How to stop my boyfriend from leaving me?

[Anonymous]

Okay! Here we go. So me and my boyfriend have known each other since 9th grade. We were both kinda ugly. No girl wanted him and no guy wanted me. So we said to hell with it and started dating each other out of being lonely. We've been together for years now and for some reason, he started working out and getting more attractive. You see, I'm ugly by physical features I can't really change. He was considered ugly do to being over weight. And ever since losing the weight and getting more muscle, girls have been smiling at him a lot more and getting all touchy. But of coarse he's oblivious to all this flirting since no girl, me either, has ever flirted with him before. So he thinks they're just being nice. So what can I do to make sure he stays with me?

[IwanderIwonder]

It sounds like you got together for lack of wanting to be alone (you said no one else wanted either either of you... But that doesn't automatically mean that you should get together) On your part, Do you love him now or are you just (still) scared of being alone if he leaves you?
To the best of your knowledge, was/is his reason for being with you based on the same "I don't want to be alone" idea?
If you're BOTH together in this out of fear of being alone and nothing more, I don't think there's much you can do about it when/if he realises that he's now "wanted" by others.
If there's some element of love/like from either party, maybe you should try to do things together (workout buddies, etc.) And also try showing him that you appreciate and care about him...
I think, if he feels the same way about you, he'll definitely reciprocate.

P. S. Based on the info provided, It might be important to note that your boyfriend MIGHT not see himself any different from how he did in the past/prior to his physical transformation.

P. S. S. Being alone isn't a bad thing.

[MrOracle]

You continue to be open, honest, and supportive, and stop obsessing over stuff like this.

Understand that it's very unlikely that some random girl (even a super hot one) is going to steal him away from you - but it's QUITE likely that your insecurities will drive him away if you don't get them under control.

[Fitness-Fanatic]

This is a great example why people shouldn't just settle for anyone for the sake of being in a relationship, or just coz they feel lonely. Unless your relationship is founded on mutual love and trust , you can't make him stay.

If he is encouraging these girl's attention , and not taking your feelings into consideration then you know where his priorities lie

It seems you only trusted each other coz no one else wanted you both. That's not healthy for any relationship. As you have discovered.

You only know the true strength of a persons loyalty when they are put in a position for it to be tested. So use this as an opportunity to build trust in him. If he leaves you , or betrays you then it's a reflection of his true character

[Asker]

He doesn't edge them on or anything from what I've seen. He never really talks unless spoken to. It's the other women who get all smiling and touchy with him. I'm just worried that at some point, he's gonna run into a more beautiful girl that's a better match for him. And at fist it was just so we weren't lonely, but we've been together for years now. I've never felt like I settled. I love being around him and talking to him.

[DaniaMQ]

You can't really do anything about it. If someone wants to leave they will leave eventually. My suggestion is for you to talk with him about all this and tell him how you feel that all this attention he's getting is making you kinda scared he'll leave and see what he tells you. I dont think he'll leave coz of the attention he's getting. Good luck :)

[GirlExMachina]

Maybe don't get paranoid about him leaving you if all that's happening are girls liking him. It doesn't mean he's interested in them, and acting like you think he's going to dump you might be the thing that makes him start to think about breaking up with you.

[OlderAndWiser]

Be the best person that you can be and make the most of what you've got.

[10dsw]

Hmm this is tough. You are in a VERY BAD situation to be honest.

The problem is that as he ages, his options are only going to go up. As an example, guys who were skinny in high school start to bulk up around 20-25 and become fit/toned (which is very attractive in men). "Fat guys" in high school either also tone up a bit or develop "Dad bods" which is also very attractive to many girls.

Correspondingly, your options are only going down as you age. And I hate to be tough, but that's real talk. I would HIGHLY suggest you are doing something with your looks and/or spice it up in the bedroom because this is a DISASTER in the making.

[Lelaila]

You can never be sure, sorry to say that, but it's true. What you can do to feel more confident is by working on yourself as well. Maybe exercise together? Exercise makes me, personally, feel more confident in my own body and others can see that. Your boyfriend is already making changes, and I think you should do the same.

[Asker]

I'm not big myself. I just don't have very good skin or an attractive face.

[Lelaila]

I don't say that. It was meant as an example. You have to work on your confidence. Look at what you do like about yourself.

