My guy told me that I'm "pretty but not the prettiest girl I've ever seen". Should I just end things?

[Anonymous]

We've been together over a year. Should I dump him? I mean if he thinks there's better out there, why should I hold him back. He should go do better

Updates

+1 y

I feel like everybody is being really hard on me cause I want a relationship filled with sexual attraction &to feel desired. We're not an old married couple! I don't want him to just like my personality. When I asked him who's prettier than me, he said "girls that he's seen at parties or events". These are actual tangible girls not celebrities, which would be more understandable. If these are real girls, why not be with them?

Updates

+1 y

And I've done modeling, so I know I'm not ugly - to those throwing shade :)

Updates

+1 y

Last weekend he basically went MIA. He told me that he felt "extremely shitty" about things & went on a drinking binge. I told him that I don't think I can get past this & that I don't want someone that thinks I'm mediocre. He assured me that he doesn't & that he's attracted to me. Not good enough!! I'm ignoring his calls

[omoin]

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[btbc92]

The real question is, who was the one who asked the question? Because from your description, you were the one who asked it. No guy would be stupid enough to say something to upset the ones they're with. None, unless their that stupid.

Here is what you're not getting. There will ALWAYS be somebody better looking than you and you may be better looking physically than others. So what. If people are being hard on you is because you are very unrealistic and you have some unrealistic expectations. Don't ask questions you won't like the answer to. And dump him for what? Because you're that insecure? Then go ahead. But now you're going to be left miserable because you can't accept the reality. Looks aren't everything. He is with you for a reason or else he wouldn't be with you. If you keep this up, you can forget about dumping him. He will dump you because no man in their right mind wants to deal with a woman who thinks like this. He didn't think to be wise enough to keep his mouth shut and not answer the question. The next time you ask such questions he won't be normal around you anymore because he will be afraid that he will get you upset about anything. I'm sure he never said anything bad about you before in that year, right? Don't start a fire you can't put out. I don't know what happened in your past to make you believe that you need to be sexually desired and wanted. But your mentality needs to change or else there won't be a relationship. You asked, therefore he gave you an honest opinion.

[Asker]

There's nothing wrong with being sexually desired & wanted. Those are normal things to want in a relationship

[btbc92]

No. These are things that you should be wanting when you're married. This is not needed in dating relationships. Again, you're being very unrealistic. Unless he's been using you, if he didn't like you he wouldn't be with you. Either accept his way of loving you or find somebody else who gives you want. Because the right kind of person gives you what you need. You don't know how good you have it until it's gone or taken away from you. He would not be with you for a year to have this kind of drama.

[btbc92]

what you want*

[XRabbitHeartX]

Your partner SHOULD be the most beautiful person to you because YOU love them and they love you. That already should put you in a league of your fucking own. I can't believe when people say insensitive or stupid shit like that. Did he actually think you'd be like yay woop dee doo my boyfriend doesn't think I'm the most beautiful or what? What did he think logically about saying that? My partners have always told me I am the most beautiful in their eyes not because I am the most beautiful woman in existence (duh I'm not) but because they loved me, I was the most beautiful to them. Your boyfriend clearly doesn't comprehend that concept so find someone who will view you as equally special.

[Battooot]

you aren't ugly at all, in fact, you are very close to my type. So don't let what he say affect you.

But you have to have to appreciate that he is honest with you, the truth is, even though you are my type and have the beauty i'm looking for and appreciate, you probably won't be the most beautiful girl i see, unless i met you and fell in love with you.

I don't know what your boyfriend is really thinking, but the way i understand it; you are not the most beautiful person in the world "looks wise" but he loves you.

Though i don't understand why he would tell you that in the first place, unless if you asked for it. It's still weird for me, because i won't be in a relationship with a girl unless she fills my eyes completely, which means that i will love her and in my eyes she will be the most beautiful girl.

That being said, i don't know what to tell you about dumping him. I don't really know if he loves you or not or if he was trying to shut you down because maybe you were "too full of yourself' back then when he said it. But... i find it pretty ridiculous to dump someone because he basically said "you are not the prettiest person in the world'. If you met someone that told you that... unless he was completely and fully in love with you that he wants to marry you and have kids with you... then he's probably lying to you. One thing i appreciate about him is that he is honest, and had i been in your place, i would appreciate that my girlfriend tells me the truth. But i would also want to know if she is 'SETTLING for me' or not. If she is settling, then my relationship with her won't be for long and just temporary.

[Battooot]

He does not think you are mediocre thsts for sure. Or elsevhe won't be with you in thevfirst place. But what about you... what do you even think of him. Is he really that easy to get rid off for you and ignore calls? I know if i loved someone id never treat them that way

[Asker]

No it's not easy but there's just nothing left to talk about for us

[Battooot]

Actually... can you message me for a little bit

[ThatDudeWitt]

If my girlfriend asks me that question this is what I'm going to say...

"You are gorgeous. Not just because you're hot and have a great smile with sexy eyes, but because you are one of the best people I know. I don't really think you can compare random pretty girls you see with the girl you are in love with. I think you're prettier than every girl I see because I know you inside and out and I think you're the complete package. So, no, I don't think other girls are prettier than you. Yes, there are attractive girls out there. But you're the total package for me. And besides, you don't need to worry about who I think is pretty, not pretty, or whatever. Because I love you and you are the only person I want, no matter what another girl looks like."

Your boyfriend is allowed to be honest, but he is also supposed to be a gentleman. If he loves you, and really loves you, then he will make it a point to let you know how he feels about you rather than how you measure up physically to other women.

[DizzyDesii]

Wow love this statement. Lucky girlfriend

[ThatDudeWitt]

@DizzyDesii Thanks Dizzy. She is one of a kind.

[Wertime]

And now try to say the same thing without needing to think three hours to come up with something like this.

This is WAY over the top for a simple question.

[ThatDudeWitt]

@Wertime This did not take three hours. And it isn't way over the top, especially for the person you love. I am a counselor that specializes in relationships. I do this all day.

[Wertime]

@ThatDudeWitt It might not have taken three hours, but c'mon try to think of a similar message in a matter of seconds if you're a guy who's NOT specialized with this kind of stuff.

[ThatDudeWitt]

@Wertime in fact, I'd like to break this down a little. This question was not simple at all. She is looking for security and affirmation from her boyfriend. She wants to be secure in how he perceives and feels about her. The biggest problem I find with males in relationships is that they only tend to take questions like this at face value. So they give shallow face value answers. But if you look at "why" your girlfriend is asking you something as opposed to simply what they are asking you, you will be able to connect with her on a deeper level. That, in turn, will increase trust and security and your relationship will be stronger.

[Wertime]

@ThatDudeWitt True. How the answer comes across, depends on if this was a ''just curious'' question or she was looking for actual motivation.

[ThatDudeWitt]

@Wertime I get that response a lot in sessions. Here is the answer: if you don't know why she is asking or how to answer, then ask "why do you ask?" Don't make her feel stupid or give her a crazy look (which will be hard at times) but just get the motivation for the questions. Even if she says "just curious", that is probably not true (hate to say it ladies). So then you take a moment and you consider what she is probably needing from you in that moment and answer accordingly. You won't be perfect at it, but over time your communication abilities and answers for her questions will be more and more of what she needs.

[Wertime]

@ThatDudeWitt
It's kind of weird for both of you to 'think of an answer', which is not gonna take a handful of seconds again. Most of the time, people just want to answer immediately instead of having to think of an answer for several seconds before finally replying, though I get what you're saying.

And what if you can't figure out what she wants to hear? You're gonna say something like ''You're absolutely the most beautiful woman I've ever seen'' and she might think ''This guy is WAY over the top'', 'cause not every woman is gonna take that as serious as you want it to be.

