This happens and is normal - sometimes the other person reminds you of your SO or have the same qualities that you are attracted to. It's clear that acting on these feelings is wrong. What makes it cloudy/blurry is when the attraction is unexpected and is hiding under a friendship that is not quite just a friendship.
You get the "oh he's just a friend" or "I'm not attracted because he is with someone" or "she'd never do that" or "she doesn't have feelings because she's with/I'm with..."
It creeps up on you and before you know it, he/she is already hooked on a feeling. Whether you choose to act or not act, something is going down. This is why you do not keep close friends of the opposite sex - not just because of your SO, but also because of the perception you give to your SO and others around you.
For some situations, a friend of the opposite sex that becomes close to you during a relationship and spends more time with you is pretty much a solid case of having romantic feelings for you but hiding it, disguising it as friendship. Sadly, you need to think clearly and act on your SO's behalf instead of trying to preserve a good friendship, no matter the cost. End it for your sake and theirs.
Does it make you a bad person? As long as you don’t act on it, then no. But I would begin to ask yourself why you’re developing feelings for someone other than your partner. I think the key word in your question is “feelings”. That means that someone else is evoking emotions from you that your partner isn’t. I would look at what those feelings are, why this person is making you feel that way, and most importantly is it worth risking your current relationship to allow these feelings to develop?
Attraction doesn't make you a bad person, but if you do develop feelings for someone and you realize it you need to withdraw yourself from that person if you value your current relationship at all.
Having that temptation there can lead to terrible actions and consequences. And also an affair of the heart is still an affair, and, im my opinion, is much more painful to experience.
When I found out I was being cheated on and saw the messages, seeing the text "i love you," "babe," and "sweetie" made me wish he had just fucked her once or twice and moved on...
I'd of been pissed either way but somehow the fact that he spent time, quality time talking to and getting to know her while still claming to love me cut me deeper than the physical contact.
I feel, if you have developed feelings for someone it shows you have spent a bit more time with them. Probably went out of your way to do something for them.
Finding out your partner has Become emotionally/romantically connected with someone is 1000x more painful than physical.
They aren't even your partner anymore. It shows the love wasn't real. Let them go, and don't try and make those feelings go. away. its too late.
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No, its not always a bad thing. I was dating somebody and rejected a guy who was way better than him for the sake of the guy I was dating and then got dumped by the guy I was dating but only after the other guy that was way better than him got a girlfriend. If I had responded by dumping my ex-boyfriend when the way better guy hit on me the first time I could be dating the man of my dreams right now. Instead the way better guy is dating another girl and my ex-boyfriend is being super rude to me.
Scenarios like this are why people refer to a womans nature as fickle. Even if it doesn't make you a bad person that doesn't mean it's okay to do or that it's not damaging to your relationship. You can do many bad things that doesn't make you a bad person. Just means you did a bad thing.
Attraction is not a choice, but choosing to spend one on one time with someone you're attracted to who is not your partner is a bad thing that is 100% your choice. Because you're opening the door for feelings to develop and something to happen. That attraction is a strong pull. You have to decide to fight it and remove yourself from the situation. Many people decide to do what's easier/comfortable and just stay in that situation because it feels good and it's "not cheating". So time goes by, feelings grow stronger and stronger till something does happen. Then the person goes "oops, it just happened. I didn't mean for it to happen". Well, maybe not at the start. Maybe not consciously, but you deliberately to steps that would baby step you towards things to happen.
So your actions say you wanted something to happen if you're playing with that line.
Developing feelings for someone else while in a relationship is perfectly normal. You should recognize those feelings and avoiding compromising situations with the other person.
Contrast this to someone who acts on those feelings (playful touching, hooking up, explicit flirting/sexting). Yes, I would consider the latter person "bad" because their not being faithful to their other partner. How is it fair to entrap someone in a relationship and ask for exclusivity if you flirt/hook up with someone else?
No, it doesn't make you a bad person but then your thinking becomes questionable, your morals and values become questionable. It makes you an uncertain kind of person and not a trustworthy person.
It is not right that you can develop feelings for someone else while you are in a relationship, it is betrayal, disrespect to the person you are in relationship with and plus your morality becomes questionable because it's like you don't know what you want and you can never be satisfied no matter how good the thing you may get, no matter how good a person you may get. It's like if you find someone better than current partner then automatically you start getting attracted to that person, you start developing feelings and this is never a good thing.
