Do you assume taking a "break" equals the beginning of break up?

Question

I think in most cases, it can mean that the person is reconsidering the relationship, or maybe seeing someone else.
However, there are many exceptions to this scenario as well because I remember I did it once and my boyfriend got upset. I took a one week break because I wanted some space for myself and a lot of things going on at that moment. Now that I think about it, I feel guilty because I can imagine if he ever did the same, I'd get all depressed and assume he wants to break up.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

I don't believe in "breaks".

I DO believe in taking some time to yourself to be alone and get your life back in order or whatever, but that doesn't mean you are any less committed to your relationship - and it certainly doesn't mean you go out with other people.

A "break" just means that your relationship is unhealthy, and instead of addressing the problems in your relationship - or facing the reality that the two of you aren't compatible - you "take a break" and involve other people. That almost always makes things even MORE complicated and confusing, and all of the problems from before the "break" are still there too.

When I am getting ready to make a relationship "official", I sit down with the girl and I tell her this:

"You can leave this relationship at any time - the Exit door is always unlocked and you can walk out the door whenever you want to. I may ask you to stay, but I'll never try to force you to.

"But know this: it's a one-way door, and once you walk out of it, there's no way back in - EVER. So think long and hard before you walk out, because there won't be a second chance with me. I don't play games and I don't respond well to threats. Either we work out our problems together, or we end the relationship forever."

GoodManDave · Accepted Answer

To me, I think it depends on how everyone defines it. Sometimes it's good to step back and give it some thought - now it could be because both (or one of you) are just really busy, and need to reprioritize. But in either case, you have to be clear about it.

For me, when I called a break, it was the beginning of the end. She was constantly picking fights, and it wasn't healthy. But, this didn't mean that I saw it as a free reign card to get wild and crazy or see other people. I think people shouldn't be jumping into relationships or seeing other people while "on breaks." I think there should even be some time between a full on break up and dating someone else.

If you're super busy, or there's a death in the family or something like that, I think taking a step back is fine... maybe not calling it a break... but putting the relationship on the back burner for the time being is not always a bad sign.

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

usually it just means, the other person wants to prioritize other things and that is something really painful to hear. Unless breaks are circumstantial (like finals week, working hard to get that promotion, family drama) then breaks just mean the other person doesn't want to put in the effort to keep whatever it is you have alive. i took a break from my boyfriend, and he didn't really give me much space, and we ended up breaking up for a short time. i was relatively dissatisfied with the way things were headed and i was failing 2 classes. so i picked classes. after the break up my boyfriend really wanted to make it work, so he changed many of ways and started becoming the support i needed rather than the source of stress i didn't.

lumos · Accepted Answer

I don't automatically assume it, but taking a break is rarely the result of being in a great relationship.
I think what's most important is thoroughly discussing the point of the break and how long it'll last with your partner before it happens. Define what it means, how long it'll last, what will happen during the break, what you can/can't do and so on. This will minimize the paranoia, heartbreak and anger people associate with breaks.

Raz_at · Accepted Answer

Me and my boyfriend took a break one time. Can’t lie that it made us stronger and it made us love each other more! It made us miss each other and think of all the good times we had before and all the time we said we’ll never break up. So we set a date of when we gonna get back together and since then we’re better than before ❤️ it worked for us because both of us needed some space. May not work for everyone though.

Stylish27 · Accepted Answer

The word "break" is half of the word break up. so before any break downs happen a couple could possibly take a break to save their relationship. But in my case if the person who loves u needs a break from loving u there's definitely a problem. Dont ignore the " break " in the relationship instead fix it.

azzntittiz · Accepted Answer

For most people, I usually don't see the point in taking a break, I've only ever heard that statement in movies. But if the two just needs to sort stuff put and truly love each other, then a break might be what they need.

Dawsonwc · Answer

In my book taking a break is the break up of cowards. It’s someones excuse to break up while still having some kind of mild influence over the other persons behavior. Allowing each person to do as they please but also allowing each person to be slightly judgmental and or controlling. If we go on a break and I get laid and you don’t when we get back together I guarantee there will be some kind of argument about how they remained faithful and how that’s not what taking a break meant even though it was never thoroughly explained. And that’s the hallmark of break and it’s main differing point from a break up. The conditions of a break are both poorly defined and not universally understood unlike actual break ups. It’s a breeding ground for insecurities and skepticism. They don’t necessarily equal a coming break up but they definitely do not help.

