"She's only using you for attention or to boost her ego"

[Anonymous]

I've asked a few questions on here about this girl I like. It seems like the majority of the answers I get are some variation of this phrase.

I want to know, Do you girls actually do this? I mean do you seriously lead a guy on just to make yourself feel good but never have any intention of having any kind of meaningful relationship with the guy? And when I say "lead on" I mean blatantly lead on, not this "I didn't know you liked me" crap.

I really can't imagine doing that to another person. If its true and people actually do this, then its seriously jacked up.

I know I directed this at girls because that's where my experience lies atm. I've never known a guy to do this but from reading on here people seem to think it happens pretty equally. Either way its messed up. Do people actually do this? And if so...WHY? Do you really need an ego boost that badly?

[miki94]

My friend is knowingly doing it to one guy right now. -_- And she openly admits it while seeing nothing wrong with it. (I guess this is why we aren't such good friends anymore)

While at the same time I think my best friend is in love with me and it makes me think I'm hypocritical to judge her since I don't want to break our relationship after growing up together. I love that man but not romantically. On the other side being aware of this does boost my confidence a lot. Now I'm thinking am I being selfish by keeping our relationship alive? As much as I care about him and don't want to hurt him, I feel like there is a selfish side to my pretending. Is it selfish? Should I give up our friendship so I don't break he's heart?

I'm giving an answer, but I need your advice too. So please tell me. =(

[Asker]

You don't need to give up the friendship. You should let him know that you do not share his feelings. If he's a true friend he'll stick around. If not, then he'll just drift away. The key is to not make it awkward for him after you tell him. You need to just be yourself and act like nothing happend after you tell him. Be friendly and have fun. More than likely he'll stick around.

[Anonymous]

it's true, girls do this, sometimes unintentionally. Some women are flirty in nature and do not realize they are being harmful to others. Just like mean tend to lead women on or use them for sex when they aren't interested in pursuing them. It works both ways.

[glion]

I know a girl and I'm sure she lead me on on purpose

[donewithguys]

I think she is saying that not all women do it on purpose. Just like some men truly like a girl but later lose interest but the girl feels like she was led on or used.

[donewithguys]

I am ashamed to say that a I did this when I was very young and had very low self-esteem. Now, I would never.

[browolf]

People who do that kind of thing do it compulsively. It's most likely learned behavior from childhood.