After a while a third person might come into the picture who might be better than the first and second person and this would become an endless cycle.
Nobody would want a committed relationship with such a person. That's what I can say.
Its perfectly normal, we are humans and we are put in these situations. As long as you dont act on it... speaking of acting this happens a lot with actors who do lots of romance and love scenes together, as they are being intimate and looking in each others eyes and spending a lot of time together they can often develop feelings for each other (which is why its quite common to see couples come out of films)
In my opinion, if you're in a committed relationship already then you have to devote yourself to them completely. Developing feelings for someone else means that you went out of your way to create a relationship/close friendship with another person which is betrayal. Some people believe that it's only wrong if you cheat and that you "couldn't help" falling for someone else. Actually, it could've been avoided from the beginning. Developing feelings started somewhere... why did you involve yourself with another person and why did you devote so much time to fall for them? If you are unhappy with another then just break it off. Don't hurt someone so deep that you supposedly "loved". If you're supposedly "in love" with a significant other then you're supposed to spend your time with them not be emotionally invested with another man/woman.
It doesn't make you truly "bad" but it definitely makes you look like you're a naive imbecile that can't control themselves.
Depends what you do. I was once in a relationship and realised I liked a guy at work more. I ended the relationship without even finding out if the guy liked me first because I couldn't be in that relationship any more knowing I liked someone else.
After I ended the relationship I approached the guy and we got together.
Yes, because how you like it if your partner did it to you? I am so tired of the double standards with cheaters most of the time they don't like cheating behaviour yet they do it. Thank god I am not the type to forgive and try to make it work out anymore I dump your ass asap and move on with my life. My time is precious I am making it count every second.
I was going to say yes, but then I thought about it a bit more. We sometimes look for love elsewhere, or for companionship qualities we are missing with our partner.
It's when you develop more romantic feelings, and whether you encourage this or not, that moves you into a grey area. It's technically cheating regardless, but like I said, grey area.
Acting on it definitely defines you as the good or bad person. If you break up and move straight away to another, it's bad. If you cheat, it's bad. 🤷
Well, developing the feelings itself is not bad, you can't always control who you love. But the moment you let those feelings be seen from the exterior you cheated. Cheating is not necessary sex or a kiss. Simply telling someone else you care about them or expressing the intent of being intimate in any way with them is emotionally cheating on your partner.
It doesn't mean you're a bad person, it means you lack wisdom since you got way too close to a person that's not your partner and got attached. It makes you a bad person if you start cheating on your partner (emotionally or physically). The right way is either breaking up with your partner or cutting ties with this new person.
It makes you bad if you indulge in them and if you actively cultivated them i. e. if you noticed where things where heading and instead of cutting contact you continued to see the person, flirted with them etc. You can't control your emotions but you can control your actions.
You can't control your feelings, it's okay if you do develop feelings, but it's not okay if you act on them and cheat for example.
If you developped feelings for someone you don't know well, you can always cut off contact with them, if it's someone you know for a long time you'd probably do best ny telling them and focusing on things you don't like about them to make those feelings go away
Developing feelings no
Acting on them without resolving your relationship is bad though if it makes you a bad person is a little iffy depends on many things
It is not a binary thing there are many nuances
No, it is normal. It is when it acted upon that it is a problem but even then it is a sign that either your relationship is not as good as you thought it was or the other person has a character flaw, in other words is a cheater or a potential cheater.
Sometimes you get feelings for other, but then you think about it and see if it's worth it or not to end the relationship your in. You never act on it for that is what makes you a bad person. if your unhappy in the relationship your in, then you can end the relationship and only then.
Only bad if you act on it , thats why you should dump your current partner before moving on to the Next
I think it means you are being too friendly with someone other than your SO.
I dont believe its right to maintain friendships with the opposite sex while in a relationship exactly for this reason.
If you aren't in love with your SO, break up with them. Dont be that asshole who waits until they have their next relationship secured before breaking up.
It doesn't unless you act upon those feelings without ending your "unsatisfactory" relationship first.. Which you should, if you develop feelings for someone else.
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