Theashkingnew · Answer

The most important thing is the time and gravity of the situation in which you say it and how the discussion. i have seen it and iny own experience it can have a double edged sword effect.. But tbh if you really are in love ( i mean both ) then there is nothing to worry about... if you can't give some space before marriage how will you do it after.. Everyone needs some solo time. I will keep this in a more positive sense than being negative.. yeah it does sometyms go the other way but most times it just some harmless solo time and space that the partner needs.. It doesn't mean he or she is fed up with you.. it just means he needs to refresh his mind as we sometimes can get bogged diwn with work... financial problems... study... etc

Browneye57 · Answer

Absolutely. If you can't keep it together - together, how are you going to keep it together apart? :)
No, if the relationship can't survive the inevitable strife then it's a good indicator it's just not a match. People in love don't 'take a break'. They're always there for the other one.
I haven't spent more than a few days away from my bride of almost thirty years. Just some separate travel and such. You have to be able to work out differences like adults - and to always place the relationship above any petty differences. Some things you will never agree on, and simply agree to disagree.

Miristheiss · Answer

Yes, for me those are breakups. If you have a lot going on you just say I've got this, this and this going on so I won't be able to see much of you this week but next week or in a couple of weeks I'll make it up to you... you don't say we need to "take a break" from the relationship.

Anyway, if anyone needs to figure out if they want to be with me or not than it must not be that great of a relationship. I'd just start dating other people and move on.

I don't do breaks. We are together or broken up, no in between. If someone wants a "break" then I just treat it as a breakup and immediately start dating others.

ZeussLightningBolt · Answer

Well, obviously not in your case. So not necessarily. Could be they just need time to think some things over. But you don't want to take a break for too long, otherwise it might look like a break up attempt.

But I always thought that meant you broke up and you're not planning on getting into a new relationship any time soon

tanmay216 · Answer

First of all why do people take a break in a relationship i seriously dont understand. If the guy or the girl is dominating you why are you even with them, i seriously dont understand the concept of taking a break. And yes it is the beginning of break up. As per me in a relationship there should be love, care, a little bit of jealousy but there should be trust and some space. Those whoever is reading this and have a girlfriend or a boyfriend please give each other some space dont dominate or become control freaks. When the girl or the boy says 'i was thinking of us taking a break' it hurts real bad.

nitsuj48 · Answer

Not always. I just dumped a girl this was a few days ago. I had many issues by that time and was done. But because of timing and life events I gave her a chance and let her know what and maybe how to address. It got even worse and then worst date of my life. I went home instead and broke up.

MScifiwriter · Answer

If I ever have a girlfriend who says, "we need to take a break" from the relationship. I'd be sad, but I'd say, alright, then we're done. I'm not going to bullshit around or play mind games, you're either completely committed to the relationship or you're not.

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on the circumstances and reasons, because if there is an external reason, like moving or studying, or family obligations etc, it shouldn’t be a big deal to realize a break may be good. However if the sole reason is the inherent dysfunction of the relationship and the goal of taking a break is to improve both peoples lives, that is heavy and makes me think, it’s just a path to breaking up, like a soft way out, slowing ripping the band aid off because the idea of ripping it off is too much

Anonymous · Answer

The reason why someone would ask to take a break from the relationship is because they have doubts about it which is never a good sign. It’s not a sign that they love you so much and want to stay with you. It’s time to be away from you. Breaks don’t always lead to break-ups, BUT most of the time taking a break is one person attempting to end a relationship but trying to soften the blow

Anonymous · Answer

I wanted a break from my then "boyfriend" (he is now my husband) because I felt like we were moving so fast. He was my first everything and it was 0 to 100 in like a few days and I was really wondering what was I doing? What were we doing? Did we know the rules to dating? did we know what love was? Why were we together? It was really fast, and then he refused to go on a break because he said that once it is broken, it's broken. So anyways we got married instead.

legalizerace · Answer

It depends! I think it does, but a break can also be helpful! A break can allow the parties to think through how they feel and I feel like a big factor is knowing what you have until it's gone. With a decent break, you may realize that you can't stand living without your S. O. But in most cases, a break is just a psuedo break up and the parties are just trying to sugar coat the hard truth that they're done with each other. So yeah, a break is more often than not the beginning of a break up.

blkhermano · Answer

Yes, taking a break is the beginning of the phrase "break" up. If an individual wants space, then they have to say that. Otherwise, a break is going to be understood that this person no longer wants to be an emotionally/physically committed relationship.

