I got in a huge strop with my boyfriend (our first fight actually). Same as you, he was in the bathroom, I was plugging our phones on charge for bed (at the time we had almost the same phone). I had been chatting to a bestie all night and the Facebook ping went off. Due to the ongoing chat I checked what I thought was my phone. I was confronted with a message from his first girlfriend "I hope you don't mind but I got rid of the ring you gave me". This was 3 days after her WEDDING. I was thinking yon proposed and never told me?
I threw a wobbly. When he came into the room I wouldn't let him touch me or kiss me. I just said "you got a message". We didn't speak for a day.
It turned out the ring was a anniversary present back at 16. He had forgotten he had given it to her, but she held on for over 10 years
He sent a message back like "okay whatever" and he shuts her down if she tries to get reminiscent. My point was she's married, why is she thinking of you?
So I get it. But talk to him. Girls tend to leap to conclusions.
Not sure if you've said anything to him about this yet or not. But I think I recall reading a previous post form you a few days ago if I'm not mistaken about a picture on IG and him deleting a comment you posted on it? Was that you? If so, I would definitely confront him about that message and pay close attention to how he answers. But he's hiding something if that was you that made that previous post. He may not be cheating but you can't ignore the other stuff. He's either seeing someone else or talking to someone else. Id be prepared to leave him. Unless he can be completely honest about what's going on.
There's really no right way to bring this up. Just say something like..."I'm upset because the other day I made a comment on your photo and I noticed you deleted it. This morning (or whenever it was) I was laying here and your phone kept lighting up and I saw a message from "girl on IG." I don't want to assume anything, but I can't help but wonder if something is going on that you're not telling me. And it's making me feel a bit uneasy."
Word it however you want but don't go screaming to yelling at him. Just keep calm and tell him your concerns. He's either going to come clean or cover it up. At that point if you want to ask to see the entire message or convo, you can. If he's claimed its not your business or its deleted already, I think you have your answer.
This message is highly suspect. I think you need to call him out on it. If he refuses to show you the conversation then there's something there. Coming from a girl who tried to be the "understanding" girlfriend when I saw numerous messages from different unknown women on my boyfriend of TWO YEARS' phone who didn't want to show me conversations, it's a bad sign. It turned out that those women were cause to worry and I should've listened to my gut instead of trying to seem controlling and possessive. He was fucking around and I let it slide because I didn't want to look like an idiot.
Go and confront him immediately. If he shows you the whole chat he's not cheating but if he's coming up with excuses then his loss. If he does end up being unfaithful then u put your pretty little hands on his shoulders, act like ur leaning in for a kiss n knee him in the balls while whispering:"the lanisters sent their regards."
Walk away like a boss while swaying your hips. Hope I helped. 😂😶😇😉😏
Also he might not necessarily be cheating... Like everyone else is implying — it could be an old flame. So yeah but confrontation is your best option that too before he deletes the chat.
Of all the responses i read here, this one is the best. You should do exaclty this (no kick in the balls necessary, but end the relationship if he doesn't show you the whole conversation immediately)
First i would say its not your phone and that messige isn't ment for you. Then again you could have just told him at that moment he got text, and see how it goes. Now if you ask me, i would be pissed if girl would say something later and has gone trought my phone. Without knowing details, you have no idea of knowing so just trust your men and let it go.
This is tricky. If you confront him straight-up he might try to turn the tables on you by getting mad at you for checking his phone. As many have said, insta dms don't really mean much and this could be a misunderstanding so it might be safe to just give him the benefit of the doubt. You should still talk to him about this and find out what's going on, just show that you're willing to believe him if he tells you he isn't cheating or hasn't cheated on you (even if you aren't). That way he won't get defensive and will be more likely to tell you the truth
I got a spam message on my phone once that said something like, 'yeah, we should date.' I was WTF... trying to get my paranoid girlfriend to kill me? Lol
I don't have Instagram but this looks more like a notification that someone wrote something, sort of like Fakebook, rather than she wrote it *to him*. It's like the notifications below it, and I doubt that ESPN is taking the time to send him messages rather than just updating a news feed.
Then I don't know. Maybe she wishes something would have happened but nothing did. There's a few possibilities, and I won't even try to guess without having seen the entire message.
Just based off the first couple of words it seems that he tried to get at her but failed and later she gained feelings for him... OR he probably chilled with her 2 weeks ago and she was feeling him but he wasn't with it so she just expressing her feelings through DM hoping for it to go down like Yo Gotti
Ask him? If he's like me, it's innocent. When I say like me that's only in the sense to which, if I was cheating on my G. F., would I leave my cell phone laying around the house unattended? I wouldn't. People that do & get got cheating aren't just stupid, they're also telling you I don't give a fuck about you.
That doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating. Sounds more like she's into him but not necessarily that he feels the same.
I say ask him about it and ask what's going on and why she thinks it's okay to send those things to him when he has a girlfriend but don't just go in there accusing him of cheating.
I would confront him about it but in a calm way because you haven't read the whole message. I know it looks bad but she could be talking about someone else. You know him the best ofc if you feel as if he could be capable of cheating then I would've changed my approach about confronting him (and ofc if you know this other girl or not) Good luck
ask him directly. i don't recommend accusing directly, because you never know if it's just bad word choice. ask to check his phone and previous messages with said person. if possible, do some nifty stalking to find some background information on that person. wishing you the best of luck.
The best way to go about anything is to ask him directly. Discuss why this happened, and come to a conclusion then. For all you know, could be some crazy Instagram stalker girl, or someone he slept with, but you won't know until you talk to him and find out.
Well, we all know he is hiding something. It could be dissatisfaction with the relationship. It could be cheating. Only way to know now is to ask. You could either ask directly or transition into your finding from a general discussion about your relationship.
If I were you I would request to have the full message opened to you and read the entire message. Then decide for yourself. Would he be willing to show you that? That will determine the percentage of boyfriend material for you. And if it's a mistake, then have him do something about it in front of you like replying back "Stop it! I have a girlfriend. If you will not stop, then I have to block you. Consider this as a kind warning!".
I don't condone cheating, including flirting and all the other stuff but equally I don't condone snooping. Seeing something isn't the same as snooping. If you feel there is a question you should first and foremost ask them. Not in a interrogation way, just a simple question. At that point it's you believe or not. If you don't then it's basically over and the glances turn to snooping then come the stalking.
TBH, sometimes girls do it to make other girls jealous even though the guy hasn't done anything. I've been through it. If he's loyal forget it. If he isn't then just leave him.
She's talking in past tense, maybe a thirsty ex or a some chick he propositioned before you but who denied him but wants him now. Trying to see the good in the bad.
Instagram convos rarely carry any weight, tbh: they're mostly bullshit. Maybe bring it up to him, but don't accuse him of cheating until you get some more hard evidence.
In my honest opinion, he sounds like a total loser. I mean, *ichigan? Really? Complete idiot. Go Bucks, screw blue!
Almost sounds like rap verses or poetry verses. Just the way it is written. Can't really tell if it's from a girl reminiscing or a friend showing him an old rap/poem verse they heard. Not enough to go on from this.
4
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
In the very least, she's been flirting with him. I think she may even know he's not available and "wish she didn't like him".
Now the question is, did he really rejected her as it seems as he did and nothing much happened two weeks ago? Or did something that shouldn't have happened happen? Only him can tell you that though.
0
1 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
Any update on this? It would be great if you found it was something else entirely.
It's hard to say anything from the text it doesn't say he was cheating it kinda goes that way but it would be unfair to say he is from that info. Why don't ask him about the future ask him what he sees in 3 years time see what result you get
Yes unfortunately they do but it might let you know his feelings and then you might be able to judge if there is a problem. For example my ex who cheated 2 times and I forgave and I still ended single... but I noticed she had changed she wasn't as open with me wasn't as loving decided she didn't like public displays of effection just little signs that give it away
Bottom line is if you can't trust the person you're with then don't be with them. The fact that you even picked up his picked up his phone and read even part of the message shows you have major insecurity issues and you need to work on fixing yourself before being with anyone. Or you're always gonna find something wrong or some type of guilt on who ever your with.
not necessarily. it could be exactly the opposite. It's possible she trusts him so much that she just assumed it would be benign, and was planning on telling him when he got back from the bathroom that he got a notification from instagram. I've done this before, as I'm sure you have.
she's just confused. As AngryOwl said she likely just meant to read the notification to deem its importance as to whether he needed to know then or if it could wait. I live with my sister and we do the same thing all the time, read each others notifications if the other is busy and relay them. Its not so different.
But the message doesn't seem to be innocent out of context, which is how its been seen, so of course she's going to be concerned about its meaning and what that in turn means for her relationship.
