How to deal with a boyfriend with an unpredictable work schedule?

[Anonymous]

Boyfriend has a job where he doesn’t work set hours, he works by appointment. So if his boss gives him a last minute appointment he will take it... even if he has plans with me. We usually see eachother on the weekends, but sometimes we will try to make plans during the week and then I get disappointed when he has a work commitment and can’t see me. It made me realize that if we were to ever get serious, (been together less than 2 months) I would have to deal with the fact that if he has an appointment then I would have to just be ok with it. I try to be understanding, it’s just hard to even look forward to seeing him during the week because of his work schedule, there’s a high probability I won’t see him. Would this bother you?

[DiamondQueenOfAce]

No, this wouldn't bother me, but I understand that it bothers you. I'd suggest that you think about how he feels. He's trying really hard to make you happy and truly wants to see you. However his job is just not allowing him the free time that he wants. I wouldn't suggest that you tell him to switch jobs because you haven't been together for a long time. But talk to him about this issue. Perhaps there is another solution?

[Asker]

Well he expects me to understand that if he can’t see me that particular day, thst things come up and he will see me in a day or two...

[DiamondQueenOfAce]

Of course he wants to see you as soon as possible, but wants you to know that he can't just pick a date and keep his schedule completely empty for that day.

If his work truly is an issue to you, I would start to wonder whether he's the right man for you. I mean, not many people would change their jobs for you, especially this early in the relationship.

[Asker]

And I wouldn’t expect him to. I know he has a bigger plan. This is his job right now, but he’s in the process of a business venture also

[Asker]

He works on commission also

[DiamondQueenOfAce]

Jobs can be extremely busy, so I think that he also has to find out what works for him when it comes to time management. I don't know how many relationships he's had in the past, and why they didn't work out. However, this relationship is still new for him and putting his focus on you AND his job is something that might take some time.

[Asker]

Well he gave up a lot for an ex because she complained and it didn’t work out... so he’s cautious

[DiamondQueenOfAce]

If that’s the case, it’ll get better with time 😊

[Asker]

Thank you 😊

[DiamondQueenOfAce]

You’re welcome, and good luck 😊

[LuvAsh]

It would bother me but on the times when he is off just ask to hang out for a little bit. And if u love him then you'd have to just deal with it or talk to him about trying to find a job with a set schedule and until he finds one he has to stay with the job he has just in case

[truthbeknown]

You are only a couple of months in and you are jumping to negative conclusions too soon. Give it more time and be more patient. You might have to be more spontaneous rather than planning for the next week.

[lightbulb27]

probably would if there were plans, but I'm pretty flexible and I just fill in with something else. I doubt this sits very well with most females...

[Asker]

Yes females are wired different whereas men are more goal driven

[Purpleronnie]

This is a good question , I have personal experience of this in my own relationship. It did bother me ( I was the one working the crazy schedule ) and so I changed job. All I can offer is that when you live together it’s easier to cope with until then hopefully you like him enough to invest your patience a little :)

[integrale77]

Got to get you boyfriend to accept there are times it's ok to say no, work can't rule your life maybe he can agree with his boss some days or times then he can't schedule work.

[BrianMerritt]

I know how you feel, I have a similar situation.
You knew what you were signing up for. His job is a priority for him, even if you become one too. If you are ok with the relationship growing slowly, then stick it out.

[taleswapper]

I dated a cop once; very similar. Lots of mandatory overtime. Just try to stay understanding and flexible... Try and plan dates and such that aren't time-specific.

[OlderGuy60]

If you care for him accept it; it won't last forever. And he should know that it's ok to say NO , and don't feel guilty about it.

[Pejtu]

i dont believe u both won't be able to see each other at least twice a week
work is work but if u really care u will find time for this 1 person that u love

[SpunkNugget]

You should tell him to quit his job because it's stupid and you are the only job he needs

[LuvAsh]

He gotta eat too!!😑😑

[SpunkNugget]

That's overrated. Her presence will be enough

[LuvAsh]

Yea until he starts to think she is a chicken wing!!😂😂😑

[SpunkNugget]

That's the ultimate show of lovd

[SpunkNugget]

Love*

[LuvAsh]

Smh😂

[SpunkNugget]

Smh smh roflcopter lolcano

[Asker]

🙄🙄 don’t think so

[bklynbadboy1]

Before I answer the question did he have this job when you met him

[Asker]

Yes he did

[bklynbadboy1]

I think you should talk to him but don't it but be easy cause he had that same job when you met him

[outside_Toronto]

So why doesn't he dedicate a time or day that he isn't available to the job?

[Rambler221]

It's just adult life. All you need to do is make sure you see eachother some weekends (not even all of them, as this will become stifling and boring)

[MusicMayhem]

Find a new guy then. Plenty out there.

[BananaGrey]

Marry him

[Anonymous]

get a boyfriend with a predictable one?