I cheated on my bf?

[Anonymous]

I cheated on my boyfriend because he neglected me for a while. We couldn't see each other, and he barely sent me a text. I thought he cheated on me because i saw him liking other girls’ pics. I was at a bar last night and kissed a guy. I don’t really know what to do. I don’t want to break up with him.

Updates

+1 y

Update: I told him what happened last night, and how i felt about the relationship. I also broke up with him. The guy i kissed asked me on a date, and i decided to give him a chance. Thanks everyone.

Updates

+1 y

Also, to tell everyone what happened at the bar: i was at a bar and a guy bought me a drink and started talking. Then he asked to go back to his place but i refused and left. He walked me outside and gave me a peck on the lips. Im not sure if i let him do it because it happened very quickly. I did not slap him either. There’s not justification to what i did. I know it was wrong. I wish i could take it back but i can't.

[Lily_Pi]

You kissed a guy? That's cheating? Don't get me wrong, that's definitely not something you should do in a relationship but I wouldn't consider that cheating as much as a really stupid decision. Now with you dropped your dress and took him to bed that's a whole other story. I once kissed another guy when I was 16 in my first relationship. It was very dumb and I knew it. I decided not to tell my boyfriend because I realized how idiot it was and didn't want to upset him. I knew I'd never do it again and I didn't. I don't consider it cheating but it's definitely a breach of trust and is not okay. Your boyfriend sounds like an ass though. If he's freezing you out than he doesn't want you. Personally I'd drop him like a bad habit and find a man who's going to take you seriously. Love isn't a game it's a commitment.

[JoesCuriousBrain]

^^^ #1 reason why a lot of guys cheat and do bad things in the 1st place : Women NOT considering kissing cheating and trying to justify or rationalize it. If your with somebody. Giving your number out or flirting is cheating. Shame on you females...

[Lily_Pi]

What is considered cheating varies widely from person to person. That's why all couples should discuss their ideas of cheating together and then set boundaries as to what is or isn't ok. Just as an example, my current boyfriend doesn't consider things like flirting as cheating. He only considers sex as cheating. As I said above, kissing someone else is a breach of trust in a relationship and definitely shouldn't be treated lightly by any means, unless of course this has been established as ok. Some people even have "open relationships" in which sex with other people is ok. Different people consider cheating differently.

[JoesCuriousBrain]

You're giving me cancer with that awful response... nobody should EVER have to discuss with anybody what is considered cheating... if you're with someone and you're showing flirtatious or sexual interest in someone else, you should die bc that IS CHEATING

[Lily_Pi]

That's you opinion, how many girlfriends have you killed so far?

[heyyyyy123]

Arghh, you did cheat on him and you can't deny that. You also can't prove that he was cheating also.
If I were you, no matter how you feel about the situation, tell him please.
He's probably going to get mad, and he may break up with you he may not. But in all honesty, you just need to tell him why and that you feel really bad. You broke the rules of the relationship, of course it seemed like he was being kind of shitty but that doesn't mean you should cheat on him.
I know this sucks, but it will be for the best. He wasn't giving you what you needed, and you obviously had the capacity to do such a thing to him so maybe the relationship wasn't very strong in general.
But please tell the honest truth, don't carry that guilt with you.

[purpleflyingmonkey]

Likening pic doesn’t mean cheating
However
Taking the time to do that and not even send his girl a text is fucked up.
He probably don’t have the balls to break it off if he been so distant , so grow a pair yourself and move on. Don’t waste your time on someone who can’t even give you the time of day. Be strong chick. Breakups suck but neglect sucks more.

[BreakingSound]

"I was at a bar last night and kissed a guy. I don’t really know what to do. I don’t want to break up with him."

In the realm of cheating, I'd consider that pretty minor. I mean, I'd be really upset if a boyfriend kissed another girl, but if it was just a kiss at a bar and he honestly regretted it, I think I'd prefer he didn't tell me about it.

[Naditz]

This is the best answer. If she wants to stay with him and he won't find out then she should keep it to herself. Telling him should only be to make herself feel better while hurting him.

[Asker]

I was at a bar and he bought me a drink. We started talking and asked me to go to his place and i said no it’s getting late. Then he kissed me when we were outside sayinh goodbye. It was a peck on my lips and i didn't expect it.

[Naditz]

That almost doesn't sound like anything at all anyway

[nwahsheb]

Best answer in my opinion too!

[Kyren]

If you felt neglected in the relationship, you should have talked with him how you felt ignored in the relationship and have been wanting to feel loved for a while. Nothing good can come out of cheating for anyone! If you feel like this relationship with him isn't going to improve for the better, it would be best to leave and find someone who'll cherish their time with you and give you the attention/love that you're seeking! If you believe this can still work out, have a serious one on one conversation with him about what you're looking for in the relationship and apologize to him for cheating. Don't ever take the cowardly way out by avoiding the problem; you'll only make things worse that way. Be brave and step forward to face the problem head on and decide which course of action to take!