Maybe she came into his life and is tryna fw him, you shouldn't assume. Maybe you should ask him about it but don't accuse him because it could be nothing. Give him the benefit of the doubt
Something happened between them 2 weeks ago obviously. there's a good chance, he cheated. Or maybe she tried to make a move on him and she regretted it because she knew he was taken. Its hard to say, not knowing more
*Red Flags* I'd confront him about it, explain what happened and have him tell you his side. But it doesn't look good, looks like he's flirting with other women.
looks like he asked her out and she turned him down. ask him about it. he shouldn't hide anything if he's not doing anything. if he does he's guilt of something
Definitely cheating. Maybe it wasn't physical but he felt the need to go behind your back with this chick. Just bring it up and end it. I'm sure he'll deny it.
It doesn't mean he is cheating but it does look suspicious. Just ask him about it but remember to keep calm so it comes across as a casual question rather than a demand for information.
Think well, try to leave it, if that issue is going be solved. Some times it will take little time. Be clam & prepare nice dinner for him and discuss with him clearly after finished your dinner if that issue is going to spread. show your spiritual qualities to your partner to solve issues.
Sounds like she's rejecting him. He might have been cheating, or might have received a text from an ex. Anyway, he's not going anywhere anytime soon. Why don't you ask him about it?
Is this even about him? It almost sounds like a poem or something. It may look bad, doesn't mean it is. I would straight up ask him and see what he says about it. Based on his reaction, you should be able to make a better determination
I guess you should talk it out to him about this and figure out, rather than leaving anything to speculation between you guys. No one is guilty until proven.
You have to ask him, but definitely not with this attitude. Just be open about it and say it concerns you, but don't immediately accuse him of cheating. You don't wanna put him in a defense position.
Not necessarily. He simply could've been looking at eye candy on social media and posted 'I'd date u if I was single you're really cute!'... and that response was sent
LOL. Even mentioning this to someone shows the intent that you want something more. There will always be temptation, but a loyal person will keep it to themselves. If my boyfriend said that to someone regularly, I'd have to reevaluate whether for not he's good for the long run.
If that popped up your girlfriends phone and you thought she was cheating you would do that same thing. It's only invading his privacy if he was doing anything and she went through his phone. A guy only doesn't want a girl to go through his phone unless he is cheating same with girls.
wouldn't be looking at her phone. to take a pic and post it on here as a means to endertain a paronoid delusion is an invasion of privacy regardless of anonymity.
If i was to see something like that message somehow. I would ask her because im not a child. rather than work myself up over a a probable misconception. Id tell you to grow up but just saw that you're 14 so maybe you will understand some day
That shit is all over media, ofcourse I already understand it. Stop bringing up my goddamn age in these conversations. I'm exposed to a lot of shit so I already know most things like this and about it and how to avoid. So that someday was a long time ago.
Yeah I saw a movie once. that pretty much makes me a director. Don’t try too hard to be an adult, you dont get to be a child again once you actually are
Adult is just age, because if it was just the way we acted you would be 13. I'm trying hard to be adult, I want learn more so these "adults" , that think they know everything because of my age, can shut the fuck up. I might be going to the 11th grade next year so I think I'm pretty close to being a adult sense I would have to go to college.
You obviously not really paying attention and just paying attention to my age, so I'm going stop responding but not I'm going get in argument with someone like you. Bye
don't be stupid. if you see something pop pu on someone's phone you look. your eyes at trained to see it. she probably looked casually and then saw it was unfavorable.
and then instead of asking him, she jumped to a conclusion that wasn't necessarily validated by the amount of information given. But by all means if you wish to help ruin a perfectly good relationship then continue enabling that sort of paranoia. "don't be stupid" fuck off cunt
and if it isn't then its a massive waste. only saying communication is better than assumption. But wonderful that you dont understand that. what do you suggest i be doing at 32 seeing as you're the authority on everyones life? thanks for letting me use the app that you obviously own too. super generous of you.
say hi to Hitler lol!! So you're one of the people who is so stupid and self involved that when they feel wronged they make holocaust comparisons. How completely daft. you little snowflake (Or should I say old snowflake)
You're just the most adorable little thing. putting people in little boxes to simplify the complexities of life like that. that reply you were too mature to make could have been copied from anywhere on the internet where safe spaces and fairness to the privledged spewed from
i know way better words than any of those. I've a penchant toward a perspicacity of verbose eloquence. But 'syntax' was a very good effort too... just adorable
The use of ad hominem really shows the capacity of your grasp of logical discussion though. It's so much nicer when people go the extra mile to make themselves look stupid. Anyway its 2am and this has become far too errotic than is appropriate, so take it sleazy shit hammock xx
you should ask more details about this. first read the whole thing, then ask his opinion about it and then you should make a decision about your relationship. good luck
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
+1 y
+1 y
Opinion Owner+1 y
Most Helpful Opinions