[madhatters4]

stop worrying and just be his girlfriend. the more you worry, the more insecure you get, the more likely it is that you are going to start changing for the worst and become a person he doesn't recognize

he's with you because he wants to be with you. so continue being you

[sawno]

Your in a tough situation since you started a relationship out of comfort not out of love. Unless he is in love these days there is not muvh you can do when a girl comes along that really captures his heart.
So lets hope i am wrong and he loves you, because thats the only reason someone would stay in this scenario.

[WalterRadio]

The only thing you could do is to drug him, drag him to your basement, and chain him there.

Since that is the only way to do it, and that method is probably rejected, then you can't.

If you are insecure, then you are going to break up sooner or later, so you might as well make it sooner.

[Anonymous]

You need to work on your confidence because that is what makes you beautiful! There are always things you can do to help you feel better about yourself and if he's making the effort to feel better about himself and you have issues with that than so should you. You can't MAKE someone stay with you, but work on your confidence and if loves you he will stay, if he doesn't love you than why would you want to be with him, that's just selfish, but at least you'd have the confidence to move on.

[bente2]

Your title sounds abusive af..

You can't do anything to "keep" him. Those girls are not stealing him away, people leave of their own will and choice. What you have to do is tell him this fear of yours and have him explain why it is irrational.

[questionsandanswers]

you would be surprised how many guys don't care about how a woman looks just who they are. but the main question here is are you wanting not to lose him because of love or fear of being alone?

[Asker]

Both. He's the only one to touch me like that and after a lot of years, I've obviously grew attached to him. I do love him and I'm happy he's feeling better a has more chance to live longer with a healthy body. I just know that a woman who is a good match for him will come along at some point and get him from me.

[Anonymous]

Just ask him if he'd leave you now that he's getting all "pretty boy" that every girl loves. He won't think you're dumb for asking. I remember asking my girlfriend if she'd ever leave me because she got super skinny and toned from working out constantly every day and became more attractive than ever. She told me she wouldn't leave me and she still hasn't 4 years later

[GorillaOne]

You humans are strange.
Tie him to a tree. He is not leaving for sure. Unless you him an axe. With an axe he might leave and take the tree too.
Don't let him take the tree. Tree is good.

[MoeAli]

God bless puberty.

I think that if he can do it, you can do it too. Why dont you start working out with him, get in shape, motivate him & be his workout buddy. Pretty sure he would appreciate it?

[Asker]

It's not the fitness of my body that's the problem. It's my skin and facial structure.

[dilligaff]

You can't change him or make decisions for him. Let him be and if he really likes/loves you then he will stay

[g30r9399biatch]

kill him and go too that country u are allowed to marry dead people

[3timesaday]

Let him go. If he likes you he will stick around. Your attitude can make you attractive don't rely on looks for that.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Have you ever watched the movie Misery? she kept James Caan around for a while

[almadafie]

this could go any way, I am not sure what you should do, but you can try talking to him about this

[es20490446e]

I need a photo of you for judging the situation.

[Regular1]

Balls empty, belly full, living space clean.

[MrSelfless]

Why do you think you're ugly?

[Beccashygirl]

Anal.

[sahas20]

lol anonymity takes away your shyness!

[Beccashygirl]

@sahas20 lol the stuff I write when there's a cider in me! I should have written; you've been with the guy for a while so there must be something there more than convenience. Try to find a shared interest in his getting fit, join his gym or go running with him... and he may just surprise you; not all guys think beauty only exists on the outside. Oh, and anal.

[sahas20]

lol hope she reads it

[sahas20]

yea and anal is important lmao

[Asker]

We already crossed that line in 11th grade.

[sahas20]

wow!! you're a fun girl!! he's a lucky guy!!

[Anonymous]

you can certainly fix yourself

[Asker]

Not unless I get plastic surgery. Which I can't afford.

[Opinion Owner]

you can certainly fix yourself, without it though...

[Christopher_Colombo]

Get pregnant.

[MargaritaPeach]

This is HORRIBLE advice, even if it was just sarcasm. If a man doesn't love you, getting pregnant will not magically secure his love. All it will do is stress him out, and leave you as a pregnant high school kid. This ridiculous plan backfires every time.

[Midget_Hug]

Scar his face!

[Anonymous]

Just lock him up

[Anonymous]

Go to the gym also.