[ThatDudeWitt]

@Wertime I have to admit, it's a trap/unfair question in most senses and cases. If at the end of the day all else fails, remember to be a gentleman. Simply saying "I think you're beautiful but I'm not going to say that I don't find other women attractive. But you're more beautiful to me than they are. Especially because of how I feel about you." should be enough. If she can't be satisfied with that, she will likely not be satisified even if you do say "no, all other women are nothing compared to your beauty." Ladies with this complex don't need a boyfriend, they need a therapist. Trust me, I have had to say that to several ladies and they tend to not like it so much.

[Asker]

Even I would've been content with that lol. I know he finds other women attractive. That's ok. Putting others before me is not ok

[D_Bone_Steak]

WTF is your feelings? You've based the probable conclusion off of just not being the best looking he's seen... which has nothing to do with the best for him.

You're being jealous. Do you really expect to always be the best looking? If I was banging Jessica Alba I'd be thinking lustful thoughts about Beyonce... AND VICE VERSA... You'll never be the one and all... that's just life and fact. Shit... I have multiple women and I'm still rubber necking the thick chick that lives 3 doors down... she's hawt. Yet, I have dudes coming up to me to tell me how lucky

You posted this question and I personally think looking at your question and asking yourself to answer this question would make you more woke to yourself. It bleeds selfishness... other dudes around for you maybe? It seethes his appreciation for other humans... jealous much? It purposes vengeance out of spite... do you happen to just be a bitch?

Not trying to be mean... just analyze it for yourself and you'll see what I'm talking about.

[Asker]

I'm not jealous of anyone but I have self respect. If he thinks there's better, he should just go find better. If he really cared about me, I would be the most beautiful TO HIM

[D_Bone_Steak]

So if I care about my cat... it's the most beautiful cat TO ME? ... That argument should show all the bullet holes and why people have been shooting them into this tired old argument left in the middle of the dessert since the 1800's.

You're not jealous of anyone but you have self respect. If he thinks there is better, he should just go get it. <-- really? So if you happen to find Brad Pit or literally anyone better looking than him sexually attractive... do you see what you're entailing here? You're basically stating that one should just go get what's better looking despite any other factor.

[Asker]

I don't want to be some "cat" that he just cares for & settles for

[D_Bone_Steak]

So you'd prefer to be nothing if you can't be everything and all?

Nobody will be the "prettiest" or the most "delightfulest" at all times... if you expect this from any other, you will never find it.

[D_Bone_Steak]

No one single human can be all things at one time... they can be the best though. 1 factor doesn't outweigh several others... numerically impossible.

[Asker]

When that 1 factor is physical attraction, it carries a lot of weight. Who wants to fuck somebody that they feel like isn't attracted to then? Not me

[D_Bone_Steak]

Pretty not the prettiest... doesn't hold weight to physically unattractive and wish I just had something decent to have sex with.

I mean if you're aware of being completely unattractive physically and you have nothing to offer I would advise a downgrade. If on the other hand you're just fine, but just not Jessica Alba...

See he wasn't stating a lack of physical attraction... just described a scale and news flash... you weren't at the bottom of that scale despite not being the tippy top of it.

[D_Bone_Steak]

A man can have a perfect 10 and not be able to put up with her as a person. Any somewhat intelligent man will pass a crazy nutt-bag 10 up for a 7 that doesn't mind some beer and video games. Nobody is perfect, but perfect for the individual isn't based off just a particular ideal like attractiveness.

Again... He didn't scale you as ugly... you're pretty. Do you really expect to be the prettiest? ... and again I will reiterate, even if I had Jessica Alba... Beyonce would start looking better. If I had Beyonce, Jessica Alba becomes evermore enticing looking. You'll never win at being "the one" when it comes to attractiveness. You can win at being top tier top shelf material... but you'll always lack something... humans are just like that. Nothing can be perfect.

[D_Bone_Steak]

If it were perfect... it would be imperfect.

[D_Bone_Steak]

After update response: My first baby mama is a model... I'd rather bang my current wife... and she'd never get the chance to be a model. Just being real about that. You're basing so much on looks alone. Figure out why that might be wrong and you'll see why people disagree with you. Jessica Alba is real by the way... she is in love with me but she just doesn't know it yet. lol

[Jay-Are]

Let me tell you this. I’ve dated very beautiful women. But I also loved someone I didn’t find so pretty. A 6 at best. Nevertheless I loved her with all my heart. I was madly mentally and physically attracted to her. I wouldn’t trade her for all the models in the world. And if by someone miracle she had become a perfect 10 I would not have loved her more. What I am trying to say that the looks did not affect the love at all.

So my question to you is if it’s more important to be found pretty by your boyfriend than to be loved.

Sure it’s nice you are the most beautiful girl. And sure he could say that to you but just like me he has seen prettier. IS he the most handsome guy you have seen. And if not, why are you not with them? That will be the same reason he is with you.

What you want is unrealistic. It is the stuff from romantic movies and novels but not of real life. I read your comment, you are not becoming and old couple. Change this whole thing because to me it sounds that you are screwing up a perfectly good relationship for absolutely no reason.

[I-am-a-nobody]

Yeah you're so plain looking, I can see why you'd feel insecure about it.
(ha ha... joking)

Anyway, your boyfriend was stupid to say such a thing, but he IS speaking the honest truth. There's ALWAYS someone prettier. If you were the most beautiful woman in the world, it would probably only last 20 seconds or so until a hair was blown out of place or you got a zit or you had a bad hair day.
Honestly being the most beautiful or the most ANYTHING is overrated.
(For me it was being the smartest...)

I hope I'd never be stupid enough to tell her so, but...
My wife of over 20 years is NOT the most beautiful women in the world, (by definition only one woman is). She wasn't the prettiest on the day I married her either, but she still... uh... meets my needs... if you know what I mean. There is still sexual attraction yet we could probably be called, for GaG purposes, an old married couple. Not to get too graphic, but she still looks hot to me.
Anyway, I'd prefer my wife over that semi-mythical prettiest woman (or ANY woman for that matter).
There's way more to life than exterior beauty.

And so, because I want to help... I offer one of my favorite verses...

Luke 11:40
You foolish ones, did not He who made the outside make the inside also?

Hope things work out for you.

[ausername88]

This is Awesome to hear!! Amen!

[babylips14]

Any guy should tell his wife or girlfriend that she is the most beautiful woman in the world even if he doesn't mean it. Just like parents should tell their children that they are the most beautiful kids in the world. If he's "being honest", then he's being an asshole. Or just trying to make asker feel insecure.

[rubyrose83]

Ah... then why is he with you?

And, by the way, please realize that it is not you "overreacting" by being upset by this.. I have never heard of such a thing.

If you are in a relationship, the other person should be more than attracted to you.. both physically as well as emotionally, no exceptions, and if they don't? and even verbally TELL YOU that they don't? (Which this boyfriend of yours sounds like he obviously does not) then he certainly does NOT deserve you.. so yes, I would say, you should indeed break it off with this jerk.

Secondly, just the fact that he told you that you aren't the "prettiest" girl he has ever seen, is just plain wrong.

* Even if he thinks it and it's true.. just out of RESPECT like any decent human being should do, he should consider your feelings he should not tell you that.. and TRUST me, I tend to be a brutally honest person myself, but that is a universal thing you NEVER say to the person who you are suppose to love and cherish... I'm quite honestly shocked. Do yourself a favor and move on, he sounds very rude and quite immature, it's obvious just by him saying this to you that he does not care about your feelings, otherwise he wouldn't of said something like that, even a friend shouldn't say that.

No one deserves that shit

[Anonymous]

At least he's honest. When someone's that frank it generally means that they are more trustworthy. From my own anecdotal evidence, the guys that tell their girl that they're the most beautiful woman they have ever laid eyes on and all that crap, they are usually the ones that are going behind the girls back and telling other women the same exact thing.