[Asker]

The thing is the guy kissed me when we were saying goodbye. It was so unexpected like a peck on my lips. :(

[Kyren]

If he forced that on you and you felt guilt from it, that wasn't your fault and I wouldn't consider that cheating. If on the other hand you allowed him to do that and liked it, that's another story. You haven't done anything that could ruin the relationship completely but just remember to be open about how you feel towards your boyfriend next time.

[Asker]

I dont even know if i allowed him. It happened so quick. I dont want to hurt my boyfriend so telling him is not going to be a good idea :( i think i might break up with him.

[Kyren]

You do what you believe is healthiest for the reason. If you love him very much and want to stay in a relationship with him, just come clean and express how you feel. If he's understandable, he may feel hurt temporarily but he knows you'll make an effort to be a better girlfriend! If you believe the relationship is beyond repair, then it would be best to leave so it doesn't become toxic. Just follow your heart and always think ahead on what to plan for.

[Kyren]

Update: I'm glad that worked out for you! I feel bad for what happened earlier but I do believe things happen for a reason. I wish you luck with this new guy :)

[Leo999]

Based on a few of your replies to others on here it doesn't seem as if you really cheated, or if you did, you did so just barely. It seems more like you have guilt over a desire for attention, which you claim your boyfriend isn't giving you, so you fear you subconsciously gave this other man permission to kiss you.

I'm not sure if you should tell your boyfriend or not, I suppose it depends on how solid your relationship with him is outside of there being a lack of affection on his part. Of course you should take responsibility for allowing yourself to be in the situation you've described, but in this case I think you should try and forgive yourself.

PS. I'd update your question to better explain the circumstances of the kiss if i were you.

[Asker]

What you described is very true :( im very unhappy in my relationship. I broke up with him once but got back together because i can’t move on.

[Leo999]

Well, if you were able to do it once I've confidence you can do it again and, this time, stick with it.

Curious: do you have any interest in getting to know the man who kissed you at the bar better, or is he just someone who was filling a void for you? If you actually have an interest in him, then at least then you'll have someone, at least in the short term, you can be with in order to take your mind off you, potentially speaking, ex.

[Asker]

He followed me on instagram and asked for a date which makes me feel even worse. I know my relationship is very toxic as im very sad all the time. Im always waiting for him to call or text me. It’s like he doesn’t care at all. I know i need to move on but im in a lot more pain when im not with him...

[Asker]

I have had many opportunities to cheat on him but i never did. The problem is not even saving the relationship anymore, it’s who i became as a person.

[asker1234521]

If it's toxic: run. It's better to be confident on your own than to wait for that moment when he makes you happy. Do things that make you happy as an individual.

Maybe ask yourself: does this boyfriend gives you energy or takes energy most of the time?

[Leo999]

Thanks for most helpful opinion.

Hope your date goes well, or has gone well if its already occurred.

[AwesomeCookie]

You're clearly unhappy. Why don't you do him & yourself a favor and move on. I'm sure there is more to your story but nothing justifies cheating, even when you're revenge cheating (not that you technically are, just generalizing). It's highly immature and just means that you're no better when you stoop to that level.

[AbAeterno1]

Telling him will only ruin what you're trying to hold together, be honest with yourself and ask yourself if the love has died in your relationship then find away to get it back.

Or if its a dead end relationship then it maybe time to move on.

But if you do see hope and it's just the spark that has died then know

1, it's never always Gunna be smiles and ow I love you hunni you're the best.

2, you need to work on your life goals together and workout what a successful life means to you guys and work on achieving it.

3, plan and make special moments with each other that builds great memories.

4, most importantly show gratitude towards each other and learn to appreciate each other as that'll bring that spark back (knowing and showing that you guys love each other and it's more than words)

Having a great relationship requires a heck of a lot of work.

[kaskas19]

No, cheating ruins what they're trying to hold together.

[AbAeterno1]

Yes I agree, but telling him ain't doing anything positive for them. So that's why I said be honest to herself and either try to fix it or end it.

[kaskas19]

Um yes it is positive. If you're dishonest, they need to know. It's a part of having a healthy relationship. Part of being honest, is her being honest with him too. No excuses.

[AbAeterno1]

I'm sorry but it sounds like bad advice I'd have to say especially if she wants to keep her relationship. Chances are her fella has already distanced himself from her (that's why she done it) and telling him will make it worse. It's not about being honest or dishonest (if that was the case I don't think there'd be any relationships at all, "if everyone was honest")

It's about making it work and fixing what's broken (if possible) or moving on

but saying I've kissed a guy behind your back will through massive doubt in her mind everyday after (thinking has he done the same or is if fair if he does it to someone else) and that's if her decides to stay in the first place.

