. Not to say you have a right to be his keeper, but if he doesn't care what you think is he really treating you fairly?

The fact that you aren't comfortable with him going to a strip club also says one of two things. Either you very much disapprove of such establishments and how they portray women as a whole, or you don't trust boyfriend as loyal enough to know where to draw a line. If it's the latter, perhaps you need to give this relationship a serious thinking over.

kittycat933 · Answer

I'd totally go to a strip club with my boyfriend if he wanted to go, It'd be fun.  I can understand a girl might feel threatened if she didn't have a lot of self-esteem, and most of us don't.. Do you feel threatened by him going or are you against it for moral reasons?

Kismett · Answer

I would leave him. No doubt about it. Fucking disgusting. If you've talked to him about it and told him you really don't want him to go and tell him how it makes you feel and he's still going regardless of how you feel, I would leave him. A guy that goes to a strip club while dating is a piece of sh*t anyways.

best of Luck :D

nijlpaard · Answer

Well, if this is a one time thing, I wouldn´t bother if I were you. It maybe because I´m Dutch, but I couldn´t care less if my girlfriend would see a male stripper. I can´t blindfold her 24-7 and eventually she will see something she likes anyway. Same thing applies here I think... Just let him look at the other women, that is what men (and you girls  vice versa do (don´t deny it))

fotogirltn · Answer

Ask yourself this question...  Had you rather he go to a strip club where he's going to see naked or half naked women dance and surely he has the common since to not leave with any of them because he knows the kind of women they are.  OR had you rather he go to a regular night club where he is likely to be hit on by women that he may or may not have the since to take home?

khayyam · Answer

You shouldn't be too stressed out. Better that he told you he's going to a strip club then him not telling you he's hanging out with other girls. A strip club is really a harmless place, especially if he's going out with friends. Please be understanding that we're guys. It is NATURAL to wanna check out other girls. And I'm sure you check out other guys too. It's not a big deal. His heart is still with you enough to tell you where he's gonna be honestly.

ScorpioLuver · Answer

first you gotta ask yourself: y do you feel so uncomfortable with him going to a strip club. Dnt you think some insecurity lies within yourself and him. I mean it has to be something else wrong if you contemplating leaving him all because he wants to go. Why don't you go together if you feel so uncomfortable with him going alone.

hannah_es94 · Answer

yes.

you should totally be concerned.

because for 1

your his girlfriend and if he cares about you he'll care about how you feel about it.

and 2

this is also important if yall sleep together.

i mean I don't know just throwing this out there

but he could easily catch something.

you need to have a serious talk with him about this.

purple4ever · Answer

Let me just put it this way, he might as well have said, look I'm having sex with someone else and really I don't care what you think so, talk to you later. Same definition, different words. Not that anything happen but, you see what I mean. He doesn't respect you, so why waste your time.

peanutpiegirl · Answer

if I were you and he tells you he is going to the strip club tell him if you go to that strip club I will leave you no questions asked and if he says fine then he doesn't respect you at all a good man would sit and discuss with you what they are going to do and if you say your not comfortable with that he won't go so give it a try and if he stays home with you he's a keeper :)

kaylajaar10 · Answer

Go with him. I have gone with my husband.(no I'm not bi) Strip clubs are no touch, you have nothing to worry about. If you go with him and don't get jealous about it he'll be all geared up to show you a good time when you get home. Men will always find other women attractive. They will always look, that doesn't mean they touch or care for you less. It's natural. Just like women. A totally hot guy smiles at you at a store, you like it. That doesn't mean you're going to cheat.

martinezbby · Answer

if you guys already had a disscussion about this subject and he knows how you feel about this and he still going out to party at clubs than he is a very inconsiderate guy he doesn't care how you feel which by this means you should be concerned if he is still doing this you should dump him because a guy who doesn't care about how doesn't care about how you feel about a topic than their is a chance his just their to get laid I know this from research don't belive me research it for your self hope everything works out and you do what's best for you honey:)