Now, unless you specifically asked if you were the prettiest girl he has ever laid eyes upon, him just saying that outright is uncalled for, but shouldn't be a deal-breaker by any means. But if you asked him if he thinks you're the prettiest girl he has ever seen and his response is that you're pretty but not the prettiest girl he has ever seen then you can't be mad at the response because you asked an honest question and he gave you an honest answer. If you wanted him to lie to your face then either A) Let it be known you want to be lied too or B) DON'T ASK QUESTIONS IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE ANSWER!

Lastly, prettier is not the same thing as better. Stop using the terms interchangeably. There are plenty of girls that I think are hotter than my woman. I had a choice to go after the hotter girls vs the person I'm currently with. Even though she's not as hot/sexy/pretty as those other girls I'm still attracted to her physically. I wouldn't be with her if I wasn't. And despite the fact that she's not the prettiest girl I have ever seen, out of all of the other women, in my own eyes, she was the best choice. In my own eyes she's better than the other girls that are prettier than her.

[qveensoll]

First of all if thats you in that picture you are very pretty! and I'm going through the same thing. My whole life there was not one person that said i look "decent" or "ok" it was always beautiful and really pretty by girls and guys. and now i havnt really asked him but i straight up said "i hope yk that im the prettiest girl you been with compared to what I've seen" it was kind of in a jokingly kinda serious way and he gave me a face and said that its not that i dont look good but he seen better and since he is an ass lover also said he seen better and bigger ass too. and one of the girls he talked to he started saying something along the lines "not sayin she is prettier than you but y'all almost the same" excuse me lmaooooo? why you over here then? why you not with something that you like like a fat ass? or a girl that he put us both "almost" on the same level? stupid stupid stupid. and then he tells me i need to be more confident. oh yeah for sure feel confident and not insecure and actually pretty after hearing all that bs from the person u need the confirmation and love the most. im stuck too i dont even know i honestly have no clue what to do lol. i know im pretty as hell and i can't literally be with any guy i put my finger on too i just can't put the puzzle together yk what i mean?

[Vesuvius87]

I don't think that was necessary for him to say. Unless you guys are in a very rocky relationship and about to break up, that's about the only reason someone might come up with that.

It's not about being insecure but rather not wanting to feel you're below others in your relationship? Who wants to feel that way? Would a guy like it if we tell him:
''You're fine but you don't compare to Justin Timberlake, he's the most handsome man I've ever seen and boy he sure is big too... bigger than you''?
I doubt it.

[Asker]

Mmmm, Justin Timberlake 😘😘

[Anonymous]

Gosh, why all the hate? Can we focus on the question at hand and just leave her alone? If you don't like her, if you think she's attention-seeking or bitchy, just leave.
First off, you're gorgeous, holy shit, I would KILL to look like that.
Second, he might have said this without really thinking. Maybe he thought you would like for him to be honest, but I think it was kinda tactless. I personally don't think it's too big of a deal, though, but at the same time, I can definitely see why you're upset.
As for whether to break it off, I think it all really depends on more than this, e. g. how he treats you normally, whether he's said things like this before, etc. But also remember that looks aren't everything. You might not be the prettiest girl to him, but if you're the girl he loves the most, that's what matters the most. I think the best thing to do is to just talk it out with him, explain why you're upset and stuff. Sorry this was so long, haha. Hope this helps!!

[Asker]

Thank you for the kind words :)

[Opinion Owner]

No problem :))

[Sam19XX]

That is not even her
https://flipagram.com/SophiaRose_625

[caligirl03]

Girl, is that you in the photo? If so, you are drop dead GORGEOUS! Even if it's not you, I'm sure you're still absolutely physically stunning, and I get the feeling your boyfriend telling you what he did has FAR more to do with his own insecurities and trying to bring you down a notch rather than being the actual truth. I once dated a super controlling guy who would spew the same shit to me who later confessed he actually just saw me as out of his league and would say asshole things to try and keep me "in check." Either way, it's NOT ok and is a major mind screw that can have long-lasting effects on your self-esteem. The guy I'm seeing now can't stop telling me how beautiful he thinks I am even in moments when I KNOW I look gross haha- and that's the level of admiration every girl deserves to have! Because ladies, we are ALL beautiful!!!

[yunali]

Girl your guy just wants to provoke you. He is getting off on making you feel like shit and you are stupid if you think he doesn't know what he is saying and stay with him after that. Don't be the "hot dumb chick", be a queen and dump that evil bastard.

[yunali]

I'm getting a whole different vibe here now. That you got into his face first insisting he tells you, all serious about this, and he just responded honestly at a loss about what you're doing, asking him that. If you did that just to mess with his head, that's seriously effed up and I feel bad for the guy. You didn't do that, right?

[Asker]

No I didn't. I did ask what he thought when he first met me. I didn't think it was that bad of a question to ask

[yunali]

It's bad to ask that, because it's impossible anyone will genuinely and seriously say yes to that question. That's called setting up a trap so you can torture the guy.

[Asker]

Say yes to what? I literally said "What did you think when you first met me?". Not a trap. Not a yes or no question...

[yunali]

Ohhh, then it's not a trap. If he WENT OUT OF HIS WAY to point out there are prettier girls, you should be dumping for good reason. That's purposefully trying to kill someone's confidence

[fabulouspancakes]

Normal people don't say that kind of thing to someone they're supposed to love. Backhanded compliments like that are a red flag for a narcissist/sociopath/manipulator, or someone who is destructively insecure. While it may technically be truth (there's always someone prettier out there), that kind of thing doesn't need to be said, and that's NOT why he said it. It's intended to make you feel insecure and become more dependent on him. Dump him now, it will only get worse.

[babylips14]

Best answer so far. I agree with you 100%. He's probably insecure and he may not even be telling the truth.

[Asker]

Yeah I was surprised when he said this because he had always told me I was out of his league. I don't even believe in leagues lol. He followed it up by telling me that I'm still better than him cause he always thought he was below average looking. He's admitted to being insecure. I wonder if he was being honest. When I asked him what about me makes me not the prettiest, his reasons were so trivial. Maybe he's trying to get rid of me lol

[babylips14]

Sounds to me like he's playing games. If he's an insecure guy, he knows how insecure that kind of comment would make you feel.

[Asker]

Well his games are going to backfire cause I really feel like I'm done :)

[Elarra]

Well, in response to your update, you don't have to be pretty to be a model in this day and age, though I do think you're pretty. But you being a model doesn't really mean anything.

But back on that topic, that was rude for him to say. I wouldn't leave him over it but you should tell him how that made you feel and tell him that it's making you think that maybe this won't work. I mean, if you're not the most attractive woman to him then it may not work in the end. Your SO should be the most attractive person you've ever been with period and that goes beyond looks. I've dated a lot of assholes, but none of them ever once told me they dated girls prettier than me or have seen girls prettier than me.

[Machiavelli]

Leave him!!, that's what I'd do. I am no where near as pretty as you are and I turn heads. My exes did the same things to me because they want to kill my self esteem. You are very beautiful and probably should date very handsome guys in your league to minimize these attacks.

[Asker]

Thank you. You're gorgeous girl :)

[Machiavelli]

Thank you darling, I see no need to argue with men, they respond with put downs and attacks. I will suggest you don't take them seriously, they are self destructive and can't help it. You are very beautiful and WE don't see girls like you everyday, they are just trying to kick you while you're down, you kinda look like Ariana.

[Chico_brah]

You sound like a misandrist here. Kind of goes against the grain of what we would call rational. We all as individuals have different values and those values are accumulated throughout a lifetime. What defines those values are life experiences and everyone's life experience differs. Considering that, we as individuals differ.

I understand there are differences between men and women within a societal dynamic, but to sit there and say that all men are so horrible to the extent of putting all women down in attempt to validate point is just false. it's false on so many levels. You indirectly said that all men are incapable of rational thought or just being a quality human being. As if it's just inherently out of our control. You brought it to the extent of not even taking us seriously. That's false and I don't do that.