Either move on (knowing I've kissed a guy and that pretty much tells me our love is dead or it was a massive mistake and never to do it again and fix it so it never happens again)

[ScaryCool]

You've pretty much messed yourself up badly. You were already insecure when it came to assuming he cheated just from him liking girls pics and now you yourself kissed another person so you're going to be thinking how he could do the same. Your best bet is to just tell him. Honestly, he probably will be kissed but I think if you want it to work you'll have to be honest and then try to work on these things somehow

[AbdKilani]

you are not loyal that is my opinion
It is either you are in a relationship or not
And you have to Break him , be first cheating on him and then breaking up with him , and to top it off you want to go out with the guy you cheated with
You heartless, you think that guy don't have heart or feelings?
I hope the guy is okay.

[Anon-ymous1]

You're ridiculous.

[AbdKilani]

@Anon-ymous1 why?

[Anon-ymous1]

If you are willing to get rid of someone who was allegedly important in your life over ^ this tiny-ass bullshit that she described, then that person was never actually important to you in the first place. That's not love; that's wanting ownership.

[AbdKilani]

@Anon-ymous1 i
can you clear your self a bit?

[Anon-ymous1]

I don't know what that means.

[AbdKilani]

@Anon-ymous1 it is clear you didn't read my opinion

[Anon-ymous1]

Um... what? Yes, I did read your opinion, and that's why I responded to it.

[AbdKilani]

Okay
I didn't get you though

[Asker]

I was in a relationship but everyday i woke up and looked at my phone he ignored my texts and was online all day. He canceled plans last minute because of stupid excuses. I would send him long text messages saying how much he meant to me and he would send me one word answers. I was hurt and unhappy all the time. Our relationship was already over and it took a stranger to kiss me at a bar for me to realize. And you know what? My ex is probably hurt because he realized how much I cared for him and how much he took it for granted.

[AbdKilani]

I hear you , but if it wasn't working then you should have broke up with him
And you should never cheat ever.

[cosmicc]

You kissed another guy bc you thought he was cheating bc he liked pictures of girls on instagram? Okey. You're clearly immature to be in a relationship

[JoesCuriousBrain]

Preach! Get'er girl

[Asker]

Okay* you’re too immature to spell.

[JoesCuriousBrain]

Somebody agrees with you and says good job and you call them names? That doesn't sound like something a "mature" person would do >.>

[Juver]

The only thing you can do to clean yourself is to being sincere and tell him what you did. It will not ensure you he will forgive you, but if you really love him or really like him you have to be sincere, you failed him already. Now, you have to give him the right to know, if he loves you and want to keep with you or if he thinks you are not trustworthy

[AbAeterno1]

Yeah about that, I'd say don't take that advice what so ever. If you've cheated but you love him then don't tell him or it will end the relationship simple. Or worse you'll give him a reason to cheat on you too.

Keep it to yourself and don't do it again. And spend more time trying to build a better relationship with him, if he's not interested anymore than it may be over but he don't want to hurt your feelings by telling you.

[asker1234521]

I think you need to have a talk about your problems. It seems like you dont trust him enough and your communication is off. I think a relationship needs good communication to succeed. Once you've had that talk you have to decide whether you tell him about the kiss or not. The truth is not in every situation the best solution.

[madhatters4]

you cheated because he liked some girls pictures?

anyway tell him what you did and let him decide what he wants to do.

[Asker]

My friends said i should go out and get it out of my head and i thought it would be a good idea. I was at a bar and some guy bought me a drink. We started talking and asked me to go to his place and i said no it’s getting late. Then he kissed me when we were outside saying goodbye. It was a peck on my lips and i didn't expect it.

[madhatters4]

well it's not much of anything. still i think honesty is the best policy. as a person who's been cheated on twice and never been told by the person i can say that i would have appreciated it and respected them greatly for it

[Asker]

I know it’s going to end up in a break up anyways. Woud you prefer knowing or not knowing about it? Should i just break up with him without telling him?

[madhatters4]

i would prefer knowing. i didn't know and i was lied to in both cases. when i found out i was far happier knowing and not living a lie with someone who was dishonest

do not just break up with him.

this is not a relationship type of matter. it's an ethical matter. a matter of morals. what we do when things in the face of adversity is what really defines us as people.

so do the right thing. it may hurt. it may lead to break up OR maybe not. but at least you'll know you did the right thing

[ThiccBoiSkeetSkeet]

You shouldn't cheat on him unless you are going to break up with him, talk to him about it and if he doesn't respond you may as well either wait or end it, and if you don't get what you want after talking to him it probably won't work out any time soon and should just end

[debi2622]

Just kissed another guy? If nothing more than that, then yeah - shouldn't have done that, but that is recoverable. But it was an incredibly stupid reason to begin with.

