Unclear relationship?

[Anonymous]

So I've been sort of seeing this guy, but really I don't know if we're seeing each other. we hang out every so often and whenever at his house we end up physical, etc. but otherwise it feels like a friendship or something, because we just hang out do normal things like movies, etc. but then when it comes to physical contact, it only happens in the bedroom. its not that its' only sex, because we cuddle and whatnot. but still it's not that we do any pda at all, so it seems like we're just friends.

and he's being a little passive-aggressive about wanting to hang out. he says he wants to then he won't reply for a while and I'll have to pursue and then finally he starts pursuing again.

i'm so sick of this game or whatever it is. we clearly stated before that we were interested in a relationship, but he said he wasnt sure about a label yet.

is he using me or what. I have no idea anymore and its pissing me off.

[Jesslvj]

I Think you should tell him how you feel.and tell him you like him and can not understand why you have been physical and he is yet to give you the label "Girlfriend".I think they could be good and bad in this situation.

The good is that since you are friends he wants to take the reltionship slowly and seriously so he doesn't ruin your friendship so whatever happens in the reltionship you will still be friends.

The bad is that he is just using you for the physical side of the relitionship and is not interested in a mature reltionship with you.

You should see if he changes his mind and gives you the label "girlfriend" soon.but if not you will have to tell him how you feel.

Good luck!. :)

[Asker]

Thank you, I know I will wait and see if he changes at all...and if not, I'll have to have a talk with him.

[sharpie1106]

wow sounds somewhat what I'm going through. only we'll hold hands in public sometimes and his friends 'know' about us. the thing is that we previous called ourselves a 'couple' and then we decided to be 'friends' --yet we still do everything that a couple would do, without a 'label'

i've come to accept what we have as just what it is. I'm not too worried about having a label, I'm happy with what's been happening, and that's what you need to do. if your not happy with the way things have been, and you want a relationship with a label and such, then you need to talk to him and figure out what you want. good luck

[Asker]

I don't NEED a label...but its just "what is it?" you know? am I in a relationship or not? because sometimes there's obviously the line drawn, such as the whole pda thing and whatnot.

[iknowiknow]

Some people just don't do PDA, including holding hands. Hold his hand in public to test out this theory. Sit down and have the talk. His expectations and thoughts of the relationship/friendship may be different form yours. What more do you want from him? Sounds like you two are more than friends.

[Asker]

Pda was just a sign that I could derive what kind of relationship this was. it's not only a matter of that, it also seems like we only kiss and whatnot in the bedroom or in that state of mind, it's odd...it almost does seem like a fwb...so that's why I was concerned. but we were clear that this wasnt just a sex thing.

[pwl0lwp]

do you not even hold hands when you go out? that seems a little odd.

if he wants to have sex with you in private but won't do a simple hand-hold in public, that's a bit off & gives the impression he's keeping his options open in case another girls comes along.

[Asker]

That's what I thought, but we've had the discussion and said we were monogamous, in whatever this thing we're in...

[Anonymous]

He may be feeling confused. Maybe you should just ask him how he feels about the two of you. Honestly hear what he has to say & you should get your answer. Good luck!

[secretsmiles]

sounds like fwb.