I see women attacking me in the midst of arguments on a personal level time and time again. My ex did it. Do I think women are all like that? No. That would irrational.

[Chico_brah]

Wouldn't *

[Machiavelli]

@Chico_brah Okay, but her dude is a jerk and no matter what my beef with others girls could be, I will stand up for them in instances when they are being wrongfully dragged by the opposite sex. And I think a lot of dudes are bad, inherently... so yeah sorry.

[Chico_brah]

So your solution to all of this is to never take men seriously? This sort of correlates to stereotypes. Stereotypes exist for a reason and that reason is that we as humans are wired to recognize patterns. There's some truth in every stereotype for that reason. Judgement under the correct circumstances is completely justified and smart. Example, if I'm in the hood working security, I always have my gun on me. When I was first getting into law enforcement they taught us in the academy to have our hands at almost chest level at all times because you can reach for your lethal or project yourself from harm much quicker. Whenever I saw a sketchy looking gangbanger, you better believe my hand was ready to pull the trigger. Did I just shoot him though? No and I'd avoid that at all costs. This is my point though... what you're doing is using preconceived judgement as the determining factor of what that person is about right off the bat.

[Chico_brah]

You're essentially shooting all men down due to preconceived judgment.

[Machiavelli]

@Chico_brah Okay Chico I won't beat up all the men, I changed my mind and I will spare them.

[Chico_brah]

Ahahah good. Glad I could help.

[martyfellow]

He's just telling you the truth! Why hate him for telling you the truth? Maybe he wasn't very diplomatic about it, but hey.. we don't know the context of the conversation.

And of course, it's silly to say he should be with the girls he's seen at parties that he's never actually met!

[Asker]

How's that silly? If they're better than me & obviously local, why not have the best?

[martyfellow]

He's never met them and probably wouldn't be interested in meeting them! Probably nothing in common...

He's just telling you the truth here.

[Asker]

The truth being that I'm just a consolation prize. Who wants that?

[SnowyOwl]

He should say you are the most beautiful girl there is. Because beauty is about your personality too. And if he doesn't think your personality is beautiful then why is he with you? If he only bases beauty on looks, then youĺl have to be strong and move on to someone who knows better.. I know its hard when you are emotionally attached to someone, but if you dont respect yourself than your are setting off a bad example for anyone you are in a relationship with

[SnowyOwl]

I saw your last update. And well done! Igonere those calls. He needs to seriously apologize to you in person. It is not ok to try and manipulate you by victimizing himself and hurting himself and being childish through drinking... Sorry if I sound overwhelming, I'm just upset a guy would do this to a girl, even though it happens a lot, its not ok

[Asker]

Thank you :)

[photoguy111]

speaking from an entirely honest point, I've said similar things and not meant to be offensive. guys and girls are wired differently In the brain. I don't know the context of the compliment/insult but it could just be a passing thing and he really did have no second thoughts about his words or he was purposely trying to be hurtful.

you can go about this in two different ways.

1) talk to him about it and tell him that when he said that you hiit offended and wanted to clear the air
2) hold a grudge, let anger set in, fight, break up.

[Asker]

Why have you said similar things? What did you mean by it?

[photoguy111]

like one of my exes at the time took me shopping and asked me if I thought a dress or shirt (can't really remember now) was cute and i said "yeah it's ok but it doesn't look that good on you"

what i meant was i didn't like the shirt design
what she thought i meant was "you don't look good in that"

there are small differences guys and girls puck up on and miss out on.

[Anonymous]

He could be purposely trying to get a reaction out of you or lower your self-esteem because he's afraid that you'll find someone better and dump him. It seems like he's really insecure. I had a guy say the same thing to me once and he turned out to be very insecure/possessive who was aware that he himself wasn't so attractive; whereas I get attention everywhere I go. Any confident guy who is in love with his girl will tell his girlfriend that she's the most beautiful woman in the world even if he doesn't mean it.

If he truly feels that way, then yes you should dump him because at the end of the day, you don't want to be with a guy who makes you feel insecure and or believes that he can do better. I'd say have a serious conversation with him first and have him explain to you how that comment made you feel and ask him why he really said it. After he explains himself, you can decide what to do next.

by the way, you're extremely beautiful so don't listen to any hateful comments.

[Asker]

Thank you. Yeah he's said that he's extremely insecure & thinks that he's below average looking. I don't see that in him though. He used to tell me I was out of his league lol. I don't even believe in leagues :)

[Opinion Owner]

Then there you go. He's purposely doing that to mess with your mind. I would never tell a guy I like that other guys are better-looking than he is.

[Phoenix98]

Look I get what your saying about the whole attraction thing and wanting to be desired.

But you also need to realize that he wasn't saying your ugly just that he has seen women prettier then you and to be frank so have I. It doesn't mean your not lovely looking though.

Instead of over reacting just talk to him and tell him what you said in your update about wanting to be desired.

Also in regard to this.

If these are real girls, why not be with them?

If he wanted to be with them don't you think he would be? But he isn't with them he chose you, ask yourself why that is.

[Asker]

Thank you for at least not attacking me like others have lol. I never said I was the prettiest. And, in reality, just because he's seen prettier doesn't mean that he could actually get those girls. I'm what he could get, therefore I'm what he's settling for not what he's actually chosen

[Phoenix98]

Your welcome and I know lol.

Well that's both true and untrue probably I can't make that assumption just like you can't and i've seen some really beautiful women with men that were average at best lol.

And you can't make that claim that your what he's settling for only he actually knows that.

[janeyjaney]

Girl. you sound insecure. And you think negative and are self sabbotaging.. You are beautiful. Don't ruin your relarionship like this. There won't be a guy left, this way ;)

[Hello1216]

He was just being honest thered 7 billion people in this world and I keep seeing people better looking than my boyfriend. I'm sure he does too. When we broke up I kept dating guys who did look better but I didn't have a sexual attraction even close to what I had with him, so we got back together (obviously for other reasons too) . So if he shows he's crazy about you that's the key. I feel like from personal experience you don't want a dude that will worship/think you are the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.. it's nice at first but it gets annoying af later on.

[IwanderIwonder]

In my opinion, Nobody's the prettiest (or whatever positive adjective) girl anyone has ever seen. Nobody's the handsomest () guy anyone's ever seen.
It's all a matter of perspective. Like they say, "Beauty is in the eye (s) of the beholder."
The issue here, if I understand correctly is that He (being the beholder) should be infatuated by you and believe that he's hit the jackpot instead of saying what he's said.
I have to say that his response to your question actually hit the nail... For me. If he was being honest, then he obviously has his eyes (& mind) elsewhere or he just isn't that smart.
If he wasn't being honest, maybe he just was trying some reverse psychology stuff with you, maybe trying to bring you down to earth or whatever reason.

You don't want to be "settled for".
To answer your question, Yes, dump him. Assuming you weren't settling for him either.

It doesn't mean that it's the right decision but it's the answer.

[iuoala]

I think I got what you meant. I have the opposite problem. My boyfriend swears I am the prettiest (real life) girl he ever laid eyes on and I don't like that because I think that's not true. So either way, there will be a problem trust me.

Unlike my boyfriend who loves to flatter me and say untrue things to please me, yours just seems very down to earth and chose to answer spontaneously and truthfully. I don't think his point was hurting you. I think he was just being honest. I wouldn't have been bothered at all if my boyfriend told me that I am pretty but that there's prettier than me out there because that's a true fact. I can't expect to be the prettiest woman to his eyes because that only happens in movies. I myself find some other men more appealing than my boyfriend. It doesn't mean I don't love him nor that I want to be with any of those other men.

[Wonderer89]

You're viewing "prettiest" as "best" when they're not synanomous. Saying that if he thinks there is better out there he should be getting that instead is saying that the only thing of value you have is your beauty, which is lower than others he has seen.

