What does it mean if my boyfriend told me he wants to "start over" as friends, and work on our relationship.

My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday, because we argue too much. However, I feel as if I can't do anything right, no matter what I try, and I really have no idea as to how the arguments start or why they happen. He now says he wants to start over as friends, work on our relationship, to hopefully start dating again. He said he doesn't want to see other people, and he doesn't want me to see other people. I do not want to be broken up, nor stay broken up. Does anyone have any advice for me, or pointers in what I should say or do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Wow, that is exactly what my girlfriend and I are going through. As you can see, I did put girlfriend. We dated officially for a year and four months, but we've been together for over two years.

    But anyways, there is probably more to the reason than what he's telling you. When I broke up with Hailey, I knew that I was unhappy and so was she. We had some major trust issues starting and a few more major problems. I broke up with her because I did not want to see them get really big. It turns out, that even when she promised to change and be a better girlfriend, she was not trying to. She told me later, "I know I promised to change, but I knew you would never break up with me so I didn't think that I really HAD to." That's a little messed up to me.

    I told her that I wanted to start over and see if we could go back to the way we used to be, but she just wanted to be single for the first couple days of the break-up. Her mind changed of course, and it gets very complicated for there on.

    It's been about of month since the break-up and we are talking and acting almost like we were going out again. Just like you, my girlfriend, or "ex-girlfriend" does not want to be single either. She asks me all the time when we will get back together. I tell her that I do not know and it could be a while. The truth is that I don't know if we ever will again. We're most likely going to colleges far from each other and I know it will never work out. The worst part of it is, my mom HATES her!

    I don't know all of what is going on between you and your boyfriend, but hope for the best. If you really want to be with him again, then try your very best to be the best girlfriend you can possibly be. If you don't, and you've lost hope, then DO NOT stay with him. It will be a waste of time and will never work out. Although, to me, he sounds like he still likes you a lot. If he does not want to see other people, then he still wants to be with you. It is important to stop talking to him if you find out that he has been secretly (Or not so secretly) been seeing other people. If he tells you that he doesn't want to be with anyone else, then make sure he sticks to his word. Don't get me wrong though, he probably wants to take a break and be friends because he is probably unhappy about the whole relationship. It happens to everyone and there is no telling how long with will be before you get back together. If he truly wants to be with you, then he will not see other people and he will do his best to keep you in his life. Don't stress about it. Sometimes starting over can be a good thing.

    I hope this helps, but I have also been really confused about the whole issue with Hailey. If you have any advice for me, I would love to hear it.


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