[ravedave]

You can't fix it. You've done something extremely moronic and immature, and he deserves someone more trustworthy and respectful than you. I advise breaking up and moving on. Save him the time and effort

[DM0806]

Just be honest. Tell him exactly what you think and that you don't think he's treating you as you'd like to be. If you're sorry make him now it- not just by saying sorry but by doing something for him. He'll probably be annoyed or upset but if he loves you he will forgive you, it was only a kiss

[okjay]

Telling him is the right thing to do. Understand his side of the story why communication wasn’t getting through. Maybe you two can see eye to eye and work things out

[Caaarl]

Horrible. I don't know why you're going out to bars and letting guys buy drinks for you unless you want to cheat.

You deserved neclect you ain't loyal.

[Asker]

I go out to the bars because I can.

Neglect*

[NamibianGuy]

I think he deserves to know. If he wants to take it as something horrible and be hurt by it, let him. If he wants to forgot about it and say it was nothing, let him. The choice should be his.

[marcelk02]

Sorry but that's just so stupid. You assume he cheats on you because he likes other girls pics, which results in you cheating on him. In your place i would have talked to him before cheating on him. But now i'd either keep it to myself or talk openly with him about that. If he really loves you he will maybe understand your point of view. And then: Happy end.

[Diznedude]

An unsolicited peck on the lips isn't really cheating.

[Anon-ymous1]

Exactly.

[JoesCuriousBrain]

That's what she SAYS, def not what actually happend I 100% guarantee it. And besides she jist admitted to being every bit of a PoS slut cum dumpster with her updates to the whole thing. Cheats on boyfriend, tells him, dumps him, and is now talking to the guy she cheated on him with...90% of all women summed up. Bravo to this hooker

[Asker]

@JoesCuriousBrain why so butthurt? Lol who hurt you bro

[JoesCuriousBrain]

Just about every girl is just like this whether they're as open and dumb as the topic owner or quiet about it. NO female dumps a guy without having something already lined up just like this, it's sick and i wanna sign the sidewalk with her face

[Asker]

@JoesCuriousBrain i would break your face if you touch me lmao. I can break up whenever i want. Who are you to judge me? Like you’re the most perfect guy on earth.

[JoesCuriousBrain]

I'D love that bc if I got marks on me the murder would be considered self defense lol, and it's bc you're a no good slut who cheats on somebody bc of social media with no proof of infidelity just a crazy bitch mindset. Compared to you and your kind, I AM perfect bc I'm 26 and have NEVER cheated on a girl. No flirting, getting numbers, and ESPECIALLY kissing which is 100% cheating. But hey I'm just a guy what do I know..

[Asker]

@JoesCuriousBrain you need some serious professional help.

[JoesCuriousBrain]

^^^ Lmao 😂😂 alright i get it now, you got me. This bitch be Trollin'

[Anon-ymous1]

@JoesCuriousBrain You sound like an idiot, dude.

[JoesCuriousBrain]

You're an idiot for saying that "dude". The girl who THINKS something is going on for nothing goes and cheats then dumps the boyfriend says that I need professional help 😂😂 like that's not narcissism at its finest. who are you to say I sound dumb

[Asker]

@JoesCuriousBrain it’s non of your business. You don’t know me so stop calling me names. You really need some help.

[JoesCuriousBrain]

SoOooOo Not only are you a lowlife human being you're also really dumb 🤣. You post your internal turmoil of being a slut in detail and result to the INTERNET then say it's "non" of my business? It's the world's business now bc you crave the attention, little twit 🙈

[Asker]

@JoesCuriousBrain omg lmao you’re really dumb. I feel so bad for you. You must be really hurt by someone aweeeeee.

[JoesCuriousBrain]

... how do things like you function?

[Anon-ymous1]

@JoesCuriousBrain I'm not retarded. That's who. You're clearly an idiot. Only morons or toddlers use emojis.

[JoesCuriousBrain]

😂🤣😇😆😆😆 I love it. Thanks for the support, good to have you

[D4314]

Talk to him. A drunk kiss is nothing so just tell him and try to move past it. If he neglects you then talk to him, maybe you two aren't right for eachother, otherwise he will make an effort. Just talk.

[Lengendary138]

Not trying to judge you here, but that was a dick move. You could've at least broke it off with him. I feel bad for your boyfriend.
PS. Liking other girls pics doesn't mean he's cheating, he's just admiring other beauty.

[acooke-13]

Hold up so you cheated on him because he liked girls pictures? Girl leave his ass so he can't go be with someone not crazy