Just because there are prettier girls doesn't mean there are better matches for him, or that those kind of girls embody traits and qualities he finds attractive in a partner. Him saying others are pretty does not negate your sexual attraction, unless he refuses to have sex with you because you're hideous which obviously isn't happening.
Really, I think you're placing far too much importance on one word rather than clarifying beauty vs quality girlfriend in his opinion if it really matters that much to you.
You're a beautiful girl but your bad attitude towards people giving their opinion is childish and lowers your appeal a great deal. If you don't want honest opinions then you shouldn't ask for them

[Warmapplecrumble]

This question is stupid.

You are very beautiful.

But you will never be the prettiest girl - because that girl does not exist.
Why? Standards of beauty change all over the world.

Yes there will always be women more beautiful than you, as you get older that will become more and more true.

It's okay to admire someone who is beautiful.

Your boyfriend is just being honest and you should respect it.

Beauty is not only looks. It can be actions, the way someone speaks, the way someone walks, their charisma.

[Jack489109]

look he's just being honest. It's not a bad thing. If my wife has a new outfit or hairstyle that looks terrible I will tell her straight up. She might be momentarily upset but the good thing is that when I tell her she looks good she knows I'm not just lying or saying it. In your case your are obviously a very very attractive girl and I'm sure your use to people telling you that you are. That being said he could just be trying to bring you down a notch. Besides honestly it doesn't matter. Regardless of how attractive your Significant Other is you will eventually get bored with them and having sex with them and want someone else - even if they're. not nearly as attractive. iIts happened to every guy I know whose been marrried for more than a few years. Doesn't mean they are going to act in those feelings though lol. that's why there's porn lol.

[Anonymous]

Why did he say that? Did you ask him if you are pretty or the prettiest girl he have ever seen/ been with? If he just said this to you without you having asked his opinion, then he's mean af. If you asked for his opinion, well... yeah, it was unnecessary, but he was being sincere. He could have just said you're pretty or that you're one of the prettiest girl he have ever seen/ been with (the latter being a lie if he was not just kidding)... Wasn't he just kidding? If i were you, i'd talk about this with him. Beauty is not all that matters, though, so just because he can be with girls that look better it doesn't mean he wants it. So, not a reason to dump him.

[Asker]

I kind of asked him. It was a conversation we were having. He did say I'm the prettiest he's BEEN WITH just not the prettiest he's SEEN

[Nyx_85]

Did you actually ask him "Am I the prettiest girl you've seen?" or did he just randomly tell this? Because if it's the latter I say he's a jerk (and a bit mental) and you should dump him. However if you asked him... Sounds like you wanted him to lie to you. But of course you probably also want a guy who's honest. So what do you want? Oh that's right.. you want to be the prettiest girl. Sorry if the answer he gave wasn't the one you were expecting. That's life. Just because he's seen girls he finds prettier than you doesn't mean he wants to date them. There has to be something there other than JUST looks. You sound very insecure.

[Nyx_85]

FYI

https://weheartit.com/thoticangel

[Vero123]

You probably should not dump him JUST for that.. but he should not go out of his way to say those things.. If it came up i conversation whatever.. Guys will always have unrealistic expectations of beauty due to media etc but his reality is YOU and your very pretty. BUT if he is always putting you down or there are other things in the relationship that seem off I would think about talking to him about what has been bothering you and you both could make a decision whether the relationship should continue... you can't be with someone you constantly tells you other girls are prettier than you.. it will just hurt your self esteem and he is not worth it..

[Vero123]

I just read the update lol.. You need to think of your relationship as a whole.. Does he seem in love still, his he bringing this up often, has he been acted strange.. You need to probably talk tohim about everything your feeling in a calm manner and go from there.. I do see where your coming from with all of this but just look at the big picture of things..

[aamina_m]

ignore everyone "throwing you shade".
you should be the prettiest girl in the world to any guy you date. he shouldn't say things like this.
there will always be prettier girls. the "prettiest girl in the world" does NOT exist despite what media tries to tell us. but you should be the prettiest to HIM. get what I mean?

[backdoorman]

If everyone was honest, probably less than 1% of both men and women would say their partner is the best looking man or woman they've ever seen. That doesn't mean he is not passionately attracted to you sexually and romantically.

But the issue is that this is necessarily the time to be honest. My question to you is how is he as a partner aside from this poor judgement? Is he good to you? Is he good in bed? Is he a descent human being? Do you get along well? Do you enjoy spending time together?

Those are the important things, not whether he is honest with you when you ask him if your jeans make you look fat.

[backdoorman]

... this *isn't necessarily the time to be honest

[Billy_HashTag]

you must think very highly of yourself if you think you are the absolute best looking girl he has ever seen.

seriously, just take that in for a second. how many girls has he seen in his life time? and you're number 1?

I agree, he shouldn't have said what he did, he was an idiot to do so, but common sense should tell you you're not the best looking girl he has ever seen.

not to be horrible but you need to get over yourself and he needs to think before he speaks.

[Asker]

If I'm not then he doesn't need to be with me then

[Billy_HashTag]

then so be it... he has given you his answer. you are not the best looking girl he has ever seen and that leaves you with 2 options... grow up and join the real world, or leave him. its as simple as that.

if you insist on trying to be the most beautiful girl your partner has ever seen, you are either going to end up very lonely or living a lie trying to convince yourself you are something you're not.

once again, im not trying to be horrible here but you obviously think very highly of yourself and arrogance isn't very attractive and he was an idiot to speak so bluntly.

either way i dont see the relationship lasting, you obviously want to be worshipped as some sort of goddess and he can see what he has.

[Billy_HashTag]

sorry, typo.

edit: either way i dont see the relationship lasting, you obviously want to be worshipped as some sort of goddess and he can't see what he has.

[babylips14]

@ OP, I agree with the part that he needs to think before he speaks, however most guys who are truly in love with their girlfriends truly do believe that they are the most beautiful woman in the world even with their flaws or will at least tell their girlfriends that they are. I know I've felt that way about all of the guys I fell in love with because that's just how the mind works when you're in love.
I don't mean to sound like a bitch, but if a guy openly tells you that you're not the most beautiful woman in the world or that some other girl looks better than you do , then he's a dumbass and an asshole.

[Asker]

@babylips14
Thank you. Agreed :)

[Billy_HashTag]

@babylips14 yes i agree. I already said he was an idiot for being so blunt but the asker is totally fixated on her physical appearance and that level of arrogance is unattractive.

"And I've done modeling, so I know I'm not ugly - to those throwing shade"

yeah great... you may look physically appealing but i can tell you're full of yourself and that princess syndrome is ugly AF.

[Asker]

No, I'm not full of myself but when I'm being verbally attacked, I clap back. When a woman expresses confidence in herself she's labled as arrogant. If I was feeling bad about myself, everyone would be telling me to "get some confidence". Either way I lose

[Billy_HashTag]

im sorry, but there is a line that needs to be drawn between confidence and arrogance. and it doesn't matter what gender you are, so lets not go down that route ok... men are just as capable of thinking too much of themselves.

also, I've not verbally attacked you, I've told you the truth. you are not the most attractive woman in the world and the sooner you realise that the better.

[Asker]

I have said all over this post that I don't think I am the most attractive woman in the world. Beauty is subjective so that title doesn't exist. I wasn't referring to you verbally attacking me but others have

[AndyOh]

First off, your guy needs to learn about being humble and what NOT to say to his lady. What's next on the criticism list?
Second he needs to get his eyes or brain checked because you are very pretty (wow).
Third, if he is like that, then go find a guy who will adore you as you are. I know I would.
Don't listen to the haters.

[AndyOh]

I say he is having issues. Best to cut the cord early on and move on. You should find a guy that has his shit together and will appreciate you. Good luck.