Yakasmashi · Answer

My boyfriend and I took a break but I will be going back home ( home is where I live with him ) and we Wil be together again...
If one of y'all or if both of y'all don't feel the same then it not meant to be and if can lead to breakup
But if y'all feel the exact same thing and can't get enough of each other and kiss each other so much and communicate etc then it can mean that y'all are meant to be

gunducci · Answer

I think the way you discuss is it important. If it happens in a fit of anger or after a heated argument, it is natural that your partner would think in terms of a break-up.
However, if it is discussed earnestly and sincerely, I don't see why it can't be amicable or even fruitful.
In short, totally depends on both the people involved.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

It's quite possible.. or it could just mean they just need a break... Maybe not to see other people or anything, but just too spend time figuring out who they are... And what they need work on in there personal life... It's not always about the other partner..

SidKnee · Answer

Nope not at all, it just means space I had 3 of those within a 3 year relationship time span and I believe it to be very healthy! The end of the relationship was a commitment fear/ issue at the time on my part however nothing to do with taking a break

PresidentEvil999 · Answer

Most breaks are so one person doesn't feel guilty about trying to end a relationship, so they can try easing the pain of a breakup. Or so a person can test out someone they've had their eye on without feeling guilty.

The only way a break can work is if there is a timeline and rules as far as behavior and what you both expect from each other during.

GingerGuy · Answer

I just assume that's code for "it's over" and they just don't have the guts to say it. I don't believe in "breaks" at all. And I've never heard of any couple ever taking a "break" and getting back together and everything turning out just fine.

redhoodttt · Answer

Well, it depends. It really depends from the relationship you have and the kind of person you are.
I had once a a break in the relationship, it was her who decided to have one. I won't lie to you, I hated it, because during the break she didn't talk with me at all, so I decide to break up. She didn't want to break up, but I felt like the break wasn't helping at all.
My advice is, it really depends, but many guys react the same, I can tell...

SarahsSummer · Answer

You need to assume it is a break up and use the time to think about what you each want in a relationship, what the problems with this one were and what it would really take to make thinks work between you both.

Toad-1 · Answer

not always, but i hope you maybe established some rules for what can happen during this 'break' like are either of you allowed to flirt with other people? maybe even date?

thecd1979 · Answer

I’ve heard this before and about %99 of the time it’s just away of letting the other person down more gently as it’s a much more nicer way to put things as opposed to saying they want to break up.

supsupsuper · Answer

When dating you are open to dating others and should do so for a while. To me once in a committed relationship that's what you want and there in no stepping back. Make it or break it. That does not mean you can start dating them again, for example if distance came in between the relationship.

Juxtapose · Answer

I don't do "breaks." You're either committed to me or not, no in-between,

Cronoforge · Answer

When someone says that I immediate think it's a way of saying, "I'm not interested in you anymore but I don't have enough backbone to tell you that"

Mi2mi2a · Answer

If we have fights, we solve them out, a break doesn't help anything. If someone wants a break it's just a break up in the making.

mike5150 · Answer

Yes it is the end unless both people can work on what went wrong to begin with. Also that is taking into consideration that the time apart your feels don't sway and that you feel like it will actually work the second go around.

Fais87 · Answer

I don't get the "taking a break" thing. You either break up, stay together or decide it's a casual relationship. "Taking a break" to me means being wishy-washy. Taking a break means relaxing from something that caused being tired or something. If a relationship causes such feelings, is it a healthy one? This is just a theory and it doesn't mean that it applies to every relationship.