BeccaAshley · Answer

Be concerned if spends too much time at the strippers but don't be concerned if he wants to go every once in awhile. Guys need to be guys but if you are really uncomfortable why don't you ask to tag see what it is that goes on on his night out and decide  for yourself if you can live with it or not. I have always gone to the strippers with my boyfriends I find it an entertaining night out but I understand if that's not everyones cup of tea so just communicate with him, tell him why you feel the way you do, either forge some middle ground or walk...

elitedemon · Answer

What Humphrey said. The fact that he would go to a strip club doesn't say anything about the strength of your relationship or his commitment level. However, the fact that he's still going to whether you like it or not, especially if you have told him you don't want to... That's worrying.

samanthaa21 · Answer

my boyfriend "says" he never went\will never go to strip clubs as long as I don't go to male strip clubs.  I really don't care if he goes as long as he's not touching.  looking, whatever, they can do that on porn sites anyways.  no difference.  now if it gets regular, that's a problem.

hunnie-bunches · Answer

my babys dad went home with strippers and sold coccaine to them all there are like 20 of them on one strip and they all DO EXTRAS  if you know what I mean...But he was a reeal narcisist asshole from my own experience I wold tell him to plan on living there if he were living with me

Longshot · Answer

If it were a frequent thing I would be mad. If it's a one time outing with the guys I would not worry. He'll see some naked girls he can't touch and have a few beers and go home. Would it be any different if you went to a male strip club with your GFs?

Only if it becomes a regular thing, you should leave him.

RipnRawhide · Answer

the fact that's he's going shouldn't be a big deal..hell I bet you look at other guys every once in a while, it won't change how much he loves you...however the concerning part is the fact that your unhappy with it and he's all macho and wants to go anyways...a man should not be like that to his woman, he needs a little respect...because he won't respect your opinion I think you should watch it...he might not love you the same way you love him...I say tighten down on him.

stalinhornsby · Answer

I would not leave him. Strip Clubs are a racketeer style business ; if he is an alcoholic and that is where he hangs out , well then you do have a concern there. This could also be a time for you to be naughty at home waiting for him and wear some swankiy lingerie for a quicky or a luge when he gets home. Maybe he will bring a friend home while he is drunk and you can go out with a bang !

zagor · Answer

If he's going by himself, it might be a little weird. If he's going with friends, don't worry about it. Unless he is making a habit of it (like every other week or something) that is no reason to leave him.

A friend of mine was supposed to have his bachelor party at a strip club, but his fiance found out about it and said no way; we wound up having a really boring dinner party instead. Don't be an insecure selfish wench like her.

Anonymous · Answer

My boyfriend did this.. I thought about it and I know he wouldn't "do" anything with one of these strippers and guys are visual people... They will always enjoy looking at other women.. no matter what you do. It's not because they don't find you attractive or they find them more attractive... it's just how they are. The only thing I can tell you is to just relax about it and know that a stripper is just another "pretty girl" and... They aren't always that attractive.. Just lighten up. :)

Happyfeet · Answer

Obviously you've talked to him about how you feel about the issue and he doesn't care. It's all up to you on what to do next? I know that If I were in the same situation, I wouldn't be with a guy who would do something that I was uncomfortable with.

Nicolexo · Answer

dont be silly, guys do that, they will do it whether or not they have a girlfriend. Doesn't mean he's trying to sleep with them, Its just what guys do. Why don't you go with him? I went with my boyfriend it was fun.

Raven42 · Answer

There is nothing wrong with a guy wanting to go to a strip club. All guys look at porn anyway. If he wants to go out and look at naked women who cares. As long as at the end of the day he's going home to you.

mangaturtle · Answer

by your description, it's obvious he has no regard for your feelings. if he's really doing this. lose him.

Littletad · Answer

If all he said is, "I'm going", then I'd suspect you'll have even more problems in the future. If he asked, or comforted you not to worry about anything, then there is hardly any need for concern.