[ausername88]

There will always be someone more physically attractive, what keeps the relationship strong is the emotional connection and attraction not the physical one , that being said, you shouldn't ever say that to your one and only, they should feel like the most beautiful woman or guy in their bf/gf's eyes!

[GingerGuy]

Some guys actually think they need to say things like that so that you don't get an ego... or, he's just an ass! lol. You are beautiful and you need to feel desired, if he's not making you feel that, then yes maybe he's not right for you. In a way, it's kind of verbal abuse what he's doing.

[Mekara]

You're being overly dramatic. There will ALWAYS be someone prettier, smarter or even more athletic than you. It's just fact. Be happy you are with the guy now. He COULD be with those other prettier girls but who's he with now? You. Be grateful for that, because you are about to let your insecurities break up your relationship.

You won't ever be the prettiest girl in your BF's eyes (anyone who says other wise, is a freakin liar), but he loves and admire you for you; flaws and all.

[Asker]

Lol some valid points but I will never be thankful that he's with me. I have other options. If he finds them to be better, I'd rather he be with them. Why should I be happy that he's settling for me?

[Mekara]

There you go with that overly dramatic stuff again. Why are you in a relationship with him anyways if you're not gonna fight for it? There are always gonna be prettier people than you! Why are you so quick to give up? To just throw your relationship away. That stupid and weak. Grow a backbone and love him. Who said he was settling? Maybe you have something those other girls don't. Focus on your qualities and stop worrying about other girls...

[Asker]

Lol he's obviously the one "worrying about other girls". It's not stupid or weak to know when it's time to give up. It's not dramatic either - how would you like being put 2nd?

[Mekara]

He's obviously not worrying about it too much if YOU'RE the one questioning if you should break up or not. You apparently want someone to pat you up and tell you you are right, you don't want to hear the hard truth. How has he put you 2ND? Is he taking other girls home? Buying other girls gifts? Is he sleeping with other girls? The million dollar question is... Why are you letting other women ruin your relationship?

[Mekara]

Honestly, from these discussions, I have come to the conclusion that you are immature and overly dramatic as hell. Maybe it would be better if you two break up. You need to find some confidence in yourself and stop worrying about every little unnecessary factor. You obviously are insecure. Find and embrace your best qualities.

[Joshisangel]

Wow this is so sad you're the prettiest to me. You're a 10 out of 10 and I don't give that out easily. Sorry I'm just a straight girl but I think men are greedy. I'd dump him tbh. You're going to get old before you know it and you're going to hate he didn't appreciate you when you were young. This is y girls are hoes. My boyfriend thinks im the prettiest girl, I also think he's the cutest guy or I wouldn't date him. I'm 29 and been with him since 26. Men are going to hell and they all deserve fat ugly old nagging wives and pretty girls shouldn't give them the time of day. They are porn watching pigs who confuse fantasy with reality

[Anticipation]

you are lovely,,, he shouldn't be making any comparisons without considering your feelings.

Not sure if you should dump him, but if there is no emotional connection the relationship will have a hard time surviving.

If says other things that are verbally abusive or says mean things (yells or force feeds his will on you) then that will effect your self worth. You are beautiful and you know it.

You'll know if you should dump him.

[ThisDudeHere]

Even though it was an objective truth, it wasn't the nicest and most considerate thing to say. I would say that you should base your decision on whether his words had any malice in then or not. If it was said in passing, then I don't think you have to dump him. But if he keeps bringing that up then sure.

[Anonymous]

He's a huge moron to say that. But I also notice that women will put men on the spot with insecure questions and men are expected to just "white lie" over and over. For example "do I look fat?"? Is a classic one.

When it comes to vice versa I've had some women say extremely disrespectful things on dates (I'm not being "alpha", too nerdy looking, too skinny, etc). But since I'm a man my self esteem is supposed to be bullet proof so it's "okay"...

I would blow him off for a while. When he reaches out to you tell him the truth. See how he reacts.

[Opinion Owner]

by the way. How often do you see guys asking women "am I good looking"? I've asked this probably once or twice in my life until I realized it probably the most beta question a man can ask...

[Anonymous]

You sound shallow... here's the deal. You are never going to be "the prettiest girl in the world", if you want him to lie to you to feed your ego, you need help. Just because he is being honest with you so you don't get a big head, doesn't mean he wants to leave you or look for someone better.

The pic you posted is a web pic, so you are likely a troll, so stop trying to pretend you are the girl in the pic.
https://flipagram.com/SophiaRose_625

[mch90]

I think you should appreciate his honesty. I mean he's with you for a reason right? Even if you are not the prettiest girl you are the one he loves I'm assuming? Even if he was to say you're the most ebuatiful girl I've ever seen it's probably a BS answer anyways the most important thing is that you are his most favorite girl

[LittleSally]

He never said you're ugly... He was just being truthful and objective in saying that you're not the prettiest girl in the world - and he's right.

I don't see the problem here... Did he say he's not sexually or physically attracted to you?
Nope.
So you're fine.

If you want some ideal boyfriend who'll think you're the best of everything then find a player - he'll tell you those things until he sleeps with you and then he'll dump you...

[Asker]

Two problems here.
1. Never said I was the prettiest ever. Are you though? lol
2. I don't put out like that so I won't be used

If you're happy playing 2nd to other women in your mans life then that's on you. I'll wait for better

[LittleSally]

*That's not called 'playing second' it's called being realistic. Everyone has some shortcoming - and no women or man is perfect...
The fact you're so focused on what he thinks of your outside appearance is typical for a teenager... and I understand that, but you'll grow out of it.

The thing you should remember is: he never said you aren't pretty and he never said he isn't attracted to you. + remember than actions speak louder than words.

[LittleSally]

Just dump him and move on with your life then...

[Robin48]

99 percent of girls are not pretty at all. Flesh is flesh. What makes you pretty is what on the inside of you and that it shine through your body. Makeup is fake, scam. Those who use makeup are not real. People who gossip, slander are not pretty. It makes them ugly. Those who are self-center, self-worship are not pretty. They are ugly. What makes you pretty is when you act like a lady, good health habits, good manners, self-worth, self-esteem, values and morals, positive attitude, true love, caring, honesty, faithful what make you pretty.

[Machiavelli]

Very homosexual

[Robin48]

@Machiavelli
I do not support homosexuality. It a sin against God. Females in general call males homosexuality is to cover up what they are to protect their self.

[Machiavelli]

Lmao what a weirdo human being, how did you get internet?

[Robin48]

@Machiavelli
You are sick. I am praying for you. I know there is hope for you.

[BeautifulPromisesx]

Lmao yeah you should. If he don't think you're God's gift to the universe then boy bye.

[BeautifulPromisesx]

Wtf? He's sucha jerk seriously dump his ass

[fueledbythc]

Lol girls like you will be the desperate ones in their 30s.

[BeautifulPromisesx]

@fueledbythc I'm taken nice try tho

[BeautifulPromisesx]

@Asker don't let these people make you feel like what you're hoping for is too much. I am with someone who treats me like I'm gold and puts me on a pedestal like a queen. You deserve that too.

[fueledbythc]

It definitely is way too much. Not everyone can get a partner like that. Id much rather be alone though.

[Asker]

I've had partners like that before. I would rather be alone than lower my standards

[BeautifulPromisesx]

@fueledbythc just cus not everyone can get a partner like that, doesn't mean they should stick around and get their feelings hurt. If her guy thinks there's others better and points them out to her, then he's not very considerate or deeply in love with her. That's just common sense.

[fueledbythc]

Im a firm believer that feelings need to get hurt in order to grow stronger. When things are perfect, there's something wrong.

Balance is key to life and thats why im still friends with my childhood friends. We have our ups and downs but thats what life is all about. Appreciate imperfections instead of trying to fix them. Maybe its just how weird of a life I've lived that made me grow up faster than others.