L1FE0FTY · Answer

I think that taking a break could be the start of a break up but isn't a guaranteed thing. It means your smothering them or, doing something they don't like but would prefer not to tell you.
Let them have a break, cause you might need one yourself without even knowing. Or keep it friendly.

vikasbijarnia · Answer

I don't think that taking a "break" equals the beginning of break up... I think that sometimes we need to consider some things which are not good for any relationship and you know to consider anything we need time, we need concentration on that particular topic.

InTimoreDei · Answer

It's an excuse to see someone else without being considered a "cheater".

nadinatali · Answer

Taking break is worst scenario. You don't know where you standing. I prefer boyfriend rather broke up with me with posibility of getting back together.

acooke-13 · Answer

Not necessarily, I know couples who've had a break then come back together and are perfect together! I think it depends what your both after

Cosytoasty · Answer

For me it is, for others maybe not. But a “break” means I’m a free agent and I’m going out to find girls, don’t like cheaters so I’d call it officially done before I do.

Ezra5808 · Answer

If a girl wants to take a break from me I take it as they just want to be single or pursue someone else. Sadly these were women I was very passionate about but if they didn't want a relationship at the time I just let them go completely.

Philyouup · Answer

Yes, in most cases i believe.. Not to say its going to be the beginning of a break up, as sometimes you have to step back and take a hard look.. BUt if the relationship is rocky or boring, then yea, it could be the first step.

Northern_star · Answer

Breaks are simply humiliating, works as a red flag,

even if the relationship can go on after that it cannot be the same again, for u realize the other person needed it for a reason, and love cannot be like that.

Buhuauh · Answer

A break means things are complicated but does not always mean a breakup but it does give the possibility to feel single again this may mean the relationship was not comfortable. And tgat is kinda a red flag.

admles · Answer

There's no such thing as "taking a break" in my books. You either break up or you don't.

Moonchild714 · Answer

Beginning of a break-up that's why Ross got in trouble with Rachel. They were on a break.

RedObsession · Answer

I dont think relationships with breaks are meant to last either way. no matter the reason thats a sign of giving up commitment. So I would treat it like a break up even if thats not there intention.

genericname85 · Answer

i don't believe in "taking breaks" but if you do take a break, you should freaking establish the rules of it instead of feeling bad, cause he did things you're not ok with.

chriscdi · Answer

Not exactly, sometimes taking a break makes it better cause you start to miss it and when you get it back is more sparking then ever, breaks usually are used for friends and family

Shanaya1423 · Answer

Taking a break usually just means taking some space. It could also mean that he is drifting away. But see how your equations are with him and you can figure out yourself

luvstoned4him · Answer

If you are taking a break for a yh then you might as well break up.

Aeleen · Answer

Not necessarily. Sometimes people need some space from eachother which is good for the relationship. But it can be the other way around

UnstableCraft · Answer

Yes it most definitely is. I've never seen a "break" help a relationship

levantine99 · Answer

the relationship was already broken before this is proposed

Anonymous · Answer

Sometimes people have stressful things going on in their personal life’s and need to step away from a committed relationship.

loveshorro · Answer

In my experience and with listening to friends. Yes it is

ladyduke · Answer

Hey! Go somewhere and take a break , see if you guys possibly 'break up'

john1714 · Answer

I've always thought of it as a straight up break up but in a gentle way.

AynonOMouse · Answer

If someone said that to me, I would just end it there and never go back. The trust and security of the relationship would be forever damaged.

Liplock · Answer

If my man needs a break he can have one. But if he sleeps with anyone else while on the break he can keep his break

ArnaldoAlvaradoJr · Answer

I assume that it can possibly lead to a break up but, it can be that the partner is just wants space or simply wants to plan what to talk about in the relationship.

Randomlips · Answer

I had it for a weekend with my boyfriend and it was big drama.. in the end everything got alright and we are still together now happily and trustful 😇

JayYay122 · Answer

No. But if you are on break to me it is similar to break up, where you are free to see other people.(but some females still think it is cheating when you see other people whilst on a break.)

swagar · Answer

It does not began the break up journey
But it sums up the negative vibes which the other partner would get and even sense of dissatisfaction which tickles in the mind that y she wants a break, m I wrong smwer and many such thngs

TuMeManques · Answer

In my mind it's the same thing. Either we're together or we're not.

Do you assume taking a "break" equals the beginning of break up?

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