Ex boyfriend still has me wrapped around his finger?

[Anonymous]

This situation is pretty confusing.

So, my ex and I broke up months ago but we still sleep together.

One day, we were talking about sex and then he said, “[my name], if I’m fucking you then you’ll be the only girl I’ll have sex with.”

I never agreed to this lmao. I felt like when he said that, it put pressure on me that he should be the only guy I should have sex with also, and I really want to deal with other men. I have a strong feeling that if my ex finds out that I’m dealing with other men, he’ll build some sort of attachment again and get hurt in the long run because he only wants to have sex with me.

I just don’t think it makes sense to just deal with one person if there was never an agreement to a title (ex, friends with benefits or fuckbuddy) I’m starting to think that maybe it’s just the way he carries himself but like he’s single, he can do whatever he wants with other people, I could careless.

Am I wrong or just overthinking?

[BillyB4]

Someone once gave me good advice about relationships: they’re only complicated if you make them complicated and overthink them. I think a lot of what you said above is unnecessary, and it comes to this: Do you really want him in your life? If yes, why don’t you try to get back together with him? If no, just leave him, because this sounds complicated and messy.

[windknowsmyname]

So naive, well thats a womans greatest sin. But life, got live it even if you think its fun being in pretend bondage.
In reality your bonding yourself. You two broke up so what you do with yourself is up to you not him. Stop feeling guilty.

[Asker]

I’m not feeling guilty, I’m talking to other men. We’re both using each other for sex and we’re aware of it, that’s not the principle of the issue. I don’t care about what he does, the issue is just the way he set some type of title without necessarily an agreement made me uncomfortable. I’m asking if the way he thinks is even logical? Like I’ve never heard someone only dealing with one person while the other is dealing with multiple people. Like wouldn’t that hurt the person?

[windknowsmyname]

Nope! He being impractical. And even it hurts him. Thats not your fault. Not trying be heartless. Boundaries. He should know them.

[Asker]

Alright lol! Thank you so much for ur answer 😌 helped me a lot

[sarangdunghwi]

oh dear! I think u need to stay away from him >< he's only using u for his own pleasure. And if u wanna talk to other guys, go ahead. It's ur life. Not his.

[Asker]

We’re both using each other for sex and we’re aware of it, that’s not the principle of the issue. I’m using him for my own pleasure until I find someone else. I just don’t understand how he thinks lol

[OlderAndWiser]

You are wrong to be fucking your ex.

[Asker]

Just like my ex is wrong to be fucking me. Lmao, doesn’t answer my questions though

[OlderAndWiser]

You asked if you are wrong. Yes, you should not be in this situation. Break up means good bye! There are always complications when people try to maintain relationships of any sort with an ex. Want to move forward with your life? Put your ex in your past!

[Asker]

No no, I asked if I was wrong on the part that if it doesn’t make sense that my ex only wants to deal with me, and only me when I want to deal with other people. You guys only concentrate on the fact that he’s my ex. That’s not the point, the point is I simply cannot understand the fact someone who is single, is willing to deal with one person thinking the other person would do the same, without isn’t the case. Usually when someone is just messing around, they have other people on the side. But yet, this guy only wants to deal with one person which is me.

[Asker]

*which isn’t the case

[OlderAndWiser]

If he wants an exclusive relationship with you, in his mind, you have not broken up and he wants to resume the relationship. If that is not what you want, it is wrong for you to be involved with him. Get it?

[adolescentswede]

Sounds like you got him wrapped around you're fingers if he stubbornly insist on you. By what you describe it would seem you have a committed man without agreeing on either sexual access or commitment

[lernulo]

There are feelings, its true, but you are the responsible of your life. So I think you make the wrong question. The right question is, what do I want to make? Ask it to yourself, and answer it.

[Anonymous]

That's the problem with fuckbuddies. I've had 3 fuck buddies before and all 3 wanted to be with me exclusively even though I made it clear I'm only with them for sex...

[yousir]

You broke up with him or he broke up with you?

[IsraeliSoldierr]

Leave.

[Asker]

Sis, I’m trying. Currently talking to another man. Just confused over this particular situation lol