[rogers121]

"Mirror Mirror on the wall - who is the fairest one of all" ? asked the queen . "you are, as always!" said the boyfriend... oops i meant the mirror. few months/years (depends on the mirror's patience. Mirrors from china last longer, so i heard.) later, the mirror had enough! "snow white is prettier!, and snow black too! just stop harassing me anymore". the queen shattered the mirror. THE END

[Sam19XX]

Claps...

[America1st]

Since you find your looks to be the most important thing is your relationship, you should do the guy a favor and dump him. You want him to tell you a lie so you can feel good. You'd be beast with a guy that thinks he is Gods gift to women like you think you are to men. Get over your ego. It's very unbecoming. Join the real world.

[Bunny0]

love him cz he loves u for not what god gave u instead for what u have made ur self... he loves the true u... n thats what true love is.. n moreover he said u the truth even if u didn't liked it... wow u r lucky to have such a guy.. i bet he will never lie to u ... be happy sis u r a lucky girl.. n ofc u r pretty but not the prettiest n u urself know that (srry).. but i m sure u have made ur soul the prettiest one... dont fuckingly comment on the appearance that god gave u cz u did almost nothing to gain these looks but yes u can say that ur personality is ur own n u created that

[SuitAndTie]

You probably are very pretty and he knows that. I'm sure if you were single you'd have to beat guys away with a stick. Heck, they're probably waiting in line right now waiting for you to turn single. But, I think most people know that there are better looking people out there than them. And I think they acknowledge that their s/o will find others attractive. That says nothing about you though. He likes you for your personality as well as your looks. He's with you for a reason, because you tick both boxes. I don't think it's something you should stress about tbh.

[sovetskii13]

You are too sensitive. I'm sure you have seen men who look better than him too. Always saying that your partner is the most beautiful person ever would be lying 99.9% of the time. Would you want a liar? Probably not. And beauty is not everything. Would you want a huaband who has all the looks you want, but is a complete ass? or an average-looking guy who can make you laugh, has the brains to do things, and makes you feel special when with him?

[Miyuki28]

I don't want to be mean, but do you want people to be nice to you or honest?

What I want to tell you is that the more insecure you seem on this matter, the less he will like you. You could just tell him that he's mean, and you don't like that. But I would appreciate his hones th, even if it hurts.

[Asker]

Honestly, I no longer care how I "seem" to him. I'm done...

[Miyuki28]

Ok, then he wasn't your type. This was a sign that you shouldn't waste time on him, because things wouldn't work out. But there are so many types of men. You have a lot of choices in the future.

[wildchildx]

You're gorgeous. Nobody is objectively the prettiest girl anybody's seen. At a certain point, it comes down to opinion.

[Makeuphoarder]

I've met woman like you that have nothing else to offer besides your "looks" you're going to grow old one day and then what? Yes I know you're thinking plastic surgery or I'm sure you've already gotten something done if not already. Just love yourself enough so that you won't feel down on yourself when your man doesn't think you're the prettiest. Good luck in life, you'll need it.

[Asker]

Completely untrue. I have many things to offer. Positive personality traits aside. I have a full & part time job. I'm a student. I cook & clean. I volunteer to various causes. I can have an intelligent conversation. I'm not just my looks. Thanks :)

[Makeuphoarder]

I wasn't referring to having a job. Anyone can get a job can cook and have somewhat of a personality. What you're lacking is self esteem and self worth that's why you need others to validate. That's why you mentioned the whole modeling thing. Post a pic of yourself with no makeup and without anything in your hair.

[Asker]

No I have plenty of self esteem, that's why I'm leaving him because my self worth won't allow me to stay being considered 2nd rate

[Makeuphoarder]

It was not necessary for you to post a pic of yourself with this question. It's obvious you need attention. He's probably just tired of your bull and you wanting to hear how beautiful you are every second of the day. Try challenging his mind imstead of his eyes.

[Asker]

You assume a lot

[Makeuphoarder]

Look, every woman understands the need to feel wanted and desired and if he doesn't think you're the prettiest it doesn't mean that he doesn't want or desire you sexually. You should really just think about what you really want. If he's honest and loves you and is faithful don't understand why anything else matters.

[Makeuphoarder]

If you asked him and he told you how he really felt then ok. If he just decided to share that with you for no reason then he's a jerk.

[Asker]

Even if I asked him, which I did, he shouldn't feel that way. Yes, he gets credit for his honesty but still... What girl wants to be told about other prettier girls? Not even girls on tv or anything but actual girls he's encountered. If that's how he feels he really should just go do "better"...

[fauchelevent]

Dumb. Who cares whether you're the prettiest girl he's ever seen? All that matters is he finds you attractive and enjoys spending time with you and wants a relationship with you. All of the insecurity and 'waaaaah, but I wanna be the one he finds hottest :( :( :( ' is bullshit and pathetic.

[Asker]

Whatever, who would be willing to play 2nd to other bitches? Not me!!

[fauchelevent]

Eloquent.

[Asker]

Wasn't trying to be. You're saying that I should be content with being "just good enough" - that's not good enough for me. If you're ok with that, good for you then

[madhatters4]

do you think you are honestly the prettiest girl in the world?

his response was crass and shouldn't have been said but if you think that your boyfriend should think you are the prettiest girl in the world then you are kind of being naive

if you want to break up with him for showing bad form. for being crass. ok. but you shouldn't break up with him because he doesn't think you are the prettiest girl in the world

[Asker]

I've said I don't think I'm the prettiest necessarily. There is always someone better but I'm not going to put another female above me either. All I said is TO HIM I should be the prettiest

[madhatters4]

if you don't think you are the prettiest how should he think you are the prettiest? in all honesty?

if he said you are the prettiest girl in the world it would be a lie right? would you prefer he lie?

i'm not trying to be rude just trying to be realistic. we can ask people to lie to us and we can't possibly expect them to think that in a world of 6 billion we are the superlative of almost anything. if i asked my wife if i'm the smartest person in the world and she said yes i'd know it a was an unabashed lie

simply saying you aren't the prettiest girl in the world doesn't mean he is putting other girls before you. it just means he is being honest.

[Asker]

Maybe, it also means he should go be with them then. If there's better, do better

[madhatters4]

i don't think there is a lot of logic there. that would suggest that you and any girl's worth is only in their looks.

[Asker]

No, but you can't base a whole relationship on personality. You might as well just be friends. There has to be physical /sexual attraction. I don't want to be with a man physically if he's not attracted to me & thinks that there's better

[madhatters4]

no you can't base a whole relationship on personality and he clearly isn't since he said he think you are pretty. clearly he is sexually attracted to you if he has sex with you. clearly he think you pretty.

[Asker]

Men do also have sex based on availability & convenience

[Asker]

And "pretty" is barely a compliment

[madhatters4]

and you think that you are just available and convenient for a year?

you are allowing your insecurities to get the best of you. it is causing you to think really irrationally and draw illogical conclusions. if you want to destroy this relationship keep down this path. if you like this guy, who clearly likes you, then you need to step back and try to gain perspective. heed the advice that a lot of people are saying rather than just looking for an opinion to validate how you feel.

he shouldn't have said that someone is prettier than you most likely but for you to think that he thinks you are the prettiest girl in the world is really naive.

[madhatters4]

pretty is a compliment for most people. look in the "how do i look" section to see all the girls who love to be called pretty. know that any guy who says you are the prettiest girl in the world is lying 99.9% of the time

[madhatters4]

"I want a relationship filled with sexual attraction &to feel desired"
nothing about him not thinking you are the prettiest girl in the world means you are not desired or he isn't sexually attracted to you. it simply means that you are not the prettiest girl in the world

[Asker]

Yeah so if those other girls, presumably in our own city, are more attractive - that's where he needs to be!!