Reeses-pieces777 · Answer

just go with him if you want. I know but at least he's telling you that he's going...he just wants to look at other women...as long as he doesn't do anything with them...should be ok.

wellshii · Answer

Imo,if you don't want him to go,thwen he should respect your decision unless its a special occasion like an old friend coming back to visit or someone graduating boot camp,other than that,that's bs

jaywhite · Answer

i think you should surgest going with him I went to one a week later my long term girlfriend said could she come I said yes to my amasement we both had a great time got drunk went home and was at it like rabbits for the night it just depends if your open anuff to do things with each other that you havnt done befor ie. you go to strip club with him then you take him somewhere where you have wanted to go.

brandog712 · Answer

Get over it, guys go to the strip club.  Yeah if he's blowing hundreds of dollars, if he's going there way too often --- something is wrong and you should talk about it.  If he's just going to the strip club with his friends it is completely normal and should be no cause for concern.

corybabe · Answer

If he says he's going regardless of how you feel, that should be a sign that he doesn't care what you think.

and he more than likely won't every care about your opinions.

I wouldn't let him go.

I would probably dump him.

I hope everything works out =)

-Cory xD

VladimirMedvedev · Answer

As long as there isn't alchohol being served there, most likely you won't have a problem. And this extra-relationship lust is normal for men, it is an instinct embedded within our gender.

Anonymous · Answer

He is a parton of the arts, supporting those who need the most help,  why should you be concerned if he looks at other girls,   or maybe you can do it for him and save him the time and money or maybe charge him if you like...

El-Niño · Answer

If youv'e been together for a long time, you should let him go but not too much... I mean like only 2 times in his life, but actually guys sometimes need a brake from a realationship or they get serious pressure !

shes-a-lady · Answer

go to a male strip club. if he's okay with that, its all good

bluewingedangel828 · Answer

leave his ass or go have some hot sexy man strip for you I mean its needs to be fair in a relationship right?!?!? ;)

link55 · Answer

If he goes for an occasion (birthday, bucks party) or just to try it its ok. If he is cancelling your dates to go there it is a problem.

chiefnavarro · Answer

well if its with the guys for a b party then you should probably let it go. if just likes going every week  id let him go

mizzb8969 · Answer

Ask if you can go ! show him you can b as kinky, ;}}

Anonymous · Answer

That's funny that you ask because two female coworkers told me that they are inviting their boyfriends each individually to a strip club as a present for their birthday.

Anonymous · Answer

I think he sucks. I mean, I think you don't have to leave him, but you have to drum it in that it hurts ur feelings, that you don't feel great when he's ogling other women naked.

ALIgator · Answer

Yes!  Be concerned! Confront him, and tell him how you feel! If he doesn't listen, dump his ass! This will not be the only area in witch he doesn't take your feeling into account!

Spalitech · Answer

Of course you should! Are you kidding me? If a guy loves a girl, he doesn't see any other girl. To him she'll mean everything, and what she thinks, counts for him.

MorallySane · Answer

Your not smothering him or insecure, your asking your boyfriend to respect you and watching girls dance naked is 100% disrespectful! Would you really want to be with someone so disgusting? Dump him and find a nice boy with manors that goes to church

sweetheart474 · Answer

mhm this is hard.. I wouldn't want my boyfriend going to a strip club, I rather just strip for him. but if mine was going I would get over it, along as he doesn't touch the, or cheat on me or anything. don't leave him

mitsy · Answer

If he wasn't joking then he's Jerk and you should leave him.

My boyfriend said he's going to the strip club ...regardless of how I feel...

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

How would you feel about your boyfriend going to a strip club? Is it a dealbreaker?

My boyfriend said he's going to the strip club ...regardless of how I feel...

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

How would you feel about your boyfriend going to a strip club? Is it a dealbreaker?

We're glad to see you liked this post.