[madhatters4]

operative presumably. you are presuming you don't know what girls he is talking about, where they are or if he is even talking about any specifically. you assume far too much

[Asker]

Did you read my update? I do know what girls he's talking about. I asked

[madhatters4]

nevermind. live your life. you'll be far happier if you can get past this but something tells me you won't

[Asker]

Why would I want to get past this? This is a relationship ending kind of thing. Thanks anyway...

[madhatters4]

Why would I want to get past this?
because you are upset about something very trivial and irrational

[Asker]

How is being considered 2nd rate or a consolation prize or "just good enough" trivial?

[WarlandWriter]

depends on how objective and honest he usually is. I mean, I don't know what you look like, but it's very unlikely that you actually are the prettiest girl he has ever seen, simply considering the fact that there are a lot of pretty girls to be seen in the world. If it's normal for him to be 'too' honest, I'd just take it as a compliment for your personality. You could also just ask him what he means by it.

[Asker]

He's very honest always. I don't want my personality complimented, I think physical attraction is also very important. But that's just me...

[WarlandWriter]

I understand that. It could just be part of who he is. I have a friend who is quite often a little too honest. For the rest she's really sweet and funny so I'm able to see past that. You need to determine that for yourself.

[Prof_Don]

Yes u should end things with him.

This guy is already emotionally abusing you. Things will only get worse with you stay with him.

[thatguywithakeyboard]

This is called emotional abuse? Jesus Christ what's next, claiming your woman's cooking is the best when it's a pile of dog shit...

[Prof_Don]

@thatguywithakeyboard unless this guy is a complete tactless idiot, I can imagine an emotionally abusive guy saying something like this to plant the seeds to destroy her self-esteem and control her.

[thatguywithakeyboard]

So you build a speculation based on her bashing him for being honest? You know honesty goes a long way. To be frank I rather have the honest response then to be pampered with all PC terminology and social etiquette norms.

Relationship should be much more then based on looks. My ex was pretty hot Asian, I didn't date her for the looks or her 36DD's I actually date her as a whole. Not just because she got a vagina and boobs. And I was brutally honest with her, yeah she did not like some things I said but in the end she knew I was honest and she knew I cared for her, because I did buy her flowers randomly and took her out on nice dinners. All in all my ex costed me $2k a month to maintain.

[Prof_Don]

@thatguywithakeyboard Just because something is true, doesn't mean it has to be said. Common sense goes a long way.

This boyfriend of the OP either lacks tact and common sense, or is emotionally abusive.

[thatguywithakeyboard]

Ok. Let's break this down. "pretty but not the prettiest girl I've ever seen". So he clearly indicated there are much more attractive woman out there, which isn't a myth but a FACT. Yet even truth he could have dated this other hotter girls he decided to date OP. So he seen something in her outside of her looks. We all get old and look like shit, so look should not really play role in dating (sadly they play a major role, that's why I wear a helmet :D ).

I can understand his point from the way he fraise it. OP on the other hand took this as a insult because she clearly is a freaking Unicorn and the "prettiest of them all".

OP reminds me of my ex. My ex made similar remark "I know what I'm worth and I will never settle for less." this stuck with me and we broke up 2 years ago, yet this words still stick with me. Even in my relationship my ex understood she could have better. But you know I did not get butt hurt as OP did.

And I been in abusive relationships, this is far off.

[Asker]

Just because there's prettier girls out there doesn't mean realistically he could date them. They get a choice too lol. He did say I'm the prettiest he's BEEN WITH (I know this to be true, I've seen his exes) but not the prettiest he's SEEN

[thatguywithakeyboard]

Okay. We guys look at other woman, yet still are married or have girlfriends. Woman do the same. I still don't see what's this entire Drama is over. If you know he is with you why are you so self centered about his remark. You do understand his remark is valid and correct.

[Asker]

Again, I never said that I am the absolute prettiest but I respect myself & I'm not going to put myself down. If he thinks there's better, he shouldn't be wasting time on me

[Anonymous]

I would bereak up cuz da woman you love should be the most beautiful girl you've ever seen cuz she should have the best personality ever and if she has the best personality ever it makes her like seem more beautiful on the outside too and you deserve waaaaaaaaay better if he thinks that

[BlackMaleYou]

what you said is so immature and unrealistic. Its very typical of women to look for better. from her logic she would leave him if she found someone who is better looking. I had a girlfriend she was the best to me, she was a 10 to me but I knew there were better 10s, but she made all the PRETTIER GIRLS look boring to me.

[godfatherfan]

Well he is being honest instead of smart. So if you want a guy that will always be up front with you, then why leave him.
You made a comment in one post "What do you mean he's honest? He should think I'm the prettiest. Why should I settle for not being #1?"
that just shows what a vain person you are. While I am not ugly I know that I am not the best looking guy in the world. What your saying is that your the prettiest woman in the entire world... sorry, your just not.
I think my girlfriend is very beautiful, but she is not even close the the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. However, I would never tell her that unless she straight up asked me that question because I am not stupid.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder so someone is always going to think someone else is more beautiful.
I think the guy would be better off leaving you, not you leaving him.

[Asker]

I never said I was the most beautiful. I said in HIS EYES I should be. Maybe your girlfriend is happy being 2nd rate, I am not

[godfatherfan]

Your contradicting yourself now. Why don't you just say "he should just lie to me". yes, if he was smart he would make you feel better by just lying to you and telling you what you want to hear. Obviously you have either low self esteem or are just a snob and feel better then everyone else.
The fact is that the women I have dated, and esp my ex wife, were very beautiful to me. But I could not honestly say they were the most beautiful women I have ever seen, nor would they ever believe it if I told them. That is just kinda pathetic to want someone to even say that to you. People keep telling you your not on the right side of this argument and you just wanted everyone to side with you. If he really wanted to just make you happy he would have lied to you. As a young guy, he will eventually learn. But what your asking is not realistic for any man.

[babylips14]

I have to say that this whole "be happy he's being honest" thing is getting out of hand.

If he believes that he can do better, he could have just kept it to himself unless he's purposely trying to kill her self-esteem. Why do you think that people openly give compliments way more frequently than critiques. You would probably approach some hot girl at a bar to tell her how attractive she is, but you wouldn't start telling her how there are other girls hotter than she is unless you're trying to get some sort of reaction, would you?

I believed that the last guy I dated was the hottest guy in the world at the time. So yes, it's possible for someone to think that their so is the prettiest chick they've ever seen.

[godfatherfan]

@babylips14 Why is him thinking she is beautiful not enough? WTF is wrong with you women? Can't she be everything he is looking for even if she is not the most beautiful women "in the world"? I don't think you women realize how ignorant this whole post is. your out of your minds.

[Asker]

That is the definition of settling. I don't want to be settled for. Just the fact that he said this to me, shows that he doesn't feel the way he should about me. It's not even about objectively stating the truth, it's about his heart clearly isn't in the right place

[happyhippo]

I don't think telling you you're not the prettiest girl he's seen is a reason for a break up, except if you need somebody else to boost your ego. That you're together or he's in love with you or whatever, doesn't mean he can't find another girl more beautiful than you. Love isn't that blind. Also there are other things that make a person more beautiful in the eyes of another and he's talking about physical appearance only.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

You know any guy who treats his girlfriend that way is no man in my book.
I would start talking to other guys , he shouldn't be saying hurtful things like that to you.

[Asker]

Thank you. Finally a REAL man

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thank you :)

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but you seem pretty conceited. You should be happy he's being honest with you and that he values you for more than your looks. Are you really going to let him not thinking you're the prettiest girl EVER destroy your whole relationship? If that's all it's founded on I don't really feel like that's love. Things like this bother me because it perpetuates that stereotype about the manipulative, histrionic girlfriend who can't hear the truth without flipping out. So the guy is always lying to the girl and secretly thinking she (and all women) are crazy, image-obsessed idiots. I just hate double standards. Would everyone think it was so bad if it was the other way around? So, for the sake of fairness and true equality, quit whining and grow a pair.